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Another nightmare.
Prapai’s arms are already wrapped around Sky’s shivering body before the older man can even register he’s even awake. He’s hushing the boy gently and pulling him as close as possible before his eyes are even open, holding him against his bare chest.
They don’t come as often now, the bad dreams, but often enough for Prapai’s body to have a natural reflex to the movements that plague his boyfriend. As soon as Sky’s sleeping form begins to twitch, something in Prapai’s chest seems to just switch, like a magnet being drawn to it’s mate. He’s barely awake before he’s wrapping himself around Sky, hushing softly and whispering.
“I’m here,” he whispers, eyes still closed as he presses a soft kiss to his lover’s clammy forehead.
Sometimes Sky fights back, will push him away and cry out. Sometimes he cries his name, and Prapai feels his whole chest shatter. Tonight is one of those nights.
“No,” Sky mumbles, and he pushes against Prapai’s chest. “Please…no…”
“It’s okay,” Prapai shushes. “It’s okay, Sky-“
“Please…” Sky pushes again, eyes closed, still in the grip of slumber. “P’Gun…help…”
It hurts, of course. A lot. It’s bad enough hearing your lover call someone else’s name in their sleep, but knowing why they do can be worse – like now. Prapai knows what’s going inside Sky’s mind, can almost picture the scene itself, and he would do anything to be able to stop it. If he could open a magic door and reach inside, pull Sky free then lock the door behind him then throw away the key…if only.
It's been…complicated, since it happened. Since Prapai learned the truth. The days are perfect, and he often finds himself alone in his office just staring into space, completely bewildered over just how disgustingly in love he feels. It’s amazing, really, and he hopes the feeling never vanishes. If he’s honest, he doesn’t think it would be possible to not feel this in love with the architecture student. Sometimes, when Sky walks in the room, Prapai has a slight panic that he might actually be suffering from heart failure (this gave his siblings quite the giggle the first time they noticed him clutching his chest).
The nights, however, can be tricky. It’s better than it was, of course, and the nightmares don’t visit the younger boy as much as they once did, but on the occasions they do, it hurts. It hurts like hell, if he's honest, and what makes him feel even worse is if it hurts him that much, he can’t imagine how Sky feels. When he watches Sky push at invisible hands, rubbing at healed scars, Prapai thinks he might die from the pain in his chest.
“It’s me,” Prapai whispers, trying to fight the sting in his eyes. “It’s Prapai.” His voice is catching in his throat, and he really wishes he could take it away, all of it, every memory, every unnatural marking on Sky’s blessed body, every remnant of that fucking monster. “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me.”
A few more seconds pass with Sky pushing against his chest, before he opens his eyes. His breathing is erratic and his pupils are shot. He blinks up at his boyfriend, dazed and confused.
“P’Pai?” Sky whispers.
Prapai swallows and nods. “It’s me, I’m here, baby.”
Another second passes, but it feels like eternity. Sky looks around them, taking in Prapai’s bedroom, the one in the home he shares with his family. Sky’s the only lover to ever come here, the first and last, and Prapai knows that brings the boy comfort. It’s like a safety blanket, of course; no one but him has dirtied the sheets, has made Prapai cry out their name in desperation, has laid in the sunbeams that shine through the windows each morning. The condo is gone, sold and unmentioned, the few good memories made there rarely mentioned. This is their nest, their den, their hideout from the world.
Sky lets out a small sigh, and settles, stops fighting against the pull of strong arms. He pulls his legs up to settle between his lover’s and is sleeping once again with ease, soft snores vibrating against Prapai’s chest. “Pai.” He mumbles softly.
A tear escapes down Prapai’s cheek, but he allows it. He tightens his hold, but not too much, just enough that Sky is secure. He presses a kiss to his tousled hair and allows himself to settle once again. It hurts, these nights, these moments, but he makes a promise every single time, to both Sky and himself: he’ll always be here to fight off the monsters.