Work Text:
The door slammed loud and rose up a cloud of dust on us
Footsteps follow down through the hollow sound, torn up
And you will go to Mykonos
With a vision of a gentle coast
And a sun to maybe dissipate
Shadows of the mess you made
A newly minted Ruler strode down a path of oak, on their way to pick up treats from one of the last friends they had on this server. The golden crown shone brilliantly under that bright sunny sky, the sky clear except for a few clouds that appeared to be painted into their blue depths. Their rose-red cape billowed behind them, a long pitch black skirt blowing in the breeze as they walked. A green emerald glinted where it hung from their right earlobe, glimpses between the chestnut curls that blew free brushing their elegant collarbones.
Eret had many thoughts on their mind today, happy they hadn’t run into anyone else on this trip to Niki’s bakery. She had messaged them through their communicator that it was ready, Eret bored of pacing those huge hallowed halls of their castle jumped at the chance to leave. Not that they didn’t love their home, too many ghosts haunted though the mortar that was not yet dry. When left alone for too long they could swear their guilt whispers terrible things of their own violation, a chance to see a friend was a good break from their spiraling.
Eret kicks a small pebble from the path, trying to not let the memories overwhelm them of when they were welcomed within L’Manburg’s borders. It had been mere days since their betrayal for the crown that encircled their temples, yet everyday it seemed heavier with the sorrows of those they hurt.
Blinking, they looked back to where they were heading, heart growing warm upon seeing Niki’s bakery with its windows open. As they drew closer the delicious smell of fresh bread and decadent sweets surrounded them, they stopped just short of being able to hear inside as they heard a deep voice and a musical one laughing.
Eret’s heart seized the moment they recognised Wilbur’s chuckle, chest tightening in a vise grip. Those chocolate eyes wide with horror as Eret stands behind a charging Dream. Letting the man execute his fellow countrymen one by one as the emerald-eyed man kept the First President alive to watch. Mocking him as he smiled that sadistic grin before slitting Wilbur’s throat when everyone else had been murdered.
They remember how the crimson looked slipping down the water basin as they scrubbed their hands raw, due to the arterial spray it had landed directly on the Monarch. They remember taking those clothes outside and burning them, tears running down their face thinking of what they had agreed too.
That emerald gaze flashing with triumph as they placed that cursed golden crown on their head, wondering if it was worth it. Clearly, they hadn’t given up their fight for freedom and now that Eret was on the other side of their war. Watching from the outside as they raised their swords in unity for a nation they had once counted themselves among.
Their focus came back with their right hand pressed against a slender chest, gasping. Every transgression performed its terrible play within their mind’s eye, constantly. Night or day, asleep or awake, their thoughts jumped on a one way train until they were exhausted.
Speaking of the one they missed their friendship with the most, Wilbur walked out the door with a few white boxes. Chocolate eyes met their pearl white behind black panes of glass, their tongue felt stuck as no words came to their lips.
They watched the brunette’s expression sour from the joy he had before seeing Eret, leaving without a backward glance and not bothering to hold the door. It slammed shut with a rattling of the windows, the wind applying more force than the angry man.
Eret nearly jumped out of their body at the loud noise, sensations creeping across their skin as their thoughts sped up. Deciding they would rather be inside they quickly open the door and close it more gently after entering, meeting Niki’s shocked caramel eyes.
Eret’s filled with tears upon seeing the sympathetic face of a friend, with no further words Niki came out from behind her counter. Offering an embrace, Eret collapses into her arms.
Only letting them go to flip the sign to closed, she pulls them into the back of her bakery and lets them cry. The woman was still a part of the nation they became a traitor for but was such a kind soul, they still spoke even as the others cut them off. The blonde woman held them long into the evening then night, finally making up the couch for them to stay over.
Eret barely spoke that entire time, each time they tried everything would come rushing back and they found themselves sobbing until their throat ached. The outside world had become too much, skin feeling too tight to thin bones that would be less agony to break than the suppressing sadness that ripped through their thoughts with vindictive glee. Niki gave them a grounding point and empathy, doing her best to comfort the mourning Ruler.
They had won the crown, but it had been at the cost of their heart.
Pallid animals in the snow-tipped pines I find
Hatching from the seed of your thin mind all night
And you will go to Mykonos
With a vision of a gentle coast
And a sun to maybe dissipate
Shadows of the mess you made
It had been a long day yet the Monarch couldn’t sleep, wide awake as they stood staring at the obsidian grid overgrown with ivy above the pit that once was L’Manburg. The sun set over the horizon as they clutched a bottle, their soul demanding reflection today with a liquid depressant in hand. Not that they needed anything else to help the mood they found themselves in, but as they did each time they needed to just let things go, they came here.
To the place of their greatest regret.
Taking a deep breath, they move to take a step off the path to find the semi-hidden one to the waterpool at the bottom before spotting a tall man coming quickly towards them. Brown curls stuffed under a red beanie, Wilbur muttered to himself as he walked. Catching Eret’s cautious look as they spotted him, he stopped for a moment.
A few expressions cycled across his face while he looked down to see the wine they held, considering something for a moment before coming closer to them.
Eret swallows, hoping with everything this offer won’t be refused. Not wanting to reminisce alone, they wonder if the man would join them in their semi-regular visit. “Good evening, Wilbur.”
Wilbur’s face doesn’t quite light up like it used to upon seeing them, early days of their country’s formation flashing to mind when they saw happiness when they spoke. Now he seemed hesitant, stopping before them. “Greetings Eret, off to a party?”
A warm teasing tone sounded through his voice, one white curl falling down his forehead above his crinkled eyes. A hint of worry hid behind that liquid chocolate gaze but he seemed to be in a pleasant mood.
The Ruler laughs, holding the wine up for Wilbur’s viewing. “A party for one if you can believe it.”
“That’s a rather lonely concept.” Wilbur comments, peering at the label in the low evening light.
His reply stung, Eret tried not to let it dig too deeply as they tried to joke. “I am rather used to it. Just me and my bottle of wine, we will spend a lovely night together.”
“Feel up to adding another to that party for one?” An olive branch Eret never expected, they latched onto it internally while pretending to think about it.
“That defeats the purpose of for one I think.”
“Oh shut up, you have one of my favourite red wines. I am now craving it because you have flaunted it to me.”
Chuckling, Eret finds a real smile as they look at the one they once called a brother. “Maybe just this once.”
They lead the tall man once they find their path, hidden behind a tree that was once just a small sapling. Low lanterns burned in the tunnel as they descended deep into the earth, emerging on the shore of the pond hidden beneath that grid of destruction. The obsidian had once been used for wide-spread devastation now hung peacefully in the air, greenery spotted all over that impossible material.
For some reason, the flag Philza had built hit a little harder tonight, rising up from the calm waters where their nation once stood.
Before being blown to smithereens again over the sake of power. Power struggles caused way too many deaths on this server, they thought bitterly.
Drawing a blanket from their inventory they lay it on the grass in the dimming light, just then noticing Wilbur stood staring at the same flag that caused them pain.
Once a symbol for a nation, now a memorial to ideals once screamed in pride.
Water laps at the shore they have sat down near, the night song of crickets slowly starting around them along with the calm rushes of blue. The former President stands for a few moments more, his thoughts clearly a million miles away before he shakes his head a bit, turning to where Eret had settled.
They pat the blanket near them, the brunette sitting cautiously. Neither of them seemed to want to break the silence before Wilbur gestures at the bottle, speaking quietly. “So do you have glasses for us?”
In response, they twist the top and take a long swig of the bottle before handing it over. “As I said, this is usually a private affair and why carry more than I have too.”
A small chuckle is their reply before Wilbur follows suit, placing it carefully between them where Eret screws the lid back on for now. He pats his coat above a few pockets before locating his box of smokes, hesitating briefly while they look at the Ruler.
“Do you mind?”
Eret waves for him to go ahead, staring at the golden stars ahead as they slowly blink into sight through those black squares of the grid. They listen as he flicks the lighter before taking a deep breath, flipping the lighter between fingers as moments pass.
Returning their gaze to that void above, they observe the stars more for a few more moments before heaving a sigh, eyes welling up. Moving to take another drink they let the warmth slide down their throat before offering it to Wilbur once more, gazing at the balls of fire in the endless black.
“I take it you come here often, then?” Wilbur comments softly, following their gaze.
“It’s hard to beat this view while I think over everything that's bothering me.” They hear the rueful tone as they reply.
Pictures of days bygone flow ever faster while they think about that destroyer of land above, now peaceful since its purpose passed.
What would have happened if this country had worked their terms out without bloodshed? Would it still be smashed into a permanent cavern they now sat at the bottom of never to be rebuilt again? If they had never consented and led Dream directly to their accomplices, would they still sit here at the bottom of their biggest failure?
Rotting struts of fallen structures litter the crater’s stone walls, caves exposed here and there in that deep pit of demolition. Eret’s mind remembers all the iterations of L’Manburg, wishing they had a talent for sketching so they could immortalise what was in the recesses of their mind. A few more artistically gifted had offered over the years to attempt with their descriptions but the details were never quite right.
“What are you thinking about right now?” Wilbur was unusually inquisitive tonight, Eret wasn’t sure if the alcohol had already begun to kick in but he was rarely so willing to talk to the Ruler.
“Impossible what-ifs that will never come to pass.” They said mysteriously, voice falling as they moved to take the wine back from the brunette.
“I think about those all the time.” Wilbur starts saying, his voice falling quiet while he gets lost in his own mind. Eret takes another sip, waiting for him to come back then he continues. “Was it all worth it? Did we accomplish anything with our actions?”
Eret wasn’t sure how he had just spoken their own thoughts aloud but they let them roll through their own for a bit before forming their own response. “I don’t know if I will ever know the answer for those questions myself, I see the remains of the choices we both have made and think improbable things.”
Wilbur takes the alcohol back and takes a longer drink than before, both returning their gazes to the heavens above. Eret feels a slight buzz down their limbs as they look at those bodies of lights gathered in constellations, remembering the scrolls they were reading earlier.
“Sometimes the player created a small, private world that was soft and warm and simple. Sometimes hard, and cold, and complicated. Sometimes it built a model of the universe in its head; flecks of energy, moving through vast empty spaces. Sometimes it called those flecks "electrons" and "protons". Sometimes it called them "planets" and "stars".”
Their deep voice recited to a confused man before they offered a small smile, losing the recanting voice as they explained. “Sam came across these old scrolls on his adventures and donated them to me. They had this most intriguing passage of writing on it with beautiful words and I was reading it earlier today when the thoughts came crashing in.”
They pointed to the specks of light above, not sure why they were rambling their interest in the stars and old tomes to Wilbur. They paused before he nodded them to continue, taking another drink. Their bottle was almost half done now, both sufficiently feeling the beginnings of stupor. Perfect time to get into deep discussions.
“Ages ago when I started building my museum I put out calls for any objects found on travels to possibly be donated to the place I was building. Hundreds of volumes, scrolls and maps have been given since then, containing all of the most wild knowledge.” Waving an open palm to the sky high above, they continued in an excited and awed tone. “They spoke of the most impossible things, that us human beings were made of stardust, similar to the galaxies above. That ages ago, pieces crashed into the world and those flecks became part of our very creation.”
Still not sure where this was going, they let their drunken mind continue on this path of fixations. “I believe we can ask ourselves all the questions we want about the actions we have done here and now, but that doesn’t change that one day we will be feeding the ground beneath us with our death. Returning our parts to the universe itself to recycle into new souls and life, all that matters is the histories we preserve for others to tell our stories. Passing the knowledge onto future generations for the good of our race, learning from mistakes of the past and carrying those ideas forward.”
“Do you believe you are leaving behind a good legacy?” Wilbur questions, Eret offering a sharp laugh before letting the tear fall as they dropped their gaze to the flag ahead of them. Tones of deep blue, white, red and gold they remembered when that fabric didn’t come with skeletons parading it.
“I think history will paint us both as traitors.” They said with a bitter tone, shaking their head slowly. “Not that I don’t see why, I just want to do my best to improve that picture before the breath leaves my lungs for the last time.”
“Is that why you have been so focused on building the museum?”
They nod, brushing long brown curls back behind their ear to look at the lanky man across from them on the blanket. “I will never be able to express just how sorry I am to all those I hurt because I have no measuring tape for deception and betrayal. I can only record all my sins I have committed and hang them from those stone walls for all to see and judge, praying with each day I can make it up a little bit more to those slain by my decision.”
Dropping their gaze from Wilbur’s they fidget with their fingers. “The day I agreed to Dream’s plot is one I have memorised in perfect detail. Same with your death by his hand while I watched, already hating the choice I made.”
Water rushes the shore as the silence between the pair grows, Wilbur finishing the bottle after Eret’s final sip. Closing the glass bottle off with the cap, he lets it lay to his other side and slides closer to the Ruler.
“I don’t want to think about that anymore. Can you tell me more of that passage you were reading earlier?” He asks, sliding a long scarred hand to where their’s rests beside them, Eret not moving their hand as he grasps it tentatively.
Letting their concerns fall away for a moment, they attempt to picture what they were reading earlier in an inebriated state. “I will do my best but only a few passages are fresh in my mind.”
“Better than nothing.”
Skipping ahead of a few lines, their voice smooths as they recall the words, losing themselves in the safety of poems instead of the dangers of sad thoughts.
"And sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it though the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees.
And sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again
And sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream
And the universe said I love you"
Brother, you don't need to turn me away
I was waiting down at the ancient gate
You go
Wherever you go today
You go today
I remember how they took you down
As the winter turned the meadow brown
Eret stood facing the direction of the retreating form of one of their dearest friends, wondering if they would ever meet Wilbur again. It was unexpected to even speak with the man, months of silence had worried the Ruler but they still weren’t sure if they were on speaking terms. Listening for any tidbit they assured their heart of the former President’s well-being before he had suddenly appeared on their doorstep. It had been ages since they had spent time together, the last being when they had drinks and talked about the universe in the ruins of L’Manburg. Both of their prides and regrets hung heavy that night reflecting on what was. Remembering the conversation a few moments ago they allow their brain to replay it one last time, giving a wistful look to the man walking away.
“You really need to come up with a better name than just ‘the museum’.” Wilbur had teased, his face stubbly and scarred through his handsome features.
“I really should but nothing seems right. I just keep building and adding but never truly dubbing it properly.” Eret replied, both standing on the steps of the huge building that had become their life's work.
“How about ‘The History of the Dream SMP?”
“Too wordy, don’t you think? It needs something bold and recognisable.”
“‘Eret’s Library and Histories?’”
“Having my name attached sounds rather obnoxious don’t you think?”
“Gods you are so fucking picky.” Wilbur took a moment before snapping his fingers. “Alright, Monarch, how is ‘The Royal Archives’?”
They had taken a few moments really thinking about those words before giving a small smile. “‘The Royal Archives’ does have a good ring to it.”
Giving a gentle laugh, they allow the sadness to fall alongside the relief to finally have a name for their dedication, dubbed none other than by someone they held long history with. It just felt right.
“The Royal Archives.” They said once more aloud, liking how it sounded. “You can’t go anywhere without leaving your mark, Wilbur Soot.”
Eret knew they addressed a man who wasn’t there, a salty droplet slipping down their face. “I am going to miss you, my friend.”
Taking one more deep breath of fresh air they say one more phrase to the empty path ahead, hoping it catches up to the curly haired brunette to give him comfort as he adventured far away from this world server. Holding a hand over their heart, the breeze caresses their face as they whisper with a bittersweet sorrow.
“And the universe said you are stronger than you know
And the universe said you are the daylight
And the universe said you are the night
And the universe said the darkness you fight is within you
And the universe said the light you seek is within you
And the universe said you are not alone
And the universe said you are not separate from every other thing.”
You go
Wherever you go today
You go today
When out walking, brother, don't you forget
It ain't often that you'll ever find a friend