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Chapter Text

Just his luck, Severus had to be in the wrong place at the wrong time with a transformed werewolf. Only his first month here and that stupid lycanthrope had forgotten to take his last dose of wolfsbane potion. When Severus tried to take it to him in time, he'd been too late, finding himself trapped with the wolf. It leapt on top of him, and Severus braced himself for a painful death, his punishment for attempting to keep the beast sane.
To his astonishment, however, instead of getting attacked and bitten, he was mounted and vigorously mated, ravaged by a wolf with no human sensibilities, only feeling the primal urge to breed. It must have smelled it on him, that he was fit to bear and a strong specimen, and therefore a good candidate to carry its issue. It went on for hours, the wolf repeatedly pounding his unwilling breeding mate.
By the end, the wolf was satisfied and asleep. Severus was panting on the floor, clothes torn, legs bloodied. It was all he could do to crawl out of the shack and stagger through the passage, back to the castle where he stumbled to his quarters and collapsed. Everything hurt. Certain parts were on fire. He was covered in sweat and fur and dried blood, with a generous amount of the wolf's seed inside him, and too exhausted to move.
And that's how the male bearer found himself pregnant by a werewolf.

He'd worried that he was going to end up with a belly full of cubs, so he was relieved to find out that he was carrying one human baby. That he could handle. Probably.
There was no point telling the headmaster about the incident - he'd made it clear years before that he didn't care if Severus got attacked by a werewolf, or by anyone. Nothing would be done to punish the offender. Besides, Severus didn't want anyone finding out the whole story. It was enough for him to have to come to terms with, both mentally and physically.
When his persistent morning sickness got Pomfrey's attention, she insisted on checking him over, and discovered he was in the family way. She was naturally curious as to how he'd gotten pregnant and who the other parent was, but Severus insisted on keeping it a secret.
He had several months to decide what he was going to do, whether to keep the child or give it up for adoption. Sometimes he thought it would be best to let someone else raise it - he was hardly parent material. Who would want him for a father? Other times, he wondered if it would be right handing off a child with werewolf genes to someone else who may not know what they were getting into. It wasn't a guarantee that the child would inherit lycanthropy, but the possibility was there. Severus was no expert on childcare, but he did know a thing or two about werewolves, at least, and he was definitely qualified to brew wolfsbane, while many weren’t, and the potion and ingredients weren't that easy to come by. He debated back and forth for a long time, deciding one thing and then the other, over and over.
Meanwhile, Lupin remained blissfully unaware that he had inadvertently sired a child, much less that Severus was the one carrying it. Keeping such a big secret right under his cold wet nose gave Severus some satisfaction, at least. He liked any opportunity to get one up on Lupin, and he knew that the man believed he would never be a father. And he wouldn't. He would never know that whether he got the last word in or not, Severus had the last laugh as he swanned off carrying what Lupin wanted and couldn't have. In fact, knowing Lupin might want the child nearly swayed Severus into keeping it, if only to ensure they were kept out of his bumbling paws. Besides, he was busy every month turning into a raging, hormonal wolf. Surely a worse choice than Severus for raising a child.

His first trimester had been awful. Morning sickness sent him scurrying to the nearest loo every day, making Pomfrey worried that he wasn't keeping anything down. Severus was too sick and tired to work sometimes, and in no condition to care. There were many days he simply lay in bed miserable, nibbling on crackers or sipping broth and tea and cursing out werewolves everywhere. The glares he sent Lupin's way when he did see him were more venomous than ever, and people wondered how Lupin didn't drop dead on the spot. He could only guess that he had done or said something to make the potion master hate him more than usual, but Severus wasn't telling him anything. He managed his nausea and fatigue as best he could, alone, soothing himself by dreaming up all the different ways one could murder a werewolf, or creative methods of neutering.
Another consequence of his condition was that he could no longer brew wolfsbane - it contained aconite, and he couldn't handle toxins while pregnant. Not to mention, at least not to Pomfrey, that Severus imagined it could be highly dangerous for him to come into contact with wolfsbane while carrying a werewolf's offspring. There was no way of knowing yet if the child had inherited their sire's furry problem, but it was a risk to consider nonetheless. Thankfully he didn't have to mention this for Pomfrey to agree it was safer for her to take over brewing the wolfsbane, though he passed along some very detailed instructions on brewing it correctly. They didn't need an out of control werewolf again.
To Severus' great relief, the debilitating nausea ebbed away as his second trimester arrived, and he could focus on his cravings for meat and his expanding stomach, which came with new issues. Before long he had a bulging middle that pushed against his clothes. He worried about how he was going to hide this. Pomfrey had told Dumbledore about their potion master's condition, who thankfully hadn't spilled the news to the entire school, and Severus hoped no one else would find out. He had an image to maintain, which had nothing to do with being at all paternal. He found a glamor that was safe to use, and wore it every day while in public. No one realized that their slender, cranky potions master was steadily growing thicker with child, or that he was wearing bigger robes. Pomfrey had half jokingly offered to find him some tasteful maternity wear, and Severus had not jokingly offered to hex her.
He'd never had much sympathy for Lupin's furry problem, yet lately during full moons Severus was getting stomach aches, a churning that only happened at night, and didn't let up until morning. It couldn't possibly be sympathy pains, and Pomfrey only said some indigestion was normal during pregnancy. But he didn't get them any other time except during the night of the full moon, a fact he hid from her. He hated to think what it meant.

Chapter Text

For the first time, Severus dreaded the full moon. He looked out the window, anxiously rubbing his belly, round and plump at 6 months. The 'moon pains,' as he thought of them, had started at a level of discomfort and grown worse each month, leaving him rubbing his aching bump all night instead of sleeping. He hated to think what it was going to be like this month. From nausea to stomach pains, it wasn't easy carrying a werewolf's issue. But Severus was touching his belly a lot these days when no one was looking, and not always from trying to soothe discomfort. He was far enough along to feel movement, and he couldn't help responding to the little body fluttering around inside him. He wondered sometimes if they felt as bad as he did or not during these times.
He went to bed early, hoping to get some sleep while he could. Late at night, he woke up with stomach pains. He wasn't contracting, and he wasn't feeling pressure, so he was fairly sure it wasn't premature labor. But now that he was further along, he could feel what was going on: the baby was thrashing around inside him, kicking and punching everything in reach.
Wincing, Severus sat up, rubbing his bump.
"Shh, shh, stop it! Ouch! Everything's alright! Oof! Ouch!"
The baby didn't let up for hours. Severus wearily sat there with his eyes shut, trying in vain to calm the baby down, grimacing from the constant jabs and kicks. If this kept up each month, his insides were going to be black and blue.
By the time the moon went down, the baby started to settle at last.
"There, finally. Had enough? Gotten back at me for who your sire is? It wasn’t my idea. Not that it was yours either." He ran his hands over his bump to soothe the baby, until he felt them fall asleep. He sighed and lay down again. Maybe he could get a couple hours of rest before he had to get up.
Throughout the day Severus was tired, yet not too tired to notice he wasn't feeling the baby move. By now he was used to the occasional thumps and twitches inside him during the day, but as the day drew to a close he hadn't felt anything, not once. After dinner he gently pushed and prodded his bump with his fingers, and got no response. Worry tightened his chest. Something must be wrong. Whatever had happened last night must have done something to the baby. And now it was several hours later. What if he had waited too long? What if it was too late?
He hurried to the hospital wing, just about shoving everyone out of his way.
"What on earth?" Pomfrey exclaimed as Severus barged in clutching his stomach.
"Poppy! Something's wrong!"
Seeing the rare panic in his eyes, she ushered him into a private room where he immediately lifted the glamor.
"Tell me, Severus." She gestured to the bed, and he lay down.
"It's the baby. They were thrashing around all last night, they wouldn't let up until morning, and they haven't moved since! I can't get them to move and I've felt nothing all day!"
Pomfrey had been casting diagnostics, a frown on her face. Severus felt his heart race faster.
"Poppy, are they alright?"
"Open your shirt."
He did, almost tearing it off, and she palpated his belly. The baby didn't respond to her prodding.
"Poppy, tell me they're alright." He hated the suspense.
She finished her ministrations and sat back with a frown. "Their heartbeat is a little slow, but it's going, otherwise their vitals are fine. They are alive. But you're right, they're unresponsive. Have you been eating every meal?"
"Yes." He'd been trying not to starve the little one, especially after their rough first few months when he'd barely been able to keep any food down.
"And they didn't move during or after?"
"No."
"Tell me about this thrashing last night."
"I woke up because the baby was beating everything inside me with a vengeance. I tried to calm them down, but they were at it all night until morning."
"And nothing since."
"Nothing."
"Hmm." She summoned an empty vial and had him hold out his arm. "I'm going to run a few blood tests just to see if we can rule out anything more sinister, but at first blush I would guess they're simply exhausted from all that activity. Keep an eye on them, and let me know if you still don't feel anything by tomorrow. The real question, however, is what caused the thrashing in the first place. That is not normal."
Severus' heart sank. He already knew this child was not going to be normal, having a fair guess why they reacted so strongly to the full moon.
He lay awake that night, stroking his bump with one hand, waiting for any sign of life besides the weight in his belly.
"Come on, little one. You're strong. You can bounce back from this. Your wretched sire keeps coming back each month like a bad Knut, you can do this. You’re better than him."
He felt nothing all night, and he began fighting despair. The full moon took a lot out of Lupin, and he was a grown man - how was a tiny baby not even born yet supposed to handle it? Hatred for Lupin grew blazing hot. Lupin had done this, he'd passed his infernal infliction on to his baby. That stupid, horny wolf. If his baby died, Severus would hunt him down like the animal he was and mount that furry head in his quarters as a trophy.
He didn't know when he fell asleep, out of exhaustion. When his eyes dragged open in the morning, he found himself curled around his stomach, still clutching it.
There was a shift. Severus' eyes fully opened. There it was again, someone moving inside him. Tears formed as he stroked his bump, grateful for every little nudge.

Pomfrey was glad to hear that the baby was moving again, and confirmed that their heart rate was now in a better range. The blood tests had all come back normal, showing nothing that could have caused the thrashing. Pomfrey was confused, but Severus wasn't surprised. There wasn't a test for lycanthropy in unborn children. Werewolves weren't encouraged to breed in the first place, and as far as he knew no one had ever been bred by one in their wolf form. Naturally, he had to be the trailblazer who got knocked up and had to work it out himself.
In the meantime he appreciated every little movement from the baby as he went about his days, secretly feeling the thumps and rolls in his belly that continued to expand. When no one was looking, when he was alone, his hands were all over it, as if to reassure himself the baby was alright. The incident had frightened him more than he would have imagined, and he was more relieved than he realized. He had to start admitting to himself that there was the possibility he might be getting attached to this baby.

Chapter Text

The full moon neared in his 7th month, and Severus started worrying again. If the pattern held, the thrashing would be worse as the baby grew in size and strength, and they would be too exhausted to move all day afterwards. He tried to think of anything he could do to alleviate the discomfort on both sides, but he wasn't a healer. He might need help. He didn't want Pomfrey finding out the truth, but if it came down to keeping the baby alive and safe, he would have to risk it.
He went to the hospital wing the evening before the full moon.
"Everything alright, Severus?" Pomfrey asked when he came in.
"I'm fine, but... I feel there's going to be another incident tonight."
"You think it's going to happen again?"
"Yes. I was hoping to stay here tonight, in case…"
"I understand. In fact, it would be wise to keep you under observation so I can see for myself." She directed him to a private room. "Everything's stocked. Call for me as soon as it starts."
"Thank you."
He undressed, used the bathroom, and got into bed, knowing he would need to sleep while he could.
He woke up after dark. The moon was in the sky. The baby was thrashing harder than before, making him wince as he gripped his belly.
"Poppy!"
She came running, stopping by his bed. "Oh my!" She could see ripples forming under his skin from the baby's wild acrobatics. "They're really going!"
"You don't have to tell me! Oof!" He hissed from having his organs constantly beaten.
Pomfrey cast diagnostics and various tests. "Their heart rate is high, no surprise. And they've been acting normal all day?"
"Yes - Ouch!"
None of Pomfrey's tests were telling her anything, other than the obvious that the baby was freaking out. She held her hands to his belly and felt the frantic movements within. "I can't understand it. I don't know what's making them do this."
"Can't you calm them down?"
"I hesitate to give them anything in this state. It might make it worse." She cast another charm over him, hoping if she could watch in real time she might catch a clue. An image formed in the air, showing what was going on in the womb. She'd used it before to see the baby, but this time she gasped.
"Merlin's Beard!"
Severus' jaw dropped, along with his heart.
There was a little wolf cub thrashing inside him.
The truth was out.
He glanced nervously at Pomfrey, who was too stunned to speak at first.
"Poppy… please…"
"Severus… It's a wolf! But.. earlier…" It took time before the pieces came together. Why they'd seen a human before and a wolf now. Why these episodes only happened once a month. Why it was happening now on the same night Lupin was in the shrieking shack.
Severus was stunned as well at this development. He'd guessed the baby had inherited the wolf's affliction, but he'd never considered, not in a million years, that they were already transforming in the womb every month. It all made sense now, but he deflated at the inevitable fallout this would cause. No more secrecy.
"Severus… I'm sorry. The baby is a lycanthrope!"
"I know - Ouch! I knew. I just didn't know that they were transforming."
"You knew? You know who the other parent is?"
"Of course I know."
"Are they a werewolf, to your knowledge?"
He sighed. "Yes."
"Severus, I'm astonished!"
"It wasn't my doing! It was the wolf! A fully transformed werewolf insisted on breeding me! Ouch!" He hissed in pain.
Pomfrey stared at the moving image of the thrashing cub in his belly. "Who is it? Whose is it?"
Severus stared at the image too, struggling between disappointment and outrage through the pain.
"Severus! Do you know whose it is?"
"It doesn't matter."
"There is no point trying to protect them."
"I am NOT trying to protect them! Oof!"
"You think they shouldn't answer for this, then?"
"... It was Lupin."
His mouth set in a thin line, while her jaw dropped again.
"Does he know?"
"No, he doesn't. He doesn't remember anything from that night - Oof! - and I've told him nothing. He has no idea the child exists."
"You wanted to keep the baby safe," Pomfrey guessed.
She wasn't wrong. He worried what might happen to a lycanthropic baby no one would probably want. It was frowned upon for werewolves to breed, but as much as Severus would love to send Lupin up the river, selling him out would necessarily reveal what happened and involve his baby too, and he didn't want to risk them getting caught up in Lupin's punishment, or reputation.
"Are you going to give them up?"
"No! They're mine!" Severus growled, baring his teeth, making Pomfrey recoil a bit at his ferocity.
"Alright, alright. Just asking. But this is going to be a challenge, Severus."
"I know."
"It may help to have Remus offer some advice."
"NO! If he finds out, he'll get all clingy and never leave! He may want to take the child for himself! Oof!"
Pomfrey recognized fear behind the anger. "Severus, he does not have full rights as a werewolf. He is quite unlikely to win custody of the baby even if he wanted to."
"He's still enough of a sap - Ouch! - to try something! I don't want him getting involved!"
"You don't have to involve him, Severus. We could figure this out on our own. But what if the baby needs his help to deal with this?"
She found his weak spot. Severus wavered, but he offered up more resistance.
"He can't help now. He's already transformed."
"He can't be around during full moons, true, but he may have insight you need. He might even be able to stay with them during transformations."
"That assumes he can be helpful in the first place, which is not my experience with him. Ouch!"
"It's up to you, Severus. You can do this alone, or get some first hand assistance so the baby isn't alone."
Severus set his head back in frustration, groaning from the frustrating conversation and the constant acrobatics in his belly. "Fine. I'll think about it."

He endured the spasms until morning, when the baby calmed down. He and Pomfrey watched as the projected image showed the cub morph back into human form and settle into a curled position.
"Astounding," Pomfrey murmured.
"That's one word for it." Severus wearily rubbed his bump. He had such a sore belly.
Pomfrey checked the baby's vitals and confirmed they were satisfactory. "At least now we know why they're so tired afterwards. Get some sleep, Severus. I will tell the headmaster you must be excused from classes today."
"You won't tell him why?"
"... No. I'll keep this secret. At least until you decide how you want to handle this."
Severus was too exhausted to argue, or think. He settled into bed and went to sleep. He would tell Pomfrey his decision after getting some rest.
Remus and Severus both slept most of the day. When Remus was ready to get up in the evening, Pomfrey told him Severus was there too and had something to tell him. Curious what that might be, Remus followed her to another private room. He saw Severus lying in bed and wondered why he was there.
"Is he alright? Did I get out? Merlin, did I bite him?"
"No, no, you didn't bite him. But you do have something else to discuss." She shut the door behind her as she left.
Remus cautiously approached the bed, like coming up on a hibernating bear. Severus had the blankets up to his armpits, but he was shirtless.
"Severus?"
The potions master opened his eyes and regarded him with his usual disdain. "Lupin."
Remus sank into the chair, still feeling weak. "Poppy said you had something to tell me."
"Hmph. I wasn't going to, but she made a fair argument."
"Yes, Poppy is a force," Remus agreed with a weak smile.
After a few seconds of silence, Remus asked, "So, what are you in for, Severus?"
"I had a rather rough night."
"So did I."
"I know. It's your fault I'm here."
"Poppy said I didn't bite you. Did I attack you? Scratch you?"
Severus hesitated, then pulled down his blanket. Remus' eyes went wide as he saw Severus' swollen belly.
"... You look different since the last time I saw you." Remus tried lamely at humor.
"I've been disguising it. This happened 7 months ago. During the full moon."
Remus slowly let this sink in. "No...You mean…?"
"You conveniently neglected to take your last dose. I tried taking it to you, but your wolf decided it would be more fun to make a cub."
"Severus… I had no idea."
"Of course not. I never meant for you to find out."
Remus hung his head, running a hand through his hair. "Merlin… All this time… Severus, I'm sorry. I don't recall any of it."
"I know. I was counting on that."
"I didn't even know… I mean, that the wolf could, or even you could…" He was staring at the belly again.
"Apparently a bearer is capable of being bred with anything," Severus said shortly. He pulled the blanket back up so he could stroke his belly unseen.
Remus tried again at humor. "No wonder you've been glaring me down all this time. I was wondering what it was. You must hate me."
"I already hated you. Now I loathe you."
"Fair enough. Has it been difficult? Is that why you're in here?"
"Other than the fact that carrying your wolf's issue has literally made me sick, something else has... come up. I've been getting stomach pains every month, with increasing intensity, on nights with a full moon. Last night I had the dubious pleasure of feeling my child thrash within an inch of their life all through the night… in wolf form."
Remus buried his head in his hands. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. Severus kept stroking. The baby was quiet.
"Merlin's Beard…" Remus murmured. "I was afraid of this very thing happening. This is precisely why I wasn't going to have children. Severus, I'm so sorry. I never intended-"
"What you intended makes no difference now. The child has your condition, and that's that."
Remus looked miserable. "I'm so sorry. That poor child… I'll do anything to make it up to you."
"I don't want anything from you, Lupin. I wasn't going to tell you at all, but there is a chance the child might need your assistance. Beyond that, I'll raise the child myself." All thoughts of giving the baby up for adoption had flown out of his head the past month. Possessiveness had snuck in and taken root.
"I'll do anything I can. It's my fault, it's my baby-"
"No," Severus snapped. "They're mine. You have no claim on this child. Your wolf may have put it in me, but that is the extent of it. I'm the one carrying them, I'm the one who will give birth to them, and I will be the one raising them. You have done quite enough."
Remus looked hurt, but pressed on. "I could help with child support-"
Severus scoffed. "You can barely take care of yourself. I have steady employment, I'll be fine."
"Then I'll help with their condition," Remus insisted. "It's a lonely life, having everyone afraid of you, no one wanting to touch you, like you're contagious. Transforming every month is a painful, terrifying experience, no matter how many times you do it. Even if you give them all the love in the world, they'll need to know that someone knows what they're going through. Even if it's the same dumb wolf that gave them their condition in the first place."
Severus thought for a minute, secretly stroking his belly under the blanket. He knew deep down, grudgingly, that he couldn't give the same support as someone who was like them. He would have to lock them up every month, lock up his child alone to deal with the pain of transformation. He'd already seen and felt the intensity of it happening inside him, and his baby would be too exhausted to move all day. They were safe inside him for now, but what about when they were older?
"I'm not giving you custody," he said quietly.
"I'm not asking for custody. They can be legally yours. You don't even have to name me as the other parent. All I'm asking is the right to visit them, just once a month. We can deal with the wolves together, so they won't be alone."
Severus knew he was licked. It wouldn't be right to make his child endure something painful and frightening all alone that he couldn't personally help with. "Fine. Monthly visitation only. And we don't tell them you're the other father."
Remus' shoulders relaxed. "Thank you, Severus."
"Hmph."
After a moment, Remus asked in a lighter tone, "So, do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"No. I'm waiting to find out." It sounded better than to admit he hadn't found out to avoid getting attached. Too late for that now.
"Have you picked any names?"
"Haven't decided yet." Which sounded better than to admit he hadn't even thought about it. Time to start thinking about it.
Remus nodded. "You're a brave man, Severus. And kind."
"No I'm not."
"You're keeping a werewolf baby who already transforms inside you every month. Not everyone would be willing to do that."
"... I know something about being different and alone."
"So long as they have your understanding and care. You'll be a good father."
Severus wasn't sure. The doubts lingered, even if the desire had grown.
"Get out. I'm tired."
Lupin got up without a word, leaving Severus stroking his belly as he tried to get some rest.
"For your sake, little one, he had better come through. But even if he doesn't, and I imagine he won't, I am here for you. I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

It was nerve wracking for Severus not to feel the baby move all day, missing the little nudges and kicks he usually felt every now and then. He'd needed Pomfrey's assurance a few times that the baby was still alive before he left the hospital wing, in exchange for the promise that he would be back for observation next month. Each transformation needed to be monitored until they were born. Only a few more left.
Whenever he passed Lupin, he wouldn't even look at him. Just because he'd told the sire about the baby didn't mean he had to trust him. With any luck, he could learn what he needed from Lupin about caring for a lycanthrope, then ditch him before things could go south. He was not about to put his child's welfare in the paws of an idiot who couldn't always be bothered to take his rare, expensive, time-intensive potion to make himself less dangerous. Hopefully the werewolf gene was the only dominant one the baby had inherited from their sire, and they would take after their bearer more.
He was quite relieved when the baby resumed squirming the next day.

As Severus feared, Lupin was watching him all the time now, aware that beneath the glamor of a slender figure, Severus was swelling with his biological child. Lupin was opening doors for him, pulling out chairs for him, watching him come and go, asking if he needed anything, which quickly grew tiresome for the expectant father.
"Will you stop?" he hissed under his breath as Lupin held a door open for him again.
"I'm trying to be helpful."
"You are hopeless at subtlety. Everyone is going to assume there is something between us."
"Well, there is someone between us," Lupin said, nodding at the hidden belly between them.
Severus rolled his eyes and stalked through the door. Lupin followed.
"It is unnecessary to treat me like porcelain. I'm fine."
"I can't be nice to the mother of my cub?"
"Shh!"
"We teachers can't be nice to each other?" Lupin amended as a knot of students went by.
"Nice is one thing. Smothering is another."
"I'm not smothering."
Severus ducked into an empty classroom, Lupin right behind. Once the door was locked and a silencing charm cast, Severus impatiently rounded on the lycanthrope.
"Listen here,” he hissed. “Just because I've given permission for you to help the child does not mean you get to coddle me. I've taken care of myself my whole life, and I've taken care of this child for 7 months without your blatant meddling. If you don't back off, I will rescind my permission."
Lupin stood there maddeningly calm, hands in his pockets. "You're really not used to anyone doing anything kind for you, are you?"
"I wouldn't know," Severus snapped. "Certainly not from the wolf who nearly killed me once then knocked me up later."
Lupin looked chastised, which made Severus feel a little better. "Alright, then what would genuinely help you?"
"To be left alone. Unless and until the child needs you, I don't require anything from you."
"Then I don't suppose you'd like my opening the question of my being there for the birth?"
Severus' eyes narrowed in suspicion. "No."
"Hear me out, Severus. I've been thinking-"
"How highly ambitious of you."
Lupin grinned self-deprecatingly and let it go. "I know I won't be around for them besides full moons, and I'm not asking for more involvement in their life. But this will be my only biological child, and I thought it might be nice to at least be there when they're born. If only for the memory."
Severus scoffed. "How terribly sentimental."
"Yes, I know, but just consider it. I won't be raising them, and I at least want to be there when they enter the world."
"... It won't be quick, and it won't be glamorous."
"That's fine."
"I mean it." Even though this would be his first birth, Severus had done plenty of research on the subject through the years ever since finding out he was a bearer. "It will be a long, bloody affair. I may choke you to death before the climax."
Lupin smiled bashfully. "I'm willing to take that chance. I suppose I'd have it coming."
"You would." Then Severus dropped his gaze. "I... I won't be at my best. I don't know… how well I'm going to handle it."
Lupin caught the unease and fear that Severus ordinarily hid beneath sarcasm, recognizing he might not want an audience while he was feeling vulnerable. "I wouldn't either, honestly, if I was in your place. I meant what I said, about you being very brave. If you'd rather not have me watching, I understand. But I'll try to do whatever you need to make it up to you, even if it's just using me as a punching bag. I just, I would like to see them once they're born. That's all."
Severus was silent, eyeing him suspiciously.
"I wasn't in the room when Lily had Harry, but I got to hold him the next day. He was so small and red and fragile, I was terrified of hurting him. I thought that holding my best friend's baby was the closest I would ever get to holding a child of my own. It always seemed irresponsible for me to ever sire a child, and then finding out that there’s one on the way… I got worried, and I may have overreacted. I’m sorry."
Severus cursed his hormones as he blinked back tears. If he started crying in front of Lupin he'd have to kill him. "I may take you up on that punching bag offer," he growled instead.
Lupin smiled a little. "That's the spirit."
“And no amount of sucking up is going to change anything. I still hate you.”
“I understand.”
After that, Lupin toned down his following Severus around and trying to do everything for him. He would simply ask every now and then how he was doing, and Severus would give veiled answers in case anyone overheard. They ended up with a code of sorts they used in public.
"How is progress on your project?" Lupin asked at dinner.
"Going swimmingly." Severus felt the baby rolling around as he took another bite of his roast. He was craving red meat a lot these days.
"Have you thought about what to name it? After yourself, perhaps?"
"Hardly. I'm narrowing it down."
"Any supplies you still need to get?"
Severus wasn't going to admit that nothing had been done to prepare for the baby's arrival, since he'd only recently decided to keep them. "This and that. I'll be fine."

Chapter Text

When he reached 8 months, Severus wondered if the baby was going through a growth spurt.
"You've never grown this fast before." He ran a hand over his very pronounced belly, seeing his increased girth in the mirror. It seemed he was expanding overnight, growing heavier by the day. He critically eyed the stretch marks running across his sides. There was nothing for it now; not even magic would make those disappear.
Pomfrey noticed his increased size as well when she examined him.
"They seem to be shooting up lately." She patted his belly after measuring his height.
"Really, I hadn't noticed."
"Babies gain most of their weight in the 3rd trimester, so it's not so surprising, but you're measuring ahead. I would say they're about 7 pounds now, and probably bigger by the time they're born."
"Is that bad?"
"No, but it may mean more discomfort in the meantime. So long as they don't jump to, say, 10 lbs, you'll be fine. And even if they did, we'd make it work. Since they are part werewolf, however, it may very well be normal for them to come out large. It's unfamiliar territory."
Severus sighed, gazing at the large bump in front of him. He was already uncomfortable, and he had 2 more months before he reached 40 weeks, unless he went into labor first.
"But they're alright?" he asked.
"Yes, they're just fine. You're both doing well. Now, about the full moon…"
Ah yes, the erumpent in the room. "I will be here the evening before."
"Good. I was trying to think if there's anything we could do to ease the baby's discomfort, and yours by extension. I thought about a diluted version of wolfsbane, but…"
Severus was already shaking his head. "It contains aconite, harmful in any dose. It doesn't work without it."
"Right. Everything I've thought of might cause more harm than good. Even a mild sedative might prove too much."
"Why?"
"Because babies are fragile, Severus, especially before they're born. I'll keep looking, but for now I'm afraid we just have to let them thrash it out."
He looked to his belly again. She saw his concerned expression.
"We'll do all we can to keep them safe, Severus. I promise."

The day of the full moon, Lupin spoke to Severus before they went to their separate accommodations for the night.
"Good luck to you both," said Lupin. "I hope it's not too rough on you."
"That remains to be seen."
"You're worried, aren't you."
It wasn't a question. He saw Severus' hand pressed against his stomach.
"Each month, it gets worse."
"I'm sorry, Severus."
"... Is there anything that helps calm you, during the process?" He wouldn't have cared two straws, not for Lupin's sake, but for the sake of his child he needed to know.
"You might think this silly, but a little lavender helped, back in the day. Lily would pick it for me. Course, after she was gone…" Both men drifted in memories for a minute before Lupin went on. "But mostly, having my friends there helped. So I didn't feel alone."
Severus scoffed. "How terribly soppy."
"Yes, I figured you'd think so." Lupin smiled. "See you after, then."
"Hmph."
Severus wasn't even sure why he was doing it, but he found himself waddling outside to pick some wild lavender. Of course, the tricky part was how to reach the plants on the ground without falling over. He slowly managed an awkward, wide squat he knew must look hysterically undignified, but he was finding out there really wasn't anything dignified about pregnancy to begin with. After plenty of huffs and puffs and a few close calls of losing his balance, he gradually staggered up to his full height again and rubbed his back with a groan, a bunch of fresh lavender in hand.
"The things I do for you, child." But he was tenderly stroking his stomach as he waddled back, feeling the baby move and kick as they should.
After dinner he went to the infirmary and Pomfrey led him into the private room. He conjured a little vase for the lavender, ignoring Pomfrey's look as he arranged the stalks.
"Lupin said it helped."
"I didn't say anything."
He took an experimental sniff - it was a bit soothing - then removed the glamor and prepared to go to bed, hoping to get some rest before the moon rose. He fell asleep holding his belly.
Hours later he was jolted awake as the baby started thrashing. He grit his teeth, seething at the discomfort of a little body fighting inside him.
"Poppy!"
She was already there, setting up monitoring spells. "Does it feel worse, Severus?"
"Yes! Ouch!" He leaned over and made himself take deep breaths to inhale the scent of the lavender, gripping the bed and wincing at the strong kicks of his cub.
Pomfrey watched the image of the cub as it slowed down a little, though still wrestling with itself. "I think it's making a difference, Severus. Try to keep yourself calm."
He could feel the effects for himself and kept inhaling the plant slowly and deeply, willing his heart rate not to spike and worry his cub. They kept up their kicking and poking and twisting all night, but it was less frantic.
When the moon set, the kicking stopped. They watched as the cub in his womb morphed into human form and went to sleep. Pomfrey double checked their vitals.
"They're alright for now. The lavender helped somewhat, but not as much as I'd hoped. It still took a lot out of them. We may need to discuss inducing labor."
"What? Why?" Severus was rubbing his sore belly.
"Even with the lavender, if it gets more intense each month, it could become more than they can handle. If they go into distress, an immediate delivery is the only option, so it might be better to deliver the usual way before the full moon, before you're officially due."
Severus had been keeping track, and knew there was a full moon just before he hit 40 weeks. Ordinarily he would be waiting it out by then for labor to happen on its own, but it might not be feasible in this case.
"When you say immediate delivery, rather than the usual way…?"
"I mean having to cut you open, instead of you laboring and pushing like normal."
Severus gulped. Even labor sounded better than being sliced open. "Would delivering early hurt them, with less time to develop?"
"Ordinarily, I would agree that they should have all the time in there that they need, but these are special circumstances. Delivering right before your due date shouldn't harm them; babies born much earlier can still do fine. I just don't want to risk them getting so overwrought that they hurt themselves beyond repair."
A chill went up Severus' spine as her meaning sank in. He would much rather deliver a bit early than risk losing his baby. "Alright. How does it work?"
"The right potion will get labor started. I'm sure you can handle that part. I'll give you the recipe."
He felt a little more confident. He could brew the perfect potion, no problem.
"We'll play it by ear, depending on how it goes next month, but let's be prepared for all circumstances, so have it ready by then."
"Very well."

Lupin came to Severus’ room that day, as both of them were recovering from the previous night. He pulled a chair up to the bed and weakly sat down, spotting the lavender still in the vase. “I see you tried my suggestion. How did it go?”
Severus was reclined with his arm over his belly, where the baby would be sleeping all day. “It had a mild effect over what would have been a worse fit than last month. Poppy is discussing inducing labor before my due date.”
“Is that bad?” Lupin asked, genuinely unaware.
“It’s not ideal, but preferable to the alternative. She said if this pattern continues… it may become too much for them.”
Lupin’s face fell. “I’m sorry, Severus. That’s a frightening situation.”
Severus wasn’t in the mood for his pity. “I’ve been in frightening situations before. I will manage, and I will ensure that we both come out of this alive.”
“I’m sure you will.” Lupin didn’t ask him to elaborate on his previous frightening experiences, assuming he meant the baby’s conception. “I don’t suppose there’s anything you need me to do?”
“None whatsoever, besides taking your wolfsbane so this never happens again.”
“Of course. I’ll be more diligent from now on.”
“You had better, or else.”
Lupin didn’t need to ask what Or Else meant.

Severus stood over his cauldron, stirring the required number of times, clockwise. The potion for inducing labor was almost ready. He had done his research on how it worked, how it would trigger contractions and cause his body to initiate the labor process. From there, he should be able to give birth the usual way. Naturally, he had taken one look at the recipe from Poppy and made some necessary alterations that would increase its effectiveness and safety.
There was a sudden kick, and he smiled. The increasing strength of the kicks was an uncomfortable yet welcome assurance that the baby was alive and well. He dreaded the day after full moons just as much as the night of, when he wouldn’t feel anything all day; he always worried that this time the baby wouldn’t bounce back. But they were proving to be hearty and resilient, and Severus knew they got that from him. They were both survivors, able to withstand whatever was thrown at them.
He added the last ingredient, stirred it in, and set the brew to simmer. In 6 hours, it would be ready.
"Now then. Let's see to your things." He left his lab and tried not to waddle as he went down the dungeon corridors towards the stairs. There was still a bit of shopping left to do.
He came across a few Slytherin students whispering to each other.
"For the past few months, they've missed classes on the same day! You really think it's a coincidence?"
"It's gotta be - There can't be anything between them."
"Maybe it's some teacher thing."
"But then all of them would be out and we'd have a free day!"
"Sometimes I see them talking to each other, all quiet. Like they're up to something."
"No way. You think?"
"I doubt it."
They flinched at the low drawl behind them, and whirled around to see their head of house with a scowl and his arms folded.
"Classes are over. Get to your common room before I take points. And I had better not hear you gossiping about the faculty again. Am I clear?"
"Yes sir."
They hurried off to the Slytherin dorms. Severus watched them go before he resumed walking, worried about his reputation. If people were noticing that he and Lupin were out of commission on the same days, it was inevitable that they would start theorizing as to why, and come up with all the wrong ideas. It wasn't desirable, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. Not until the child was born and… he would still be out the same day, taking care of his exhausted baby and recovering from the birth. He sighed in frustration, unsure there was any way he could squash the rumors.
He reached the stairs and groaned with dread. He hated this part. Slowly, he lumbered his way up, knowing he would be exhausted by the time he reached the top, nevermind when he reached Hogsmeade.
A couple hours later back in his quarters, he removed the glamor, letting himself waddle and rub his back as much as he needed. A nap was needed, but there was still more to do. In his room, he set down his new purchases and glanced over the baby things he'd bought the previous weekend and hadn't done anything with yet. Only the basics - some nappies, bottles, clothes, blankets, a crib. It should be sufficient supplies for a newborn; if he needed anything else along the way, he’d get it then. For now he only needed the essentials on hand in case he did have to deliver early.
Of course, he wasn’t sure what else one might need for a werewolf baby.
“Perhaps a dog collar with a little name tag for you to wear on full moons, in case you get out?”
He got a sharp kick in response.
“Oof! Bad joke, you are right. Let’s start with the crib.”
Severus spent the evening setting up the crib and deciding where to place it. It made him feel a bit more prepared, like he might actually be ready to have his baby soon. Physically he felt ready - despite his worries about the baby getting enough time to develop properly, he was tired and uncomfortable carrying around a child who was steadily growing heavier and stronger.
"Not that being strong is a bad thing." He patted his belly. "You're going to need it."
They would both need strength in the task ahead of them, and the years after. Severus wondered again if he had what it took. Despite knowing for most of his life that he was a bearer, he had never seriously thought he would be able to have a child. Not when everyone seemed to find him so disgusting (and him being disgusted with everyone). This pregnancy had taken him by surprise in so many ways, yet he was more determined than ever to make it work. Raising a lycanthrope would be challenging, to say the least, but Severus was not one to shy away from challenges simply because they were difficult. To have someone of his own, someone to love and protect, he would do whatever it took.

Chapter Text

"How is your project coming along?" Lupin asked when he came across Severus in the hall.
"It's weighing on me." Severus held his back as he went by. With his glamor on, no one could tell that he was bigger and heavier than ever as he neared 36 weeks. Pomfrey said the baby was already 8 pounds.
Severus kept walking, and Lupin followed. He'd noticed that Severus was avoiding him more than usual lately.
"I know you must be cross with me. You wouldn't have had to do this project if it wasn't for me. It must be difficult."
Severus said nothing, hoping he would stop yammering and go away. He didn't want to feed the rumor mill that there was something going on between them. But Lupin kept trailing after him like a remorseful dog. Rolling his eyes, Severus went into the teacher's lounge, knowing it was likely to be empty at that time of day. Lupin followed him in.
"Not that I expect you to understand the art of subtlety," Severus drawled as he sat down with a groan, "but has it not occurred to you what it looks like, having you tailing after me, whispering together, missing the same days of class?"
"Yes, I've been hearing the rumors too, and I have denied any allegations that there is anything going on between us."
"Your denials will mean nothing if you persist in following me around."
"Well, I'm sorry. You've been avoiding me even more lately, and I just wanted to know how you and the cub were doing."
"I am doing my best to keep this child alive, prepare for their arrival, and squash the disgusting notion that you and I are together in any capacity. Forgive me if I have not had the time to dote on you," Severus snapped.
"I'm not asking for special attention." Severus snorted. "I know you have a lot on your plate because of me, so if you resent me -"
"I do."
"Then I can't say I blame you. I hope you and the baby aren't struggling too badly?"
Severus had been keeping his hands on his glamored stomach. "We're fine. They're growing like a weed and kicking me black and blue. Depending on how it goes this month, I may deliver them early before the next full moon."
"Then they'll be here soon. That's exciting."
"That's one word for it." Severus maintained his outward aloofness, but he was gently running his fingers over where he was feeling twitches of movement.
Lupin noticed, but only smiled and didn't point it out.

Severus finished gathering the herbs he needed in the greenhouse and started walking back to the castle, trying not to waddle. He felt huge and had less than a month to go. He was so close to meeting his baby and he couldn't wait, for more than one reason.
Suddenly he heard screams, like one of the students was frightened. Heading towards the sound, he saw the Trouble Trio being accosted by a big black dog about to pounce.
"You three! Get in the castle, now!” he barked, pointing his wand at the dog.
"But professor -!"
"I said now!" He was in no mood for arguing, and there was no time. As the trio scurried towards the castle, the dog snarled and leapt after them. In Severus' direction.
His heart leapt in his throat, but there was no way he was letting this filthy mongrel harm his baby. He immediately cast a strong shield that the dog bounced off of and sent it to the ground. It started scrambling to its feet, but Severus was a formidable duelist, heavily pregnant or not, and he was not about to lose when he had a cub to protect. He magically bound the dog's legs together as it struggled and barked, then added a muzzle for good measure.
He looked it over from a safe distance, wand pointed. He'd been hearing reports of a strange dog on the grounds, but he hadn't paid much attention. He'd had more important matters on his mind, like dealing with bumbling werewolves, the threat of an escaped convict, and preparing for his baby and keeping them alive. This was likely just a feral dog that had wandered too close, desperate for food.
The dog kept struggling against the ropes more desperately, and when it couldn't break free, it changed shape into a man. Severus stared. He could make out muffled words behind the muzzle that was now slipping off a deranged human face.
"Snivellus, you idiot! You let him get away!"

Severus was beyond furious. This time he would really kill that wolf. Was he bound and determined to be as much of a hindrance and a hazard as possible, or was he really just that stupid?
Dumbledore had tried to keep it quiet, but already the students were talking about the big dog that had been caught on the grounds, no doubt from the Trouble Trio telling anyone who would listen. The stray dog that had turned out to be Sirius Black. A detail Lupin had conveniently hidden from everyone.
When Severus found Lupin in his otherwise empty classroom after a Defense lesson, he magically slammed him against the wall and pinned him there, not trying to be gentle. Lupin opened his mouth to speak, but Severus stormed up to him and pointed in his face, eyes blazing.
"You knew! You knew he was an animagus and said nothing! You allowed that psychopath to roam around freely, putting the students in danger, putting MY CHILD in danger! Just when I thought you couldn't make my life any more difficult, you do something like this!"
"I'm sorry, Severus. He was one of my best friends. I wanted to keep his secret, for old times' sake. I didn't think he would-"
"You didn't think! All you care about is defending your old cronies and your own mangy hide! I partly blame myself - I was too thick to put it together when you mentioned your friends staying with you during full moons. They were all animagi, weren't they? A little detail that you decided I didn't need to know to raise my werewolf child that YOU gave me!"
Lupin looked remorseful, but it only angered Severus further. "I'm sorry-"
"Shut up!!" Severus snarled through clenched teeth. "I am tired of constantly hearing how sorry you are while you deliberately make trouble for me! What did I ever do to you to deserve such strife?! It's not enough that you nearly killed me in school and then forcibly knocked me up, now you have to take it out on my child and threaten their safety as well?! No matter what you say, why should I believe you give a damn about anyone but yourself?!"
Lupin was at a loss for words, but Severus wasn't in the mood for any more excuses.
"You stay away from me. You stay away during the birth, and I'm about ready to keep you away from my child. Unless there's a full moon in the sky, I don't want to see your furry snout. Am. I. Clear."
Lupin nodded, and Severus stalked off, not bothering to release him.
He went straight to his quarters with a slam of the door and let the angry tears flow, not caring that hormones were making him so emotional. He was furious and hurt, and he wished he had strangled the wolf.
How could Lupin be so stupid, letting his mad crony rampage around unchecked, going after students, going after Severus while he was pregnant with his own cub? He didn't care at all, no matter what he said or how many times he apologized. Not that Severus had ever believed him anyway. He knew better. Yet this latest blow still hurt. After all these years the Marauders could still make him miserable, for no reason other than because they could. They'd picked on him and endangered him simply for existing, and now they endangered his baby too for apparently the same reason.
He angrily sobbed for some time, until he got it out of his system. He sniffled as he calmed down, rubbing his belly as he felt the baby squirming around.
"I promise… I won't let anyone harm you. If your idiotic sire does anything else to you, I will skin him and make him a rug for your nursery for us to walk on. That would make him useful for once."
He kept rubbing as he thought, taking shaky breaths as his mind cleared from the fog of fury. Lupin hadn't wanted him to know, but now Severus was very interested in learning how one became an animagus.

Chapter Text

Lupin didn't come see him before he went to the hospital wing on the night of the full moon. Severus didn't care. He was hardly thinking about the wolf as he waddled into the private room and set up for the night. The labor potion was put with the other supplies, and the lavender put in a conjured vase. He'd considered going without it, but in the end he'd decided a mild calming effect was better than none. After he had the baby, however, he was determined to become an animagus and stay with his child himself. He would make sure his child didn't have to depend on Lupin any more than necessary. Or at all.
Pomfrey did a preliminary exam first, once he was in bed.
"Their vitals look good. They're a little over 8 pounds by now, and likely more by next month - you're having a big one."
"Wonderful." He certainly felt every ounce. "If it goes well enough this time, will we still induce later?"
"I think so. Depending on how it goes tonight, I believe we'll induce labor a day or so before the next full moon. You only have a few weeks left at the most before you'll be meeting your baby face to face."
Severus figured he was as ready as he would ever be. The baby things were set up and waiting, and he was uncomfortable enough to look forward to holding his child in his arms instead of his belly.
He fell asleep feeling relatively good, but he dreamed about wolves and blood.
He woke up after dark with a jolt. The baby was thrashing hard, attacking everything in reach. He grit his teeth as he winced in pain; Pomfrey was already monitoring them, watching the wolf cub in his womb.
"It's as I feared. It looks worse."
"It feels worse! Ouch!" Severus leaned over and deeply inhaled the lavender's scent. But it only had a minimal effect. The cub slowed slightly as they kept kicking and nipping and writhing. It was so intense Pomfrey couldn't help wincing in sympathy as she saw lumps appearing in Severus' twitching belly from the ruckus within.
It continued through most of the night without letting up. Then one of Severus' deep breaths was cut off by a gasp. He'd felt a pop. The cub kept thrashing as a puddle formed in his bed.
"Poppy…!"
Her eyes were wide. "They broke your water!"
"Yes, I can tell!" he snapped, feeling the cub's writhing even more acutely without the cushion of water.
"So much for inducing labor! Whatever happens tonight, you're having a baby!"
Severus tried to keep calm, but his heart was racing from pain and worry. This was it. Weeks earlier than even their early date, almost a month from their due date, his baby was coming.
Something went off in Pomfrey's monitoring spells, and she frowned. The cub's thrashing increased for a second, then slowed to a sluggish rate, which worried him even more.
"Oh dear," Pomfrey murmured.
"What?! What's happening?!"
"Their vital signs are dropping! No, crashing! They're in distress!"
Severus' heart leaped into his throat. His baby was in danger! "Poppy, do something!"
She was already making hasty preparations. "There's no time for you to give birth naturally. If I don't deliver them now, they won't make it." She shoved a potion at him. "Drink this, it'll numb you."
Severus gulped it, already feeling numb with fear. He knew what she was doing - she was about to cut him open. He lay down and shut his eyes, not feeling her hand on his belly, or even the cub who had slowed to stillness. It frightened him to suddenly not feel them at all, as if they had vanished, but it would be far worse if they died inside him.
He didn't feel Pomfrey make the incision, but he felt faint tugging as she pulled the cub free. He heard her talking softly.
"Oh my…"
"Poppy, are they alright?" He wanted to open his eyes and see his baby, but he wasn't sure he wanted to see himself sliced open.
"I'm doing all I can to stabilize them. Don't bleed out on me."
"I will do my best."
A minute later, he felt tugging as she closed the incision.
"Take this."
He opened his eyes to see her holding out a vial of blood replenisher. He gulped it down quickly before demanding, "Where's my child?"
Pomfrey handed him a little bundle. "I'm afraid they're rather weak, but they're holding on like a trooper."
Severus looked at his newborn in his arms, a white wolf cub wrapped in a blue blanket with their eyes closed, occasionally squirming in a weak manner.
"Shhh. I have you. It's alright." He held his cub close to his chest, against his wildly beating heart. His cub whimpered, then settled a little.
"Shhh. You're with me. You're safe." He tried petting their head, furry and soft. They wiggled closer, whimpering.
"We've had it rough, haven't we. I know. We'll make it together. I just need you to hold on. You can do this. I've got you."
Severus held them close all night, murmuring and shushing, willing them to hold on. Now that he finally had his cub in his arms, he didn't want to let go, fearing they might give up if they left his embrace for even a moment. He couldn't give up on this cub he'd worked so hard to have.
When the moon went down, bringing the morning, his cub was still alive. Severus watched in fascination as his newborn cub morphed in his arms into a newborn baby. He took a quick peek under the blanket.
"I have a daughter."
Pomfrey was smiling. "Congratulations. She made it through the night, I think she has a good chance."
"Of course she does. She's mine. We're survivors." He kissed her head. Her birth had been a hectic, scary experience, like her conception, but now she was in his arms for him to hold, and he realized he was smiling. A proud, happy smile.
She blinked her eyes open, and he saw clear, bright eyes looking up at him, light blue.
"Well. And how are we feeling?"
She was making little noises as she pressed against him, mouth open. Pomfrey helped him position her so she could get her first milk.
"She's lovely, Severus."
He was beaming as he watched his baby girl nurse. "She is."
When she broke off, he smiled as she yawned, stretching tiny fingers. He let her wrap them around his finger, feeling reassured by her grip.
"Sleep, child. We've been through an ordeal. You will have to face the wolf the rest of your life, but I will be here to help you. Always."
She kept her tiny hand around his finger as she dozed off. He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep, unable to stop watching her, until he dozed off as well from exhaustion, still holding her.

That evening, Lupin timidly knocked at the door before peeking his head in. "Severus? I know you probably still want to kill me, but I wanted to make sure you were…"
He stopped as he saw Severus sitting in bed, holding a blanketed bundle in his arms. The quiet smile on Severus' face fell into a frown as he looked up at his visitor.
"Oh, it's you."
"Severus… You had the baby early?"
"Obviously." He held his newborn closer as Lupin came up to the bed. "She went into distress during the full moon. Poppy had to deliver her right away."
"But she's okay now?"
"Yes. She's sleeping it off."
Lupin looked at the tiny, sleeping face and smiled. "She's adorable, Severus." He blinked back tears.
"Alright, don't get mawkish. You've seen her, now get out."
"Severus, I know I messed up-"
"That is putting it mildly."
"I've given it a lot of thought, and you were right. I had no business protecting a dangerous felon for the sake of an old friendship, instead of protecting my own cub. I put her in danger, I put you in danger, and I put the rest of the school in danger. Just as I did when I forgot to take the wolfsbane you generously brewed for me. I didn't tell you about the others being animagi for the same reason - I wanted to protect old friendships and memories, but that's not as important as helping the cub, and I am ashamed to say I didn't see that until recently. I can't say I regret this little one," he gestured to the baby, "but you are right that it can't happen again. I haven't exactly been very trustworthy, so I'm in no place to make demands. I would still like to help her during full moons, but if you want to revoke that too, I'll understand."
Severus listened with his eyes narrowed in distrust. "I don't need your help. You have done nothing to prove I can rely on you, even for the child's sake. Saving your own hide is clearly more important to you, and your carelessness is just as bad. I won't have my daughter hurt from being let down by someone she cannot depend on."
Lupin nodded sadly. "I understand. At least I know you're putting her first, since I can't. She's in good hands with you."
Severus watched without regret as Lupin headed for the door, then paused.
"Just one thing - May I at least know her name?"
Severus hesitated before deciding it would be harmless.
"This is Chiara."
Lupin smiled sadly. "That's a pretty name. Thank you."
Then he left.

The next day, Lupin was gone. He didn't show up for meals or classes, and Pomfrey didn't know where he was. No one knew. His quarters were empty, his office packed up. There was only a note on the desk saying that he resigned, that he was grateful for the opportunity but it was time for him to move on.
Severus felt no remorse or astonishment at the news. Let the cowardly wolf run away like he always did. It didn't matter.
"We don't need him, do we?" he said to his baby girl who was looking up at him as she lay on his chest, more awake in her second day of life outside the womb. He would spend the next few days in bed recuperating from surgery, holding his baby and feeding her and talking to her. "We will get on just fine without him. You'll see. Father will keep you safe." He kissed her. "It's just you and me."

Chapter Text

Epilogue - 12 Years Later

"Turn that junk down."
"What?"
Severus reached over and shut off the music player, ending the punk rock song. "You've been listening to that long enough."
"Don't you appreciate music, dad?" Chiara teased him.
"That does not qualify as music."
She smiled at her grouchy father. "What about the Weird Sisters?"
"No. Finish your homework."
"I'm about done."
"Let me see it."
She handed over her Defense Against The Dark Arts essay and Potions essay. He always looked over her assignments.
"Dad?"
"Hm?" He didn't look up as he scanned her work.
She hoped to talk to him about this while he was distracted, so he wouldn't get too upset. "I came across Mr Lupin the other day."
No such luck. Her father was scowling. He didn't like very many people; he liked Madam Pomfrey, and had willingly given his consent for Chiara to volunteer in the hospital wing, but he seemed to only tolerate everyone else. When it came to Mr Lupin though, it was clear loathing.
"He's awfully skinny, so I got him a snack. He said he'd be around for this month's moon."
"I keep telling you, child, you are not obligated to give him anything."
"I know, but he really looked hungry. I couldn't help it."
"You could have."
She lounged against the armrest of the sofa. "Will you ever tell me why you hate him so much?"
Severus looked up, his loathing melting into fondness as he gazed on his only child. "Perhaps when you are older. It is not a story for young ears."
"Was it that terrible?"
"Yes. And no."
"But you have your reasons." She had heard him say this a hundred times before.
"That I do. That will have to be enough for now. As well as an additional reminder that I don't want you alone with him."
"I know, but it was only for a few minutes."
"A lot can happen in a few minutes."
"So he can't join us for the full moon?"
Severus sighed. "Did you invite him?"
"No. I wanted to, but I know how you feel about it."
Her father was silent as he thought it over, obviously against it. Sometimes Mr Lupin joined them in the Shrieking Shack for full moons, but it wasn't very often. Not that she remembered his company or absence either way, even with her father's excellent potions that kept her calm - she always woke up in bed afterward with her father nearby. Whether Mr Lupin was there or not, her father always was, and that made her feel safe. He had become an animagus shortly after she was born, and she knew he had done it just for her to keep her and himself safe so he could stay with her during her transformations. No one in their right mind would mess with a giant python who had offspring to protect.
"Does he have anywhere else to go?" Severus asked reluctantly.
"I don't know. He doesn't tell me where he goes."
"Nor should he. That's none of our concern."
"But you know how hard it is, dad. If he's loose or gets found, someone could get hurt."
He groaned, and she knew she was gaining ground. "You don't have to brew any wolfsbane for him," she added.
"It's too late for that anyway." The full moon was tomorrow, no time for a week's doses. "And speaking of wolfsbane, you need to take yours today."
"I will." Her father brewed a cauldron full for her every month, and she drank a cup of it every day the week leading up to the full moon. It tasted awful, even with her father's improvements, but she knew transformations were far worse without it.
"Do it now."
"Okay." She got up and went to the kitchen for a goblet, then went to his private potions lab, easily finding the cauldron with her wolfsbane. She could identify it blindfolded by now. Trying not to smell it, she ladled the steaming potion into the goblet, held her breath, and gulped it down. Having had lycanthropy her entire life, she treated it as simply taking her medicine for a chronic condition, and knew how fortunate she was that her father was a brilliant potioneer who had access to the ingredients and the talent to brew it. Mr Lupin wasn't good at potions, he'd told her, and he certainly didn't have access to the ingredients, some of which were expensive or hard to find. But whenever she asked her dad about how much it cost to brew wolfsbane every month, he told her not to worry about it.
Knowing how hated werewolves were, she kept her condition a secret from nearly everybody, except for Headmistress McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey, who had actually been the one to deliver her right here at Hogwarts. But her father never made her feel bad about what she was. He always said it wasn't her fault. And he always did so much to help her and keep her safe. It made her wonder, though, why he despised Mr Lupin so much, who had the same condition she did. Was it simply favoritism because she was his daughter, or was it something else?
After she washed out the goblet, she came back to the living room and her father handed over her essays, corrected in his infamous red ink. She noticed her Defense essay was more red than her Potions essay. Being a potioneer's daughter had its advantages.
"So can Mr Lupin join us tomorrow?" she asked.
Severus huffed, and she knew he had been hoping she would forget. "Fine. But I will be there the entire time, and I will bite him if he does anything stupid."
He said that every time. "Thanks, dad." She hugged him where he sat in his old armchair. "You know I have to have you there with me, no matter what."
He gently patted her arm. "You are not getting rid of me so easily."

Chiara walked down the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack, a journey she'd been making as long as she could remember, longer than she had known how to walk, brought in her father's arms when she was little. He walked right behind her, as always, already on alert. He'd made sure she had a hearty dinner and plenty to drink before they left, as always - transformations took a lot out of her, and she needed her strength.
He had a hand on her shoulder as they entered the shack. It used to be run down and dusty, but since Chiara had started using it her father had fixed it up, not wanting her 'running around in filth.' It was clean and repaired, there was a decent bed, a large dog bed, and some chew toys on the floor (Chiara's idea).
Mr Lupin was there waiting. He gave her a smile.
"Chiara, good to see you. Thanks for the invitation."
"I'm glad you came!" she said brightly. "It's been a while."
"That it has." He turned to her father more solemnly. "Severus."
Her father gave a curt nod with one of his glares. "You know the rules."
"Yes, I do. I'll be good."
"You had better."
Chiara felt the tension of bad history between them, that one wrong move would result in curses flying. It had always been like this, but no one would tell her anything. Why didn't they get along?

Two werewolves howled as their transformations were complete, the full moon glowing through the cracks of the neatly trimmed boards covering the window. The bigger wolf, gray and brown, prowled around the shack, snarling and growling, while the smaller, white wolf sniffed out a chew toy and lay down to gnaw on it.
Severus minded what the bigger wolf was doing, but mostly he watched the smaller one. His little wolf. He'd been watching her transformations ever since she was born, and even before. His fear around werewolves was no longer for himself, but that someone might retaliate against his cub. But he was ready.
He lay coiled on the floor, a massive black python, alert and ready. Becoming an animagus had been plenty of work, but well worth it. He was able to stay with his daughter through every full moon without having to lock her up alone, and he could support her and protect her without Lupin around, as he preferred it. Lupin was rarely around anyway. All his earlier claims to be there for the cub, that she needed the support of a fellow wolf, meant little. Severus knew his daughter didn't need a careless coward who was more interested in old allegiances and saving his own furry backside than in helping his own biological child, and Lupin had made it clear by running away right after she was born and mostly staying away, rather than attempting to change. Every once in a while, though, he would show up again like a bad Knut, and his little girl was too kind to turn him away like she should. How Severus had gotten a child in Hufflepuff was beyond him, but at least no one dared to pick on the head of Slytherin's daughter, even if they whispered behind her back sometimes.
She was a good kid. A little too much like her sire sometimes with that soft heart, but she favored Severus as well - generally quiet, intelligent, had a nose for books, good with potions. She had begun expressing interest in becoming a healer, and Poppy said she was a big help in the infirmary, with a knack for healing spells. Severus was already proud of her. She was the apple of his eye, even when covered in fur. Like the first time he had held her.
When she was a baby, he had brought her here for full moons and watched her roll around as a fuzzy little cub, making high pitched snarls that only made him smile. When she had learned how to walk and run, she bounded on four short legs around the shack, yipping as she played, climbing all over her python father and sliding off his scales. Now that she was older and bigger, she was no longer the hyper little cub, though she still liked playing with her toys, but Severus still enjoyed watching her. He had many fond memories of their nights here, spending time with his cub and watching her grow. How was it going by so fast?
The gray and brown wolf started howling, arresting the python's attention. Something was outside the shack. He slithered over to the window and peeked through the boards. He hissed in frustration - someone in uniform was looking around, wand lit in the night. Someone from the Werewolf Capture Unit at the Ministry. They sniffed around Hogwarts every now and then, but McGonagall was usually able to quiet any (correct) suspicions that there was a lycanthrope on the grounds. What Severus hadn't failed to notice, however, was that they typically showed up around the same times Lupin did. That bungler was likely leading them right to their doorstep. Severus didn't care who he had to bite, no one was taking his cub away. He would sooner hand over Lupin, trussed up like a Christmas fowl. He was rather considering it.
His white wolf was busy happily tearing apart one of her toys, but the brown wolf started scratching and biting himself and howling from the pain, unable to get to the human outside. Severus had locked and magically secured the door before shifting into his snake form, but he was still anxious as the brown wolf started desperately throwing himself against the door, screaming and bloody. The white wolf looked up, her toy in pieces. She flattened her ears and started whining, sensing his distress. Severus slithered over and loosely coiled himself over her, his serpentine version of putting his arms around her. She calmed a little - she recognized him even in snake form - but she watched her fellow wolf nervously.
Severus was fairly certain the door would hold, and even if it broke, the brown wolf would be in the tunnel, not out in the open. Yet. He could still follow it onto the school grounds, and that would be a problem.
The brown wolf couldn’t break the door down, and resumed biting and scratching himself, screaming from his own fangs and claws. Severus’ new concern was the Werewolf Capture official hearing the commotion, finding a way into the shack and discovering the two werewolves inside. He didn’t care if Lupin got hauled away, but he couldn’t lose his daughter. Was there a way to make sure they only found Lupin?
The official followed the sounds of commotion, and eventually came across the shack. He circled around, noticing there were no doors. He tried peeking in the window but couldn't make out anything. But he heard snarling and howling from inside, which told him that he had found what he was searching for.
Severus covered Chiara with his coils as the window was blasted, shards and splinters scattering. The official climbed inside, looking around at the bloodied, growling brown wolf, the giant black serpent, and the small white wolf.
"What luck! I've found two!" He stepped towards the white wolf, wand raised, figuring he would go for the smaller one first once he took care of the big snake.
Severus wasted no time. He lunged, fangs out.

Chiara slowly resumed consciousness, hearing yelling from a familiar voice. Her father. Opening her eyes, she saw she was on the bed in the shack. Across the way she could make out her father, furiously berating Mr Lupin who was lying on the floor, groaning. Another body she didn't recognize lay nearby.
“You idiotic, dunderheaded, blundering mongrel!! Do you have ANY idea what you’ve done?! You led them right to us! Are you bound and determined to put my daughter in danger?? You couldn’t even have the decency to be hauled away so I never have to lay eyes on your mangy carcass again?”
“Severus… I didn't think-”
“No! I do NOT want to hear your excuses! I don’t care what you thought! I refuse to believe you’ve ever had a coherent thought in your entire miserable existence! Why can’t you stay away from us?! We’re getting on perfectly fine without you! She doesn’t need you putting her right in the line of fire! I ought to skin you alive and-!”
“Dad?”
He broke off mid threat, saw she was awake, and stormed over to her. “Let’s go. You need your rest.”
“What happened?” she asked softly as he carefully picked her up.
“I’ll tell you later.”
Judging by the storm cloud in his voice and the fiery brimstone in his eyes, she knew it was bad. She weakly waved goodbye to Mr Lupin, who was bloodied and weak, as her father carried her off.
Severus was barely restraining his temper as he carried his daughter through the tunnel, over school grounds, and into the castle. Once in his quarters, he immediately put her to bed in her room. She’d lived there since she was a baby until she was old enough to attend as a student and live in the dorms, and she always stayed in her old room before and after full moons so her dad could take care of her. At Spinner's End, their summer home as she called it, she naturally had her own room, where she and her father spent full moons.
“Did Mr Lupin do something bad?” she asked as her father tucked her in.
“Forget about him,” he said darkly. “What matters is you recovering.”
“I didn’t do anything, did I?”
“No. You were a good little wolf and destroyed another one of your toys.”
“Which one?”
“The rawhide bowtruckle.”
“Aww, I liked that one.”
“I’ll replace it.” He placed a slow kiss on her forehead. “Now sleep.”
She closed her eyes, easily falling asleep from exhaustion.
For the rest of the day she dozed deeply, safe in the dungeons with her father nearby. Severus tried to rest, having gotten no sleep last night either, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Lupin’s stupidity. He was as furious as ever, too worked up to sleep. Just when he thought Lupin couldn't do anything more, he found a way to make things worse. Severus had come far too close to losing his daughter, and he wasn't about to forget it anytime soon. She was all he had.
He would try again to get Minerva to ban the stupid wolf from entering the grounds. She chalked it up to old grudges, but he couldn't tolerate having his daughter put at risk of exposure again, even from her biological sire (not that Minerva knew who the girl's sire was). The thought of having his little girl hauled away and destroyed filled him with abject terror. He would rather kill first.
Ah, yes, as long as he was going to be awake anyway, he did need to inform Minerva about the body in the shack, and the bitten werewolf.

When Chiara woke up, it was dark. It was always dark in the dungeons, though, so that didn't tell her much. She reached over to magically light the lamp, then fell back in bed, still exhausted. At least after full moons she could sleep as much as she needed, and her father would excuse her from classes. He was good at coming up with believable explanations and covering up what he wanted hidden. She'd learned how to lie effectively from him (but she could never manage to fool him herself). The public explanation was that she had a chronic illness that flared up sometimes, which wasn't far from the truth. Kind of like the story of her family history.
The public story was that her mother had died in childbirth and Severus was raising her alone. Chiara knew the real story, inasmuch that technically, she was actually living with her mother. She knew that he had been the one to carry her, that she had broken his water in the middle of the night a month early, and Madam Pomfrey had delivered her and put her in his arms herself. His being a male bearer was his own secret he didn't want getting out, and they kept each other's secrets.
What she didn't know, what she could never get her father to tell her, was who her other parent was. He only said that they were a werewolf, which was how she had inherited her condition, that there had been no relationship involved, and that they'd only agreed on his being the one to raise her. She could only assume that it hadn’t been a happy union. It was probably why her father didn't like werewolves in general but adored her. Maybe Mr Lupin reminded him of her sire, and he didn't like facing painful memories. But surely it wasn't right for him to blame Mr Lupin for something he didn't personally have anything to do with, right?
"Dad?" she called out softly, knowing his sharp hearing would pick it up, unless he was asleep. Even then, he usually woke up anyway.
A minute later he came into her room. "What do you need, child?"
"I'm thirsty."
"Wait here." He left, soon returning with a little tray he set by the bed. There was a pitcher of water, a cup, and a snack. He poured the water, and she sat up to drink it.
"Dad, was someone else in there with us?" She remembered the other body in the shack.
"Don't worry about it," he said dismissively.
"Who was it?"
"It's been taken care of."
"... Did you bite him?"
"I didn't have much alternative."
"What happened last night?
He exhaled and sat on the side of her bed. She felt a little guilty about how tired he looked. "Someone from the Werewolf Capture Unit found us last night, courtesy of Mr Lupin."
Chiara instantly grew nervous. She knew all about the Unit, being warned about it by her father her whole life and sometimes seeing an official at Hogwarts trying to track down lycanthropes. "But, Mr Lupin would never bring the Capture Unit here."
"Perhaps not intentionally, but he nevertheless led one here by his carrying on and no doubt suspicious behavior. The official managed to get in, and I ended up having to dispose of him."
"Did you have to?" she asked quietly.
Her father grew grim. "He was heading straight for you. Had he gone for Lupin, I would have let him alone. But I couldn't let him take you."
She shivered. Her father placed a hand on hers. "I am sorry to tell you about it, but at the same time I don't have it in me to regret it, so don't expect me to feel sorry. No one is allowed to touch my cub."
It made her somber to know that her father had killed someone, but at the same time she knew he was entirely capable of it; he used to be a spy and even a Death Eater in his younger days, and he still had his old skill, now used for her benefit. He had always been fiercely protective of her, and his terrible temper was worst when he thought someone was threatening her or he was frightened over her.
Once, she had decided to try climbing a tall tree on the training grounds and a branch had snapped under her weight, making her fall. She'd thought her father was about to have a coronary, bellowing about how careless she'd been and how she could have killed herself and how he ought to ground her for a month. She'd only gotten a sprained wrist, but to hear him carry on, one would have thought she had snapped her neck, and she hadn't heard the end of it for quite some time. She had learned early on, though, that his anger in these cases was more about his being worried about her. Like his screaming fit from last night, probably.
"Is that why you were yelling at Mr Lupin?"
"Yes, because he was being an idiot and he put you at risk. That was inexcusable behavior, and he's fortunate that I didn't use my venom, as sorely as he deserved it."
"You're really hard on him, dad."
"Not hard enough, apparently."
"Why? It's not his fault he's a werewolf."
"No, but it is his fault for being irresponsible. You know to take your potion and to avoid the authorities and how to safely spend the full moon." He gave her hand a light squeeze. "But I know for a fact that he cannot always be relied upon to make himself safe. Or to protect others."
"And that's why you hate him?"
"... Yes. He may not be an evil werewolf, per se, but his incompetence makes him almost as dangerous. He has repeatedly proven himself untrustworthy, and I cannot rest easy when he is around you. After last night, I am ready to hex him on sight if he ever dares to show his snout here again."
Chiara couldn't help feeling a little sorry for Mr Lupin, but she was starting to see where her father was coming from. He didn't have much patience to begin with, and he couldn't spare any for anything he saw as a threat to his cub. He was definitely her mama wolf, though she knew he probably wouldn't appreciate the term.
"I won't invite him over anymore, if you want."
He relaxed a little. "Thank you."
She might still sneak him some food, but decided her father didn't need to know about that. She leaned in for a hug, and he held her close.
"I hope you realize, child, that I am not trying to make your life more difficult than it is. I swore when you were born that I would do whatever it took to help you, that I would keep you safe. You're my cub."
She breathed in her father's familiar scent, punctuated by the herbs he used in brewing and the soot from cauldron fire. Her earliest memories were of smelling her bearer with her tiny cub nose, recognizing his scent and voice and knowing she was safe. Even in his snake form she knew his scent, which helped calm her during full moons, knowing he was right there with her. She'd never faced a full moon alone, and she was grateful.
She might never know the full story of who her other parent was, why they weren't in the picture, but right now it didn't matter. Her fierce mama wolf was here, doing everything in his power to take care of her.
"I understand, dad."
"Good." He kissed her head and laid her back down. "Get some rest. There's food when you're ready for it."
"Thanks."
Her father tucked her in, and left the door a little cracked so he could hear if she called. She snuggled deeper into her warm blankets and closed her eyes.
Everything was alright.