Work Text:
Tim was on a mission. The names Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng rang through his ears and he was determined to-
And Dick snatched the croissants and macaroons and shoved a few of them into his mouth. Mid shew, his eyes widened and muffled sounds of talking followed persistently.
“Where in the world did you get these ? They’re amazing!”
Tim rolled his eyes, “A bakery. I went there earlier. Maybe I’ll take you tomorrow.”
Dick shot up before practically getting on his knees and groveling at Tim’s feet.
“ Please . You have to!”
Tim’s lips pursed in thought and Dick suddenly glared at him.
“You’re hiding something. Spill. Or I’m telling Alfred what happened to his vase.”
“When I say that I would marry into the family just for the coffee and pastries, I mean it very seriously.”
“If you don’t, I will.”
“Aren’t you dating Kori?” Tim deadpanned. Dick swallowed thickly.
“Wait! Noooo, don’t tell her I said that. I’ll just adopt them.”
“I was actually just about to see if the owners even had any kids.”
Dick clamped his jaw shut and followed Tim towards his laptop. It was no Batcomputer but it was good enough to get some light research done. And he did find out that they had a daughter. A girl about a year or two younger than him. Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He tried to get a bit more information but the laptop was quickly snatched away.
“Aww. Look how tiny she is. I would totally adopt her.”
“ Dick !”
Tim and Dick were regulars. They were on a first name basis with the owners and Tim had even gotten a few glimpses of Marinette here and there. Tim had, more than once, talked Dick down from adopting her then and there. Tim though, yeah, he was sure he had hearts in his eyes. Not even for the coffee or pastries anymore. It seemed that no matter what she did, it was always to help others with nothing but a large grin in place.
She was clumsy, something her friends found endearing and Tim briefly wondered if that was another huge factor why Dick wanted to adopt her. To encase her in pillows and bubble wrap and away from Hawkmoth.
Neither Tom nor Sabine knew though, they’d think it was stalkerish of them. And while it was true to an extent, he really didn’t want to come off that way in front of her parents. So both he and Dick kept their mouths shut.
And of course Tim had to screw it up.
He didn’t mean to, he was calmly enjoying a cup of coffee and a few danishes when there seemed to be a lull in customers. Sabine walked up to him, dusting her hands on her apron as she approached him and Tim looked up at her with a half-smile.
“Enjoying yourself?”
“Oh yes . More than once I’ve stopped myself from asking you if you have any single children so I could marry into the family just for the pasties and coffee alone.”
Shit. He didn’t mean to say that. Now she was definitely going to think he was a crazy stalker. Thank god he didn’t mention that he already knew that she had a daughter. That would be an even worse nightmare.
Sabine’s eyes widened and she giggled, seeming to think it was a joke or he was just being dramatic.
“Eep!”
Tim turned to the sound, feeling a dark blush form on his face when he noticed Marinette standing there covering her face with her hands as she peeked at him through her fingertips.
“I don’t know about that but I do know that my daughter would be quite flattered.” Sabine sing-songed.
Marinette waved awkwardly at him and he grimaced back, noticing the way her friends behind her seemed to glare into his very soul.
“Hi.”
Bonus:
“ Dick .”
This was insane. This can’t be happening. He’s talked him down from adopting her before but he thought they would be over it by now. Seriously, they’ve had this conversation way too many times before.
“What about shared custody?”
“ No .”
“Visiting privileges?”
“That’s not how it works! She needs to be your kid or family for that!”
“Come on! Jason wants to adopt her too!”
Everyone does. Jagged Stone. Clara Nightingale. Hell, even Audrey Bourgeois. Bruce had even tried his hand at adopting her. Lex Luthor was constantly trying to undermine everyone’s attempts at adopting her and commissioning her. Which was weird considering how he felt about Connor.
“ No adopting my girlfriend .”
“But her parents won’t let me!”
Obviously .
“For a damn good reason! Just because everyone wants to adopt her doesn't mean you can!”
“But even Damian-”
“Damian is only trying to adopt her for the pocket sized animal themed gods she carried around in a sewing machine!”
That had been a weird revelation for everyone involved. Except of course his girlfriend was chill with everything at this point.
“But-But-”
“ NO !”
Why did he still get the feeling that Dick still wasn't listening to him?