Work Text:
A/N - This is a quickly cleaned up threadfic from Twitter! It is unbeta'd, but just wanted to keep it here as a light snack to read.
11/11/22 update! ZazGeek is such a rockstar. They actually went and beta'd this for me and caught a ton of mistakes and typos. Thank you!!!!
Wei Wuxian had recently moved to Suzhou from Yiling for work. He lived alone, but work was busy so he was managing, even though he really missed Wen Qing and Wen Ning. The job was a major step up and one he couldn't turn down. But it was a little lonely. During the week, he pretty much just worked himself to death, but on the weekends, he tried (mostly due to Wen Qing’s bullying over the phone), to take care of himself a little better.
On weekends, he would sleep in, get some exercise, and make sure he ate well (from the food stalls, because his cooking was questionable at best and more likely to result in a kitchen fire than good nutrition). He'd made friends with several of the aunties who ran his favorite food stalls. Outside of work, they were the only people he’d really had a chance to get to know since moving to a new city.
The aunties were charmed by his friendly smile and self-effacing ways. They also were in firm agreement that he was far too thin and needed looking after. Many of the aunties had grown children of their own who were living far away and were more than happy to basically adopt Wei Wuxian, telling him he was to skinny, asking what he'd been eating, and letting him know all about various nieces and grand-daughters and daughters of family friends that he might like to meet.
Wei Wuxian always just laughed and said that--since these aunties have gone and broken his heart by already being married--Wei Wuxian will just have to be alone and take solace in their amazing bao and spicy noodles.
He had only lived in Suzhou for a few months. Up until then, the weather had been cool, and most of his morning runs had been taken in sweatpants and a hoodie. But today had been oddly warm, and - especially given Wei Wuxian’s late start to his morning - he had ended up running in a pair of loose black shorts (he realized he must have been forgetting to eat again, because they were riding very low on his hips) and a red tank top.
Wei Wuxian adjusted his ponytail - which was falling out as usual after his morning run - as he followed the scent of steamed meat buns and spices to his favorite food stall. Saturdays were his favorite day to sleep in, so he’d already missed breakfast but was in time for the early lunch crowd. Given that his tastes ran towards spicy rather than sweet, it suited him fine.
The Aunties at the food stalls greeted him warmly, they asked him (as always) if he was seeing anyone yet, armed with a list of names of grand-daughters and nieces that he should meet. Wei Wuxian just laughed and flirted with them instead.
One of them told a joke and he laughed so hard he nearly fell over, bending over and half leaning on the narrow edge of the food stall as he caught his breath while he waited for his food.
One of the aunties looked over his shoulder, but before Wei Wuxian could turn to see what she was looking at, a low voice spoke from behind him.
“You are blocking the way.”
Wei Wuxian turned, mid-laugh, only to have his breath stolen as the most beautiful man he'd ever seen stood behind him. The man had a displeased and slightly judgemental expression on his face, clearly unhappy to have Wei Wuxian blocking his way.
"Aw, gege. Don't be angry. Your face is too beautiful to be wearing such an expression. Here, let me make it up to you by buying you breakfast?"
The man's ears flushed red.
"Shameless. And it is lunchtime. Not breakfast."
Wei Wuxian laughed and the man seemed to go even more still.
"Here you go, dear," the Auntie in charge of the food stall said, handing Wei Wuxian a small basket of meat bao and another of fiery red noodles.
“Breakfast is whenever you wake up," Wei Wuxian said, taking a bite of his noodles around a grin.
The man watched him, and Wei Wuxian wondered if he had spilled some of the sauce from noodles on his face. Neither man noticed the gleeful looks exchanged by the aunties who were watching their byplay avidly. They had waited years for the younger Lan boy to show an interest in anything other than work. They would absolutely not be letting this opportunity pass.
The Aunties had always thought Lan Wangji was uninterested in sex or relationships and would remain a bachelor forever, very unlike Lan Xichen who always had a bit of a roving eye. They were, therefore, surprised but extremely interested to note just exactly where Lan Wangji's eyes were focused while Wei Wuxian was bent over, laughing. This was the moment they had been waiting for and they would not miss their chance to see Lan Wangji finally settled down!
Of course, the boys didn’t make it easy for them.
Lan Wangji ordered his food stiffly, refusing to even look at Wei Wuxian again (no matter how hard the friendly young man tried) and immediately leaving. The Aunties noticed Wei Wuxian’s slightly dimmed smile at Lan Wangji’s cold shoulder, but they were on the case! They knew both of these boys, and firmly believe they will be a perfect match.
Lan Wangji was incredibly responsible, but needed a little fun in his life. Someone who could charm him out of his shell. Wei Wuxian was a kind, lively boy but needed someone steady to keep him from forgetting to eat or being too impulsive.
However, the Aunties had heard about the long hours Wei Wuxian worked, and they knew from experience that Lan Wangji is not social at all. So they would have to take this into their own hands.
They began 'casually' mentioning things about Lan Wangji to Wei Wuxian and vice versa to see what caught the other’s interest and also to ensure they were actually compatible. When Lan Wangji was there, they talked about Wei Wuxian's work as an engineer and how smart he seemed to be, but how exhausted he was all the time, and that they noticed he was losing weight with no one to look after him.
When Wei Wuxian was there, they talked about how Lan Wangji volunteered at a local animal rescue farm on the weekends, and how they felt like he was lonely and needed someone in his life to liven it up a little.
After each visit, the Aunties would talk amongst themselves about what they’d each noticed, such as how Lan Wangji frowned, listening intently when they mentioned that Wei Wuxian looked like he had not been sleeping enough during the work week and had likely been forgetting to eat again.
They quickly honed in on Lan Wangji's caregiver kink and took it and ran. They mentioned that they had made something special for Wei Wuxian but he did not stop by to pick it up and could Lan Wangji be a dear and drop it off for them?
They let Wei Wuxian know when Lan Wangji's birthday was, and how it was so sad he doesn't seem to have a special someone to celebrate him (because Lan Wangji was such a good boy and he deserved to be happy). Wei Wuxian showed up the very next day, frantically asking for advice on what he could get him as a gift because Lan Wangji deserves the best and what should he do ?
The next weekend, they told Wei Wuxian to come at a specific time, because they would be making something special that always sold out first thing in the morning. Wei Wuxian stumbled down, half asleep, and Lan Wangji was there, watching him intently and buying breakfast for the half-asleep man.
Neither man noticed the four sets of eyes avidly watching and cataloging the way Lan Wangji’s ears flushed red, or how Wei Wuxian’s smile was wider and brighter than they’d ever seen at that hour of the morning.
Despite the Aunties best efforts, Wei Wuxian eventually got sick due to overworking himself and forgetting to eat, and they made sure Lan Wangji knew about it, sending him over with spicy soup and medicinal tea. The Aunties waited with baited breath the next morning, but Lan Wangji did not show up at their stalls for the next 3 days.
Imagine their glee with the first 'morning after' when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji arrived for breakfast TOGETHER, with Wei Wuxian still in a daze and tucked under Lan Wangji's arm, with his neck covered with love bites.
Then the aunties began planning the wedding.
And then Wei Wuxian started talking about this toddler that was just orphaned, distantly related to his friends back in Yiling, and he wished he could just adopt him. Auntie laser eyes activated!! There is a free adopted grandchild potentially available for them to spoil and oversee, while their own grandchildren and great-grandchilren are so far away!
A-Yuan was shortly welcomed into his new home, with two adoptive fathers and four adoptive Aunties.
The end.