Work Text:
Rui knew what he was about to do.
Opening the metal door as quietly as possible, Rui walked slowly through the hallway, his feet patting against the floor, echoing, making his heart beat out of his chest, making the voices in his head get louder, making him question this decision - Was this really the best option?
Yes. This is for his own good. Rui thought, as he walked and walked and walked, his feelings and emotions were getting stronger. Rui wanted to scream. But he couldn’t. He had to get the job done. As much as he hated, as much as he didn’t want to do this, as much as he knew he’d go insane after this, he was doing the right thing. He was not going to let Tsukasa suffer anymore through this apocalypse. He was not going to let Tsukasa die a painful and slow death at the hand of zombies. He was not going to let Tsukasa become a zombie. This was out of love. He didn’t want to have to do this to Tsukasa, but it didn’t matter if he was happy with this decision. This was giving Tsukasa mercy.
He couldn’t doubt his decision now. This would help. Tsukasa would understand.
Creeping up to the door, he gently opened it, to see Tsukasa, sound asleep, his features gentle and peaceful. This was the right time. He wouldn’t feel a thing. It was time to do it.
Taking slow steps towards Tsukasa, they braced themself, reminding themself that they shouldn’t feel guilty. They brought the small handgun out of their pocket and slowly put it to the other man's head. I’m sorry Tsukasa. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. This is for your own good, I swear. I’m-
“...Rui…?” Tsukasa murmured, making Rui’s heart stop. Tsukasa soon noticed what was going on, noticing the gun pointed to his head. “...Rui- what are you?! Rui- Rui- please, please…you- why-??? Why?...”
Tsukasa's frantic pleas and words in fear, in surprise that Rui would kill him, that Rui was going to kill him, that he was going to be dead in a few minutes made Ruis ears ring, the feelings of regret and guilt coming back into their head. Though now they’d started this, they had to complete it.
“I’m sorry Tsukasa-kun.” They started. “This is for your own good.”
“...O-own- own….how is this for my own good?!” After the initial fear and terror and suprise came the anger, the burning hot anger and feeling of betrayal that someone who claims to love you would do something like this to you.
“Tsukasa-kun, you know the scenario we’re in. You know that you’re bound to die. I’d rather kill you now like this than let you die a slow and painful death by zombies. Then have to see you turn into a zombie…”
“Rui….I wouldn’t expect you to jump to the worst possible scenario!! We’re in a bunker underground, we’re safe! Besides, you’re working on the antidote, right??”
“Have you not noticed the walls getting weaker?! They know where we are! In a few weeks, or days even, we’re going to get hoarded! What can we do?! And as for the antidote, I don’t have enough info! I can’t get any progress done. And what am I supposed to do, just watch you die or turn?!”
Tears came from Tsukasa's eyes, Rui still holding the gun firmly against his head, not loosening their grip. He had to die. He’d be happier.
“Rui?”
“...I’m sorry Tsukasa-kun. I wish things didn-”
“Cut the bullshit, Rui. You say you love me, then kill me and refuse to even try and let anything work?! I thought better of you Rui!”
“W-wh….” Rui looked at Tsukasa in shock.
“This isn’t really about me in the first place, is it? It’s about you! You’re not killing me ‘because it’s for the best’, it’s because you don’t want to see me getting killed! Isn’t it now? Or do you not want me to drag the zombie virus into our base once I get shot!”
“Tsukasa-kun..-”
“ No! You’re trying to act like my death is completely selfless, that this is ‘for my own good’ and that ‘it’d be better’ when it’s all a load of crap! You’re a liar Rui! Can’t you think rationally and see that we still have a chance?! That you don’t have to kill me?! That killing me is not going to help!”
“Tsukasa-kun.”
“You’re killing me for your OWN wants and needs, for your OWN survival! Where's the Rui I knew who always had a solution, who cared about their friends more than anything in the world! Where's the Rui who’d do anything to make a lost child smile, or to cheer someone up after a bad day?”
“....”
“Because now.” Tsukasa paused, his voice filled with venom. “ You’re selfish, Rui- ”
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”
[ BANG! BANG! BANG! ]
“...Tsukasa-kun?”
And those were Tsukasa’s last words. You’re selfish Rui, You’re selfish Rui-
A large trail of blood had leaked from the side of Tsukasa's head, his body was limp and cold, his pulse gone, his face lifeless. Rui cradled the body of his loved one. See? Quick and painless. He was dead. He didn’t have to suffer any-
You’re selfish, Rui.
-more. He didn’t have to worry about when their base would get found and destroyed and rampaged, he didn’t have to worry that Rui couldn’t figure out an antidote, and that soon they’d run out of food-
You’re selfish, Rui.
-because he was dead, and he’d be a lot happier no-
YOU’RE SELFISH, RUI!
“...I’m….selfish…?”
No, Rui thought to himself, he’s not selfish, he’s not selfish, this was all for Tsukasa after all. So he wouldn’t be in pain or have to suffer or worry about anything. But the more he thought about it….
Tsukasa was right. He really is selfish….he just wanted to keep himself safe. He just wanted to stop the pain he’d feel once he saw Tsukasa being murdered by zombies. The pain he’d feel when Tsukasa became a zombie. The fear that his base would lose its safety if Tsukasa got bitten. The fact there was an extra mouth to feed. He’d killed the only one still there for him, the only person he knew was alive, the only person who loved him. He’d killed the person he loved .
Rui laughed, he laughed a deep bitter laugh as he put down Tsukasa's body beside him, ignoring the wetness of his cheeks as through his laugh he started to cry.
He was a horrible person, who’d killed the only person who loved him. There was only one thing left to do.
He picked up the gun, and brought it to his forehead. How dare he be so selfish. How dare he kill the one person still there for him. He deserved this.
Rui pulled the trigger.