Chapter Text
Luz woke up feeling groggy and dizzy. She hummed and growled trying to move herself to no avail. Her body was encompassed in a warm and fluffy feeling, that soothed all her various pains, and created a state where she just couldn't get herself to move a single muscle.
After a feeble and quite literally pathetic attempt at breaking free, Luz resigned herself to her fate and Laing still once more, she tried to make sense of her surroundings.
Blinking the dizziness from her vision away she quickly learnt that she was on the couch, in the living room of her house.
“What is happening?”
She asked, wincing in surprise at how hoarse and rough her voice was, like she had just cried a lot or had sand rasping in her throat.
“Shhh,”
Came a response, together with the warm and soothing feeling of someone playing with her hair. The voice extremely familiar to her.
“It’s okay, mija, you are ok now.”
“Mami?”
She asked while trying to sit herself up. Which she found was really difficult to do so when your body wasn’t exactly listening to you. She made it though, with her mother’s help. Now she could see, with a bit of surprise and another of confusion, the situation around her.
Together with her in the big couch of the living room, were her Mamá, her Girlfriend Amity and her adopted Basilisk sister, Vee. Around said couch, in chairs brought right from the dinner table, her friends Willow and Gus, with her, pseudo-quasi-officially adopted brother, Hunter, being the only one standing he seemed to be pacing around before but stopped now that he noticed she was awaken.
All of them looked worse for wear.
Gus was dejected, his eyes glued to the ground and he looked a little out of it, trying not to think about something, Willow had a fierce scowl in her face, two times the size of the ones she normally reserved for Boscha and her cohort, both looked very uncomfortable and bumped out by something, Willow especially, whoever angered her better pray to get out of it alive.
At her side, Vee seemed anxious, fidgeting with her fingers and moving her weight from side to side, apparently not entirely sure about what she should be doing and trying her best to appear as small and inconspicuous as possible. Completely opposite to the basilisk girl was Hunter, whose eyes were stern and serious his posture rigid like when he was still the Golden Guard, out to fulfill a mission. Luz hated seeing Vee and Hunter this way, both regressing to their old habits, to their ways of coping through trauma.
Then, to one of her sides, with a completely destroyed make up, looking at her like she could disappear at any moment, was Amity, eyes puffed like she had been crying just now, one hand held a magic circle the other held Luz, with a vice grip that few could achieve.
Finally, on her last side, warping an arm around her torso was her Mami, Camila, very deep eye bags on her face but a soft expression that was betrayed by how tense and tired the rest of her appeared. She looked at Luz with a smile, but she could tell how tense it was.
“What happened…?”
Luz asked, but stopped mid phrase, when she finally could feel her arms and legs better enough to understand that they weren’t simply asleep, they seemed stuck. Looking down at herself, Luz saw that she was wrapped around in blankets, said blankets held firm by a vine wrap.
Fear gripped her heart, fear and panic.
“W-what is this!?”
“Mija.”
She looked to the side, her mother looking seriously at her.
“This is an intervention.”
“What?”
Luz asked with a low voice. Looking around her mind, she tried to understand what this was all about. And then it all came back to her…
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Chaos.
That’s the only way the events of the last night could be described.
Luz was in a bad head space, had been since before they had been stranded on Earth, everyone on the house knew about that unspoken truth even if they pretended not to. On that specific day though, was when things got out of control.
The weight of the guilt she was caring was amplified by the recent failed attempt at building a portal, she wasn’t getting sleep because of that, which prompted her to not be aware during most classes, being called stupid and an idiot by students and teachers.
The last drop was when some of her classmate’s decided that only going for the vocal provocation wasn’t enough and started to get physical. She received their blows without any resistance, even if she could have bended them all with an arm roped around her back.
Under their boots and punches she didn’t retaliate, she didn’t feel like she should. On the opposite, the whole situation felt different for her them one would normally expect.
Each attack she suffered, each flare of pain, each scrape in her skin, it all felt deserved, earned, It all felt right, like she was finally paying back a bit of the suffering she had caused.
She had felt this way before, after her Papi died and when she noticed how much of a burden she was on her mother; on those times pain was the only thing that could calm her aching heart.
So, after passing through the rest of the school day and making her best to hide her wounds from everyone in the house, she on that night, took one of the razors out of her hiding places, she still had them even if it was months since she tried to do anything like this, the last time was after her book presentation.
And before she could even think about anything besides the righteous pain, she was already with the blade deep into action, purging her sins and making justice for those who suffered by her actions.
However, something was different this time around, when Luz made the first cut, still feeling the pain from the assault she suffered that morning, it downed on her that it wasn’t enough.
Simplest cuts, a few bruises, a broken bone or two, none of that would help her pay the debt she owned to the millions that were probably dead because of her. No, this time she had to go higher.
Willow found her like this, a vacant expression in her eyes, bruises littering her body, a whole bunch of cuts in her writs, and a blade ready to slice her throat off. To say hell broke loose was a blasted understatement.
The night followed half with the whole family trying to contain Luz and the other trying to treat her the best they could without aggravating her wounds, two tasks that proved very difficult when she knew the house and the witches better them anyone else.
After half an hour of running around, a combination of Gus illusions and Hunters teleport distracted her enough for Amity and Willow to contain her.
She was really out of it by that point, and fought them off the whole time while they tried to care for her. She only stopped when the tiredness and the blood loss took hold and she fell unconscious.
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The memories coming back at full force made her eyes widen. She looked at her mother now with renewed fear and desperation. They knew, they all knew how week she had been how utter coward she had been. Her friends and family expressions now had known meaning in her mind, they weren’t just tired, they were angry, annoyed, pissed, she had finally done it, she got over the edge, and now everyone was about to left her…”
“Mami I-im…”
Luz started talking, trying to mend at least a bit of the damage she had made but was quickly interrupted by Camila, who raised a hand motioning her to wait.
“Mija. You don’t have anything to say sorry for, in fact, we are the ones who want to apologize.”
Luz turned her head confused.
“What?”
Camila nodded.
“We saw your video diaries Mija.”
Luz eyes shrilled to the sizes of pinpricks, her chest heaved a bit and she could start to feel the panic swirling, ‘they saw the videos, they saw what you did’ she though. Vee noticed the change immediately, and rises to the saving.
“It wasn’t on purpose though, it was already open and we put it to play by accident!”
Them, she looked to the side guiltily.
“And when we saw what it was about, we just couldn’t stop, we became worried, only mom and I saw it though.”
That was enough to prevent an attack on Luz, but everyone could see that she was the farthest away from calm. Burying her head on Camila’s shoulder, Luz was kept from spiraling too much only by the woman and Amity rubbing circles around her back, the contact being soothing and giving her something to focus, other them her traitorous mind.
“It’s ok Bebe, you are ok, no one is mad with you, do you want a break, a cup of water?”
Luz still heaved a little, but answered the best she could, with a small and feeble voice that broke everyone’s hearts.
“A, a cup of water please.”
Camila nodded to someone who she couldn’t see from down on her Mami’s shoulder, and half a minute later, there was a cup of water in front of her. She looked a bit embarrassed when she forgot she was wrapped and tried to take it. Camila only answered with a kind smile and a helping hand for her to drink the water.
After she was done, her mother put her back on the sofa, a hand still wrapped around her, and continued her talk.
“Me and Vee, we have a talk some weeks ago, after your visit, we wanted to tell you ever since you came home, but we never found the right moment. I, no, we are so sorry Luz.”
Luz perked up at that. Vee nodded.
“I shouldn’t have said you had it good without knowing what you had been through, or tried to throw your things away Luz, I was scared and afraid and… I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”
Vee shrunk into herself, Amity put a comforting hand on her shoulder. On the other side, Camila started talking.
“Me too querida, I knew you were trying so, so hard, but seeing you suffer so much day by day and not being able to do nothing to help…”
Camila was tithed her knuckles in frustration.
“I couldn’t help you, and when someone said they could, I believed them, even though I should have stayed by your side, I was a coward and I hurt you, I-I’m sorry Mija.”
“Noooooo!”
Luz shout suddenly, all looked at her with surprise, and a bit of worry, fearing another outburst. In the girl’s face desperation coated every beat as she looked from her mother to her adopted sister.
“You were right Vee, you suffered so much and had finally found something good, someone good, and I ruined it, I came back, I tried to relate when I had it so much better, you were right, I shouldn’t have come back.”
Vee was bewildered. But she didn’t have time to react, for Luz wasn’t finished.
“And Mom, what are you saying!? I made life so much difficult for you, always getting into trouble, pushing everyone away with my weirdness, you were right to send me away, all I ever do is mess everything up!”
Camila tried her best not to shown how bad she felt hearing Luz words, but it was getting progressively difficult to do it, seeing and hearing so her daughter, her little miracle saying so many bad things about herself, Camila didn’t know how much more she could handle. For better or worse, she didn’t hear anymore.
Vees walked from her side of the sofa as fast as she could, putting herself on Luz other side, were Amity gave her the space.
“Luz that’s insane! I had my problems but you had yours too, it was completely unfair of me to downplay your pain and lash out at you just because I was upset! And…”
She blushed.
“You helped me so much. You helped me find magic, you saved me from Jacob, you accepted me in your family, you didn’t have to do any of this, but you still did, thank you so much Luz, I couldn’t ask for a better sister Luz.”
That was enough time for Camila to also get herself together.
“Mija, it’s not a job of a child to accommodate their parents, it’s the opposite, and seeing you doing so much to try and help me always filled me with even more pride them I already had, but you can’t keep blaming yourselves for the actions of other people Luz…”
The implied meaning, that Luz shouldn’t also be blaming herself for they all being stranded on earth, passed unnoticed by all that weren’t the mother and daughter.
“…What your teachers, what your classmates what all those people did that hurt you, you shouldn’t take the blame for them Luz, it’s their mistakes to carry, not yours, It’s not healthy mi luzita, and not fair with yourself at all. And if it is driving you to this point.”
She accentuated the ‘this’ by gesturing to where Luz arms should be, behind the blankets. Making Luz whimper at remembering what she meant.
“Then I have failed you Luz, and I’m so sorry for this.”
“We all are, I hope you can forgive us.”
Interjected Vee while approaching Luz and hugging her, together with Camila.
Luz by her side, felt really overwhelmed and conflicted, her body was at easy while being comforted by her mother and sister that she actually felt like she could just fall back asleep at any moment, but her feelings of guilt didn’t deem, no, they were attacking at full force.
Nuzzling herself in the familial embrace, she closed her eyes.
“I love you two too, but I still can’t believe in nothing of what you two are saying.”
The pair of arms around her flinched and tensed, and she could swear she heard the others tense too, from all the way around the room.
“I, I can’t believe it, I can’t bring myself to believe, to believe that you all wouldn’t be better off without me, I, I’m sorry.”
Luz eyes fill with water. One pairs of arms tight their grip on her, the other goes almost limp, the one from her Mami.
“I understand Mija.”
Camila says and Luz looks at her.
“I understand you can’t bring yourself to believe us now, and that none of this is your fault, I hope with time you can see it though, how good you are for us, and how much we love and appreciate you, all of us do.”
Luz looked around, and beyond the enraged, sad, and worried faces, that was indeed the one sentiment that was common, a love directed to her, a love she couldn’t bring herself to feel for herself.
“That’s why we all came with an idea. I, I don’t think you are going to like it, but please Luz, try to understand, we do this because we love you.”
Luz felt a pit on her stomach.
“W-what do you mean Mami.”
Camila closed her eyes and took a deep breath; however, the one who answered was Hunter.
“Until we are sure you won’t be a danger to yourself anymore, you will be trapped on your sleeping cocoon.”
Camila let her breath out, sighing as she has been beaten to the punch. A bit of silence, them installs itself, everyone holding breaths, all eyes on Luz, waiting her reaction.
“What?”
“We took the idea from the Suicide prevention code Mija, normally you’d have to be with at least one of us all the time during the next twenty-four hours, that was the first thing wasn’t enough, so we make a schedule to keep you company, one of us each day for this week.”
Even though the panic of having to be watched all the week was starting to grip at her mind, Luz still nodded, showing that she was following.
“But that would be too little too late, so we decided that you needed more Batata.”
Said Amity from her other side.
“So we thought on a way to keep you safe but comfortable, and, well, that was what we came up with.”
Luz looked at her girlfriend, who just finished talking.
“You want to jail me behind a pile of blankets, to comfort me…?”
“No! I mean, yes technically, but, not only for that, your, uh, wounds are pretty bed too and…”
“You all don’t trust me to not go out there and make it worse.”
A defining silence was heard, as Luz eyes bawled and slithered, frustration and fury evident in equal measure.
“I take it you don’t like it.”
Said Hunter.
Luz nodded her head in negation. She tried to talk to say how unfair that was, how that wasn’t necessary, every word she tried to get out was stopped either by her own mind supplying her that this was indeed necessary, since her brain still wanted her to make a run for her razors the first chance she got, and by the fact that whenever she tried to say anything, all that came out of her mouth was incoherent gilgberish.
After a minute of her frustrating thoughts trashing around and her restraints limiting her movements, she finally caved to the only form of expression that was really available for her. Crying.
A hard cry, with sobs and tears, it didn’t take much for her mother and sister to come back to hugging her, her girlfriend, friend, and brother not far behind.
They lay in a pile of comfort with Luz in the middle, while they all hugged her and whispered sweet reassurances in her ear. Luz loved them, she loved them all, but she couldn’t help but feel a slight bitter at them, they weren’t letting her help them...
And that’s what broke her, she wanted to help them by freeing them from her, but they loved her so much that doing that would be the quickest way to hurt them all. It was still her best bet; the grieving would be only temporally they would soon forget about her when they noticed how much better their lives would get.
She tried to chant the spiraling thoughts around her head, like a destructive mantra, without noticing the smallest tinge of doubt that gripped her mind, the glimpse of hope that she was most known for, the one that slowly grew as she dozed off to sleep, surrounded by her family and friends.
Waiting in anticipation for the day that sadly, for her, would most surely come.