Work Text:
“I mean,” Ranboo began, leaning in conspiratorially. “It’s not like it’d be just like Twilight, right?.”
Techno rolled his eyes, poking at the strawberry cake in front of them. “That’s not what I’m sayin’, it’s just that she’s not very vampire-like.”
Ranboo had been going on for the past fifteen minutes about the barista being a vampire. The idea started about two weeks ago, when she first started working at the time Techno and Ranboo usually ate at. They’d zeroed in on her and were sure that she just had to be a vampire and, if not, then she had to be something supernatural.
“No, her aesthetic definitely fits-”
“We are not basing this off aesthetics.”
“So it’s a ‘we’ operation now?” Ranboo grinned, looking like a cat that had successfully caught a bird. He took another sip from his hot chocolate (“Coffee isn’t my thing, leave me alone- stop laughing!”) and looked at Techno, completely and utterly amused.
Techno rolled their eyes, only to be met with happy giggles.
The barista was wearing all white today, something that didn’t deter Ranboo in the slightest. In fact, it seemed to make him even more rambunctious about the whole thing, a renewed interest in his eyes as he sat down with his food and drink.
“The aesthetic is off,” Techno commented offhandedly, taking the offered half of a cinnamon roll Ranboo had passed to them.
Ranboo shook his head, lips pursed as he tried to subtly look at the barista. If Techno were anyone else, they’d probably assume that Ranboo had a bit of a crush on her. As it was, they found the staring as embarrassing as it was annoying. “She’s trying to throw us off,” he said, matter-of-factly. It sounded ridiculous, no matter how serious Ranboo tried to make himself sound.
“Or, get this, she’s wearing whatever she wants.” Techno watched as Ranboo leaned back in his chair, huffing and rolling his eyes. “Maybe she’s trying out a new look. Are you trying to dictate how she dresses?”
“No!” He lowered his voice, ears flushing red. “No. What if she’s onto us?”
“You have been very obvious.”
Ranboo frowned, scratching absentmindedly at their check. “Have I?
“Yes! You don’t even try to hide your staring.” Techno wanted to sigh, but they held it back just enough to see Ranboo’s face twist into a scowl. He was, surprisingly, really into this whole vampire conspiracy business. It was funny. Just a bit.
The barista was hurrying past, securing a winter jacket around her shoulders as she happened to pass by their table. She didn’t even notice them until Ranboo spoke up, usual fear around people abandoned as he sat on the edge of his seat.
“Ma’am,” he called out, hiding an eager smile as she turned around. “Can I ask you a question?”
The barista looked around, rather suspicious, before nodding. Techno felt sorry for her and, because of that, they hid their face as much as possible. Whatever was about to happen, they would not be associated with it. “Um, yes? Sure.” She shuffled a bit before approaching their table, hovering by it and looking at Ranboo with a guarded expression.
“Are you a vampire?” Ranboo asked.
A second passed in absolute silence and Techno could barely stomach the second-hand embarrassment. Before they could suffer even more, the barista burst into surprised laughter. It was the first time Techno had ever seen her smile anything but a polite retail worker smile and they thought it suited her.
“Am I a what?”
“A vampire."
“What makes you say that?” she asked, moving to take a seat next to Ranboo. He smiled at her, bright and blinding. It was at this point that Techno realized that he might not have been as genuine about his suspicions as he led Techno to believe. The realization had them gaping, an expression that made Ranboo burst into laughter as well.
The barista might not have known what Ranboo was laughing at, but she joined in on his laughter, her head listing forward as she tried to stifle chuckles and giggles.
When he finally managed to catch his breath, shooting Techno a wink that made them try to hide a smile, Ranboo answered the barista’s question. “It’s your whole aesthetic, y’know? A regular Edward Cullen.”
That got the barista to laugh again, though much more restrained than before. She shook her head, amused. “You could’ve at least compared me to Alice.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen the movies.”
The barista stuck her hand out, smiling fondly at Ranboo. “I’m Niki.”
“Ranboo,” he replied, taking her hand and shaking it with a grin. “It’s nice to know the name of a vampire.”
“And it’s nice to know the name of the human.”
Techno felt like they’d just seen something that would change the course of the rest of their life, as if that one handshake altered the entire universe to fit Ranboo and Niki together into Techno’s life. Whatever that may spell for the future, Techno truly believed that it could only mean trouble and then more trouble.
“How are you, Niki?” Techno asked the second they reached the counter, Ranboo standing happily next to them.
“Peckish,” she answered simply, eyes taking on a mischievous glint as she leaned in close to Ranboo and Techno. “I haven’t had any blood in a while. It’s driving me crazy.” She then leaned back, her and Ranboo sharing a smile before she went through the usual customer spiel, taking their orders diligently and promising to sit with them before leaving.
When they had their drinks and food and were finally seated, Ranboo smiled. “I think she's my favorite vampire.”
Techno couldn’t help but smile themself, something that pulled at their lips without any of their consent. “And who would she compete with?”
“You, of course.”
What followed was the most nonsensical argument Techno had ever been in, Ranboo spouting all the reasons Techno just had to be a vampire while they dismissed every single claim. Then when they realized that he placed Niki over themself in terms of favoritism? Oh, that inspired a whole new bout of arguing. Their drinks and food went completely unnoticed as they conversed well into the afternoon.
By the time they were just about done with that whole mess, Niki was walking up to the table with her coat over her arm. “Did I miss something?” she asked, taking a seat that was quickly becoming officially hers. “I heard some raised voices back here.”
Techno sighed. “I’m a vampire too, I guess.”
“Welcome to the club,” Niki said, taking the cookie that Ranboo slid her way. She mumbled a quiet thank you, ignoring Techno’s very obvious annoyance at both of their clear amusement.
“How did you take being a vampire in stride? This is miserable.”
“It makes life more interesting, doesn’t it?” Niki asked, sounding very light about it all. It’d been a few days since she started joining them and she hasn’t at all flinched at any of their more apparent eccentricities. She embraced Ranboo and Techno’s personalities; her own meshed with theirs perfectly, filling in the spot that Techno hadn’t noticed was missing. “Rather be a vampire than a boring human.”
Ranboo groaned, tilting his head back dramatically. “Don’t remind me!”
“It’s fine, we’ll, uh, we’ll convert you.”
“Yes,” Niki agreed, though her eyes sparkled with mischief that Techno had only seen in Ranboo. “But you’ll have to wait until you’re older.”
“Oh, screw you!”
And the rest of the time went by in a blur, spent in good company with good conversation. Niki weaved herself into conversations expertly, stopping silences right before they got too much and saying what seemed to be just the right thing.
The next Halloween brought with it a very excited Niki and Ranboo, always whispering about something as if Techno couldn’t see them. The whispering started a week ago, but the conspiring had started long before that.
The second Ranboo and Niki established a good friendship, they became partners in crime. Niki was, just like Techno, on the same wavelength as Ranboo, but instead of ignoring it like Techno did, she went right with it. Not once has she hesitated on joining the young teen in his shenanigans, telling Techno “We need to encourage his more outgoing wants, it’ll help him communicate.” She merely scoffed when Techno started calling her a psychiatrist.
This Halloween mess, though, was new. Techno was never explicitly excluded from colluding and whispering yet now they were. The days leading up to Halloween were annoying because of it, the knowledge that they didn’t know something pissing them off more than anything else could.
Niki and Ranboo revealed their secret the morning of, urging Techno to sit down in a chair as they disappeared into Niki’s restroom. Techno waited patiently, legs crossed and arms nervously tapping against their thighs. They had faith in their friends, but that faith only extended so far.
After a few minutes too many, Ranboo and Niki emerged. Techno couldn’t hold back their sigh as they saw them. Both of them wore black cloaks lined with red on top of white blouses and dark slacks. Ranboo’s hair was pushed back with gel and Niki’s hair was straightened completely. They both wore make-up: their faces painted white, black eyeshadow, and light lip gloss. Red trailed from the corner of their mouths to their chins.
In Niki’s hand, there was an identical costume.
“Oh no,” Techno muttered when he saw their twin grins, both completely satisfied with their successful ‘surprise.’
(No matter how much Techno would complain about that night, there’s a picture of them in their vampire costumes framed on their desk. It was one of their favorite pictures of the three of them.)