But how would you address a cat?

Thursday was already awful after Zheng Yunlong most likely failed yet another audition. And that was before he fell into the clutches of a demon who cursed him to transform him into a cat.
Luckily for him, Ayanga finds him soon enough.
Unluckily for him, the demon's condition to break the curse is that Yunlong must find a way to confess his hidden feelings for his banzhang. As a cat, no less.
Worst audition day ever.

Notes:

This work was created for the YCF Big Bang 2022!
The lovely illustrations were made by Ciel, who you can find on twitter here! Thanks for being such an awesome and encouraging creative partner in this!

Work Text:

On Thursday, Zheng Yunlong failed yet another audition and encountered a demon on his way home.

Well, he didn’t know for sure that he had failed it. His banzhang would have insisted that he keep his chin up until the very end, until the inevitable call came through. Ayanga would say that even if he weren’t their first choice, or their second or their third, maybe even being fourth would put him in a good position. He'd say that sometimes even fourth place could be the right place if it were the right time. But Ayanga wasn’t there to see how the producer had started leafing through the long list of other applicants before Yunlong was even halfway through his song, or how that made Yunlong’s throat sink all the way down through his chest and how he had struggled to choke out the next line.

“This is the moment,” he had sung, but with each failed audition, it was starting to feel like his moment would never come.

Ayanga would surely reassure him, in his honest, earnest way, that this was just another opportunity to gain experience, that every failure and setback would make him stronger in the long run. If Yunlong heard that advice coming from anyone else, he’d probably want to punch them in the face. But with Ayanga, he knew that it was sincere, coming from his own lived experiences.

And for Ayanga, that was indeed his truth. He had struggled through hardships beyond what anyone else in their class could imagine, and now his star was rising, shining bright as he deserved as he went on TV shows and began to make a name for himself. He had worked hard to put himself in the right place, and now his right time was here.

Yunlong wasn’t jealous – he was truly happy for his dear friend. Even if it meant he felt like the formerly nonexistent distance between them was growing. Not Ayanga’s fault in the slightest, of course – his banzhang still made a point of taking him out to eat (often for free) at his favorite Mongolian restaurant almost every week, texting him all the time, asking after his recent auditions, encouraging him like the best big brother Yunlong never had.

But Yunlong couldn’t help but feel like he was dragging Ayanga down, holding him back to his old life as an ordinary (not that he could say that Ayanga was ever anything less than extraordinary) student when it was clear Ayanga was meant to become a star now. Ayanga believed in him so much, and what did he have to show for it so far? Nothing but a folder full of rejections and his mother’s growing nagging to work in a stable office job. And so he made excuses to cancel their meal plans (despite how it pained him to turn down free food) and hemmed and hawed on telling Ayanga the results of his many auditions, not wanting to disappoint him.

Of course, Yunlong’s growing reticence only made his frustratingly responsible, ever caring banzhang worry more, until he was practically being a mother hen to the unruly, overgrown chick that was Yunlong. This was a special kind of torture, because Yunlong didn’t want Ayanga to be a mother hen to him.

He wanted Ayanga in another way. In the way that Collins wanted Angel, ever since that kiss that had set his nerves on fire that still hadn’t extinguished months after their graduation.

He was in love with Ayanga, but Ayanga kept trying to take care of him like a shepherd would a little lost lamb.

(He really must have spent too much time with Ayanga for all these livestock metaphors to keep coming to his city-bred mind.)

Such had been the depressing thoughts mulling in his head when he encountered the demon.

Not that he realized that was what he was walking into at first. Yunlong’s entire posture had been slumped over in his dejection, his eyes more fixed on the ground beneath his feet than where he was going. It wasn’t until he realized that he had already been walking for more than an hour that he bothered to look up. Before his eyes was the same gate he should have passed soon after leaving the theater. Did it look that spooky and shadowed when he passed it on his way here?

Huh, he must have been going in circles in real life too, not just in his mind. Shaking himself, he set out again, this time double-checking his phone to make sure he was following the right route.

He was focused on the road this time – he was sure of it. But somehow, he turned a corner, and there was that gate again.

What was happening to him? He checked his phone again. Strangely enough, the walking route looked a bit different than what he had remembered. Perhaps there had been some kind of glitch that made the map miscalculate the first time, he rationalized as he unconsciously started walking faster, the hair pricking up on the back of his neck.

Okay, now the map was telling him to turn here, into this dark alleyway. Damn these map apps, always trying to come up with weird shortcuts. He still hadn't figured out how to change the settings so it stuck to major roads. But Yunlong didn’t know this area and he didn’t have the fare for a cab, so all he could do was follow the route until the end. What was the worst that could happen to him, anyway? He was a big guy – surely he could take on any muggers potentially lurking in these dark alleyways. Besides, he had nothing worth stealing on him. Even his phone was a long-outdated model.

When a manhole cover shot up into the sky in front of him, he finally gave in to what his instincts were screaming at him to do. He scrambled to run in the opposite direction, but by then it was too late. Of all things, a long arm shot out of the manhole, claws wrapping around Yunlong’s ankle and pulling him back into the alley.

Who knew his inability to use his phone technology properly would really be the death of him?

He screamed even louder and longer than he had sung the last note of “This is the Moment” in his audition, but he was met only with laughter rising from the manhole.

“Nice voice, but no one’s going to hear that. I’ve caught you in my bubble already, you see.”

And indeed, Yunlong could make out what seemed to be some sort of dark sphere around the entire alley, cutting it off from the outside world.

“Oh god, is this how I die?” Yunlong whimpered as something arose from the manhole, pulling itself up using the leverage of its grip on Yunlong’s ankle.

“Not die, oh no. I have other plans for you.”

The creature was massive, yet at the same time, oddly translucent in places. It looked like a cross between a fox and a cat that towered above Yunlong’s head, with malevolent, glowing eyes and a gaping mouth with far too many teeth that showed as it spoke. So much for Yunlong thinking his own large size would protect him from getting ambushed tonight.

“I’m just a struggling musical theater actor,” Yunlong babbled. “I haven’t even gotten my big break yet! Can’t you eat me after that?”

“Calm down. I already said I wasn’t going to kill you.” The demon slinked down to meet Yunlong at eye level. “Well, aren’t you a miserable specimen of a human?”

“What the hell!” Despite his abject terror, Yunlong couldn’t take an insult like that lying down. Even if it was kind of true.

“Oh, don’t bother denying it. I can see into your mind. Like all humans, you’re pathetically burdened by all your fears and secrets. Afraid to take what you want, even when the path to happiness should be clear for you.”

“Hey, I didn’t ask to be mugged and psychoanalyzed in a dark alley! Just leave me to be miserable in peace!”

The demon continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “What a pitiful race you humans are. For all your civilization and culture, your kind are nothing compared to a much nobler species. I speak of Felis catus. The best creatures that I’ve ever encountered on this earth. Who make their joys and displeasures known, and whom even you hypocritical humans cannot help but adore.”

Yunlong blinked, confusion replacing his terror. “You… like cats? Hey, uh, me too.”

“Excellent. There may be some redemption for you yet, then. It’s good that you will like your new form.”

“My new form?”

“Yes, you’re the perfect specimen for my experiment. You should be honored – I’m using up the demonic power I cultivated for decades on you. You have been chosen out of all humans to be freed of your tiresome burdens and secrets. No more worry, no more work. Only meow meow.”

It admittedly took Yunlong much too long to dismiss the idea, but it did appeal to him for a split-second. Just meow meow for the rest of his days? It didn’t sound too bad… but if he never got to be a real musical actor, then what the hell did he work so hard in school for? Ayanga didn’t wake him up every morning to exercise and practice only for him to end up turning into a cat and sleeping all day anyway in the end.

“But why me? I don’t have any secrets. Like I said, I’m just a simple struggling musical theater actor.”

“Liar.” The demon hissed at him, hackles raising. “Hypocrite! I could feel your secret through your skin as soon as I grasped your ankle. Your secret love, that you keep stunted within your heart without ever exposing to the light of truth to let it flourish.”

“That… that’s none of your business.”

“I’m not wrong though, am I? You really would be happier as a cat.”

“Please, no!” As much as Yunlong did like cats, he didn’t want to be one! At least not before he got some decent roles. His mind raced, latching desperately onto anything to save himself. “Wait, aren’t you the hypocrite?”

“How dare you?” The demon reared back, making Yunlong flinch, but he kept going.

“You hate people because we keep secrets that stop ourselves from being happy? But if you turn me into a cat, those secrets will be secret forever!”

The demon snarled, then paused. “Hm. Hm? Don’t tell me you’re begging for a second chance. To reveal your secrets and live honestly as a human? You want to confess your love to your… Ayanga?”

Yunlong grimaced as he was hit by the implication of what he had just said. For whatever reason, the demon was particularly invested in that secret of his. The secret he least wanted to confess. But if it were a choice between confessing to Ayanga or being turned into a cat…

As much as his stomach turned to imagine how Ayanga would surely try to gently turn him down, how Ayanga would probably still try to be friendly even though things between them would be awkward forever, how that would absolutely crush Yunlong’s heart… he couldn’t just turn into a cat and disappear without a word either. Everyone would think he really had been killed in an alley somewhere, and he couldn’t put Ayanga through another loss. Because he knew that Ayanga did care deeply for him, even if it wasn’t in the way Yunlong craved.

So be it. He’d gladly take his own humiliation and ruined friendship over hurting Ayanga and everyone who cared about him with his disappearance.

“Yes, I do. You can’t attack me for having secrets without giving me a chance to confess them first. That would make you the hypocrite.”

The demon cocked its head at him, considering. “Wily human that you are, you do make a fair point. Very well. It wouldn’t be a fair experiment if I didn’t set up a control group of sorts. A way out, if you can manage it.”

Yunlong did not expect to be negotiating for his life with a demon tonight, but as Ayanga always liked to say, sometimes audition days really did yield the biggest surprises.

“Thank you for this chance,” he tried to say as formally as possible. What was the polite way to address a demon, anyway? “I’ll get to it as soon as I can.”

The demon’s hold on his ankle still hadn’t loosened.

“Um, so am I dismissed now?”

“While your newfound determination is admirable, and while I’m endlessly benevolent and merciful, I do need to punish you for lying first.” The demon grinned wide at him, showing all of its horrible teeth. “So yes, I’ll give you the chance to confess to your Ayanga. But my condition is that you must do it as a cat.”

“Are you kidding me–” Yunlong’s protests were cut off in a yelp of pain as the demon suddenly dug its claws into his flesh.

“I’ll be nice and leave you near where your Ayanga lives. Give you more of a fighting chance. You can even have as much time as you need. Although I do suspect you’ll find being a cat is much more enjoyable anyway. Feel free to stay as a cat forever, in the happy case that you forget you were originally a miserable human.”

Suddenly the world exploded in size around Yunlong. The garbage cans around him were ten times larger than they should be, and the walls became dizzyingly high, the night sky impossibly distant through the spaces between the rooftops. The cobblestones beneath his feet expanded to the length of his entire body. To make matters even more terrifying, his vision had gone all strange, the dark alleyway now blindingly bright, everything jumping in and out of focus all at once.

He jumped as something fell on top of him, almost trapping him, and he frantically fought his way free only to realize that was the shirt he had been wearing just moments ago. Now it had transformed into a vast sailcloth big enough to cover his entire body and then some.

He screamed, only for it to come out as a high-pitched meow.

“Awww, you’re so much cuter already!” The demon swooped down to pick him up and pet his newly acquired fur. “I really believe you’ll be happier like this.”

“What will everyone think now that the human Zheng Yunlong has disappeared!” He tried to speak, but of course, it only came out as angry meowing. “There will be a search party, the whole works! Maybe they’ll arrest you!”

Nevertheless, the demon seemed to have understood well enough. “Oh, but haven’t you already developed the charming habit of going dark for a few weeks every time after you audition? The people around you have learned to give you the space you claim you need so much. Except for your Ayanga, hmm, he does seem to like to bother you regardless, from what I saw peeking into your mind. Fine, I’ll hold onto your phone for you. If he asks, I’ll text him that you’re busy and you don’t feel like talking.”

“You bastard!” Yunlong hissed. The demon just kept petting his head.

“Oh, and if you do decide to be a cat forever, I’ll turn the rest of humanity into cats too! Although it may take me a few more centuries – maybe a millennia or two – to cultivate enough power for that. But seeing your success will surely keep me motivated in the meantime.”

Yunlong tried for a bite, but the demon just skillfully shifted him in its grip to pinch the scruff of his neck, and suddenly he felt his entire body relaxing, unable to move.

“Hold on tight, little kitty, I’m doing to drop you off now!”

And Yunlong blacked out as the world turned into a blur around him.

He awoke to find himself in a tree.

At least, he thought it was a tree, judging from the woody smell around him and how the ground swam horribly far away beneath him in his strange new vision as the branch he was lying on swayed slightly in the wind.

Apparently being turned into a cat had done nothing for his fear of heights.

He screamed, which came out as a yowl as he wrapped his paws as tightly as he could around the branch. With a start, he realized he had extended his claws, unintentionally sinking them deep into the bark beneath him. He pulled them free with more force than was necessary, jostling the entirety of the rather flimsy branch he was perched on. The branch bounced, he slipped, and the ground hurtled towards him.

Falling!

Turn turn turn get feet down underneath

Bend knees bend elbows bend bend bend

Land!

He blinked, finding himself safely on the ground none too much the worse for wear. What just happened? It had been like some instinct within him had taken over.

Well, whatever that had been, he had to get used to his new form, like it or not. He blinked again, trying to make sense of what his eyes were seeing. He knew it must already be late evening by now, yet it was as if his eyes had been replaced by night-vision goggles that could see into even the darkest shadows. But the color seemed to have been bleached from the world, and everything immediately in front of him was blurry.

From the deep recesses of his mind, a musical line floated out.

“Are you blind when you’re born? Can you see in the dark?”

Yunlong snorted, which came out as an incredibly cute sounding little cat snort. What a time to remember the opening line from the Cats musical. Though he had to admit it was oddly fitting. He had felt blinded by his new vision, reborn in a way into this cat body. And indeed, as one of the next lyrics went,

“When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet?”

When he had been learning those lines for their practice performances in college, he had never imagined he would refer to them as a sort of manual for himself. Hopefully this ordeal wouldn’t end up with him on a one-way trip to the “heaviside layer.”

Yunlong shivered, and he was suddenly overcome with an urge to shake himself. Well, he was a cat now, so why not? He shook himself as he had seen cats and dogs do, feeling some of the dust that had settled on him from the tree and his fall leaving his fur.

It still wasn’t enough. His nerves felt oddly jittery, and though there couldn’t have been much dirt left, he could feel the remaining specks of dust on his fur like discordant notes in a song.

Fur dirty! Must clean! Clean!

Lick lick lick lick lick

Yunlong came back to himself to find he had managed to twist his spine around so that he was licking the fur on top of his own butt. His mouth was full of his own fur, and not knowing what else to do, he swallowed it down.

What was happening to him? Was that his new cat brain? What had the demon said? That he might forget he had been a human? Maybe that brain would take over permanently if that happened.

Yunlong resolved to fight off those moments if they happened again. He hadn’t even found Ayanga yet! He couldn’t mentally turn into a cat already.

He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. This looked a bit like the neighborhood a few blocks away from Ayanga’s apartment. Good, he could work with that. He’d just have to cross a few streets. As a cat. A tiny, helpless cat.

“Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street?”

The line from the musical welled up in his head, taunting him, as if he had worked harder on learning that song, then he would have been better at being a cat now.

He turned his head to realize there was a little boy staring at him, his mother distracted as she talked on her phone. Though this boy didn’t look so little to him, despite probably being around four or five years old. He still towered above Yunlong’s new cat size.

“Cat,” the boy said happily, and he lurched away from his mother’s grip on his hand, reaching out in a sudden movement to try and grab Yunlong.

PREDATOR! TRYING TO CATCH!

TRYING TO EAT!!!

MUST NOT BE EATEN!

RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!

This time, Yunlong came back to find himself desperately huddled on a divider in the middle of the street. The spike of adrenaline nearly sent his brain back into cat-mode again, but thankfully, he was able to hang on and wait until a red light to cross the street to the other side. At least, he guessed it was a red light based on the position. All the reds and greens in the world had faded to muted grays for him.

Only after he reached the sidewalk did he realize that he had no idea where he was now. He must have strayed during his mad flight from that boorish child.

Great, how was he going to find Ayanga now?

More worryingly, he was starting to feel a bit hungry. Even as a human, he had been too nervous the day of his audition to eat anything, and apparently his hunger had carried through his cat transformation.

To get away from the noise of the street that threatened to overwhelm him, he retreated into another alleyway, this one behind a restaurant. Maybe he could beg some food from the owners or customers? Surely there were a lot of cat lovers in this city.

Was that a skittering sound coming from behind the trash cans?

Sound of tiny feet?

Listen listen

Sound stopped

Pounce now!

Yunlong knocked over the lid of a trash can with his jump, the clatter startling himself back into his right mind as he found himself face-to-face with a mouse.

As a human, he would have yelled. But now there was only:

MOUSE!

PREY!

HUNT CATCH KILL EAT HUNT CATCH KILL EAT HUNTCATCHKILLEAT

His paw shot out to grab at its tail, and the slithery feeling against his palm jolted him back into himself again.

Oh god, that was actually a mouse! He could have gone his whole life without knowing what that felt like! He gagged, at first just in disgust, but then in discomfort, feeling something come up his throat, and to his horror, he threw up a hairball.

Did the demon seriously think he would enjoy this?!

His cat instincts suppressed by his human disgust for now, Yunlong made his way into the restaurant, trying to resume his original plan of begging for scraps.

“Ah, what is that dirty creature! What kind of restaurant is this?”

Oh right. He had just been in the trash can.

“My apologies! I’ll get rid of it. Please don’t write a bad review!”

A huge mass suddenly loomed in his vision, and he vertically jumped what must have been at least double his own height before he could even think. He sharply looked up to see a waiter waving a rolled-up newspaper at him.

“Shoo, shoo! Get out, filthy creature!”

Yunlong yowled in fright, dodging the swatting newspaper purely by his newly acquired instinct. The person wasn’t swinging very hard, but for the cat-sized Yunlong, the newspaper was as big as his entire body.

“Hey, you don’t have to be so rough with it. Poor cat looks terrified!”

That was a new voice joining the conversation, but more importantly, it was a familiar one, even if heard through new, unfamiliar cat ears. Yunlong felt all the fur on his body stand on end in shock as the kind customer shooed the waiter away from menacing Yunlong.

“Gazi?!” Yunlong cried, but of course, it came out as a meow, though somehow the tones of the words he had wanted to say came through in the waver of the meow.

The kind customer knelt down so that Yunlong could see his face, and indeed, it was Ayanga. Even through the limited color vision of his cat eyes, Yunlong could recognize him.

“Gazi! It’s me, Dalong! Please help me!” Yunlong tried desperately to call out to him. “Demons are real!”

“What a cute meow you have,” Ayanga cooed, slowly reaching out his hand, presumably to let the cat sniff. “You almost sound like you’re talking.”

Yunlong stared at Ayanga’s round hand before his face. He knew that a normal cat would gently sniff in such a situation, but he was still very much in human control of his mind at the moment, and sniffing his best friend/secret crush’s hand was too awkward for him to think about. But he didn’t want Ayanga to think he was an unfriendly cat either.

Letting just a bit of cat instinct take over, Yunlong butted his head under Ayanga’s palm and rubbed his cheeks on the side of his hand. Ayanga let out a pleased gasp and gently pet the top of Yunlong’s head.

“So that’s your cat? No animals allowed inside! Get it out!”

“I was just done eating anyway,” grumbled Ayanga. He looked down at Yunlong. “Good thing I already paid. Come on kitty, can you follow me out? Oh wait, I should get some meat for you.” Ayanga scurried back to his table, returning with something in his hand that he offered to Yunlong.

Yunlong’s stomach growled as he sniffed at the meat, recognizing it as Ayanga’s favorite late-night snack of stir-fried shredded pork. As a human, he would have greedily wolfed it down (and it wouldn’t have been the first time he ate Ayanga’s leftovers). But to his cat nose, the pungent aromas of garlic and chili oil made the meat unpalatable despite how hungry he still was.

Ayanga’s face fell as he saw how Yunlong hesitated. “You don’t like that? Ah, stupid me, of course, I should have known cats wouldn’t like spicy food. Sorry, I don’t have anything else… but I can stop by a convenience store to get you some cat food on the way home?”

Yunlong settled for winding himself around Ayanga’s legs in answer, feeling a bit mortified at how natural it felt to give into the instincts telling him to rub his scent onto this human. He justified it by telling himself that was the only way Ayanga could understand that he would follow him, meat or no.

“Get that filthy cat out of here already!”

“We’re going, we’re going,” Ayanga said, hastily scooping up Yunlong into his arms. “Please don’t bite me, kitty.”

Yunlong went limp with surprise as Ayanga held him to his chest and hurried out of the restaurant. It felt so good to be held in his arms, cradled against his warm chest. Such a change of pace to be so dwarfed by Ayanga.

“Aww, you really are a nice kitty.” Ayanga smiled down at him. “You must have been a pet or something. Are you lost? It’s kind of late now though. I don’t think the vet would still be open. Is that even where I’m supposed to take a stray cat?”

“Please don’t take me to the vet,” Yunlong meowed.

Ayanga laughed. “You really do sound kind of like you’re speaking Chinese. Like you’re meowing, but in tones. Why am I speaking Chinese to you anyway? It’s not like you would understand any better than you would in Mongolian.”

He switched languages, spilling forth a string of syllables completely incomprehensible to Yunlong even if the lilting cadence was a bit familiar.

Yunlong emitted a sound between a grunt and a chirrup, trying his best to say no without making it sound like he disliked the sound of Ayanga speaking in Mongolian. As pleasant as the sound was, he did need to understand Ayanga. Otherwise, he really would get an authentic cat experience of having no idea what the humans around him were saying, and the mission the demon had set before him was hard enough as it was without that extra disadvantage.

Ayanga paused, looking down quizzically at him. He asked what must have been a question, and Yunlong could only reply with the same grunt. He shook his head this time too, even though he doubted Ayanga would think a cat would know to communicate with that gesture.

“Back to Chinese then?”

And Yunlong, filled with the need to respond positively, felt a deep rumbling rise deep in his chest and reverberate through his whole body. With a start, he realized he was purring.

“Guess you prefer that. Maybe you’re more used to that sound, growing up here. Well, if I keep you, maybe you can pick up some Mongolian too. Not that I’ve decided to keep you. Oh, here’s the store. I wonder if they’ll be mad if I carry you inside? But I don’t want to leave you outside alone… oh, I know!”

Ayanga shifted Yunlong to the crook of one arm as he unzipped his hoodie and proceeded to stuff Yunlong inside. Yunlong nearly started flailing with shock, preventing himself only with the thought that he mustn’t scratch Ayanga.

“Sorry! It’s just for a while – I don’t like it either! The waiter wasn’t totally wrong… you are kinda stinky.”

Yunlong hissed at that.

“It’s to buy you food!”

Fair enough. Yunlong allowed Ayanga to zip up the hoodie so that he was hidden, though it was no easy task. After his initial shock at sizing down from a human, Yunlong was realizing that he was still rather large for a cat, especially now that he compared his proportions to Ayanga.

Being pressed so close to Ayanga made Yunlong hyperaware of his scent. As a human, he must have always subconsciously known this scent, because despite how unfamiliar and overwhelming the world smelled through his new cat nose, Ayanga’s warm, slightly milky scent comforted and anchored him. With his cat senses, it was like he could finally put a name to something that had always lurked hidden in the back of his mind.

“You’re purring! Such a sweet little cat! But ah, would you mind keeping your claws retracted if you want to make biscuits on me? It feels a bit… pointy.”

Oh god, what was he doing?! He hadn’t even realized he was making biscuits (with his claws out) on Ayanga’s chest! Good thing Ayanga’s shirt was fairly thick, so at least he hadn’t managed to break his skin. Embarrassed, Yunlong tucked his paws against himself and poked his nose out the top of Ayanga’s hoodie to reluctantly get away from that scent and clear his mind a bit.

He saw the cashier do a double-take at the no-doubt ridiculous sight Ayanga made with his mysteriously bulging hoodie, but it must have already been that time of night when the convenience stores would inevitably be flooded by drunkards looking for a snack, and luckily the cashier didn’t say anything as he checked out the mix of canned food, kibble, and treats that Ayanga grabbed.

“Ugh, why is there something wet – hey, are you drooling on me?”

And to Yunlong’s horror, he was. He could smell the cat treats even through the packaging, and even though he probably would have found the strong meaty smell a bit gross as a human, as a cat, he wanted nothing else.

“Poor thing, guess you must be really hungry. I’ll give you a snack now and then a whole can later after I give you a bath at home, ok?”

Yunlong chirped in response, and Ayanga peeled the wrapper off what looked like a small sausage that he offered. He wolfed it down ravenously, momentarily forgetting to feel awkward about eating from Ayanga’s hand.

“Good kitty! We’re almost home, ok? Just a bit longer, which is good because you’re actually kind of heavy. You’re a big guy, aren’t you?”

His hunger momentarily staved off, Yunlong let himself be lulled by the warmth of Ayanga’s chest and his reassuring scent, and he fell into a light doze.

Something petting head

Nice, gentle. Safe.

Familiar smell.

Home.

“Kitty, we’re home! Time to wake up!”

Yunlong blinked awake from the half-dozing state he had been in. Ayanga must have taken off the hoodie and put him down at some point, because he was now lying on it neatly folded on the coffee table. Did being a cat mean it would always be this easy to fall asleep? That was one good thing from his unwanted transformation, at least. He felt like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since graduating and being thrown into the cruel realities of the adult world.

“I’ll just wash you up and then give you your can, ok?”

Yunlong meowed his assent as Ayanga carried him to the bathroom. He was feeling pretty gross after his time in the trash can, and he couldn’t wait to feel clean again (while deliberately choosing not to think about how weird it would be for Ayanga to bathe him).

That is, he thought he would have loved to feel clean again. He waited patiently as Ayanga filled a basin with warm water. But the moment Ayanga lowered him in, a switch seemed to flip in his brain.

WET

WATER!

NO NO NO NO NO NO

AWAY! AWAY! GET IT OFF!

“Ow!”

Ayanga’s pained gasp cut through the feline haze of his mind, and Yunlong stopped the panicked flailing of his limbs to see Ayanga clutching his arm to his chest, a nasty gash across the back of his hand. He froze where he was standing in the soapy basin.

Had he done that? Had he hurt Ayanga?

“Gazi, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that,” came out as a plaintive meow, low and contrite as Yunlong could make it. He ducked his head, trying to show Ayanga how sorry he was.

“Guess you really don’t like baths, do you?” Ayanga grimaced, making his way to the sink to rinse out the wound with soap and water. “That’s what I get for picking up strays. Never did learn to just mind my own business…”

Yunlong meowed again.

“You’re not the first one who’s gotten tired of me butting in,” Ayanga said offhand as he rummaged in his medicine cabinet for a bandage. “Though I guess you make it clear when you’ve had enough. Sorry if I was too rough getting you in the water.”

Was it just his cat ears playing tricks on him, or was that a hint of melancholy in his voice? Before he could ponder it more, Ayanga turned back to him, hand bandaged and now safely in a rubber glove.

“Wait, now you’re sitting so nicely in the water? Might as well finish the bath before it gets cold. Please don’t claw me again.”

Yunlong rubbed his head in apology against Ayanga’s gloved hand to show him he had no remaining hostility, and thankfully Ayanga seemed to have understood, as some of the nervous tension left his stance. He willed himself to stay in his human mind as Ayanga carefully scrubbed the grime out of his fur. His nerves still felt like standing on end from the constant contact of water, but he made himself focus on the pleasant sensations too – Ayanga’s comforting scent, his soft, gentle hands, the warm water – and soon he was purring again.

“Haha, you silly cat. See, it’s not so bad, right? You’re just like Dalong. He always griped and fought me to avoid having to get out of bed in the morning, but once he actually started practice for the day, he was always happier for it.”

Yunlong whipped his soggy head upward to look sharply at the slight smile on Ayanga’s face.

“It’s weird, but somehow you remind me of Dalong. It’s how your black fur looks like hair on top of the rest of your white fur. Or maybe because your nose is kind of big, and how your eyes angle upward? Like fox eyes. Very pretty!”

Yunlong yelped. He hadn’t known he could make that sound as a cat. Was his chance to make Ayanga aware of his feelings coming this soon? If only he could get Ayanga to keep going down this train of thought…

“Gazi, it’s me! Dalong! Look closer at me!”

“Oh, I’m sorry! You must be getting cold now while I ramble. I guess you’re clean enough. Let’s get you nice and dry.” Ayanga must have interpreted his desperate meows as complaints, and he lifted Yunlong out of the bath into a fluffy towel (orange and patterned with bunnies, of course). Any more attempts at communication were stifled by Ayanga thoroughly drying him with the towel before turning on the hairdryer.

The loud sound of the hairdryer nearly made Yunlong flip back into terrified cat mode, and he only hung on to his own mind thanks to Ayanga’s reassuring hand on his back.

“OK, all done! Look at how cute and fluffy you are now that you’re clean! What a handsome cat you are~!” Ayanga lifted Yunlong so he could see himself in the mirror. “Wait, let’s take a selfie together.”

What a dork. Yunlong loved him so much it hurt. He tried to make the cutest face he could as Ayanga fished out his phone to take a photo of himself holding Yunlong in the mirror.

“Haha, Dalong will love this.” Ayanga set Yunlong down on the counter and recorded a voice message along with the photo. “Dalong, I found your cat brother! Just like you, he was stinky until I cleaned him up. Isn’t he cute?”

Ayanga smiled down at his phone for a long moment before tucking it back into his pocket. “OK, let’s get your dinner ready! Follow me, kitty.”

After he opened the canned food and set it on a dish, Ayanga still kept checking his phone. At first Yunlong was too occupied with scarfing down the cat food (while trying his best not to imagine how it would have tasted to his human tongue) to notice, but after he cleared his dish, he looked quizzically over at Ayanga. Yunlong’s chest ached to see Ayanga’s face like that as he looked down at his phone, and he leapt up next to him on his couch to try and comfort him.

“There’s no way he’d be asleep already. Is it too soon to message him again?” Ayanga said to him as he absently petted his head. “But he had an audition today. It’s only normal to check on him, right?”

He pulled up the conversation window again to record another message. “How did it go today anyway? You know I’m always happy to debrief with you! And if you want to come over and meet your cat twin brother, I’ll probably be up for a while longer.”

Ayanga hit send, then surprised Yunlong when he flung his phone across the couch, groaning. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, cat. But just, was that too banzhang? Do you think I’m being annoying? What was I thinking, telling him to come over? He must be tired already. Stupid, stupid…”

Yunlong froze where he was for a while. Truthfully, he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t have felt at least a bit frustrated receiving such messages in human form. Of course, he would know that it all came from a genuine place of caring, and he knew he should be grateful to have the attentions of such a caring banzhang. But somehow, some wretched, ungrateful part of Yunlong would have the same guilty feeling as when his mother nagged him. He would feel strangely anxious about the weight of Ayanga’s expectations even despite his transparent attempts to sandwich them between jokes and play it off as lighthearted. It was that weight that made him panic about he was wasting all the effort and energy Ayanga spent on him with his continued struggles and failures.

He would have been so worried about disappointing Ayanga that he never would have imagined Ayanga hid so much insecurity behind his confident, cheery messages.

Ayanga poked at his phone a while longer, hoping for a response that never came. Oh right, the demon had his phone, didn’t it? But it seemed the demon was happy to leave him on read. Yunlong seethed at that. Couldn’t the demon at least have the decency to respond instead of just reading his messages and leaving it like that? What had Ayanga done to deserve this kind of treatment?

Shit, it actually wasn’t totally unlike how Yunlong had been taking his sweet time to respond lately. Sure, he had his reasons – his growing anxiety about letting Ayanga down, his petty sullenness about still being treated as a child or a little brother – but now that he was on the other side, all those reasons were nowhere to be seen. There was only Ayanga, waiting alone by his phone.

Well, if he couldn’t be a decent human, he could at least try to be a decent cat and distract him from his phone. He meowed as sweetly as he could and butted his head against Ayanga’s arm.

“Aww, thanks, cat.” Yunlong’s plan succeeded, and Ayanga set his phone down in favor of giving him some hearty scritches behind the ears. “I guess it’s pretty late already. Dalong probably went to sleep early. He does like his sleep. We should get going to bed too.”

Ayanga found a spare pillow that he set on the desk chair in his bedroom as a makeshift cat bed, and he lifted Yunlong up onto it before settling into bed himself not too far away. As Yunlong sank into the soft pillow, the exhaustion of the day caught up to him, and he quickly fell asleep.

Warm. Safe.

Smell home

Yunlong didn’t know if he was dreaming or awake, but he felt utterly content as he pressed himself into soft warmth, feeling his own body move with the rise and fall of the sturdy chest beneath him.

Wait.

Chest?

He snapped his eyes open to see that he was definitely not where he was last night. At some point, he must have climbed onto Ayanga’s bed, because now he was tightly curled on top of Ayanga’s chest.

For a moment, Yunlong thought Ayanga wasn’t wearing anything at all, until he spotted a frayed strap that had slipped halfway down his bare shoulder, almost completely hidden by the blanket that thankfully lay between them. Why was Ayanga wearing such a tattered tank top as a sleep shirt?

As a human, the sight of Ayanga nearly naked like this first thing in the morning probably would have sparked Yunlong’s attention in the most embarrassing ways, but in his current feline form, he didn’t feel the same swoop of his usual physical attraction to him. Still, the thought that Ayanga might innocently take off his clothes in front of his “cat” was alarming. While Yunlong had long since seen it all during their dorm days, it felt wrong to see Ayanga naked when he had no idea his “cat” was actually the man who had a desperate crush on him. Yunlong resolved to avoid looking at him in such situations moving forward.

In fact, it was probably best for his continued sanity to get off Ayanga’s chest entirely. But it was a chilly morning, and every instinct in him was reluctant to leave his heat source. Damn it, he was purring again, wasn’t he?

To make matters worse, Ayanga chose that moment to sleepily bring an arm up to gently wrap around him. “Good morning, cat. You didn’t like your pillow?”

Well, too late to make an escape now. Yunlong nuzzled Ayanga’s hand before he could think about what he was doing, making his inner human curl up in embarrassment even as it brought a smile to Ayanga’s face.

“We just met yesterday and already you’re sleeping on top of me? Heh, you really do remind me of Dalong…” Ayanga’s smile faltered, as if he suddenly thought of something, and he stretched his free arm out while still keeping Yunlong cradled on his chest to grab his phone from his bedside table. He flipped through it one-handed, and Yunlong could see from his position that he was opening his chat window with him again. “No response yet. What am I worried about, it’s still early. Guess he’s sleeping in. It is the day after an audition, after all.”

Ayanga sighed heavily, throwing his phone aside in favor of petting Yunlong some more. “We have plenty to take care of in the meantime, anyway. I gotta get you to the vet today.”

The very word “vet” sent a cold shiver down Yunlong’s spine all the way through to the tip of his tail. Would a vet be able to identify him as a fake cat? Even worse, would a well-meaning vet convince Ayanga that his intact tomcat should be neutered?

Ayanga shuffled around his apartment looking for a box big enough to carry Yunlong in, and Yunlong took the opportunity to look for a hiding place. He wasn’t sure if he was following his own prior experience with cats or his newly acquired feline instincts as he dove under Ayanga’s bed and crouched at the farthest corner, hopefully out of the reach of Ayanga’s long arms.

“Kitty, where did you go? I finally found a big box!” Ayanga’s voice echoed through the apartment, and Yunlong tried to shrink as small as he could. “Come on, I already made an appointment! Oh wait, I should get the treats.”

Yunlong heard the rattle of the bag and the seal opening before the scent of treats hit his brain and sent him straight into cat mode.

Smell good

Want!

WANT!

Give give give

The sound of Ayanga’s giggle snapped Yunlong back to himself, and he blinked to find that he had climbed halfway up Ayanga’s leg in his pursuit of the treats.

“You must be hungry! I didn’t give you breakfast yet, after all. I read on the internet not to feed you too much before a car ride in case you get carsick. But can you get your claws out of my thigh, please?”

Ayanga gently nudged at Yunlong’s head, and he sheepishly let himself be pushed off, but not before his cat brain took over long enough to lick at Ayanga’s fingers, still scented with the treats.

“Okay, okay, just get into the box and you can have it!” With that, Ayanga tossed the treats into the cardboard box he had found, clearly getting the lid ready in the meantime.

Oh no, Yunlong couldn’t let himself be tricked, however good the treats smelled to his cat brain. He frantically looked around for an exit, but Ayanga had him blocked off in a corner.

“Kitty, it’s for your own good,” Ayanga pleaded. “I need to make sure you didn’t get sick from being on the street. You were pretty stinky, you know.”

That gave Yunlong pause. He had touched a mouse in a trash can with his bare paw, after all, so it was entirely possible he did pick up something horrible. He would never forgive himself if he gave Ayanga rabies.

If only Ayanga knew Yunlong was literally risking his own balls to keep him safe.

He hung his head and sadly crawled into the box, feeling rather noble over his sacrifice. Ayanga carefully closed the lid and pushed some more treats in through the holes on the side of the box.

“Good boy! Good timing too – the taxi just got here.”

Even though Yunlong knew his destination was going to be unpleasant, being in the enclosed space of the box was oddly calming, especially once Ayanga rested the box on his lap in the taxi and he could feel Ayanga’s body heat through the cardboard.

“Purring again? You are just the sweetest cat, aren’t you?”

Yunlong could barely even feel embarrassed about it anymore as he slowly blinked at Ayanga through the holes in the box. He was a cat now, and cats purred, all right?!

“I really should think of a name for you too. I can’t just keep calling you kitty or cat. I know, how about Stinky? Chouchou?”

Yunlong hissed. That was unfair! He definitely wasn’t stinky anymore after his bath!

“No? Gosh, don’t look at me like that. You really remind me of Dalong when he’s pouting and makes you feel like you’re the meanest person in the world to make him sad. And you seriously still do remind me of Dalong a lot in general. I didn’t realize a cat could have such a big nose, heh.”

Yunlong sniffed huffily.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very handsome big nose! Very manly. What if, what if I called you Xiaolong?”

Wait, was it possible Ayanga might actually deduct the truth? This was certainly a promising start for him to connect cat Yunlong with actual human Yunlong. Yunlong chirped with excitement.

“Xiaolong it is then! And if anyone thinks it’s weird that I named you after Dalong, I’ll just tell them that actually you’re Bruce Lee. But we’ll know the truth,” Ayanga beamed at him before his smile faltered. “I mean, I would call you Xiaolong if I decided I were keeping you. Maybe the vet heard from your real owner already though. I shouldn’t get too attached at this point.”

Yunlong whined, stretching his paw out through a hole in the box to press against Ayanga’s stomach. “Don’t leave me!” he yowled.

“Ah, you’re a crybaby too, Xiaolong. Just like your brother Dalong.”

Yunlong was tempted to slap him for that, but he didn’t want to hurt his chances of Ayanga keeping him.

The rest of the car ride flew by as Ayanga kept chattering away at him. Yunlong couldn’t help but remember how Ayanga had been back in the early days of college, after they finally broke the awkward ice between them and Ayanga had fixed upon him as a conversational partner to improve his Mandarin. Did Ayanga keep that habit of constant speech after all?

Or was he really just as lonely as Yunlong felt?

But Yunlong didn’t have time to continue his pondering, because Ayanga was lifting his box and carrying him somewhere. The sudden astringent smell of disinfectant stung at his nose, magnified by his enhanced senses, and he felt himself going tense in the box.

“Oh what, you’re all poofy!” Ayanga peered inside the box. “Don’t be scared, Xiaolong. There aren’t even any dogs in here today.”

Yunlong had no idea how to make his fur stop standing on end or how to get his ears to stand up again from where they were pressed flat against his skull.

“Would it help if I sang for you? Hm, what kind of song would a cat like… oh, I know!”

Yunlong’s ears perked up just a bit from their flattened position.

“The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat.

The Rum Tum Tugger doesn’t care for a snuggle.”

Of all the songs Yunlong thought Ayanga might have sung, that was the last one he expected. A confused mrrt rumbled out of his throat.

“The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore.

The Rum Tum Tugger…

“Oh gosh, what’s the next line again?” Ayanga simply hummed the next few bars. “Sorry, it’s been a while. But I do remember this next part!

“For he will do as he do do, and there’s no doing anything abou-oo-ou-out that!”

Yunlong didn’t think he could laugh as a cat, but he managed to let out a short, lilting chirp all the same.

“Haha, I haven’t thought about that song in so long. It must be because you’re such a handsome cat that I suddenly remembered it! All the girl cats probably fall over themselves for you.”

Basking in the praise, Yunlong purred happily.

“Probably all the more reason it’s important to fix you as soon as possible,” Ayanga continued with a sigh.

Yunlong’s purr froze in his throat.

“That’s our number – let’s go! Be a brave, handsome boy, ok?”

Sadly, it was too late for Yunlong to knock the lid off the box and run away as Ayanga carried him into the appointment room.

Yunlong had never liked going to the doctor, but it was ten times worse as a cat. The veterinarian was kind and gentle enough, but no amount of gentleness could have prepared him for how a cat’s temperature was taken.

At least Ayanga had the decency to wince at Yunlong’s yowl once the thermometer was in. Yunlong was impressed by his own self-control at not snapping his head backward to bite the vet, but he couldn’t help sulking even long after the thermometer was removed, as the vet poked and prodded at him to assess his physical condition.

“For a stray, this cat is in really good condition. A little on the chubby side, but nothing to worry about. Just make sure he gets plenty of play and exercise.”

“No wonder he was so heavy. Was there anyone who came around looking for him?”

“No, and the microchip reader didn’t pick up anything either. Are you going to keep him?”

“He is a very cute cat… but I don’t know… I probably need to travel a lot and work long hours with what I do. It might not be the best home for a cat.”

No!

Yunlong leapt onto Ayanga’s chest, trusting that he would catch him (and he did.) He shamelessly purred and rubbed his head against Ayanga’s cheek, not caring how embarrassing it was. His life was on the line here!

The vet chuckled. “I’m not sure you have much choice in the matter. This cat already seems bonded to you. But I’ll let you know if anyone comes asking around after him.”

Still somewhat stunned, Ayanga patted gently at Yunlong’s head. “Okay, I guess I have a cat now. I’ve never had a cat before.”

“First thing you can do is get him fixed.”

Yunlong went rigid in Ayanga’s arms.

“How soon should I do that?”

The vet flipped through a schedule. “We’re pretty busy for the next weeks or so… well, it wouldn’t be bad for him to have some more time to settle into your home before that stressful experience anyway. Let’s do it in a month. Okay, last thing for you today is your shots, and then you’ll be all done, big boy!”

At least the shots weren’t as bad as the thermometer.

Still, now it seemed there was a hard time limit on Yunlong’s mission. He didn’t want this to last long enough to find out whether losing his balls as a cat would carry through to his human form.

The only upside to the vet visit was that Ayanga had been too busy to check his phone the whole time, but now, in taxi ride back home with Yunlong’s new cat carrier (the vet had insisted Ayanga buy a replacement for the cardboard box he had brought him in) secured on his lap, Ayanga pulled his phone out of his pocket again. Of course, he was met with the same disappointing lack of answer from Yunlong.

“I should just stop thinking about it for now,” Ayanga sighed. “Give him his space and keep myself busy until he’s ready to talk about it. I guess it turned out to be a good thing you showed up when you did, Xiaolong.”

Yunlong meowed sadly and swore to himself that if he managed to succeed and turn back into a human, he’d respond to every message instantly from now on.

Ayanga wasn’t as chatty with him as usual the rest of the ride, his expression distant and contemplative from what Yunlong could see through the mesh flap of the carrier.

“OK, I’m going to go buy some other supplies for you. Can you stay alone and be a good boy while I’m gone?”

Yunlong blinked up and nodded at him, and Ayanga left him after a few gentle pats on his head.

He was just wondering how to keep himself busy after the door closed behind Ayanga, when the compulsion of his cat brain struck again.

Bad smell from bad place on fur!

Off off off off off

Lick lick lick

All off!

When Yunlong’s mind was his own again, he found himself bent in two with his front paws splayed on either side of him while his tongue was combing through the long fur on his stomach. Now that he was getting used to these moments, they felt slightly less disorienting. At the very least, he wasn’t so panicked now, and he could even wryly laugh to himself that for once in his life, he must be more flexible than Ayanga now.

Still, he felt a bit worn-out from that grooming session, and he trotted back into Ayanga’s bedroom, meaning to take a nap. But as he leapt up on the bed, he caught sight of the desk. Ayanga had left a notebook and some pens out, probably working on his latest song.

He didn’t want to pry into Ayanga’s works in progress until Ayanga was ready to share with him, but he did have to find some way to communicate with him. Maybe writing was the best bet.

Yunlong jumped onto the desk for a closer look. Actually, because of the way his new eyes worked, he couldn’t focus on anything on the page in front of him well enough to read it. He could only make out a vague, slightly blur that must have been words.

His whiskers, meanwhile, were hypersensitive to even the slightest movement of how the wind from the sliver of open window made the page quiver beneath his face.

Yunlong tried to flip the notebook to an empty page. He winced when he shredded the corner of the current page with his first attempt, forgetting to retract his claws. But when he pawed at the page with his claws tucked away, he ended up wrinkling half the pages in the book. Oh well, at least now the page looked empty enough.

It should be simple enough, right? Yunlong had spent his whole life writing. Surely it would be a simple matter to just transfer that knowledge into his new form.

OK, he just had to pick up the pen first. If he sat back on his hind legs like this, that freed his hand – front paws – to reach around the pen, one on each side. Now he just had to curl his paws and bring them upward –

The pen flipped up into the air and landed to clatter across the table.

Rolly polly fun!!! Play some more! Hit! Hit! Catch!

Yunlong shook his head to force his cat thoughts down.

No, cat! No time to play! Yunlong had something vitally important he needed to do!

After scooping at the pen with his paws for what must have been a solid ten minutes at least, he finally figured out a way to apply less pressure and evenly on both sides so the pen was propped up vertically against the page.

Now to write.

As he struggled to get the pen to move from his upright seated position, it dawned on Yunlong that perhaps picking up the pen had been the easy part.

The ballpoint pen required some pressure for the ink to flow, pressure that Yunlong was entirely incapable of exerting in his awkward grasp. He tried arching his back slightly, and to his delight, that worked in driving the tip of the pen into the paper. Next, he tried to move his upper body just a tad to the lower left, trying to write the first stroke of “I am Dalong.” Surely it wouldn’t be too bad? Just… what was it, twenty-four strokes?

The pen flipped out of his grasp again, and Yunlong’s yowl of frustration echoed through the empty apartment.

This clearly wasn’t going to work. Well, if writing with his hands like a human was off the table, then he would have to try a different approach. Maybe if he could get the ink directly on his paws, then he wouldn’t have to worry about holding anything. He hadn’t wanted to make a mess of Ayanga’s things, but desperate times called for the desperate measure of biting the barrel of the pen, despite how gross the plastic and ink tasted in his mouth.

The taste of ink meant he was getting close! He chewed nearly through the pen when he judged he had enough of the thick ballpoint ink to work with.

He gingerly pressed his paws in and –

STICKY

YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK

GET IT OFF GET IT OFF

“Xiaolong! What are you doing?”

At the sound of Ayanga’s voice, Yunlong froze. He was tangled in the blankets on the bed, and all around him, the sheets were covered with dark blue pawprints.

Aghast, Ayanga dropped the bag of supplies he had bought, the crash making Yunlong jump (and tangling him further in the blanket).

If Yunlong hadn’t been in love with Ayanga already, he would fallen in love right then and there at how Ayanga briefly closed his eyes, exhaled while clearly counting to ten, muttered to himself “Cats are a big responsibility, you knew this, Gazi,” and proceeded to calmly disentangle Yunlong from the blankets before giving him a bath with the new cat shampoo he had just bought.

Yunlong tried to convey his guilt and gratitude as best he could, blinking sadly up at Ayanga and nuzzling his hand. At least he managed to stay in control of himself during his bath this time and avoid any repeat clawing accidents.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute,” Ayanga muttered. “A shameless trait you share with your human brother.”

Wait, what?

Did he hear that correctly?

Did Ayanga just call him cute? Or should he say, did Ayanga just call human Yunlong cute?

It wouldn’t have been the first time, but it definitely hit Yunlong differently to hear Ayanga say it to himself like that and not just joking around in front of friends.

Was there actually some hope that his feelings might be returned?

Or did Ayanga think Yunlong the human was cute in the same way as his cat – as a pet to be taken care of and nurtured by his banzhang?

His mind was still reeling as Ayanga toweled and blow-dried his fur, his thoughts interrupted only by the sudden realization that he needed to use the bathroom.

Well, they were already in the bathroom. Yunlong had seen funny cat videos on the internet before of cats who had been trained to use toilets. Surely he could figure it out as a human-turned-cat.

In front of Ayanga’s amazed gaze, he leapt up onto the toilet seat. Now he just had to crouch – he really wished he could tell Ayanga to look away –

His paws slipped on the cold porcelain, and for a horrible moment he thought Ayanga would have to give him a third bath in two days, but luckily Ayanga’s quick dancer reflexes kicked in and he caught Yunlong before he could fall into the toilet bowl.

“Poor kitty! It’s my fault for not getting you a litter box earlier. But I just bought one now, okay? Use this!”

And Yunlong was subject to the humiliating display of Ayanga trying to teach him to use the litterbox by pawing at the litter while looking pointedly at Yunlong.

Fine, if it would get both him and Ayanga out of another bath, then Yunlong would use the damn litterbox. He did his business as Ayanga encouraged and praised him.

If he did manage to turn back into a human, he was never going to live this down.

He finished and made to step out of the box, and then –

So light! Tummy feels nice and light! Unencumbered! Unburdened and unbothered!

Run! Run! Fun to run!

“Haha! They call that the zoomies, right?”

He really never was going to live this down.

“Wait, the vet told me about this! This means you need to play to release your excess energy. Good thing I just bought a bunch of toys too.”

And to Yunlong’s embarrassment, he felt his ears perk up at the jingle of a bell as Ayanga fished out a cat teaser wand toy from the bag of supplies he bought. Even the world went into sharper focus as his pupils dilated with his undeniable interest.

Resistance seemed futile. Maybe if he let his cat brain take over and get it out of his system, his instincts would simmer down for a while.

YAY YAY YAY FUN FUN FUN

Gazi is so fun!

I love him so much!

Yunlong lay on the back of the couch. After getting tired out from running around frantically chasing the toy for at least half an hour, he purred contentedly as Ayanga scratched behind his ears. He hadn’t felt this at peace with the world in a long, long time.

He had to admit being a cat wasn’t so bad after all. If not for knowing how there were people who would be hurt by his disappearance, he might have been content to stay like this forever.

What was it the demon had said? No work, no worries, only meow meow?

Would only meow meow under Ayanga’s loving care really be such a terrible thing?

No, he mentally shook himself. He had to remember all the reasons he couldn’t just give up on his human self, all the people who would be hurt by his disappearance. He knew he had to keep trying to get through to Ayanga.

But for now, tired out after the long day he had, he wanted to rest and enjoy the rare comfort he had found. Tomorrow. He would try again tomorrow.

Sun is shining, time to wake up

Hungry!

Ask Gazi for food

Meow! Meow!

Gazi is getting food quickly. Gazi is good human.

Am full. Now want pets.

Gazi’s hands are so soft and nice~

OK, now time to play!

Purr… purr…

Wait, something is wrong.

I need to check something. Something with Gazi.

I need to… I need to get through to him!

Yunlong emerged from cat mode with a little yelp, startling Ayanga from where he had been on his lap kneading happily.

That was the longest he had been in cat mode so far. And this time, it wasn’t even triggered by any kind of stimulation in particular. He had simply woken up as a cat and stayed that way.

Maybe it was a fluke, Yunlong tried nervously to reassure himself. Still, the sooner he communicated with Ayanga, the better.

Unfortunately, Ayanga had put away all his pens after the ink incident, though Yunlong was loath for a repeat of that anyway. His chance unexpectedly came later that day, when Ayanga pulled out his laptop to work on something after lunch.

He eagerly leapt onto the desk. Surely his cat paws would find typing easier than wrangling a pen.

Only trouble was, he still could barely make out what was on the screen or on the keyboard. Damn these cat eyes that were only good for spotting mice running through fields at night!

He only managed to stomp around for a few flustered moments before he found himself being bodily lifted up into the air by Ayanga.

“Bad Xiaolong! Keyboards aren’t for cats, ok? Don’t you know how Andrew Lloyd Webber lost his entire first draft of the score for Love Never Dies? It was his cat jumping onto his keyboard that accidentally deleted everything! Look, you almost sent a weird email to Xiao laoshi.”

Yunlong paused in his flailing. He hadn’t considered that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to randomly stomp around on Ayanga’s keyboard. What if he did accidentally send weird emails to important producers or deleted his files? The last thing he wanted was to inconvenience Ayanga even more than he had already.

Ayanga kept typing away on his laptop, but this time with his arms shielding both sides of the keyboard from any further attempts by Yunlong. Yunlong tried pawing at his hands, but Ayanga ignored him, saying, “I’ll play with you some more later, ok? But I need to finish responding to these emails. I gotta earn money for your wet food cans by going on these shows.”

Oh, then he really shouldn’t interrupt.

If Yunlong was honest with himself, it was almost a relief to have to give up this avenue too. He had been so wrapped up in just the method of establishing communication that he had almost forgotten all it entailed.

He couldn’t just tell Ayanga that he was Yunlong trapped in cat form. The demon’s condition was that he had to confess his love too.

And despite everything, it still scared him. He was going to keep trying, of course he was, but it felt so easy to put it off, to take the strange crumbs he had been given and continue being Ayanga’s pet cat, give up on his dreams of both musicals and love that were so painful to reach for.

Tired

So tired

Nap now. Gazi here. Safe.

…

Sun has set. Moon is up.

Time to hunt!

What’s that sound? Jingly toy!

Gazi is playing with me!

Catch it catch it catch it!

Gazi is laughing! I’ll roll around with this toy some more!

Hungry!

Time for food again!

Yummy can! Give! Give! Give faster! Meow! Meow! Meooowwwww!

Tummy full. Time for snuggles.

Gazi got into his bed. It’s cold! Must conserve body heat. Must sleep on top of human.

…

Sun is out! Another happy day!

…

Meow! Meow! Meowwwww!

…

Life is great! Another day of the same stability and comfort. Secure in my territory and in my colony. I don’t need to worry about anything. I don’t need to push myself and try hard or scary things.

It’s wonderful being a cat, right?

Right?

Right…?

Oh no, how long was it this time?

Ayanga was on the phone. “…you haven’t talked to him yet either? It’s already been a week since his audition. I know he can get a bit… moody after, but this isn’t like him.”

A week?! Yunlong’s paws went cold.

“He did text me back yesterday, but it was really short. He just said he didn’t feel like talking now. But that totally means he really needs to talk, doesn’t it?”

Damn that asshole of a demon!

“What? I’m being annoying again? What’s that supposed to mean? Dachuan, can’t you at least text him too? Wait, so he did say the same thing to you already too?”

Yunlong jumped up to Ayanga’s side, and Ayanga absently started petting him, though his brow was still deeply creased.

“Okay, well… let me know if he says anything else to you. If he doesn’t talk to me in another week, I’m calling his mom.” Ayanga listened for a moment, then suddenly, his face went red. “I’m not… it’s not like that! I’m just worried, ok? We’ll talk later, Dachuan. Bye.”

What had Dachuan said to get Ayanga so flustered? Ayanga’s mind was clearly a million miles away, still staring at his silent phone in one hand while he worked his other hand through Yunlong’s long fur with more agitation than usual.

“Dachuan, what the hell…” Ayanga muttered to himself. “I’m not that obvious, am I?”

Petting too fast

Too much

Wrong way on fur!!!

NO MORE!

“Ah!”

Yunlong’s heart stopped for a moment, his paw still suspended midair after delivering a healthy slap to Ayanga’s hand that had been petting him. He frantically looked at Ayanga’s hand, but thankfully he didn’t see any marks. His cat brain must have had the decency to keep his claws retracted.

“Okay, point taken.” Ayanga smiled ruefully, his eyes shadowed. “I’m just kind of a nuisance to everyone today, aren’t I?”

Yunlong meowed in apology and gently headbutted Ayanga’s hand.

“Such mixed messages from you,” Ayanga sighed. “Xiaolong and Dalong, you really are two peas in a pod. I know, I know, it’s not your fault. That was on me. I was just reading yesterday about how cats can get overstimulated from too much petting – I should have known better. Maybe that’s just my problem in general.”

Yunlong didn’t think it was possible to feel this guilty in a cat’s body. He needed to break this stupid curse already and apologize to Ayanga, not just for making him worry this time, but for all the times he made him worry before that, for all the times he left his messages unread because he found them overwhelming.

But a cat’s body wasn’t equipped to handle so many negative feelings, and he felt his mind retreating, being beaten back by the cat brain that insisted it could take over and do a better job of keeping himself healthy and safe. He wouldn’t have to keep thinking negative thoughts if he couldn’t think. He could just be comfortable and happy, if he just gave in…

Gazi looks sad sitting there alone.

Lap time

But don’t pet like that again or another slap!

Good Gazi, he learned this time. Nice small gentle pats.

Purr, purr, purr…

…

Sun is up! Time to eat!

Give food faster! Meow!

Mrrrrt! Play with Gazi! Meow, meow.

Purrrrr purr purr

…

Eat!

Meow! Mrrrrt!

Play!

Purr

…

Meow

…

Mrrrt?

Sound

Sound is Gazi’s voice. But not normal voice.

Gazi is singing.

Gazi is singing!

Listen to his voice!

Why can’t I understand his words anymore? I know He’s singing in Chinese but I can’t… is this the end for me? Am I really a cat now?

If I could just focus on his voice…! I need to… need to remember…

But I don’t know this song…

Ayanga stopped singing, pausing the background track on his phone as he looked over at Yunlong. “Are you listening to me practice, Xiaolong? Do you like singing?”

What is he saying? I don’t understand…

“Oh wait, I do know a special song for you! Wait, I need to look up the lyrics… ok, here we go!

“You've heard of several kinds of cat,

And my opinion now is that

You should need no interpreter

To understand our character.

You've learned enough to take the view