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"Look Hank, I found a cricket," Connor said, holding up his index finger.
Hank looked over, lazily. A cricket perched on Connor's finger was chirping loudly. Hank leaned back in his fishing chair. Bringing Connor camping had been both a joy and a trial. The android seemed to find the natural world endlessly fascinating and he was constantly trying to show Hank some bird's nest or pine cone that he'd found.
"That's great, kid," Hank said.
"Would you like to see it?"
"Nah. I've seen a cricket before."
Everything was so new to Connor. He was truly like a kid in that way. There were times when he seemed like a terrifying superhuman. Today wasn't one of those times.
Hank looked out at the lake. The fish weren't biting today, but he didn't mind much. It was getting to be evening and the birds were chirping in the trees. Hank closed his eyes. He was feeling pleasantly tired after a long day outside …
Hank floated hazily in that place between sleeping and waking. He was vaguely aware of a sound near his ear. The sound prompted alarm somewhere in some instinctual corner of Hank's brain. Hissing. That's what it was. Hissing.
"FUCK!"
Hank's eyes flew open to find that Connor was holding a green snake about three inches from his head. Hank pushed himself backwards and his chair promptly fell over.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he exclaimed. "Connor, what the fuck?!"
Hank stood up with effort and dusted himself off. He kept well clear of Connor and the snake which looked none too happy about being held.
"What's wrong?" Connor asked. "It's not poisonous."
"Connor, you don't hold a fucking snake to a guy's head when he's sleeping," Hank said, trying very hard to be patient. "Even if it's not poisonous."
"Humans are afraid of snakes," Connor said, slowly. Hank figured he was using the search function in his head to look shit up. "Even when not poisonous."
"Um, yeah," Hank said. "Especially if it's held up to your fucking face."
"I'll keep that in mind," Connor said. "Snakes aren't dangerous to androids, you know. Even the poisonous type pose no threat."
"You don't say."
Connor walked over to some bushes and released the snake. It was too close to their campsite for Hank's liking, but he was just glad that Connor wasn't walking around with the thing.
"I'm enjoying learning about the natural world, Hank," Connor said.
This kid was going to be the death of Hank.