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Katsuki sat on the plush couch of the television studio, a scowl on his face, looking even more intimidating than usual thanks to his hero costume. The various assistants, producers, lighting technicians, and whatever the fuck other kinds of people who worked for the daytime talk show he was about to guest appear on ran around like their lives depended on it, doing all sorts of tasks that he thought were most likely unnecessary.
“Katsuki, relax. You look like you’re about to blow up the whole studio,” Ochako said as she straightened her wrist guards in the seat next to him.
“I just fuckin’ might,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “This is literally the stupidest damn thing we’ve ever done.”
She sighed. “I know it’s kinda silly, but the PR team says it’ll be really good for the agency’s image.”
“Who the fuck hired these PR idiots anyway?”
“You did.”
“Well they’re gettin’ fired.”
Ochako sighed again. “You can’t fire them.”
“Why the hell not? It’s my damn agency!”
“It’s our agency, Katsuki, and I said no. The only reason you’re sitting at number two right now is thanks to their help. Without them you know Shoto would have beaten you in the last rankings.”
His scowl deepened as a low grumble emanated from deep within his chest, causing a nearby intern to squeak and hurry away.
Ochako laughed and rubbed his back, comfortingly. “You’ll survive, Mr. Explosion Murder. It’s just an interview.”
“It’s a stupid fuckin’ relationship interview, ‘Mrs. Explosion Murder’," he mocked. "It’s annoying enough that random extras already talk shit about our relationship online, why do they need to know about our fuckin’ personal lives? Why do they even care?”
“They care because we’re both in the top ten; you seem to forget that we’re literally celebrities,” Ochako said, sternly. “This is supposed to make them stop ‘talking shit’ about us constantly because they’ll see we’re actually happy together and not just married for show, so suck it up. We just have to answer a few questions and then it’ll be over.”
“Fine. But we better not regret this.”
---
“So, Dynamight and Uravity,” said the talk show host, an annoying woman with bright blue hair, too much makeup, and an extremely fake ‘made for TV’ voice. “It’s so nice to finally have the current number two and number seven pro-heroes - and the absolute most talked about pro-hero couple - on the show! I’m such a huge fan.”
“Awe, thank you, Asami,” Ochako said, a seemingly genuine smile plastered on her face. Katsuki wasn't sure how she was always able to remain so calm in situations like this because his palms were growing dangerously sweaty and they’d only just started. “We’re glad to finally be here.”
“Amazing. It’s an honor, truly,” the blue-haired bitch drawled. “Let’s just get right into it then, shall we? It’s no secret that you two tied the knot earlier this year, but the question is still out on how long you've actually been together. Some claim you've been dating for years while others think this is all too sudden; a potential ploy just to boost your agency's ratings. So, let’s finally put this argument to rest - how long has it really been?”
“Oh, it honestly feels like forever,” said Ochako in her ‘be polite to the media’ voice that always put Katsuki on edge. He loved his wife more than anything but he really hated this fake garbage. He understood why she did it, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. “We actually started dating when we were in U.A. together, right at the start of our third year.”
“Oh my gosh, high school sweethearts,” Asami squealed. “A lot of fans suspected, what with your class being in the spotlight so frequently, but it’s great to get official confirmation! Especially since it seems like you two tend to avoid the media in your personal lives. Absolutely adorable! Who made the first move?”
Ochako smiled again, more sincerely than before. “I did.”
“Ohhh, so you’re out here breaking gender role stereotypes in and out of the suit! I always knew you were a truly strong woman, Uravity. But I’m a little shocked, Dynamight, I thought you were the type to take initiative. Were you too nervous to ask out the love of your life?” Asami asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Katskui felt the vein in his temple twitch. He should have trusted his instincts and canceled this fucking interview days ago; they couldn’t trust this bitch as far as they could throw her (which was really saying something when his incredible badass of a wife was involved). “No,” he said through gritted teeth, “just dense. Thought she liked someone else.”
“Dynamight has always been extremely driven towards his career goals,” Ochako said, placing a hand on his bicep. “It was the same in high school, too. He just had a lot more on his mind than most teenagers, I think, so he was a little lost in the relationship department at first.”
A mischievous glint flashed through Asami’s eyes; she was plotting, and if Ochako wasn’t gently squeezing his arm Katsuki might have already blasted her through the back wall. “So, you’re saying that Dynamight puts work ahead of your relationship? Isn’t that causing a strain-”
“No, not at all!” Ochako’s tone was as bright and bubbly as ever, but anyone who knew her as well as Katskui could tell that she’d also had enough of this bullshit. Her gentle grip tightened; she wasn’t going to let anyone say shit about him. God he fucking loved her. “We both care about each other and our careers equally. Neither of us has ever put one before the other.” Katsuki let out a rough sigh, relaxing further into her as he grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together automatically.
“Ahh, love! It’s so wonderful to see,” Asami said, phasing back into her camera-ready cheeriness. “Were you also the one to propose, Uravity?”
“Hell no!” Katsuki roared, unable to hide his annoyance anymore (not that he’d been doing such a good job at it before). “I ain’t a total piece of shit! I proposed.”
“Interesting. I always knew you had it in you, Dynamight.” Asami must have realized that things were getting a little too heated because she quickly changed topics. “Well then, let’s get into some of the spicier questions that viewer’s have been absolutely dying to know the answers to.”
Katsuki glanced at Ochako and she just rolled her eyes.
“Who’s the better kisser?”
Katsuki knew it; Blue Bitch had been waiting for this bullshit the entire damn time. “Me,” he said, aggressively.
“Are you sure about that, Dynamight?” asked Asami, smirking behind her hand. “Uravity seems to disagree.”
Katsuki turned towards his wife to see her, arms crossed and eyebrow quirked in a way that silently asked ‘are you serious, right now?’. “Fine,” he admitted begrudgingly. “She is.”
“I suspected as much,” Asami said, smugly. “Alright, next question. Who’s the better flirt?”
“Me, dammit,” Katskui yelled, a little louder than he’d intended to.
Asami turned her attention to Ochako who simply shrugged and said, “Dynamight is good at flirting when he doesn’t realize he’s doing it, but he’s cute to me all the time.”
Katskui growled in annoyance with just how much fun his wife was suddenly having. She’d always liked teasing him, but this was bullshit.
“Adorable,” said Asami again, straightening out the paper in front of her. “How about a wholesome one this time; who gives the best hugs?”
Katskui opened his mouth to respond that he did but Ochako’s laughter cut him off. “Fuckin’ fine! She does, okay?! It’s her! It’s all her!”
“As expected. In the fan poll around 87% of viewers suspected that, too. You're getting beat pretty badly here, Dynamight. So then, we’ve got one last question; the big finale, the one that everyone’s dying to know the answer to.” The mischievous glint was back, though to Katsuki it now looked downright villainous. “Who’s better in the bedroom?”
A small squeak erupted from Ochako and Katsuki turned to see her staring wide-eyed at Asami, embarrassed shock plastered all across her face. “I think that’s a little too personal,” she said with a forced chuckle.
Finally. It was payback time. “I thought we were supposed to ‘suck it up’ and answer all the questions, Uravity. Shouldn't we give the people what they want?” he drawled, a shit-eating smirk on his face. After all, he had always liked teasing her, too.
She glared at him as a deep, rose-colored blush spread across her cheeks, so dark that it completely blocked out their usual pink tint. He just grinned back wolfishly as the silence stretched on until she finally gave in. “Fine then. Dynamight is,” she said, quietly.
“I dunno about that, I think this one’s all you, ‘Chako,” he said, his devilish expression only accentuated by his mask. “They should see the way you-”
“Katsuki!” she hissed, absolutely mortified. He was definitely going to get scolded later, but he liked his wife when she was a little angry; she got feisty.
“What?! I think all these fuckin’ extras who wanna talk shit should realize that I know I’m the luckiest guy in the whole damn world. Dontcha agree, Blue Hair?”
The TV host-turned-villain (in Katsuki’s opinion only) grinned. “I do, Dynamight.”
"Be jealous, losers, cus I get to wake up next to this every day for the rest of my damn life!"
---
Shortly after Katsuki's declaration, Asami ended the show and the cameras went off air. Her television persona off, she got up and strolled away without even giving them another thought.
Ochako buried her head in her hands, her face still completely red as a few studio employees rushed around taking care of any last-minute tasks they had and preparing for whatever they had to do next. “I can’t believe you, Katsuki,” she groaned quietly. “Sometimes you’re so…”
“Badass? Handsome? Tough as hell?”
“Annoying.”
“Hey, Pink Cheeks, don’t blame me! I’m supposed to be gettin’ better at this PR shit, remember? Based on Blue Bitch’s reactions I think that went pretty damn well.”
She grumbled something unintelligible, an adorable pout on her face, and Katsuki knew that no matter what anyone else thought he was well past smitten.
“Oh, you love me. C’mon, let’s get the hell outta here and go home so I can prove you right about me being the best in-”
“KATSUKI!”
PR was stupid as hell, but Katsuki didn’t totally mind doing it if Ochako was by his side.