Chapter Text
Sometimes Inuyasha wondered if he was cursed. When he'd saved Kagome from the Jewel and kissed her, he was so happy. Seeing her reunited with her family again after such a traumatic experience made him feel at peace. But then the well began to glow and he was sucked back to his time.
He panicked when he found himself sitting on the hard ground of the well, looking up at the sky that was clearly from a world without all the noise and sensory overload Kagome came from. "No..." He gasped in horror. "No! No no no!!" When their three closest friends found him, Inuyasha was on all fours, furiously digging his claws into the dirt.
"Inuyasha?! What happened? Where's Kagome?!" He heard Shippo ask frantically. He sat on his knees and looked up with unreadable expression.
"She's not here." He whispered painfully. Sango gasped, her hands going up her mouth while Miroku looked away.
"N-not here?" The young fox demon asked in disbelief. Inuyasha jumped up and over them, landing with his back towards the group. "Then go get her back like you always do!"
"Shippo, that won't-" Miroku started to say until he saw the child's eyes swim with tears. Shippo leapt at Inuyasha.
"Get her back!" He cried, pulling at the red hakama. Inuyasha clenched and unclenched his fists and the other two were afraid of what was about to happen. But then Inuyasha reached down and picked Shippo up into his arms and held the boy against his chest. "Get her back!!" Shippo loudly sobbed repeatedly while slamming his tiny fists into the half demons shoulder.
"She's safe." Was all Inuyasha said in an almost inaudible voice. "Take Shippo, please..." Sango nodded and picked the small demon from his arms. She opened her mouth to ask if he was alright but realized that was a pointless question. "I need to be alone for awhile." He said before jumping away out of sight.
Sango flung herself into Miroku's arms as she wept with Shippo. The monk looked off in the distance where his friend had disappeared with dismay while silently wondering what the future will look like without Kagome in their lives.
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Inuyasha wasn't entirely sure how far he jumped or ran and didn't really care just then. His chest felt tight, he couldn't breath and there was an aching numbness. Finally he stopped just outside of a dense forest and into a large tree. It wasn't as comfortable as the Tree of Ages but it would have to do for now. He didn't want to be found and that was always the first place people looked.
Images played in his head on repeat. Her laugh, her smile, how her wavy, black hair looked when it was being tossled by the wind. Her voice when she said his name whether it was in happiness or anger, he didn't care. He just just wanted to hear it again.
The sudden realization that he might not see her again was so painful he couldn't even think it right now. Surly his life must be a curse or a cruel joke. Born a half demon, never knew his father, despised by everyone including the only family he had, his mother died then his first love as well but she wasn't allowed to find peace until it was in his arms and now... Now Kagome was gone too. Somehow this was more painful than anything else he'd experienced in his life. Would everyday be like this? Maybe he deserved it somehow.
Kagome was the first person besides his mother who truly loved him for who he was, never wanting him to change, no matter how cranky he was or what hurtful things he hurled at the few people closest to him. He touched his lips with his fingers, somehow still feeling how soft hers were against them, how wonderful her scent was and how euphoric yet natural it felt to kiss and hold her in his arms.
He'd been so happy in that moment, so of course the universe had to intervene and shatter it. When he found her in the black space of the Shikon Jewel, when he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, for a brief moment he could see it, a shimmering light of hope that maybe he could live the life that anyone would strive for. He'd lost focus and forgot he was a half demon and half breeds like him don't get happy endings.
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Some time passed and he wouldn't say his heart healed but it was a little less raw at least. Seeing Miroku and Sango marry was harder than he'd like to admit but they'd been so patient with him the least he could do was pretend for a few hours. He was going through the motions of course and everyone around him knew and understood it.
He didn't sleep much and when he did it was plagued by dreams of her. They felt so real he could almost take in her sweet, intoxicating scent. Until he would wake up to find she wasn't there and her scent was gone. There was only one thing that truly kept him going and that was the hope, no, the absolute certainty of her return, of the day he could feel her in his arms again. Every three days like clock work, they would find him patiently waiting at the bone eaters well.
To his surprise the men from the village came and said they were building a hut for him as thanks for defeating Naraku. He wanted to shout they were thanking the wrong person. He wasn't even sure why they decided on a hut in the first place. It was nice, he had to admit and a good size, but staying in it felt lonely and only served to remind him of what he didn't have.
As the seasons changed, Inuyasha felt himself slowly coming back to life. The ache ever present but now manageable. Shippo went off to learn to grow his fox magic powers while Miroku and Sango had their first children, a set of two twin girls named Kin'u and Gyokuto. Some thought the distance between himself and Kagome would slowly fade but his friends knew better. They knew the strength of the couples bond and feelings. Theirs was a relationship built on trust over a year of companionship.
As time swept foreward, Sango and Miroku were surprised by how well he handled the twins. When they started to crawl and walk they were obsessed with his ears. It was sometimes annoying but he could deal with it, as long they didn't pull too hard. Miroku and Sango welcomed a third child, a boy this time. He was happy for them, really, but the ache was still there.
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"Is it me or have you grown Inuyasha?" Shippo asked one day while visiting the village, perched on the edge of the well.
"Yeah it's called being alive, Shippo! People age!" Inuyasha quipped back but not with his usual bite.
"Well yeah that too but I meant on the inside. You don't hit me as much as you used to. Besides do half demons age slow like regular demons or like humans?" Inuyasha's response was a grunting sound.
"Keep talking and we can change that, runt. And my growth chart is none of your business." He muttered under his breath but again, it was an obvious empty threat.
"Oh yeah, Miroku and Sango want to you to come over for dinner tonight." Inuyasha made a quick 'Mm' noise to show he heard him. Neither talked for a bit before Shippo broke the silence. "I miss her..." He said said in a sad, quiet voice.
"Me too, kid. Me too." Inuyasha replied in a hushed tone.
Inuyasha did as his friends asked and joined them for dinner. Afterwards he found himself wandering until he was at his hut, which still felt weird to think about. He generally slept somewhere nearby until the weather turned cold or rainy but something pulled him to go into it tonight. Maybe it would be nice to pretend she was there, just this once. He sat himself against the wall at the back with Tetsaiga held in his lap as usual before falling into a deep sleep. Maybe he'll dream about her again.