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It all started during one of their sparring matches.
Scaramouche was still following Lumine in her adventures. He told himself it was only because he had nothing else to do and nowhere else to go, while also getting the chance to study an opponent (former opponent? He didn’t know). They started bickering about something pointless (they were always bickering. He didn’t want to admit it was kind of fun), until Lumine challenged him to a sparring match and Scaramouche, who’s never one to back down from challenges, accepted.
They were in one of Sumeru’s lush rainforests, surrounded only by trees and greenery. It had just rained, so the air was still moist and fresh, and the ground was slippery. It was no surprise that, at one point, Lumine lost her footing and almost fell, despite being used to fighting in such conditions. At the time, she just brushed it off and kept fighting, and Scaramouche only threw in a sarcastic comment about her being too distracted to properly land. Paimon shrieked once it happened, then took it upon herself to make a retort to Scaramouche’s comment.
After they were done and tired, they just kept moving on and exploring; Lumine stopped by a campfire to make some food for her and Paimon, and Scaramouche just sat down for a while to watch (he hated to admit that he was learning how to cook by observing Lumine do so). He felt like something about Lumine’s behavior was off, but he didn’t point it out. If something had happened, she’d tell him, right? She had told him off countless times whenever he showed any signs of “inappropriate behavior”.
Lumine, however, didn’t say anything, and they just moved on with their daily lives. At night, she brought out the teapot for them to go in and rest; she tucked Paimon in and walked into her room to change into more comfortable clothes.
Her behavior was still off. Scaramouche hated to admit that he noticed such a subtle change in her. Was he really paying so much attention to her? Did he really care that much? Next thing he knew, he was at the door to her room, slowly twisting the doorknob open…
Scaramouche was met with a horrible sight. No, not because it was ugly – Lumine would never be ugly in his eyes – but because it was… He didn’t know how to explain it. He felt something within him twisting and turning, like it was alive. It was not exactly anger, although he could feel the very familiar burn loitering around. It was a weird mixture of feelings simmering inside him, ready to explode and kill.
Lumine had her back turned towards the door, standing only in her underwear, having just finished taking her dress off. Her gloves and boots were still on, as she stretched… The scars on her back in full bloom. Scaramouche had seen some of them before, peeking from under her clothes, but he had never seen that . Those were like ugly thorny vines, blossoming from under her skin, marking it as theirs, writing on it many stories of pain and anger.
Scaramouche feels like his body gains its own will, as he steps inside the room, his legs carrying him close to Lumine; as his arms lift up to touch and trace those horrible marks sullying Lumine’s perfection.
She yelps in surprise once she feels the touch on her back, but she doesn’t assume the usual “on guard” position whenever she’s surprised by something. She merely turns her head, so that she can look at who’s behind her.
“Kunikuzushi?” she calls, like the name is a secret that must not be disclosed to the world.
Scaramouche is still looking down, fingers slowly tracing over the scars, like he can read them. He looks up, into her golden eyes.
“What…” he doesn’t know what to say. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth.
“What’s wrong, hm?” she gently asks, turning around so that she can better face him. Her gloves are off; she must’ve removed them sometime when Scaramouche was distracted by the display on her back.
He can’t help but look down, searching for more. He sees those few ones he had seen only glimpses of, but they aren’t as ugly. Instead, he notices something else.
Lumine’s left wrist – the one she used to steady herself when she nearly fell during their sparring match – is fiery red and a little swollen. Scaramouche reaches down, seizing her left arm by the forearm to better look at it.
“You…” he still doesn’t know what to say.
“It’s nothing, really.” she shakes her head. “It’s just a bit swollen, it should go down-”
“Stop lying to me!” he demands, voice higher than he intended to be. He hopes Paimon is in deep sleep and is not woken up by it.
Lumine’s golden eyes darken, like she’s offended by his statement. Scaramouche doesn’t back down; the anger inside him is boiling hot enough to make him forget what fear feels like.
“I’m not. I have never lied to you.” she states with the same finality she deals a finishing blow to an enemy.
“You’re injured. Because of me .” he challenges, mindful of the volume of his voice now. He’d hate it if Paimon interrupted them. “And you didn’t say anything, you just kept it to yourself!”
“It wasn’t because of you, it was my own fault-!” she tries to argue.
“Stop being so nice!” he interrupts her, his other hand flying up to grip her by the jaw. Scaramouche is angry. At himself, at the world, at everything. He hates seeing Lumine hurt – he doesn’t know why – and knowing that she’s been through so much is just… Too painful to bear.
He decides then that, if she’s not going to be angry at people for doing such things to her, he’s going to be angry in her stead.
Lumine retaliates by doing the same; reaching up and gripping him by the jaw. Her golden eyes are still darker than usual.
“I’m not .” she defies. “I’m kind and nice, but I’m not stupid or unfair, either. If you do something wrong, I’ll call you out for it; if I do something wrong, I’ll hold myself accountable for it. And you didn’t. I’m not injured because of you, I’m injured because I wasn’t careful enough.”
“So you admit you were distracted.” Scaramouche states. He wants to tease her for it just like how he did back during their match, but the anger and the bitter feelings in him still haven’t subsided.
“Yeah, I was.” Lumine admits. Almost confesses. “You’re way too pretty for your own good.”
Scaramouche feels heat spreading across his cheeks. He doesn’t know why Lumine’s words affect him so much, to the point of making him lose his train of thought.
“Don’t… Don’t avoid the subject.” he deadpans. It causes Lumine to smirk.
“I’m not.” she teases.
“Where else are you injured?” he demands. He tries to look serious, but all he does is look cute to Lumine, who has his face squished into her hand.
“Right ankle. Nothing serious. Should be fine after a few days of less strenuous activities.” she makes a brief pause, in which Scaramouche’s grip on her jaw loosens just a bit. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to bear with a few days of less fighting.”
“I’ll do the fighting.” he declares, letting go of her jaw. She releases his as well.
They just stand there in silence, looking at each other, for what feels like hours.
“I’m… I’m…” Scaramouche stumbles over his own words. “I’m sorry.” he mutters.
Lumine thinks she heard wrong. For a split second, she thinks about making a teasing comment, but soon decides against it. He seems genuine enough, and she doesn’t want to ruin the moment by making him angry or upset. She doesn’t want him to think she’s making less of his feelings.
“For… For what? You didn’t do anything…” she asks, genuinely confused.
“I… I don’t know, either.” he frowns. It looks like a pout. “Isn’t that something humans say when they see each other in pain?” he reminds.
Lumine smiles. It’s not a teasing smile, it’s a genuine one. Scaramouche wished she would always smile like that (she has already told him, however, that life is not always happiness).
“Those on your back… Are they…?” he tries, but he doesn’t know how to.
“No, you weren’t responsible for any of them.” she states, shaking her head. She’s still smiling.
“You… You’ve been through a lot.” he says simply. He doesn’t know how to do it. He doesn’t know how to comfort her the same way she comforts him.
Despite the awkwardness, Lumine can tell what he’s trying to do, and appreciates him for it.
“I have.” she agrees. He’s still holding her by the forearm.
Scaramouche is still frowning. Like he’s conjuring up every single conversation they’ve had, trying to find the right words to tell her.
“I don’t know how to do this.” he declares. It feels like his brain is shutting down.
Lumine laughs.
“You don’t have to.” she says.
“I want to!” he immediately retorts. “You’ve! You’ve always done so much for me, even though I don’t deserve it! And I know I’m terrible but! It feels wrong!” he rants.
Lumine smiles at him, gently prying her arm away from his touch. Both her hands reach out, holding both sides of his face. She’s an angel, Scaramouche thinks. No, she’s way more than an angel.
She’s a goddess.
“Thank you.” she says. “I appreciate it.”
He leans into her touch. A memory flashes through his mind and gives him an idea.
“I know what I have to do now.” he says, then takes one step back. He misses the warmth of Lumine’s hands as she gently removes them from his face.
Scaramouche turns around, and starts removing layers of clothing. Lumine watches it with a puzzled expression, until he removes the black piece of clothing that covers his torso. The sight takes Lumine’s breath away, in a negative sense.
On his back, there are numerous ugly scars blossoming like twisted roses. They all seem to share a similar shape – one that’s a bit too much like a circle. She immediately thinks of the many cables hooking him up to the “god machine” that she fought against. She walks closer, tracing those scars with her fingers the same way Scaramouche did with hers; like she could read the stories behind them.
She feels a bitter taste in her mouth. There’s a feeling of revulsion simmering in her guts.
“There.” Scaramouche says, looking over his shoulders so he can look at Lumine. “Do you still think I’m pretty?” he asks in a bitter voice, as if he’s mocking himself.
She looks up, straight into his eyes.
“Yes.” she answers simply. She’s not lying. “Do you think my scars make me ugly?”
“No.”
“Then, we’re even.” she smiles, despite the anger swirling deep within her. “I just… I just…” she looks down again, at the angry scars defiling his back. “I’m angry.” she sighs deeply.
Scaramouche is surprised. He turns around so they can have a face-to-face conversation.
“Why?”
“... Because. I don’t know.” she states. “I’m… Angry that you have those.”
“Well, I’m also angry that you have those.” and he gestures vaguely at her.
Now, Lumine is the one who’s surprised.
“Why?”
“I don’t know either.” he shrugs. “You just… Seem too good to deserve any of that.” he muses. “You can’t say the same about me, though, because I definitely deserved those.”
Lumine smiles, despite the bitter pain.
“That’s debatable.” she decides. “However, it’s too late for that. I need rest.”
Scaramouche nods.
“You do. You better be in perfect shape during our next match.” he points out. Lumine laughs.
“I’ll be. Wanna join me?” and she gestures towards her bed.
Scaramouche follows, because Lumine is the sun and he’s just a planet in her orbit.