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Eddie Munson wasn’t poor per se- financially challenged, maybe- but not poor. He had a roof over his head, food on his table, and cash in his pocket, what more do you need? Owning ten cars and living in a five story mansion with golden toilets just never appealed to him. Sure, sometimes he wished he made a little more money, had enough to get his own place, maybe a new set of speakers… but he never gave much thought. That was before The Great Change of ‘77 as his uncle liked to call it. When little Eden Munson realized she was more of a he. He had always felt… different from the girls in his classes, never understood what “be a lady” meant. But when he hit puberty he knew something was wrong. Very wrong. Suddenly his chest was getting soft and his stomach felt weird. He had a week-long panic attack when his first period hit. Girls teased him and boys paid too much attention to him- that is until he started going by Eddie and telling everyone he was a boy. But that's not the point. The point is he never fantasized about having riches…until now. Now he thinks about money constantly. A friend of his just had top surgery and he was jealous. He wished it was him with a flat chest, a chance at being taken seriously as a /man/. But he didn't have $10,000. Didn't even have health insurance. So he had just resigned to the fact that he would have breasts forever. He didn't like it but he made peace with it. He’s been on hormones for years and his muscles were finally starting to fill out, he was growing hair. He was still manly. He was still a man.
And then Steve Harrington walked into his life like a goddamn guardian angel; Saving his ass from being mauled by interdimensional bats, helping through his rehab, clearing his name… He loved him, cares for him like no one else ever has. He makes Eddie's heart flutter, makes him feel safe. He doesn't have to be Eddie “raddest fucking metalhead in all of hawkins indiana” Munson all the time. He can just be Eddie. And on a particularly bad day he confesses something he never meant to.
He hadn’t intended on ever having this conversation with anyone, let alone Steve, but it had been a really bad day. It was a particularly bad dysphoria day and he couldn't wear his binder- he had worn it too long yesterday and the day before and it worries Steve when he over binds regularly so he promised he would take a break. Steve knew it would be hard for him so he made sure to be there as soon as Eddie was awake. He brought Honey Combs and a six pack for breakfast. He complimented him, told him how handsome he looked in his muscle tank, and kissed him. He offered to help him work on the van because he knew how it made Eddie feel like a “real man” covered in sweat and grease (even though he was already the most real man Steve has ever known). He even massaged the tight knots out of his back the binder had caused. Things were going well, really well- He was having a good time, smiling so bright Steve thought he'd go blind. He had barely noticed the slight bulge in his loose fitting tank, the tacky skin on his chest.
It was getting late and they were both exhausted, choosing to retire to the living room couch. Eddie's head laid comfortably in Steve's lap as he pet his hair, absentmindedly whispering sweet compliments. He looked like a content house cat stretched out and smiling, barely registering whatever movie was playing in the background- He swears he can hear him purring. They just sat there, basking in each other's presence, relishing in the warmth of their bodies… it felt like heaven.
Eddie shifted slightly, turning on his side to face Steve, and it came out of nowhere, hit him like a train. That gut wrenching feeling, the tightness in his chest. He could feel the weight shift on top of him, the heat, that insufferable pull of unwanted skin. He could feel it every time he breathed, felt the jiggle as his shoulders began to shake. Before he knew it fat tears were rolling down his cheek, pooling in his ear. He turned his face into Steve's stomach, sobbing into the soft fabric of his sweater. And Steve knew what was happening, didn't even have to ask, he remembers those days all too well. He just held him tightly, chest flush against him to take some of the weight off. He rubs his back in soothing circles, trying to ground him. When Eddie regains control of his breath he takes his face into his hands, carefully lifting him up, eyes asking an unspoken question. He knows that voicing the pain can help ease it. Especially when the other really knows what it feels like. And Eddie was speaking before he even knew what he wanted to say-
“It's just. It's so frustrating. I know I'm a man. I know it! But it doesn't feel like it. '' he chokes around a sob he'd been trying to hold back “I don't look like a man. I'm all curves and soft features. I hate it Steve, hate them. And there's nothing I can do about it! I’m stuck with them. Fucking stuck with them on my chest. Ruining my life. The clothes, the binding, the hormones…it's just not enough. It's never enough…” Eddie curls in on himself, squeezing his knees to his chest, desperately trying to will them away, like if he can just press hard enough they'll pop. And he'll be free.
Steve's chest aches, feels like there's a vice on his heart knowing there's nothing he can do to ease his boyfriend's suffering. All he can do is pull Eddie impossibly closer and kiss him, kiss him, slow and sweet like molasses. Kiss him like he's the only man on earth he'd ever want to kiss, and he is. He wraps his arms around his lower back, careful not to brush over his chest, tips his head forward so their foreheads are touching “ Ed’s… I know. I know it hurts. But it won't always be like this. After you get your surgery-”
Eddie's dry, humorless laugh cuts him off, confused by the sound. When he speaks his words drip with venom “My surgery? Yeah, good one Steve. Like I can afford that. ‘Can barely pay to keep this shithole parked here. Don't even have insurance. Not to mention no one wants to be known as the surgeon who cut the freaks tits off-” shit. ShitShitShit. His eyes go wide as he realizes what he's just said. The only secret he's kept from steve. He hates it. Hates people truly knowing his financial situation. Especially Steve. Kind Steve who drives a pristine burgundy BMW 733i. King Steve who lives in a two story mansion with a massive inground pool. King Steve who’s settling for the dirty fag from the trailer park… He curses as he sits up on the couch, turning away from Steve. Rubs at his eyes in a feeble attempt to stop the tears now free flowing down his cheeks. He can hear Steve shift behind him, feel his eyes burning holes in his back. His stomach twists with shame. He sighs “Fuck. ‘m sorry man. It-It’s nothing! Forget I said that. It's fine, I'm fine. Just being dramatic as always” he turns and offers a crooked grin that doesn't reach his eyes. He hoped that would be enough, Steve would laugh it off and wipe his face and they'd go back to relaxing. He doesn't. Of course it isn't enough. They cant just go back to the shitty movie after he dropped a bomb like that. And now Steve is looking at him with his deep chocolate eyes swimming. He can see the glossy shine, the wetness behind those long lashes. He's looking at him, pitying him. Eddie's stomach hurts, the guilt and shame colliding. He thinks he could be sick. “Steve… Don’t- Don’t look at me like that. I’m fine. Really. I’ve got a roof over my head, ‘m not starving, I've got cash in my wallet. ‘M not some charity case begging for change” He tries smiling again, softer this time. Closer to being genuine. But he’s still looking at him. Looking at him like you look at a kitten on the side of the road in the pouring rain. He hates it. Hates being a burden. His uncle is bad enough, but now steve. He can't do this. He goes to stand but Steve catches him by the wrist. There's a long pause, no sound but their heavy breaths. Steve pulls him a little closer, turning his hand over, lacing their fingers together. He clears his throat and shakes his head, pulling himself out of his thoughts. Takes a second to compose himself and when he finally looks up at Eddie he’s stern. Eddie knows that face. It’s his “game face”. The face he makes when he breaks down a play for Lucas or lays out a plan. He sighs, knowing there is no getting away. Steve is going to say what he needs to say and Eddie is going to listen. He has no idea what his boyfriend is going to say, dreads the words about to come from his mouth.
“Eddie I- I don't know what to say… I-” he sighs and scrubs his free hand down his face “why didn't you tell me sooner?” he isn't angry, his eyes are pleading. It sends a sharp pain through Eddie's heart.
“...Because I didn't want you to know. Didn’t want this’ he gestures toward steve “Didn’t want you to think less of me. Didn't want to be Steve Harrington's latest pity project. I- I like you steve. I like you so,so much, I think I might love you… An’ I- I didn't want to scare you off. I thought if you knew… you wouldn't like me. Would think ‘m disgusting. Toss me aside like everyone else in my life.” Eddie's smile is weak, painted in fear and pain and Steve aches. His body throbs with shame, with guilt so deeply seeded he doesn't know how he never saw it before. Just how /different/ their lives have been. He can finally see it. Their economic gap is laid out in front of him as he sits in Eddie's trailer. He finally takes it in: breathes in the musty, smoke laced air, the wallpaper that's cracked and a little stained, the couch whose cushions are threadbare and ripped, springs ready to burst through. Steve’s never thought if eddie kike that. Like he was helpless. Like he needed his charity. “Eds…no. I- I’ve never-” hes frustrated, can't find the words he needs to speak. The words he needs Eddie to hear. So he fists Eddie's shirt, pulls him down into a smothering kiss, trying to express the sheer amount of love he feels. When he pulls away his eyes are wet, new tears threatening to spill. He cradles Eddie's face like he's the most precious thing in the world. “Eddie” he sighs “I’ve never thought of you like that. Never thought you were…dirty or disgusting. I dont care where you live, trailer or castle, fuck I dont care what you drive, how much money you make” the words come tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop himself “I- love you Eddie. I love your smile, your laugh, how you light up a room, how you ease any pain I feel just by being there! But…” Steve hesitates, unsure if he should say it or not, grappling with the consequences. But he has to, Eddie needs to know “if you'll have me, i’d like to help…support you. Before you say anything please, let me explain.” There's a slight protest from Eddie, a puff of air accompanied by a grimace and Steve giggles, can't help himself. “I don’t want to shower you with gifts, don't want you to feel like it's pity motivating me. I’m not, never have. I- I want to help you. I can help you find a stable job, provide a support system… I know we’ve not been together for that long, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but- we’ve been through so much together and I just can't see myself loving anyone as much as I love you. I don't want to. So… so what if we did things together? No Harrington money, no King Steve, no ‘Hawkins most wanted’... Just you and me. Steve and Eddie. We can- can get a little apartment, start a surgery fund. We can start over together. You're not alone anymore Ed’s”
Eddie breaks; He’s shaking and fresh tears are streaming down his cheeks, curving around his ridiculous smile. He can't find the words. Can't express how much it means to him that stee would give up everything for him. “Fuck stevie…” he laughs “you really know how to make a guy feel lucky. Yes, yes to everything. I love you, have loved you since the moment I first saw you” his cheeks burn and his smile is so wide it stings but he’s the happiest he's ever been in his life, here in Steve's arms. He climbs back into Steve's lap pressing sloppy kisses to Steve's lips. There's tears everywhere and their snot is mixing and it's wonderful. They cling to each other like it's all that's keeping them alive. Eddie speaks it back into Steve's mouth “We can start over together…”
It’s a promise. An unbreakable bond linking them together for the rest of their days. Whatever they do next, it will be together.