Chapter Text
" Hell, no." Keigo protested for the third time, watching the yo-yo swing back and forth between Rumi's fingers with distaste.
" C'mooon, it'll be fine! Just let me," bringing the toy up to his face she made a tick tick noise, mocking that of a clock. "Who knows, maybe it'll be fun!"
"Fun?" He exasperated, "You are wayy too optimistic, Rumi. Isn't memory loss like this caused by really traumatic memories or some shit? No way it's gonna be 'fun'."
Rumi sighed dramatically as she pocketed the toy, "Alright, I won't push," she turned to leave, " bUt -" she sing-songed, looking back at him "Lemme know if you change your mind!"
Keigo watched her leave around the corner before shouting, "Where are you going!?"
" Home !"
" This is your house!" He launched to his feet to scramble after her.
-
Jeanist dropped Bakugou off the next day for his weekly babysitting. The afternoon had been pretty uneventful save for the few attempted robberies that were quickly taken care of by a couple stray feathers.
As of now the two were strolling along one of the lesser busy sidewalks, Keigo humming a quiet tune while the kid rambled on about random things.
Bakugou and his classmates were now in their second year. The war had brought them all closer together, and~
"I told you so!" He grinned, wings fluttering in victory.
Bakugou and the, as he put it, 'half n' half fucker' had gotten together over the summer,- the kid told all this through hesitant and clenched teeth.
"I hate you so much," he rolled his eyes, "y'know, he was actually quite surprised when I confessed-"
"Hold up-!" Keigo's eyes widened comically. " You confessed to him!?"
Bakugou narrowed his eyes, "fuck you too then, feathery bastard."
Keigo's smile only got bigger, "I'm so proud of you, little guy, my heart," he clutched at his costume theatricality, other hand thrown over his eyes, "can't.. take.. it.." He gasped.
"God you're such an idiot, y'know that?"
"Of course I do!"
Bakugou looked at him strangely, "Weirdo," he scoffed.
The next topic of conversation got a little more serious than the winged hero would've anticipated.
"So, this year's Sports Festival is coming up, excited?"
"Mm?" The kid refocused his attention on him, shrugged, and looked ahead again, "Yeah, I guess, I mean I made such a spectacle of last year's, I don't really need the exposure of this one. Might as well let the other's catch up, huh?" He chuckled, although humorlessly.
He changed the topic quickly after that.
"You'd be excited to hear Tokoyami is almost at the top of the class again already."
Once and a while during his weekly babysitting of the kid he would be given updates on how his past intern was doing, and Keigo's heart warmed a bit with each little fact.
Keigo gazed a little distantly ahead of them, a small smile on his lips. "I wouldn't expect any less."
Ever since the war the Commission has forbidden him from taking in any more interns, something about the media thinking it will "corrupt the youth". Keigo isn't sure if he believes them.
"What you were saying before-" Keigo glanced at the boy beside him, "about last year's festival, what did you mean by that?"
Bakugou eyed him with that strange look again, "when they strapped me down in front of thousands of viewers, in turn making me ripe for picking amongst weak hearted citizens and creepy villains? That part?"
"Kinda-? I don't.. like.."
"Don't worry about it," He waved him off with a gloved hand, "Jeanist and a few others apologized for it a while ago, hell, even All Might has apologized once and a while."
Keigo furrowed his brow. That's not what he was wondering at all.
"Why?"
The question seemed to spook Bakugou as he paused in his tracks, glaring at him.
"What do you mean 'why' ?"
Keigo averted his gaze to the sky, tracing the outlines of the clouds in his head.
"Just," he gestured vaguely in front of himself, "why? Y'know?"
"Uh, no, no I don't 'know'." Bakugou wasn't the type to put his hands on others unless warranted, so it was a bit more than surprising when he snatched at Keigo's wrist, effectively stopping his movement.
His eyes narrowed to a point at the hand on his arm, having to remind himself that this was a friendly touch and not that of an enemy. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and looked away.
Not even a second later he was meeting the kid's gaze, cool as a cucumber.
"Yes?" Keigo hated the passive, blank tone he used, but it was an unconscious effort on his part,
"Tell me why you're so surprised they apologized?"
Keigo expanded on his earlier question, voice monotone. "I just don't get why they would apologize, makes no sense to me. I mean, it wasn't that bad, considering," he shrugged.
"What the fuck are you saying!? That I deserved it? Deserved to be treated like a damn villain on display to millions!? Deserved to be restrained and muzzled like a fucking rabid dog!?" Keigo definitely did not flinch at the harsh tone, nope, he got that trained out of him a long time ago.
Now it was his turn to regard the boy with a similar confused look from earlier. He cocked his head to the right, squinting at Bakugou as he said;
"I didn't see it that way…is, is.." He thought about it for a moment… Nope. He just can't see why the kid would've been so distraught over such a small thing. Sure the kidnapping was a bit harsh… but-?
He hesitated a bit, opening his mouth a few times but inevitably closing it. He didn't know how to say-
"Spit it out already, asshole!"
"Is…is that not… normal?" He winced, saying it outloud sounded worse than it actually was. God, he's such an idiot.
Bakugou balked, "What."
Keigo shook his head in an attempt to clear the sudden cloudiness that threatened to pull him back under. He didn't want that. Not right now at least.
"No-nothing, kid, it's nothing-" He started walking again. "Let's just keep going."
"Hold up-" A strong grip tightened around his forearm and Keigo's breath caught in his throat, freezing in place.
His brain filled up with that fog again, murky waters rising. He was slipping, numbness clawing at his consciousness.
"Yes?" He grit out between clenched jaws, trying his damn hardest to keep his feathers from puffing up. No, no, no, not now, not here-
He turned to face the young boy, which was a mistake. His heart dropped to his stomach at the taken aback expression on Bakugou's face. Red eyes wide and eyebrows raised.
He dropped his hand and Keigo took a much needed breath. Blowing away the smoke that had gathered above his head.
"You alright there, kiddo?"
Bakugou's expression returned to his normal scowl, to which he was immeasurably grateful for.
"How many times do I gotta tell ya, old man, I'm not a kid." The frown left again, replaced by something neutral but hesitant. "Are you- are you alright there?"
Keigo's face brightened, eyes squinted, smile wide and teeth on display. "Of course I am!"
"Okay.."
" Why , whydoyouthinkthat'snormal?"
Keigo's face dropped, smile slipping away as he sighed. "I fucked it up again, didn't I?" One look at the kid confirmed that, at least. "Is it not?"
"No," his voice was calmer than the winged hero was expecting. "No, it's not."
Though it sounded more like the boy was trying to convince himself of something more unrelated. He didn't say anything else, and Keigo was getting antsy. He needed to fill in the gaps- sue him;
"Isn't it though? I mean, yeah, you didn't deserve to be kidnapped, but the festival? You were getting a bit out of hand- and is that not what you do when a kid misbehaves?" He really should stop while he's ahead- "lock them up?"
Bakugou startled, snapping his eyes to Keigo's own.
"Why- no, that's not- why do you think that?"
And Keigo was confused again. Was this… was this really not common knowledge?
He doesn't remember much- but he remembers the box, remembers the cold metal digging into his jaw-
He really should stop talking-
But he's never been good at keeping his mouth shut, has he?
"That's what they did to me."
The silence between them was deafening. A few people glace their way to which Keigo brushed them off with a smile and a wave.
"You doing alright there, kid?"
" Am I- am I okay!?" The volume of his voice raised slightly, and Keigo was confused again.
"Uhm, yeah? That's what I asked?"
"The real question is- are you okay?" The boy spluttered.
Okay, this is getting a bit weird now.
"Let's just keep walking…"
They continued the patrol and the end couldn't come soon enough. Keigo was thoroughly exhausted, the remainder of the afternoon had been filled with stilted conversations and awkward silences.
Just before he dropped the kid off Bakugou gave him one final look before heading to the front doors of Jeanist's agency.
-
"Hawks." Dammit. He had been so, so close to getting away scot free. It had been an entire week since the weirdness that was his last babysitting duty.
"Yes?" Looking over his shoulder he noticed both Jeanest and Rumi approaching him.
The universe was just in his favor, wasn't it?
"We need to talk."
Here it goes, he's never going to see the kid again- never going to hear about his intern,- they're going to lock him up once more-
He tilted his head slightly to the right, a cocking grin playing at his lips. "We are talking."
"This is not a joking matter, Hawk-" Rumi spread an arn out in front of Jeanist, halting his speech.
"This isn't what we talked about-"
"Aw, you guys talk about me? How sweeeet , all good things I hope!" He fluttered in place, playing into the innocence act.
Rumi shot him a look, "Kei, c'mon, take this seriously please."
He caved, dropping to his feet. "Fine, fine- I get it, I can't babysit the kid anymore, yadda yadda- just get on with it already," he waved dismissively, turning around to shuffle some papers around mindlessly. As if his heart wasn't beating horrifically offset, threatening to tear its way through his ribs.
" What ?" They both said simultaneously.
"Keigo, honey, why in the hell would you think that ?"
He eyed them skeptically over his shoulder, pausing his shuffling.
"Is that… not why you're here?"
They glanced at each other, eyes wide.
"Kei, baby-"
"Hawks, no-"
And he was confused again.
-
"So you're not banning me from taking the kid out on patrols with me?"
Keigo can't remember ever being this confused. Apparently he didn't do anything wrong and instead of yelling and locking him up they were… comforting(?) him?
Well, trying to.
"Birdie, no! no we were just worried!"
Rumi's ears were flattened against her head, fists squeezed tightly by her chest. They were in her apartment once again, this time joined by Best Jeanist. He sat in one of the seats on the side of the couch Keigo sat splat in the middle of, Rumi on the one to his right.
"We've noticed you've been off lately-"
"And with what the kid told Jeanist-"
"Wait," Keigo breathed, "just what did Bakugou tell you?"
Fuck- if he told them… oh, no. No, no, no, no.
"Well," Jeanist rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. "About last year's sports festival-"
"Oh, my god. And you believed him?"
"Kei, hun," Rumi deadpanned him, "don't even try that, you've tried it before and you failed. Horribly, I may add."
Jeanist glanced between them weirdly before speaking again, "what they did to Bakugou at the festival was not good , it was bad," He looked straight into his eyes as he said this.
Keigo groaned, "c'mon guys, I know it wasn't good, it was discipline . I know I'm fucked up, but I'm not that fucked."
Jeanist looked mildly shocked, Rumi on the other hand was bursting at the seams with unspoken words, but nonetheless he continued, pointedly;
"It was not discipline. It was wrong and hurtful. And it should have never happened in the first place. That is why we apologized, because it was wrong of them to do it and wrong for us who were watching to not step in."
Keigo wasn't sure he was hearing this right.
"What do you mean that's not discipline? That's exactly what it is!" He looked between the two, frantically almost. Because this couldn't have just been him that thought this, right!? "It's supposed to hurt, it's supposed to be painful. We're heroes for god sake, we can take shit like that," I can take it.
"We're not weak like other, average citizens." I'm not weak. "We can't be, if it hurts that means it's working."
Because if the two of them are right- that means all the shit he endured, not that he remembers much, though the phantom feel of it lingers, was for nothing.
Rumi looked like she wanted to hug him, which he very much did not like. He also did not particularly enjoy the pitying looks they both were giving him.
"Holy fuck, stop looking at me like that." He grumbled, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes.
"Keigo, honey, baby, birdie, that's… that's not-" She was at a loss for words, turning to her partner in crime for assistance.
Jeanist looked at the young hero on the sofa- barely even 22 and already full of so much hurt. So much suffering. How long had he felt like that? How often did he go through events resembling that of horror movies and people just turned a blind eye?
How often had he just turned a blind eye?
Jeanist remembers the hero younger than he is now, 18 and freshly an adult. So outwardly full of energy and ambition. How had he never caught the slight shadows in his golden eyes? How did the hollowed, dullness of them escape his impeccable perception?
Or did he just not care to look?
Every time the hero looked at him funny, going from being happy to see Jeanist to being disgusted by his mere presence. Every time Hawks would forget the simplest things- how often he would vanish for days .
Did he just never care to take a closer look?
Because now… now it's so blatantly obvious… so there.
"Hawks." One of Keigo's eyes snapped open, watching Jeanist in an almost bored way. "That's not how disciplining a child works. That's not how being a hero works either."
He took a deep breath before continuing. "It doesn't make a person weak for not wanting to be in pain, it doesn't mean they 'just can't take it', they shouldn't have to. Hero or not we are still people, and we feel things just the same as others do. We are not immune to things like pain, mental or physical. And we shouldn't be. Ever."
Keigo opened his mouth, then shut it again. What was he supposed to say to that? His heart thrummed loudly in his ears and he resisted the urge to squirm, every muscle, every instinct in his body telling him to escape.
They were waiting for him to say something. But what was he meant to respond with? None of his training prepared him for this.
"You're wrong." Is what he landed on, voice soft. He didn't look at them as he spoke, opting instead to trace faint cracks in the ceiling; "you're wrong because, because if you are right… if you are right that means everything I went through- everything they did- was in vain."
He feels… nothing. He feels numb. And he decides, fuck it, and continues.
"It means," he turns to gaze at Jeanist lazily. "At the end of the day they were right about me, and nothing they did could've changed that."
No one speaks again for a while. No one dared to break the silence that engulfs them, swallows them whole in one big gulp.
Five minutes pass. Ten. Fifteen, but no one is saying anything so Keigo drifts.
Twenty minutes have passed when someone speaks up.
"Mirko was telling me about something.."
"Hm?" He blinked up at the speaker, urging himself to surface once again.
"She said… she said that you've been having trouble with memory loss lately-"
"Lately?" He laughs, albeit without a single trace of humor. "Try my entire life."
He's still feeling numb, floaty even. Like a hot air balloon drifting through the sky as he dangles the rope for someone to catch it. They don't, and he's warm and foggy. So, why not?
"I have a feeling you're going to ask me what little I can actually remember, correct?"
Jeanist nods.
"Well," he shrugs, "its like I told her, I remember killing that villain guy and most things since then. That's it."
"You're parents?"
"Don't remember 'em," he grins cheekily, "and I'd like to keep it that way."
"What about other things?" Rumi asks.
"Like?"
"I don't know, just… things, don't you feel… disconnected?"
"Rumi, darling," he breathes. "I have never once felt connected to anything, never once had any sort of identity- what is there to miss when I don't even know it existed in the first place?"
" Wellll," he can hear the smile in her voice and the mood shifts. "If you ever wanna, you know where to find me~"
This kickstarts his brain and he flings to a seated position, narrowing his eyes at her, "fuck no!"
"Welp," she sighs dramatically, "I tried."
Jeanist blinks at them. "Am I missing something here?"
Rumi grins, wide and bright, reaching into her pocket,
"Rumi…" Keigo wants, but its too late as she yanks it out, palm flat out as she displays the abomination to Jeanist.
"Is that-" Keigo can hear the humor in his voice and groans in defeat.
"Yup!" Rumi says, popping the 'p'. "It's a yo-yo! I was thinking I could hypnotize him with it! Y'know?"
"The Wikipedia said watch buuuutt…. I dont have one of those."
"But you have a yo-yo?"
"I do." She seems proud of this fact. And Keigo would not at all be surprised if she was.
"I. Would. Rather. Die."
-
Okay… so maybe he was a bit harsh;
He didn't want to stoop this low… but after he almost lost to a villain after they triggered an unsavory a flashback- he was willing to do anything;
Facing the villain head on, this one was a bit stronger and took some effort. They were face to face, only a few inches apart as Keigo fought to get the blade closer when he spoke;
"Strayed a little too far from the nest this time, little birdie?"
It was only one small, simple little phrase- Kegio honestly wouldn't have thought anything of it… but it was the way he said it- full of grating malice and dripping venom.
It's just- he's heard that before-
-The boy had only been here a few weeks when the man was first introduced. His time here so far had been spent preparing for this man's appearance.
Keigo didn't know why the man was so important-
He's foggy and the villain has gained the upper hand-
-"C'mon little bird." The man cooed. Keigo shrunk further into his hiding place. This wasn't right- it was just a test. Yes, a test.
Then why did it hurt?-
A claw darts out, slashing across his cheek, blood gathering quickly and dripping down his face-
-"There you are." The boy is pulled roughly from the little nook he had managed to squeeze himself into. His little legs couldn't keep up and he found himself being dragged against the rough concrete.
Once in the center the man yanks him upwards by the wrist, a cruel smile scrawled in sharp, pointed lines.
"I was expecting… more from you, little one." Keigo whimpered at the tone of his voice, which only served to make the man grin more.-
-Keigo was getting tired. He was lagging behind, the villain dancing around him tauntingly. The waters were rising and it was dark out, and even with his night vision his sight was cloudy.
"I expected better from the number two!"
Kegio dropped to his knees, clutching at his skull-
-the man was relentless. Waiting for the boy to stagger to his feet, only to knock him down again.
Face bloody and body covered in various bruises and scratches Kegio fell, panting heavily. This time he didn't get back up.
"Aw," The man crooned. "Can't get back up and face me anymore? Too weak to do more than lay there like the pathetic little bird you are."
He leaned down to meet Keigo's eyes just before they closed;
"-strayed a little too far from our nest this time. Didn't we, little birdie?"
Something about the strange familiarity of that tone brought a shiver down his spine.-
-A few more seconds spent on his knees and Keigo would have been plastered all over the morning's news.
-
He didn't stop by his place to rest, instead he headed for Rumi's apartment on unsteady legs. He was only mostly sure they wouldn't hear him there.
She opens the door after a few frantic knocks. She doesn't question his disheveled appearance, ushering him inside and to the living room.
There she gently pushes him to sit, then disappears. She returns with a small first aid kit.
Rumi doesn't speak, and for that he is unbelievably grateful. She just cleans out the alarming number of cuts, wrapping the deeper one's in a secure layer of gauze.
Keigo can tell she wants to ask, see the way the words are swallowed in favor of making sure he's okay first. It's a strange concept to him. Not to say she's never vocalized her care for him, she has on many, many occasions. But maybe this time it was the quiet way in which she took time to patch him up. He had only ever done this himself, besides the sporadic healer here and there, of course.
He doesn't know what to say. Does he thank her? Does he just sit there and do nothing? Does he help?
Does he apologize? Is that what she wants? An apology, an explanation maybe? Both?
He opts for the former first.
"I'm-"
"Don't." Keigo suppresses a flinch at the sharpness of her voice. Rumi offers him a quick, reassuring glance.
Her voice is soft when she says, "if you're going to apologize, don't. Please don't, little one, you have not a thing to be sorry for."
"But I-"
She cuts him off again, but brings her attention back to a gash on his hand.
"All I care about is that you are okay. Alright? We can talk more in the morning, for now we need to patch you up and get you to sleep."
Keigo, for now, relents. There was no point in arguing with her right now, especially since he was the one who showed up half-dead on her doorstep.
After Rumi finishes dressing his wounds, they get ready for bed. He takes up residence on the same couch he nearly bled out on, snuggled into the far left corner so he can see every entrance point.
It's dark. He can hear the faint sounds of Rumi's steady breaths a few doors down the hallway. He tries to take comfort in it, but to no avail.
Eventually, though, his own breaths even out and he passes out a few hours after midnight. Anxious thoughts of the morning after lingering in the back of his mind.