Work Text:
“You’re sharp as cheddar.”
Yoongi looks up from the block of extra sharp cheddar cheese he’s holding. He’s met with the cheekiest of grins, heart shaped lips stretched over a pretty set of teeth. Yoongi blinks but doesn’t bother to say anything, continuing to ring up the rest of this guy’s order.
To be fair, Yoongi wasn’t exactly in the mood to entertain anyone tonight. He had been working so much this week and just desperately wished for a break, one that wasn’t only fifteen minutes long.
The bagger at the end of his line snickers and Yoongi makes a note to smack him upside his head later to train him to be polite and not annoying. Sadly, Yoongi doesn’t have faith that he’ll ever learn.
“Your total is twenty three eighty.” He mumbles, exhaustion rubbing his throat raw and scratchy. His eyes sting uncomfortably, screaming for rest, for sleep, for something other than an LED screen that doesn’t like his fingertips tapping at it all day.
The guy (with gorgeous hair, what the hell) hands over thirty dollars, smiling widely when their fingers brush. “Here you go.” He says as Yoongi double checks the amount handed to him. He’s been extra careful about his money, his total having been over twenty dollars than what he was supposed to have the other night. He’d rather not get in trouble with the big bossman. He needs this job thank you very much.
“Here’s your change, have a nice night.” Yoongi tacks on politely.
“You, too. Hopefully you’ll get some good rest soon. Thank you, guys.” He smiles and then the guy disappears, both from the store and from Yoongi’s mind.
“I like you a latte.”
Yoongi splutters to an embarrassing stop in his speech. He’s holding a bottled latte in one hand while trying (and failing quite miserably) to read off the same guy’s total.
That stupid bagger is silent for all of two seconds before doubling over and laughing his stupid ass off. Yoongi shoots him a nasty glare that the younger isn’t fazed by at all, much to Yoongi’s dismay. The customer isn't fazed either, smile still glued to his face.
“One ninety nine.” Yoongi says, too quiet for his pride to handle. He swears up and down and all around that he is not blushing. The attractive customer is still smiling sweetly, handing him two one dollar bills.
“Keep the penny.” He says, just as sweet and sticky as his smile. Yoongi nods, taking said penny out and setting it aside. He’s going to get a perfect drawer tonight damnit.
“Have a great day.” Mr. Smiley says before bounding out of the door. As Yoongi watches him go, he idly wonders if the guy even needs the liquid energy he just purchased.
Yoongi’s next customer, an older woman, smiles knowingly at him. If he wasn’t embarrassed before, he sure as hell is now.
He’s so flustered that he manages to mess up four times during the span of two transactions.
Yoongi caught sight of him the moment he stepped through the automatic doors. Jimin follows Yoongi’s gaze and the stupid smirk that siddles it’s way onto his stupid face makes Yoongi want to just die.
“Don’t you even say anything.” Yoongi spits out.
“But, Yoongi…”
“Don’t you do it.”
“But he likes you…”
“Don’t.”
“A latte.”
“God damnit, Jimin, I will actually end your life here and now. I have no qualms with going to jail over your murder.”
Jimin simply lets the weak threats float around him, unperturbed and still stupidly smiling. “I wonder what he’ll come up with today.”
“Don’t you have carts to go get or something?”
“Jungkook is doing it. He likes doing them because he gets to show off his strength.” Jimin sighs and shakes his head, as if he doesn’t like getting carts for that same exact reason. Yoongi doesn’t voice it, but he really thinks those two are too alike for their own good, but they still work well together.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” Yoongi says hastily, spotting Mr. Smiley making his way over from the produce section. He looks over at Namjoon who’s chilling at the service desk doing his job half-assed.
Before he can get the lazy bum’s attention, there’s an audible thump of an item hitting his belt and he knows he too damn late and so now he’s doomed to another weird pick up line.
Yoongi sighs when he sees Mr. Smiley. He reaches for the only item, a lone pineapple, and suddenly Yoongi can already guess what’s about to be said. He hurriedly states the total so he doesn’t have to go through the embarrassment of choking on his words.
“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”
“Fuck.” Jimin gasps out softly and Yoongi only wishes Seokjin was working tonight cause he’d ream the kid a new asshole for swearing in front of customers.
Yoongi holds in a groan as he sorts out his change. The man that had followed into the lane behind stifles a chuckle. As he hands over the change, he manages a smile, wishing him a nice night.
He isn’t able to face the next customer with a straight face.
“Taehyung, Yoongi has a secret admirer.” Jimin announces to the cashier in the lane behind Yoongi’s. The latter rolls his eyes, denying quickly and laying out the truth, because, first of all, the guy isn’t trying to hide it, and, second of all, he could be a real creep.
“You have an admirer that’s not secret, then, okay. That’s great news. You’ll have beautiful babies I’m sure.” Taehyung says, weaving a bracelet out of cilantro. Did he even buy that?
“No, Taehyung, just no. I don’t even have feelings for him.”
“You don’t have feelings at all.”
“Okay, that actually stung a bit, Jimin.”
Jimin pouts and comes over, rubbing a too warm and kind of sweaty hand on Yoongi’s stomach. “I’m sorry, I love my fluffy friend dearly.” Yoongi grimaces and yanks him into a headlock.
There’s a clearing of the throat behind him and he looks over to be met with Mr. Smiley, smiling away as he waits oh-so-patiently.
“Sorry ‘bout that.” He says, being as professional as a grocery store cashier can be.
As he’s ringing up his order, Yoongi’s waiting for the drop of today’s pickup line. He’s also a bit irritated because there are two other lines behind him that have no customers and he can hear Taehyung laughing at him.
“Know what’s on the menu tonight?”
Yoongi looks up as he continues swiping items over the scanner. “Excuse me?”
“Me ‘n you.”
Taehyung giggles, Jimin gawks, and Jungkook (when did he even get here?) gives them all a smug ass smirk.
“Uh…” He has literally been rendered speechless.
What can he even say to that?
He just stares at the guy like he’s chartreuse colored and has a second nose hanging out on his forehead. He’s aware of his growing line of customers (why are they all coming to his? Yoongi doesn’t understand humans), but he can’t seem to unfreeze.
The guy is standing there, unwavering and calmly staring back at Yoongi. He finally breaks the silence between them.
“I’m Hoseok by the way.” He says, all grins and crinkly eyes and Yoongi wants to ask if it’s alright for him to crawl into the ice bag freezer and die there.
“Oh, uh, hi.” Yoongi numbly responds, fingers returning to work as he goes through the motions.
“I’ll see you later, Yoongi.” He says when they finish. Yoongi flushes, because, wow, can he say his name again?
Yoongi gets teased for the rest of the damn night.
“Hello, Hoseok.” Yoongi greets, particularly tired as the store is filled with people today.
“Hi, Yoongi.”
Yoongi quickly rushes through Hoseok’s order, trying to finish up so he can move the long line along.
“Say, how do you like your eggs?” Hoseok asks, tearing his eyes away from the carton of eggs Jimin just placed into a bag.
“Fried.” Yoongi muses, not sure where this one is leading. But Hoseok is smiling widely again, pleased with his answer.
“Now I know what to make tomorrow morning.”
Yoongi flushes a deep burgundy color, dropping the change onto the floor. He fumbles trying to pick them up and after several attempts, he finally does. He doesn’t make eye contact with him as he hands it over.
“I’m just kidding. But you really are a cutie pie.” And Yoongi knows he bought a stupid pecan pie. This smartass. Yoongi’s bordering on plum colored cheeks, far to embarrassed to function through the rest of the day now.
“I’ll see you around, Yoongi.”
Yoongi’s next couple of customers are only slightly irritated that he kept them waiting.
“Do you have any raisins?” Hoseok asks as Yoongi picks up a box of frozen waffles.
He just got off of his shift and is picking up a few items before he makes his way home.
“Oh, yeah. They’re in aisle six.”
“Okay. How about a date?”
“Yeah, they-” Yoongi stops, mind catching up with the phrasing and the lack of plurality in Hoseok’s sentence. He’s being given this weird hopeful and innocent face. “A date?”
“Yeah.”
“With me?”
“Yeah.”
“With you?”
“No, my third cousin's nephew’s dog.” Hoseok smiles, blinding Yoongi until he’s seeing spots from looking too long. “Of course me, silly.”
“Oh. Right, okay. Yeah, I guess.”
“You guess?” Hoseok’s plump and red bottom lip droops out and he tilts his head, so Yoongi makes haste to correct himself.
“Of course. I would - uh - I’d like to go on a date with you.” Yoongi smiles sheepishly like the awkward being his is, scratching the back of his neck.
“Let’s exchange numbers then.” Hoseok digs out his phone and Yoongi doesn’t understand this.
How did he manage to woo someone over in his hideous unflattering work attire? And why is he okay with this?
“You scored a date with him?” Taehyung all but yells in the breakroom. He’s waiting for his shift to start and Yoongi had found him shoving two of the free cupcakes that are perched on the breakroom's table into his mouth. Jimin was there supervising even though he was supposed to be out in the front bagging. Yoongi himself is currently on his break.
“How?”
“A pickup line, of course.” Yoongi answers, simplicity at it’s best. Jimin shrugs, making a face like he should have known better.
“When did this happen?” Taehyung asks, wiping a smear of chocolate frosting off of his forehead.
“Last week, after my shift ended.”
“Why am I just now finding out?” Jimin screeches loudly. “Does that mean you also went on the date already, too?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow, Yoongi, how low of you. I’m your bro, we’re supposed to do bro things for each other but you just left me out to dry with the rest of you stinky crispy socks.” Jimin says, over exaggerating as per usual. Taehyung looks up at him with a ridiculous pout and a chocolate mustache.
“I thought I was your bro.”
“You are bro. You would never do anything like this to me.” Jimin cooes immediately, affectionately pulling Taehyung’s head over to rest on his stomach.
“I love you, bro.”
“I love you, too, bro.”
Yoongi continues eating his yogurt, because he’s so used to these two and their weird antics.
“So, wait, how did it go?”
Yoongi would be lying if he said he wasn’t dying to tell someone about it. Hopefully no one will ask, because surely his pride would make him a liar and that’s one thing he doesn’t want to be.
“It went great, I think. I mean, he ended it with a kiss, so there’s that. He’s a super nice guy,works at the restaurant down the street so that’s why he’s in here all the damn time. We went for dinner and meandered around the streets.”
Jimin lets out a huge dreamy sigh. “That’s so romantic, must be nice.”
“Ask Jungkook, I’m sure he’ll do that for you, too.”
Jimin blushes and leaves the room.
“What a cute tomato.” Taehyung pipes up.
“Rarely.”
“No, I meant, what a cute tomato.” Taehyung holds up a small perfectly spherical tomato.
“Oh. It is cute.”
Today is simply not Yoongi’s day. He went to bed the night before with horrible stomach pains. He spent an hour this morning almost crying from the sheer agony erupting in his abdomen. He thought for sure all he had to do was shit his brains out, but after making several trips to the bathroom, it clearly proved not to be the case.
He had voiced this to Hoseok over their daily morning phone call.
“That doesn’t sound good. Maybe you should call in today and go to the hospital.” Hoseok’s genuine concern poured through the phone and Yoongi felt as if the pain was alleviated just the slightest.
“I can’t call in now, they need me there. It’s only a four hour shift today. I think I can survive.”
Hoseok reluctantly let Yoongi win and have it his way. He promised to visit him shortly after his shift started and with that in mind, Yoongi got ready to leave.
Halfway there, he broke out into a nasty sweat, blistering heat crashing throughout his body. Upon arrival at the store, he practically dove for the free water provided in the fridge, downing one in a mere few seconds. He grabbed a second one before making his way over to the punch-in clock.
He caught Jimin giving him concerned looks as he wobbled to his register.
“You look seriously pale.” Jungkook said, actually showing concern on his normally stoic (chubbly) face.
“And you look seriously stupid.” Yoongi said, signing onto his draw number.
He chugged along fine, simply requesting for another water bottle at one point in time. Hoseok came in sooner than he expected, much to his very pleasant surprise.
Instead of his usual pickup line (even though they are dating at this point), he’s doesn’t say a word. His face shows too much concern and his eyebrows are all knitted with worry. Yoongi decides he doesn’t like that look on him. And he’s just about to say that when a wave of pain knocks him to the ground.
His eyes are wide as he clutches to the side of the register’s belt, legs crumpled underneath him. A customer behind him gasps and Hoseok shouts for some assistance and for someone to call an ambulance.
Yoongi wants to tell him that that’s too extreme, he just needs to maybe lay down for a while. But the pain is crippling, immobilizing speech and movement. So he just sits there, curled up in a ball, wishing for the incessant stabbing of pain to just go away.
The next thing he knows, his boss is lifting him from the ground and escorting him to the break room, away from the public eye, which he is grateful for. Sadly, Hoseok isn't allowed back there, so Yoongi feels awful for leaving him alone to suffer from worry.
His boss is rapidly firing off questions but Yoongi can’t answer with another roll of pain coming in hard and hot. He doubles over in the chair, groan slipping out long and broken.
He doesn’t know how long he waits, but there’s a stretcher in front of him and he’s being pushed onto it. He’s rolled right past Hoseok who undoubtedly has tears filling his eyes, probably already collecting in his collarbones.
The pain Yoongi feels as he looks at his devastated boyfriend puts that pain in his abdomen to shame.
It’s the next day when he finally gets to see Hoseok again.
He’s looks exhausted, face dipping and sinking from lack of sleep and worry eating him alive. He rushes to Yoongi’s side, landing a smack to his arm.
“Ow. Please don’t injure the patient.” Yoongi mumbles, pout on his lips.
“Only if you don’t ever do that to me again.”
“You know I can’t promise anything.”
Hoseok sighs and takes a seat next to his bed. “I told you to go to the hospital. Instead, you let your erupted appendix chill in your body.” He cards his fingers through Yoongi’s mess of hair, relief painting his features. “We’ve only been dating for three weeks. You still owe me a good eighty years. You can’t back out on me now.”
Yoongi smiles. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He yanks Hoseok down by the collar of his shirt, pressing his chapped lips onto Hoseok’s. When they pull apart, breathless and sated, Yoongi smirks.
“Hey.”
“What’s up?” Hoseok smiles lovingly, hovering close by his face still. Yoongi reaches up, running the tips of his fingers along the smooth expanse of Hoseok’s cheek.
“Are you an appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but the feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.”
Hoseok stares at his boyfriend, bedridden from his emergency surgery, making cracks at his own sickly body. And he realizes he just might be in love with this fool. He laughs, loud and infectious, perfect medicine that the doctor should always prescribe.
“I’m such a pun guy, right?” Yoongi asks, smile growing wider with Hoseok’s fits of laughter.
“I think that’s my line, copycat.” But Hoseok doesn’t care and pulls him in for another kiss anyway.