Work Text:
The bar itself had been easy to find but parking was another story. Blackbeard’s was on a cute little main street, full of the kind of shops Stede would normally have liked to poke around in, but because of how many trendy shops and restaurants and bars dotted this one road, parking was abysmal and Stede found himself circling the nearby neighborhood for ten minutes, trying to find a spot he could fit his compact into. Luckily for him, after his fifth loop, a Subaru was leaving and Stede hurried to take the spot, only about two blocks away.
Now it was just his nerves he had to worry about.
After the divorce and coming out (coming out and the divorce?), Stede had a lot of things on his plate and dating hadn’t been a priority. He had to find an apartment, figure out the best ways to co-parent with Mary, adjust to a new commute, a new normal. Dating would come when it came and not a minute sooner.
Of course, all that had been five years ago and after a comment to the effect of ‘things will happen when they happen’ at brunch a few weeks ago, Lucius had finally snapped.
“Nothing will happen unless you let it happen,” he’d poked his fork at Stede to emphasize his point, a tiny bit of omelet still hanging off the end. “You need to put yourself out there. It’s been long enough.”
Despite his best efforts, Lucius was not taking no (or rather ‘oh, I don’t know. I have a lot going on’) for an answer. Before he knew it, he was set up on a blind date with someone that Pete knew from work, a guy named Sam who Lucius had not met but promised was handsome, nice, and normal.
“You don’t have to fall in love with this guy,” Lucius assured him the night before, armed with fashion advice (‘not that shirt, love, you’re going to a relaxed bar, not a nightclub in the 90s’), ice cream, and a confidence boost. “Honestly, if you did, I might be a little worried. This is just to get you back in the swing of things, so when you meet someone you do like, you feel like you can manage a date.”
Stede got out of his car and felt his stomach drop to his feet. He didn’t want to do this, not really. But Lucius was right: if he wanted to find his person (and he did, he really did), then he had to actually go looking for them. And apparently the first place to check was Blackbeard’s on Hawthorne.
He was running early by a good half hour, the remnants of anxiety pushing him out of his apartment forty five minutes ago, despite Google Maps saying it should only take fifteen to get him here. But the excuse of bad parking and not wanting to anxiously pace trails in the living room carpet was plenty of reason to head out early, scope the place out, and maybe relax a little. If that were at all possible.
After a little bit of window shopping on his walk over, he finally entered Blackbeard’s. It was a lovely little bar, plenty of seating and big windows to let in the light. Stede found himself thinking that, regardless of how the night went, at least he found a nice place to come back to. It was comfortable in a way most bars weren’t.
There was still quite a bit of time before he was supposed to meet Sam so Stede took himself to the counter to get a drink. He’d eaten a quick sandwich before he left, the place served food according to the website but he didn’t want to tie himself to a meal in case things weren’t great, but it’d be nice to at least have something in his hands should things get awkward.
“What can I get you, mate?” a kind voice asked from behind the bar and Stede startled a bit, not even aware he’d been kind of zoned out. He turned to find an absolutely gorgeous man looking back at him, gray hair pulled back in a sloppy bun, lazy smile on his face.
“Oh, um, just a Coke, I think,” Stede spluttered slightly but the man just smiled again and walked over to the side to grab a glass. He scooped some ice in and began to fill it with soda.
“Not feeling anything stronger quite yet?” the man asked and Stede smiled as he handed over his card.
“I’m not a big drinker in the first place and I’m actually here for a blind date so I don’t really want to get too knackered,” Stede admitted, taking a sip.
“Blind date, huh?” the bartender asked, waving the card asking if he should keep it or hand it back. Stede gestured in a way that said ‘keep it.’ “What’s the lucky lady’s name?”
“Er, his name is Sam, I’m pretty sure,” Stede replied, a little flushed at the attention. “To be honest, I’m not one hundred percent comfortable dating yet but my friends assure me that ‘putting myself out there’ is going to improve my life in some form.”
“Just come out?” the bartender smiled kindly.
“Yes and no?” Stede shrugged. “Technically, I came out five-ish years ago but it was complicated. It’s hard enough making friends when you’re older, let alone dating while newly out and divorced with two kids. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
“Bartender, comes with the territory. So,” he glanced down at the credit card, “Stede Bonnet, is this your first ever date with a man?”
“I guess so?”
“Oh man, okay,” the bartender rubbed his hands together. “So here’s how we’re going to work this.”
Stede glanced at the man, confused.
“Just consider me your wingman, okay? I’ve got your back this whole night. If things get weird, I’ll get you out. If he tries anything, I’ll throw him out.” Stede laughed a little but the bartender wasn’t joking. “Seriously. If I’m not at the bar for whatever reason, you just tell someone you need Ed and I’ll be there.”
“Well, that’s very kind, Ed, but I couldn’t put you out like that.”
“No trouble,” Ed assured him. “As owner of this bar, I gotta look after my clientele. Especially the cute ones.”
Stede flushed to his roots and took another sip of his drink, missing Ed’s wink.
His date must have been running late but Stede didn’t mind. He was actually having a lovely time. Ed was fascinating. The two of them talked like they’d known each other forever, Ed surprising laugh after laugh out of Stede while Stede almost made Ed drop the glass he was wiping down as he chuckled over Stede retelling the story of how he met Lucius. It wasn’t until he heard a quiet cough behind him that Stede even remembered the real reason he was here.
“Stede? Stede Bonnet?”
Stede made eye contact with Ed one last time, trying not to grimace, before turning around to meet his date. Sam Bellemy was a nice enough looking man–Stede would probably have called him handsome if he hadn’t spent the past forty five minutes looking at Ed–a strong jaw and thick brown hair. He held his hand out to shake and Stede took it awkwardly.
“You must be Sam.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Stede!” Sam smiled a little too widely, though maybe that was unkind, maybe he was just nervous. “Pete’s told me all about you.”
“He has?” How does one reply to that? “Only good things, I hope.” Yeah, that sounded right.
“The best!” Sam assured. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Oh,” Stede glanced down to the forgotten glass in his hand, the remnants of ice melting at the bottom. “I guess so.”
“What would you like?” Sam asked, completely ignoring Ed who stood there shooting glances between the two of them. “I think I’m going to get something a little jazzy.”
Stede didn’t know what that meant but he was fairly sure it wasn’t what he wanted.
“I’m actually not drinking at the moment,” Stede began, deciding it was better to say he wasn’t drinking now rather than he wasn’t drinking with Sam, “so if Ed has any suggestions…”
“Oh, of course!” Sam smiled. “Well, if you’re not drinking, I’m not drinking. Alcohol can impair your reflexes for up to two weeks after you drink it, you know!” Sam winked at him and Stede had no idea how to reply to that. “Barkeep! Two of your best virgin drinks!”
Stede caught Ed’s eye, actually grimacing this time at his date’s lack of tact, but Ed just winked at him before going “Two drinks, coming up!”
“So, Stede,” Sam sidled up to him, pulling his attention away from Ed working his magic behind the bar, “tell me about yourself.”
“Oh, um,” Stede began, one eye still on Ed, “I thought Pete told you all about me.”
“Only the general stuff,” Sam began, ticking off his fingers. “Divorced dad, works in a law office, pretty fashionable.” Sam looked down at Stede’s teal ensemble with a grin. “Which I’d have to agree with.”
Before Stede could respond, two drinks were thunked down on the bar between them. The one closer to Stede was a colorful little number, all orange and yellow and a little umbrella at the top. Sam’s was clear.
“Two virgin drinks,” Ed muttered a little gruffly before walking down the bar to help another customer.
Stede took a sip of his and it was delicious. A little tart, a citrus-flavor for sure, but with an underlying sweetness that lingered. He turned to Sam and inquired as to his with a little silent wave.
“I think mine’s just seltzer,” Sam shrugged before grabbing his drink and leading them towards a table by the window.
The thing was, Sam was fine. In fact, he was kind of aggressively agreeable, mostly nice but just so boring. Which wasn’t fair, you couldn’t know everything about a person in a first meeting like this but every topic of conversation Stede attempted to bring up, Sam just shot down. Not intentionally but simply by having no opinion.
On what his favorite television shows were:
“Oh, I don’t know. I mostly watch the news.”
Upon hearing that Stede’s favorite hobby was reading:
“Oh, cool. Recommend a book to me!”
When asked what kind of books he liked:
“Oh, no clue. I don’t like reading.”
Upon Stede asking in frustration, ‘Movies?’:
“Oh, I’ll watch a movie. But only once. After that, you already know what happens so what’s the point?”
Stede wanted to scream.
Instead, he kept making up excuses to leave the table. He was definitely not going to the bar to talk to Ed, no. He was using the bathroom. He was getting a glass of water. He was asking Ed for another one of those yummy orange drinks.
Okay, so maybe he was making up excuses to go talk to Ed. But who could blame him? Ed was like a beacon calling out to him from across the room, a snarky smile on his face each time Stede made eye contact while Sam told him about the supposedly funny thing he heard on his MSNBC podcast the night before. They’d known each other for at most two hours but each time Stede walked by, Ed knew exactly how to tease him to wind his anxiety back down, put a smile back on his face before he walked back over to his slow-motion car wreck of a date.
Somehow Sam managed to make their chat last two and a half hours, Stede smiling rigidly towards the end if only so that things weren’t awkward for Pete at work later. He’d decided within the first twenty minutes that going on another date with Sam wasn’t in the cards but he was nothing if not polite and when Sam checked his phone and mentioned that he’d have to get going, Stede breathed an internal sigh of relief.
“Let me walk you to your car,” Sam insisted and Stede hesitated too long to say no in a non-rude way. As Stede shucked his coat on, he glanced over at Ed, who was helping another customer. No chance to say goodbye then.
Politely but firmly shaking off the hand Sam placed at the small of his back, Stede led them out of the bar and down the couple of blocks to his car. Parking has not gotten any better in the hours since he arrived and Sam indicated that he’d parked even further away in the opposite direction.
“Well, it was lovely to meet you,” Stede smiled lightly as he unlocked the driver’s side door. “Get home safe.”
“You, too!” Sam enthused. “Text me when you get home.”
“Um, sure.” Stede had no intention of doing so.
“This was so great. We’ll have to do it again,” Sam tried again, reaching out for a hug and Stede felt bad enough for him that he returned it, awkwardly patting Sam’s back.
“Yes, it was lovely.” Stede agreed, making sure to say nothing about doing it again.
“See you later!” Sam waved, walking a bit away and then watching Stede. Oh yes, he was supposed to be leaving.
Stede hurriedly got in his car, shut the door, and waved. This was enough for Sam, who turned and continued walking in the direction he’d parked.
He putzed around on his phone, refreshing twitter and checking his emails, until Sam was out of sight. The minute it felt safe, he got back out of his car, locked it, and walked back to Blackbeard’s.
“You’re back!” is the first thing Stede heard when he walked in the door and he couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face as he walked to the bar where Ed waited.
“I’m back,” he agreed, sitting on a stool as Ed handed him a glass of water.
“I mean, knew you’d have to come back for this,” Ed slid Stede’s credit card across the bar to him (and how hadn’t he noticed he’d forgotten?), “but also, seems like you need a debrief.”
“Ed, he was so boring,” Stede sighed, melting into the counter as laid his head on his hands. “The man doesn’t watch anything ,doesn’t read anything, his most fascinating story was about something he’d heard on NPR.”
“You don’t like NPR?”
“I love NPR! But I also like literally a million other things!”
Ed chuckled at Stede’s clear frustration and it took the sting out of the wasted evening. But then, was it even wasted? Cause he was sitting here with a man that made him feel comfortable from the moment he’d met him and maybe that wasn’t what he’d come here for originally but lesser men than Stede noticed good things when they found them.
“Well, I promise not all dates are like that. I bet your next one will be better.”
Stede huffed a laugh. “And how can you be so sure?”
“Cause I’m going to be on it, too.”
Stede’s head shot up from his hands in time to see Ed looking slightly nervous, still wiping the same spot on the bar he’d been cleaning when Stede sat down.
“As some kind of chaperone?”
Ed’s head whipped around and when he took in Stede’s completely serious, slightly bewildered expression, he burst out laughing. Which was better than the nerves from earlier but Stede still didn’t quite understand.
“No, mate,” Ed said through giggles. “A date. With me. I’m asking you out. If you’d like.”
Oh. Oh.
“Oh! Um, yes, please!” Stede could feel the blush rising in his cheeks and wanted to kick himself for how eager he sounded but how could he not be? This beautiful, funny, interesting man wanted to go on a date with him?
“Yeah?” Ed asked again, smiled turned a little shy.
“Yeah,” Stede agreed, nodding a little over energetically.
“Fuck yeah!” Ed whooped and Stede chuckled, trying to ignore all the eyes on the back of his head. But then again, let them look. He just (somehow) scored a date with the handsomest man in the place. Let them be jealous.
“I’m making you another drink, on the house,” Ed grinned. “What’ll it be?”
“Whatever you think,” Stede shrugged. “I trust you.”
“You do, don’t you?” Ed asked, a little bit of wonderment in his tone but Stede didn’t have a chance to overthink it as the man spun around and began rushing around, whipping up another fancy drink, this time bright red. Stede couldn’t place the flavor, other than tasty.
“Special mix,” Ed shrugged, not divulging the drink but smiling softly, like he’d let Stede in on a secret, one Stede might not quite understand yet but was excited to learn.
Stede stayed til close, chatting with Ed and checking his phone when Ed had to go do his actual job. Lucius had texted asking how the date had gone and Stede replied with a thumbs down followed by a thumbs up. This, of course, led to a lot of question marks but Stede was ignoring them. He’d deal with Lucius in the morning.
A couple of Ed’s bar staff looked at him a bit askance when he was still there after they locked up for the night but said nothing when Ed waved them off. And then, for the second time that night, Stede was being walked to his car.
“Do you live far?” he asked, wondering if he should offer Ed a ride.
“Oh, no,” Ed waved him off. “Walking distance, a few blocks thataway. Makes it easy to get into work but I’ve developed a bad habit of not leaving this ten block area very often.”
“I guess I’ll have to help you change that, then,” Stede smiled, not at all sure where he got the confidence in his tone.
“I guess you will,” Ed smiled back.
“This is me.” Stede found his little compact much too soon, suddenly wishing he’d had to park miles and miles away.
“This is you. Oh hey, before you go, shoulda thought to do this earlier…” Ed fished his phone out of his pocket.
“Oh, of course!” Stede pulled out his own phone. They traded phones and numbers, Stede smiling when he saw that Ed had put himself in as ‘That Hot Bartender.’
“Someone’s quite sure of themselves.” Stede teased.
“Course I am,” Ed agreed. “Already got a date lined up with this cute blond I met at work tonight.”
“Sounds like a good day.”
“The best.”
After a short pause, Ed leaned forward and Stede froze. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss Ed, he was fairly sure he did, but he wasn’t expecting it, hadn’t prepared himself for this possibility, for anything beyond flirting.
But Ed simply kissed his cheek, exceedingly gentle and warm and everything, whispering ‘have a good night, Stede Bonnet’ as he pulled back.
“You have a good night, too,” Stede replied, voice slightly hoarse. Ed just grinned a soft, easy grin, ruffled Stede’s hair, and turned to walk away. Stede got in his car and actually turned it on this time, plugging his phone in to charge for the drive home. Ed had already disappeared down a side street.
But when he got back to his place, there were three texts waiting for him.
That Hot Bartender Hope you made it home safe.
That Hot Bartender (Don’t worry, I did.)
That Hot Bartender Also, you’re cute when you blush.