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They rode in the car in silence. Which that in itself wasn’t abnormal they often drove through whole states without talking to one another. Sometimes because there is no need to talk to people you spend 24/7 with and sometime because they were pissed after being together 24/7. In those times they would even drive with no music just needing to listen to Baby’s gentle purr as the ate up asphalt. This silence however was not one of pleasant companionship or slight annoyance.
They had barely won their latest fight against the nasties lurking in the dark. Dean usually head banging in the drivers seat was slumped barely conscience in the back seat still bleeding from his wounds. Sam drove the Impala face bruised body curved inwards hinting at a cracked rib. Y/n sat in the passenger seat not fairing much better than the boys.
She was a little shell shocked after this job and couldn’t help but stare numbly at the road speeding by.
It had been what she had come to think of as a run of the mill salt and burn. Except there hadn’t been just one ghost but dozens. All very pissed off and very good at using that anger to physically maim each of them.
Y/n gave a little shutter leaning her head against the cool window. They had gotten to the bottom of the local ghost story as soon as they could but unfortunately some kids still got caught in the crossfire. Kids she promised she would keep safe. She closed her eyes letting the coolness of the glass and the vibrations of Baby calm her dark thoughts.
“We did everything we could.” Sam murmured from the drivers seat. Keeping her eyes closed she hummed quietly,
“I know.”
Sam shifted carefully in his seat trying to not aggravate his ribs. Failing miserably he hissed in pain squeezing words out through gritted teeth,
“We cant win them all.”
Y/n opened her eyes rolling them in his direction. She knew the hard bite to his words were due to his own pain and not any real annoyance but she was tired and it made it difficult to hold back her own harsh tone. Through her own gritted teeth she bites out another,
“I know.”
And she did know. She had been on enough hunts alone and with the boys to know that they couldn’t win every fight and that they couldn’t save every person. But this fight was different. Not only did they barely win but they lost innocent lives and almost lost their own. They had all almost died. On a simple fucking Salt and Burn!
She felt very human in that moment. Very fragile.
Even the big hulking boys seemed fragile tonight. For all the supernatural help they had received through the years they were still just humans easily killed. Stronger and better trained humans but still breakable aging creatures. They would slow down and eventual one day not move fast enough to save themselves. She shut that line of thinking down right away. They were all still young and strong and invincible.
Sam gave a little shake of his head clearing the tension and refocused on the road.
She sighed long and slow releasing her own tension. She was so very tired and ready to be alone.
“ Just tell me when we get to the motel. I just need a shower and a good cry and then I’ll be ready to kick ass again in the morning .”
Sam looked over at her sharply fresh worry on his handsome bloody face.
“We can talk more about it if that would-“
She cut him off mid sentence. She appreciated Sam’s desire to help talk problems out but tonight was not a night that she wanted to talk.
“Not know I just want a shower, a cry, and a bed.”
Sam fell silent his hazel eyes soft worried clearly debating if he was going to push the subject. Before he could open his mouth to say more the hear a quite barely coherent voice from the backseat rasp,
“ I’ve never seen you cry.”
She rolls her eyes snipping,
“Yeah its because I would never hear the end of it from you.” She paused thinking,” Plus I do it in the shower like a goddamn professional.”
Dean chuckled then groan in pain earning a slight smile from Y/n even if it felt a little bit forced.
Rolling his eyes Sam falls silent letting her rest her head back against the window. As much as she knew he wanted to talk more about what was truly bothering her he knew now wasn’t the time.
Sam pushes a clump of blood covered hair behind her ear stroking her cheek as he did so trying to wake her with out accidentally touching a patch of bruised skin. Her eyes slowly flutter open to see his still bloody and bruised face looking down at her.
“I need help getting Dean cleaned up. I would let you sleep on the car but you said you wanted a shower.”
Nodding sleepily in understanding she slowly unfolds her tired limbs to step out of the car to move the older Winchester into the motel. Their movement was glacier. Between Dean being almost dead weight and Sam’s clearly broken ribs bringing the big man inside was a test of wills that were already at their breaking point. Y/n just prayed to whoever was listening that nobody would bother paying attention to their slow bloody procession to the door.
Finally reaching the room they deposit the now fulling unconscious Dean on to one of the beds.
“ Go get into the shower I’ll patch him up a bit.”
Sam directed getting to work on that used to be Dean’s shirt.
She just nodded already walking towards the bathroom door. Her clothes had seen better days too. They were covered in dirt from digging up to many graves, blood from to many casualties and ectoplasm from to many godamn ghosts. Sighing she pealed them off her body tossing them into the trash as she went.
All in all Y/n had faired the best out of the three of them. Couple of cuts and scraps. A massive bruise on her thigh and a decent one to the jaw but nothing that would ultimately effect her long term.
Finishing her survey of the damage she tears her eyes from the bathroom mirror to step in the steaming shower.
As if a switch had flipped the dam holding back the worry, and grief, and rage inside her flipped as she tipped her head back into the spray of hot water. Without her permission the hot tears began to roll down her cheeks along with the water she bathed in cleansing her inside and out.
Once the blood and dirt and raw emotion had been washed down the drain she carefully stepped out of the shower wrapping her self in a huge fluffy towel. A luxury she always brought on the road with her and that Dean tried to steal. As if he couldn’t buy or steal his own damn towel.
Toweling dry she slips into a shirt that she had stolen from one of the boys years ago and padded out into the room.
Sam took in her towel wrapped hair and the to big t-shirt she had stolen from him and inwardly sighed at the sight. This was her. The woman he knew all to well not that defeated person in the car. He looked up at her red rimmed eyes and knew she hadn’t been just joking about needing to cry.
“How is he?” Y/n asked looking down at Dean. Sam had stripped I’m of his dirty clothes while she was in the shower. He now laid shirtless with a pair of pajama pants with little cats with bowties all over them. She couldn’t help the smile that began to tug at he corners of her lips.
“He’ll be fine. The cuts have finally stopping bleeding and anyway he’s like a roach nothing kills him.” Sam gave a slight smirking hoping that needling Dean would finally bring that smile out. It worked with a snort Y/n smiled again.
He got up from his spot on Dean’s bed gathering clothes for his own shower as she settled into the remaining bed. She thought about reading while he showered but she found herself to tired to keep her eyes open. Before she knew it Sam was tugging her book out of her hands and sliding into bed next to her.
Normally he would have pulled her body weight onto his chest and stroked her back until they both drifted off to sleep but with his rib he unfortunately had to settle for taking her hand in his. Bringing it to his chest he stroked the back with his thumb.
“You ready to be an ass kicker again?” He asked teasingly trying to keep his real worry out of his voice.
Sighing sleepily and squeezing his hand she quietly responded,
“Tomorrow… After I sleep for at least a whole day.”
With that she pulls his hand to her mouth to gently press a kiss to it before holding it to her own chest as she drifted back asleep.
Sam’s heart ached wanting to reassure her that tomorrow would be better and brighter but he couldn’t guarantee that. But he vowed that even if their days weren’t easy they would at least weather them together. With that that Sam let his aching body slip off into sleep.