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Four months passed. Four months since we were stuck there. It was hell itself. The only thing we had left was our hope to live, the hope that we could be lucky enough to see the light once again before we could close our eyes forever. We were weak, our legs could barely carry us anymore. We lost weight, quite a lot of it, especially you. Our food was about to end and we barely had any water left. We didnt know how much we had left till our bodies were going to fail us, be it wasnt much. We both knew it. We came here in the first place to look for vecna, since the other ones were in the real world, looking for ways to kill him, along with El's sister. But we were here to look for vecna and where he could be, since his place of hiding changed. We were about to leave but the gate suddenly closed. We searched for many gates but we never found one. Its like the upside down wanted us to stay there, to never come back in the real world wich is understandable after all, vecna controls the upside down so he would never let us go.
I dont know if you remember, i mean how could you? But the first few nights we were in the upside down, you were so scared since you didnt had the best memories with this place. I remember holding you in my arms after we found a place to sleep. It was a small shop, but it was cozy and safe to spend the night there. I remember how soft and delicate your skin was, and how you were trembling the whole night. I felt so bad for you, but i couldnt do anything to help too much, i just held you even closer to me, hoping it will get better by the time morning comes. It didnt. The further the night was going, the more affected you seemed. Your whole body was starting to get colder as the minutes passed. I didnt know what to do, i was so worried for you, i just wanted you to be okay, to be safe. Back then i thought i cared so much about you because you were my best frined since we were kids, but now, i see things differently. The reason why i cared so much about you was it because i-... lets just get to that part later its a little bit hard for me rn to write it since it took me even more time to accept it. It was hard since we lived in the 80s but with people and the world evolving i didnt feel so bad about it anymore. It was like a relief but enough about me its time to focus on you Will. Its time to finally tell you about our adventures in the upside down, well i hope at least you remember some of them, but i dont think so since youre sleeping rn. I hope you will wake up soon Willian since i havent heard you voice in so long, yes i have El, Max, Lucas, Dustin and all our other friends with me but you were my best friend will and it hurts sm. I remember after our first night in the upside down, it was a little bit more light outside since last night but you still couldnt tell much the difference too much. You were a little bit better since, i noticed that the mindflayer didnt affect you as much on day time, at least in the upside down. We got out of our hiding place and started making a fire. It was pretty hard but we finally made it. Ofc we knew how risky it was to do that, but we had no choice. We thought we would only stay for a few days, so that's why we brought food that would expire pretty quickly, for example meat, wich would be the first one to expire so we needed to cook it as soon as possible. While we were waiting for the meat to cook I remember this conversation in my head to this day. You asked me what if something would happen to you, what if something happened to me, what if something would happen to us. I didnt knew what to respond too, since i wasnt sure of that either. It was hard enough to get trough the first night, and it was even harder for you, so lets not talk about the other nights that would come in the future. The mind flayer would probally get attached to you even more and it would be a deal in plus for you. I didnt give you a response to that question, cause i didnt knew what to respond with to either. Where were we? Oh yes i was telling you about our first night there. But what if i told you about how we survived that cursed place? Well the first few days it was really hard, but with time we got used to it. We would always turn the fire down, or find places to hide when we would see a demogorgon or demodogs. We would steal rotten food when we ran out of it or off brand soda, so we could have energy. We were just two dumb teen boys, that were trying to survive a different interdimesional world that was under our feet the whole time and we still knew nothing about it since a few years back.
If back then i would have known what would cost me to just know about the upside down i would have most likely not belive anyone and switch countries. But now that i know about all of this, i wouldnt trade it for anything in world. Ive meet so many new and cool people like Steve, El, Robin and even Eddie.
On the other hand, im still surpised that i never noticed this about you all of this time. It was so obvious, i fell so dumb right now. It was all making sense now, even tho i wish it didnt. I never wished for it to happen. I remember every detail of that moment. You saved me Will, you saved me. And if you hear this, remember that you are not a monster, you saved me. I told El the same thing when she saved me. She wasnt a monster and shes not one to this day either. Same with you. You are not a monster, and you never were one. Just because you can do what you can do, that dosent make you any less of a human. That makes you being you. And you are an amazing person Will. Im saying this because i know how insecure you were about this when you found out too.
The first time i saw you using your powers was when we were being chased by a demogorgon. It was about to attack me, but you jumped in front of me. I thought i would loose you, but i was wrong. You used your powers to save me, to save us. After that fight, i was still in shock. I never thought about you having powers, i never considered it. When i asked you why didnt you told me about it you responded that you didnt knew either. You told me that you wanted to save me, and you just did it. Now thinking about it, it makes sense, since youve always been connected to the upside down, and now i understand the reason why. You told me that you had dreams about using powers but you never told anyone about them, not even El because you thought it was just a coincidence, that none of it was true, but it was. You had powers and you saved me with them. After we found out about it, it was more easy to deal with the upside down, and we thought that we could finally escape after four months. I remember how tired we were trying to find for a gate that you could potentially open, we searched nonstop. We would just walk, and walk, and walk more trying to remember the location of possible gates, and we did it, we finally did it. Bun when we were close of getting out you told me that you couldnt get out of there. I was so confused and i asked you why. You responded that you had a connection with the upside down, wich i already knew so i didnt know where you were going with this.
But then i realised. Youve always been connected with the upside down, along with the mind flayer and vecna. They were connected to you. You kept the connection between the real world and the upside down. Tears were falling down my eyes. I knew what this meant and you knew too but it didnt want to belive it. You told me these exact words "Mike... im sorry. I never wanted this to happen. Ive never wished for this, i just wanted a normal life. A normal life ith you...because, because i love you Mike. I always did since we were kids but i was too afraid to tell you. I dont want to leave you but there is no other choice. I have to die for the upside down, the mind flayer and vecna to stop the connection with the real world." You got close to me and gave me a kiss on the lips and then-
You took the knife you had in your pocket and stabbed youself in the heart with it. You instantly fell down on the ground. I took you in my arms while you were bleeding more and more. I couldnt stop crying. I hold you in my arms tighter that i ever done before. I didnt wanna loose you because you were and still are my everything. "Will please. Will dont leave me alone here i cant do this without you... Will? WILL PLEASE! DONT LEAVE ME!" But it was too late. You were already gone. And you were right. You had to die for the upside down to stop contact with the real world. The gate that you opened was slowly closing, but i couldnt let you to die in that horrible place. I started dragging your dead body but some demobats were coming for us. They were biting me, but i tried fighting them back. We barely made it out of thag cursed place.I was full of blood but at least we were safe now. I took one more look at your dead body and gave you a final kiss.
It was so hard to get out if the woods but we made it to Hoppers cabin where the other were. They were in shock when they saw us, when they saw you.
And now im just here in front of your grave after five years reading this letter to you. I wish you were still here. Now im 19 but youre still 14. I would give anything in the world to hear your voice or to see your smile again. And well thats it my love.
With love, your dear paladin