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Weep for yourself, my man
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rain fell over the huge stone building the current Monarch stood in, fingers tracing Fundy’s journal where it sat displayed on a pedestal, A Spy’s Diary engraved deep in the leather cover. Drops from the roof landed within the puddles outside the doors, the smell of moisture permeating the air as the Ruler remembered what had been. Reflecting on the poor boy who had been through so much for causes he believed in only to have everyone turn their back on him.
Eret could relate a little too well to that parallel.
Niki had stood at their side a few months ago and mourned what had happened to the fox hybrid, recounting Wilbur showing up half-drowned on her doorstep telling her of his death. They had been quite busy since then placing the finishing touches on their Royal Archives and Foolish had been off completing his Summer Home. Enough time had passed that Eret had hoped maybe if they approached the boy now he would be more willing to listen, several weeks had passed since Wilbur’s departure.
Gods know they didn’t need a repeat of his father’s destruction driven mad by isolation.
The Ruler bothered Foolish everyday to check on his communicator for a death message but none ever came. Their shark totem partner was ever so patient with the Monarch these days, especially since their sight had finally failed them. Foolish stuck very close to their side now, choosing to move permanently into the castle to help with whatever they needed.
Eret felt anxious planning their next few steps but knew they wanted to follow through on that promise to a strong woman to bring Fundy home. They felt responsible for some of the torment the fox teenager went through, after all the Ruler was the cause of the loss of his first chance.
“What’s the plan today, Eret?” Foolish’s excited tone broke through their thoughts, making them jump a bit. “Oh sorry, didn’t realise you were deep in your own mind right now.”
“Just painful memories.” Foolish made a noise of acknowledgement and rested his strong hand on top of their thin one.
“You still carry so much doubt from events long in the past.”
“When those days were filled with bloodshed it stains your soul forevermore with decisions from the past.” They comment, lifting their hand to hold Foolish’s. “You remember how I mentioned going to find Fundy after we both finished our current projects?”
“Are you ready to do so?” They heard the apprehension in his voice. “This will be your first time leaving the main area of this world…”
Foolish trailed off so Eret helpful added. “Since I lost my sight, yes, but I have you to guide me and I don’t know if Fundy will hear you out. I want to talk to him.”
“Then I will be there every step of the way. How do you plan to track him down?”
“You are still on good terms with Philza, right?” Eret questioned, thinking of the blonde crow that lived to the North. “I think we will go and ask if we can borrow one of his crows to lead us to the fox boy.”
“Aren’t you on good terms with them?”
Eret hesitates, unsure of how to respond to that. “I’d like to think I am, especially after helping Techno and Tubbo save Michael but they are just so hard to judge.”
“Phil and I still regularly exchange letters still so it wouldn’t hurt to go ask.” Foolish offers, looping his muscled arm through their thin one. “Call it a trial run since I assume it has been months since you’ve been through the Nether and now you get to do it blind.”
“...I didn’t think about that.”
“Nope and now you have committed to this.” Foolish begins to pull them away as they sputter. “No backing out now, come on!”
Foolish helps them strap on their gear as they walk towards the main hub, Eret’s apprehension being at war with the determination to see this quest through. Blue eyes below copper red hair living at the forefront of their mind, heart breaking in those ocean depths as one by one, he was left alone by those who should have stuck to his side.
Eret couldn’t help but find more and more similarities between themself and Fundy the longer they pondered on it.
Surprisingly the trip through the lands of lava and hot red mineral went well, Foolish kept them safe with his trusty trident. Eret’s preferred weapon of a bow was somewhat useless now, as much as Foolish coached them they were slow to pick up other self defence methods. They had some proficiency with a sword now but it had been a long process, their questionable coordination had gotten worse as they adjusted to moving through nothingness.
The drastic change from sweating heat to shivering cold always caught them off guard, teeth chattering as they loop their arm through Foolish’s as the pair arrived in the Arctic. It was a necessity in unfamiliar environments like this one as the totem led them to the cottages nestled in the great boughs of huge spruce trees. Out of all the biomes this one felt the most cosy with the scent of the evergreen trunks they walked beneath, snow softly falling on their cheeks.
Letting a small giggle out, they hear Foolish join before he asks softly. “What are you laughing at?”
They speak in a whimsical tone remembering what had been. “When we first founded L’Manburg there was this huge snowstorm like four days after we declared independence. Everyone was shivering away in the single structure that had been constructed. It was this freak weather event out of nowhere, I remember us all bundled up there wondering what the hell we were doing next.”
Their deep tone falls as they see the scene play out before them. “Fundy was a toddler, running around and giggling his head off at the snow falling outside. He asked repeatedly to go outside which was refused until he demanded a snowball fight, all of us just gave in then and followed him outdoors. Turns out, doing a bunch of exercise warms you right back up and motivates the mind, something disguised as play reminded me of finding wonder in each day since.”
Holding out their free hand they let a few flakes fall into their palm, a small smile on their lips. “He was always such an inquisitive boy who made sure to have fun each day, I can only hope he is okay.”
“We will make sure he is.” Foolish promises, slowing their pace a little and dropping his voice more. “Nearly there, coming up on the stairs up to the porch.”
Releasing his hold he guides a thin hand to the railing, letting them climb first before joining the Ruler. They walked off to the right to the door of the crow, Foolish knocking as Eret nervously brushed their clothes.
The door swung open, a blast of warm air smelling of fresh burning spruce wood washed over the pair. “Good afternoon, you two!”
The avian sounded pleased to meet them, some of the tension releasing in Eret’s chest. Which tightened back up the moment the door behind them swung open and they felt Foolish turn in that direction. The being drew their cape closer as they took a step back to where he assumed the piglin was.
Eret cleared their throat, assuming who had just appeared. “Hello gentlemen, we come in peace.”
“Rather far from the castle aren’t you?” Techno offhandedly comments and closes his own door as he joins them on the deck, his voice warming with the next sentence. “It is good to see you both, especially you Eret.”
The Ruler felt their anxieties melt away then, turning their head where the piglin was. “It is wonderful to hear you are doing well! I was hoping to ask a favour of you and Phil?”
“Go on, mate.” Phil replied, joining the other three outside.
The deck was cramped now with all individuals gathered, they carefully debated how to ask it before continuing. “I made a promise to Niki that we would go check on Fundy and try to convince him to move home once more. If we could borrow one of your crows to lead us to him?”
“I don’t see why not.” Phil sounds happy to say, mumbling in an ancient language before Eret feels a bird perch on their elegant shoulder. “Just tell him where you need him to go and he will take you, may the Death Goddess be with you.”
“Do you have enough supplies for the journey?” Techno fretted, Eret letting a smile creep across their face at the piglin’s worry.
“I believe we do.”
“No, no you don’t. One moment.” The piglin disagreed, a door opening and shutting once more as Phil chuckled.
“He always does this when he cares.” Phil says with adoration, Eret could hear the smile in his voice.
Foolish just sounds like he is scowling, commenting. “I never have enough by his standards.”
“Just let him worry about you. It’s how he shows affection.”
They spend a few more moments making small talk on the deck before the piglin returns, pressing a heavy bag into the Monarch’s hands. Eret takes a moment to pass it to Foolish to organise, bowing their head to Techno.
“Thank you, kind one.”
“Ah, it’s nothing.” Techno grumbles, patting their shoulder. “Let us know through the crow when you are home.”
“Anytime you need us, we are there.” Phil promises, sincerity ringing through his odd accent. “Feel free to just send a communicator message if you need anything else.”
“Or I mean you could come visit.” Techno sounded hesitant, before following up quickly. “Not that I want to see you every damn day. Just every once in a while.”
Eret faces him and gives him a wide grin, insides warming like a cosy fire at the piglin’s words. “Sounds good to me, dear friend. We should probably go though, ready Foolish?”
“Thanks again for the crow!” Foolish says to Phil, Eret letting the railing take them back to the stairs.
They get a few paces before the crow avian calls out. “Safe travels, young ones!”
“I am not young.” Foolish pouts, Eret giving a giggle.
“To immortal ones like them? We will all be only children to them, blinks in a lifetime spanning thousands of realms.” Eret replies, before turning to the shoulder the crow rested on. “Take us to Fundy?”
The avian gave a caw before launching itself into the air, away from Eret’s perception. Foolish took the lead then, leading them off into the trees to begin their adventure to bring Fundy home. They were filled with apprehension, excitement and worry, hoping what they found was someone willing to open their heart once more after being broken by this chaotic server repeatedly.
Eret only hoped the fox would listen.
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
And waste it on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
It had been two days since they set off from the Arctic, venturing far off the beaten path following the crow. The enchanted bird would rest and sleep when they did, but required no water or food to survive. Eret knew some of the lore surrounding these creatures; moulded by the Death Goddess herself they were used as messengers or trackers when the Blood God and Angel of Death required them.
Foolish himself was also a direct descendant of the Death Goddess but had different abilities to the ones the other ageless beings had. Aeons ago Eret and Foolish had met because the shark demigod rescued them from a Wither Cult, the Goddess blessed Eret to save them from the Wither effects. They spent moons together infiltrating evil causes to bring them down from the inside, Themis and their Undying Totem had quite the lore surrounding them before one day, it was just the Totem.
According to the shark; Eret and Foolish had fought and Eret set off their own and the partners never saw each other again. Foolish heard that his Themis had died to some unknown cause, unable to track them down he eventually believed it to be true and stopped searching.
Since their separation Eret had managed to lose their memories and the effects of the Goddess’s blessing with their vision failing now. It was never a sure solution; the effects that ravaged them from being too close to those phantoms were held off temporarily, She had warned. Foolish happened to end up in this server and was floored by the fact they still lived yet had no prior knowledge of ever meeting them nor the hundreds of years of experiences between them.
On nights like these when the air was cool and the songs of night sang through their head, Eret wondered about previous times. They had spent hours questioning Foolish about the past they didn’t know, much preferring that version over who they were in this world currently. Though forgiveness had been given by a lot of parties, they still worried it would never be enough.
Foolish snored loudly from where he was inside his sleeping bag across the firepit they used to warm themselves. Sleepless nights were becoming more familiar to the Monarch, their paranoid mind listening for danger while they worried about everything. A lot of ties had been mended recently with endless amounts of tough conversations, but Eret still had no idea what they would be walking into here.
Fundy hadn’t spoken with anyone for months, Eret’s concerns only grew remembering hearing the depths his father went too. Goddess knows the boy was hardly like him, a lot more trusting of his friends and the fox’s instincts. Until the world had taken that and shattered it in front of him again and again until he became jaded and sad.
Their hands clenched in one another; watching the walls going up around Fundy’s heart they ached for him, developing a prickly exterior that drove away everyone close. Then Wilbur had shown up and that was enough for him, choosing to end his life so he could leave his father’s side back to his respawn point. Where Fundy had remained for moons, isolated.
The Ruler could understand the sentiment, distance preferable to the sharp judgement in the eyes of those your soul still cries out for. Eret felt the same pained determination to help the boy strengthen their resolve, pulling them from the spiral.
It was going to be a tough conversation they were having shortly with the hurting fox, but even if they had to stay there for months, eventually they would convince him home. Now that Wilbur was gone he wouldn’t risk running into him again, hoping that was enough the Monarch lay back down in their sleeping bag. Thinking of the things they could plan in the future now that the disorder had calmed down for a bit, swearing to themselves to do a better job of protecting the hybrid going forward.
Closing their eyes, they sent a prayer to the Death Goddess that Fundy would agree before letting sleep take them finally.
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my
Tremble for yourself, my man
You know that you have seen this all before
“The crow is slowing down.” Foolish observed, tightening his grip on their hand.
“Corbin is slowing down, you mean.” Eret gently corrected, laughing when they heard Foolish grunt.
“It’s literally a magical manifestation, not a sentient being. There is no way to attach a name to it.” Foolish grumbled, slowing his pace.
“I think Corbin is a lovely name.” Eret replies, Foolish suddenly stopping.
“Do not move.” A voice they hadn’t heard for months, Eret wanted to just reach out and hold the fox.
Releasing Foolish’s grips they hold their hands up. “We didn’t come here to hurt you.”
They listened as the fox shuffled his feet, hissing out. “Then why the fuck are you here?”
“To talk to you.” Eret implored, dropping their voice lower. “Nothing else on our minds, I swear.”
“Why should I trust you?”
Eret’s chest ached at the sheer suspicion cutting through his lovely accented tone, bringing their hands together in front of their chest with palms pressed together. “Whatever you want me to vow, I will. My crown? It’s yours if I am lying. My very life can be threatened if you prefer, anything to make you believe we did not come here with intentions to hurt you.”
“Okay, I think offering your death is a bit much.” Foolish comments, ever protective.
“I took away one of his, it would really only be fair that he is entitled to one of mine.” Eret counters, before being surprised by a small chuckle from Fundy.
“Fine, I will listen. You have until sundown to speak before you will be leaving my part of the server to never return.”
Eret felt their worry grow they wouldn’t be able to convince him, squashing it down by reminding themself they have to for Niki. “Until sunset then. Show us in?”
Foolish took their hand once more walking forward, Eret letting him lead them into the camp. The shark’s palms were sweaty, the Monarch clearly wasn’t the only one anxious right now. Still, Foolish cleared his throat to converse with Fundy.
“Lovely place you have here.” Foolish complimented, the fox giving a small hum of agreement. “I love the house designs, you have clearly spent a lot of time on them.”
Fundy finally responds to that and they trade some more comments about the surroundings, Eret trying to picture what was described. Soon they are out of the hot sun into the cool shade, Foolish helping them sit on a wooden bench before settling beside them. Eret smooths their shirt before speaking, working the tangles from their hair as it had been windy all day while they journeyed.
“How have you been?” They inquired, keeping their voice light.
“I am much better now that I am far away from him. ” Fundy spat out, Eret listening as he sat down across from them after closing the door of the building they now resided in. “The fucking nerve of him, just showing up in Pogtopia and acting like nothing was wrong. After all he did, that bastard swept right past it.”
“He came to see me too.” Eret winced, the yelling from that day echoing through their thoughts. “Wilbur left, Fundy.”
“How dare he just…what?” Fundy kept rambling before catching onto what the Ruler said. “What do you mean Wilbur left?”
“He’s gone, Fundy.” Eret choked up a bit, through all the strife he caused Eret still missed the bright eyed brunette who would do anything to make his friends smile. “He came to see me before he left, giving me a book containing some thoughtful words before saying that he was leaving forever. Tommy came to see me a few weeks ago and confirmed it, apparently he just rowed out to the ocean and some weird event happened, before Tommy knew what was happening he had disappeared. No one has seen him since, I do think he is truly gone.”
The silence grows after that, Fundy’s voice now sad too as he spoke next. “He’s really just gone?”
Eret hears his clothing rustle as the fox fidgets and hesitantly holds out their arms to the young man. “I am so sorry, Fundy.”
Seconds pass and just as Eret is about to drop the offered embrace the boy crawls his way across into those long arms. That seems to be the straw that broke the camel's back, the moment Fundy was being held he began to cry.
“Oh sweetheart.” Eret soothes, rubbing his back. “I know.”
“I had so much I wanted to say to him.” Fundy’s voice was muffled against their collarbone. “He really just up and left? I didn’t think he was being serious.”
“Sometimes people need to just let go, Fundy.” Eret felt those words to their core, knowing Foolish would parrot them back later when the Ruler needed a reminder. Preacher to the choir and all that. “In his eyes he didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore and just wanted to go home which is somewhere far away from here. He said all he wanted too and just told us all goodbye.”
Some moments pass of Eret holding Fundy before he pulls back, the Ruler letting him sit back. “Did you come all the way here just to tell me that?”
Eret shook their head, taking a moment to prepare the question. “Not just that, I wanted to offer a place in my home for you to come back to be around us again. I have missed you, Fundy.”
During these times Eret missed their sight the most, unable to read his expressions as he considered it. “But there is so much chaos around there, I don’t want to return to being thrust in the middle of a battle for life and death again.”
“As far as I know, there is nothing like that happening currently.” Foolish replied, offering a chuckle as Eret continued.
“I don’t want you to come home to danger, I want you to come home so you're not alone out here anymore.” Their voice softened as they spoke the next part. “I want to help you, if that involves shielding you from everything, fine. You can even have one of the rooms in my castle if you want or Niki has spoken about letting you move into her hidden city.”
“I know being alone is easier, far from everything that hurts or turns their backs on you, but it’s not good to spend so much time isolated. I worry about you, Fundy.”
“You better at least consider this so I stop hearing it from Eret like a broken record of how much they worry about you.” Foolish demands, pink raising to Eret’s cheeks at him just throwing them under the bus.
“You really want me home that badly?” Fundy sounded so vulnerable, Eret held their hands out palms up to them.
“Anything to convince you back to safety to be around others again.”
“...fine.” Fundy said quietly, taking one of Eret’s hands. “But you will have to give me a bit of time to pack.”
Tremble Little Lion Man
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother
Or else spend your days biting your own neck
A week passed since that day, Foolish and Eret pitching in to help Fundy clean up his settlement and deciding what to bring with them. Many things were shoved in any free inventory space before they stood by the camp gates. Fundy stood there for a few moments before turning to lead them away, towards the direction they had come from.
The fox asked early into their week together why they had a crow following them around, when Foolish told him it was one of Philza's, the boy grew more secluded. He still led them back to the main part of the server, during that time Eret got the feeling he really didn’t trust the crow.
When they arrived at their castle Eret sent the crow off to tell the Emerald Duo of their safe return with plans to come visit soon. Foolish sent a message to Niki who responded enthusiastically when he told her Fundy had come home. Holding her off from visiting almost felt cruel but they wanted to give the redheaded man a few days to settle in before springing a reunion on him.
One night as they were finishing their last couple chores, Fundy offered to help out more around the castle while he stayed in a guest room. There was a loud knock on the door; Foolish got up to answer it before almost being bowled over by a sweet presence, her musical voice scolding.
“You have been back for how long and haven’t set a day for me to come over so I chose now.” She tossed directly at Eret before they listened to her whirl on Fundy. “Now, come give me a hug. I missed you!”
Fundy accepted with an ‘oof’ as she wrapped him up tight, Foolish taking her basket of baked goods so she could hug the fox tighter. “Don’t ever do that again.”
“What, leave?”
“Yes leave, you idiot. Too many of my friends have now, I don’t want to add you to that list.” Her voice sounded strained at that, clearly thinking about another brunette that once had brought them all so close together.
“I won’t Niki.” Fundy sounded the tiniest bit happy, nudging Eret’s side with his pointy elbow. “This one convinced me to come home and I had to listen, our Ruler can be very persuasive.”
“Oh, they absolutely can.” Niki came up to hug Eret, dropping her voice so only they could hear. “Thank you.”
She releases them before stepping back, Fundy’s laugh echoing. “You all were so worried for me?”
“I know what it’s like to be alone.” Eret said in a serious tone, continuing. “I didn’t want that to be your forever. You deserve to be around those who care about you, not far away with only your own thoughts. I don’t care if you never do another chore again, I just want my friends to be close.”
“Guys…” Fundy trails off, feet shuffling before his words fill the room once more. “I don’t know what to say. I have spent so long being cut off from everyone, sometimes by my own choices, I have no clue how to even put into words my feelings from the past several months. A certain father of mine would have no trouble, some eloquent speech that tugged at your heartstrings while making you laugh.”
“Wil always had such a gift with words, didn’t he?” Niki reminisced.
“He could weave a tale of grandeur or choose to make you believe whatever he wanted with that silver tongue.” Fundy’s voice cracked. “Or he could make you feel like the scum on the bottom of a shoe, forgotten by everyone.”
“Wilbur was certainly something.” Eret felt a tear trail down their cheek, reaching up to wipe it off. “He left a huge fucking mark on all of us.”
“For better or for worse it seems.” Niki comments then reaches out for one of Eret’s hands. “Let’s not think about it anymore for now. I am just grateful you brought our fox home and I brought his favourite gingersnap cookies if Foolish wants to get us hot chocolate?”
“Always the errand boy.” Foolish teases before leaving to do just that as they move to the sitting room they were just cleaning.
Small talk is exchanged before Foolish returns, bringing the mugs two at a time, stoking a fire in the grand stone fireplace before coming back to Eret’s side. The Monarch listened as Fundy and Niki sat by each other on the other couch, drawing a blanket around themselves. They sip their mug a few times before the silence is broken, the only sound for a while the cracking wood.
“Now what?” Fundy asks and Eret waves it off.
“I think we have all had enough excitement for several lifetimes, let’s lay low for a few weeks before getting out to see others again. As I said, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need, forever even.”
“Or my hidden city is known only to a few souls, if you didn’t want to be bothered or for it to be known you came back you can come live with me for a while.” Niki offers, her voice welcoming. “I promise to only recruit you sometimes for baking but I can do the deliveries, it would be nice to have an extra hand for preparation.”
“You don’t want any compensation or anything?”
“Your help with the production is all I could ever ask for.” Niki confirmed. “I will also use you as a test subject for my baking experiments.”
“That is a tempting offer.” Fundy playfully comments, some mirth returning to his voice before sighing. “How long can I stay?”
“Same as Eret’s offer, forever if needed. Hell, you could divide your time between here and there, I honestly don’t care.” A smile rings through as she replies. “I am just glad to be back within the same hundred blocks as you.”
“Me too.” Fundy said.
The next few hours passed quickly as all four caught up, before Foolish was the first to retire to his rooms. Followed by Fundy shortly after, soon it was just Niki and Eret left awake. She had since gotten up and moved to the Ruler’s side, bringing the warm blanket for them to snuggle beneath. Eret felt their worries release their clamped hands knowing the ones they cared about were safe, happy the fox listened to them.
Quiet snores told the Monarch the strong woman had fallen asleep, they drew the blanket up tighter around her as they settled back into the couch. Sure, their neck would hurt in the morning but it was worth it. They were too lazy to wake Niki again and the fire lulled them into a tired state as it died down.
Holding the small woman closer, Eret fell asleep that night lighter than they had been in years. Expecting more of a fight with Fundy they were surprised at how easily he listened, having him nearby helped shut the guilt up about years old choices now. Their last thoughts before the sandman took them away were happy memories that no longer caused a stab of pain; seeing the green fields of L’Manburg where they chased the young boy around. Niki and Wilbur laughed in the background while Tommy and Tubbo schemed; simpler and wonderful times.
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line