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Joshua still remembers the disappointment he felt over his missed meeting with his soulmate.
He had been born with 2 soulmate strings already attached to his little pinky at birth. As he grew, he would gain a whole new set of 10 soulmate strings. By the time he was 4, he had 12 strings, 11 of which were pulling to the west, and then there was 1 string that pulled off to the east. Joshua was always so very excited to meet his soulmates. He was convinced they’d be his very best friends. While his parents were a bit more worried with the amount of strings he had, he never had any reservations.
As a child, he had greatly appreciated the time he spent in the church. Like any child, he wouldn’t always listen during certain sermons, but whenever the pastor would bring up soulmates, he’d listen absolutely captivated. So young Joshua would behave the best he could, trying to be a good friend, a good person, for his soulmates.
Joshua was always determined to meet his soulmates and become their best friend, and he would always remain so hopeful that he would meet them, all of them.
That excitement came to a head in March 2003. Joshua was in second grade, and woke up feeling excited. He couldn’t tell why, but something about today felt different. He went about his school day like normal, and throughout the day he realized his soulmate string that always pulled to the east was now pulling directly above him. He felt a bit confused at first, thinking maybe it meant his soulmate was an angel who was going to heaven. But then, his soulmate string lowered back to the ground, and he felt a buzzing in his body. His soulmate was close by! They must have been on an airplane! Maybe they were on spring break and coming to LA!
His attention span was lacking as his teacher droned on through their classes. Normally, Joshua participated fairly well in classes, but today all his notes had little doodles as his mind wandered trying to picture his soulmate. He knew his eastern string soulmate was one of the youngest ones, according to his mom anyway. He wondered if they’d be a boy or a girl. Maybe they’d want to play legos with him or play with hot wheels. Or maybe if his soulmate was here on vacation they’d go to Santa Monica beach! Joshua loved the beach. Maybe if he told his mom, he could get them to go to the beach too! As his class ate lunch, all Joshua talked about was his soulmate string and how instead of being pulled super tight, it was loose. He barely ate his lunch, talking about all the places he’d go with his soulmate. Maybe he’d meet them at Disneyland or Six Flags!
His excitement lingered throughout the school day. That is until after lunch when he felt his soulmate string lift back up again. His mood soured as his soul string rose higher and higher as the day passed. So Joshua waited. And slowly, as the rest of the school day progressed, his easterly string stayed high up in the sky and started pulling west with the rest of his strings. He had always felt closer to this string. It was nice knowing that they were far away from the rest of the soulmates too. But now, all of his strings pulled west. Now he was the one left all alone.
So imagine his mom’s surprise as her little mild-mannered Joshua immediately started sobbing when she picked him up from school.
“Mommy, my soulmate is gone!”
“I’m sure you’ll see them again tomorrow Joshy, what class are they in?”
“No! They’re not in school, they were here in LA and they’re gone!”
“How do you know that they’re gone? Maybe they’re driving around the state?”
“No! My soulmate string is going to the sky! I’m never going to meet them!” Joshua sighed loudly, “They’re so far away!”
As they reached the driveway, his mom helped him out of the car. They made their way inside the house where she got him juice and Goldfish crackers. As he began to eat his snack, still sniffling as his sobs had calmed down, she began to speak, “Listen Joshy, I know it’s hard, but you’ll meet them one day. The universe will put them in your life when the time is right.”
“But I want to meet them now!”
“Well, we don’t always get what we want, Joshua. You’ll meet them when you’re older.” His mom leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. “Now finish up your snack and do your homework.”
“Ok mommy.” And with that, Joshua finished his snack and went to his room.
That night, he would think about his soulmate and all the things he would have done with them, would have shown them. A habit that sticks with him for the rest of his life. He wants to show them everything he can of his childhood home.
With time, the exact memory of his near meeting with his soulmate fades. That is until Pledis just drops him into a group of trainees and he meets 11 of his soulmates at once. It’s a bit overwhelming, especially as the trainee period is so uncertain over who will make it to the final group. He doesn’t know what their expectations are for soulmates and just tries to befriend them all. A task that becomes easiest with Jeonghan. They’re both the most recent additions, so it’s easier to get along with him.
He puts the thought of the near meeting aside as he’s trying to get to know everyone. His Korean isn’t the best, but he’s trying. That is until he meets him. “Hey I’m Hansol. I’m from the US too.”
“Oh no way! I’m Joshua, I’m from California.”
“Oh cool I’m from New York, but I moved to Korea when I was 5.” In that moment, everything clicks for Joshua. “It was you!” Hansol looks confused. “What do you mean it was me?”
“You were in California, you must have had a layover in LA. I felt your soul string close to mine.” Joshua can see the acknowledgement on Hansol’s face. “Yeah, I gotta be honest, I slept through most of that day so I don’t remember too much,” Joshua’s face drops, “But it is crazy to think about how close we were. Isn’t it crazy how we’re all trainees?”
Joshua takes a second to recompose himself, “Well, not all of us. We’re still missing one of our soulmates.”
That night, as Joshua is getting ready for bed with the rest of the trainees, he keeps thinking about his conversation with Hansol. He had hoped that his soulmate would have felt a deeper connection with him. That they would have immediately clicked. But it hasn’t happened. He convinces himself it’s because of their trainee status and that they’re all too scared of forming attachments and being cut from the debut group to try anything. Even though that logic doesn’t hold up for Seungkwan and Hansol who try to sit in each other’s laps at every given opportunity as if they’re trying to meld into one person.
Years later, they’ve debuted and Joshua finds himself reflecting on that night. Seventeen is on their first world tour and they just performed in California. His soulmates surround him as he takes them for a walk around Santa Monica Pier. He’s showing off his hometown, and they all listen to him with rapt attention. Well, some of them are at least. They stop for ice cream of which Joshua and Hansol have to order for everyone. They split off into groups of 3 and 4 to make the best use of the tables. He sits with Seungcheol and Jeonghan. As they’re eating their ice cream, Seungcheol is grumbling about having paid for everyone while Jeonghand steals bites from both of their ice creams even though he has his own. Joshua overhears their maknaes talking amongst themselves.
“LA is so nice, Joshua is so lucky to have grown up here,” Chan began, “Imagine having met him here.” Seungkwan nods along before adding, “Yeah it would’ve been a lot better than meeting at Pledis.”
Joshua pulls away from the group for a moment. He stands on the boardwalk and looks out at the skyline that used to be so familiar to him. While he’s grateful to have all his soulmates in his life now. He still can’t help but wish he had met them here and gotten the cinematic soulmate meeting. Finding them by chance at the beach, and being awestruck instantly, instead of having the weight of debut looming over them and crushing their hopes of remaining together. As he’s about to turn away and join the rest of them again, Hansol is standing next to him, and has linked their pinkies together. Joshua waits for him to speak, but he doesn’t. Hansol just smiles at him, and walks back to the rest of the group with him. They never let go of each other’s pinkies for the rest of the night.
And so, as he walks alongside Hansol, who he’s purposely speaking in Konglish with so their other soulmates can only understand a frustratingly small portion of their conversation, his heart is full. It’s the first time Joshua thinks of them as his home.