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"I love you!"
The words burst out of your lungs, hanging in the silence between you two. Chest tightening as if it can somehow pull that accursed phrase back in. In against the beating of your heart, into your fists that curl around themselves.
"W- Well, maybe not 'love' that's a bit strong I guess b-but-…!"
Your face is melting. Words fumbleing over themselves as you try to save whatever may be left of this relationship.
Your eyes flick up and-
God, you're pathetic.
Can't even bring yourself to properly look him in the eyes.
His jaw comes into view, tight and tense, nostrils flare and shoulders stiff. You can't read it. Can't decipher if it's disgust, or pity or something else entirely. It takes everything you have to not run, not to cry.
He won't hurt you.
You know that.
Because despite his cold and rough demeanor, you know Shigaraki is kind, he cares.
But his heart is cold and his veins are fueled by fury. There is no place for love in him. Not so long as this world remains standing.
You know that.
That's why you've kept it in. Kept these feelings, these words locked up tight inside your-
It feels as if you'll burst, waiting for his response. It feels like a lifetime, a slow motion disaster being played before your eyes. You can't help but flick your eyes back up to him. Inching higher and higher.
His features soften, bright pretty red eyes widening with realization.
"...Oh."
That's all he says. Lips barely parting before pressing into a thin line. This time he's the one to pull his gaze away.
"I…"
It blooms in your chest, that awful bright feeling.
"I don't feel the same way…"
And dies all the same.
You try to… smile? Remain calm? Collected? This was expected, of course, of course. But your face can't fake that smile. Instead your cheeks pull your mouth into a lopsided snarl. Muscles tense and quivering as you fight back the storm rolling up inside of you.
"T-That's… That's ok-kay…"
You're a fool.
God, you're such a fool.
They get caught in your throat.
Stop it, stop it, stopit! Stop, don't fucking-
God this is embarrassing. Fucking embarrassing.
You knew, you knew and yet-
You nod once. Eyes falling back down to his shoes. You can't bear to face him. The tears well up behind your eyes.
You can't- he can't-
You turn.
Get away.
You need to get away.
Away from this feeling
The fear
The rejection
The sheer utter foolishness of your own stupid, stupid heart-
His hand catches you. Three fingers pinching around the sleeve of your jacket.
You don't turn around.
You can't.
You hate crying in front of others.
"But I would like to try…"
His voice is soft. Softer than air, so soft you swore you're imagining it.
"If you'll let me."
It bubbles out of your throat. That stupid emabressing sound. Half croaking as you can't stop the shock that accompanies it.
Neither of you move.
Don't cry
Don't cry
Dont-!
Shigaraki awkwardly pulls you to his chest. Every movement is mechanical and unsure. So unlike his usual confident and easy-going self. You can't help but feel a bit giddy at that. Eventually he wraps you up in his arms, his head tucking into your shoulder.
"This is how you do it right?" He tries to joke, to lift your mood.
You nod. Warm tears sliding down your cheeks. Slivers of that awkward croaking sound escaping through your teeth.
Stop smiling
Stop smiling
God, this is so embarrassing.
His arms are stiff, but careful as always. You close your eyes. Bask in his warmth, the rhythm of this breath. You feel his heartbeat against your back, its pace just as chaotic as yours.
You feel so lost, so confused, so unsure. But you trust him. You trust Shigaraki with your life, so you'll trust him with your heart too.