Work Text:
It’s only 10 in the morning
Why has so much happened already?
First my dad literally slapping me this morning leaving a red mark on my cheek, which both teachers I had so far today already asked about it
Then Rui told me Tsukasa tried to kill himself on Saturday
I was at his house Saturday why did I not notice something was off?
He’s thankfully still alive but
God I can’t help but think I’m somewhat to blame here
“Hey Toya, you okay?”
Akito…
“Yeah..”
“What’s with the mark on your face? Did something happen?”
“No I just slept weird”
𝘓𝘪𝘢𝘳..
“Oh okay..”
He sounded skeptical, but he went on his way to class
I didn’t want to go..
I started walking to the roof instead to clear my head
‘See Toya, you’re so stupid! You just lied to your fucking boyfriend. He hates you now he’ll hate you forever. No wonder your dad just kicked you out..’
I didn’t wanna tell anyone..
I don’t want them to worry
┎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┒
I got up early, like normal
But some this was different
The air felt suffocating
Father was standing in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hands
“Toya…”
“Father..”
He put the cup down on the counter and walked over to where I was
We were staring each other down when I felt a sharp pain on my cheek
‘He slapped me? This early?’
“Toya you’re out”
“What…?”
“You heard me, you’re out of the house”
I thought it was getting better
“Huh!?”
“Toya, I’m kicking you out!”
“Where am I supposed to go!?”
“I don’t care, Toya”
“What am I supposed to do about my stuff!? You can’t possibility expect me to bring it all to sch-“
I felt him slap me in the face again
“Toya get out of my house”
“But-“
“Out.. now”
I started running out the door
All I had was my school bag and practice clothes
I have
No where to go
‘What about Ken’s place?… no he already has An to deal with and run a whole store. Akito? No I don’t wanna worry him, he’s already going through a lot…
The Tenma’s!?’
I kept running until I was at school
It’s a bit early for Akito to be here so I just went inside but
Kamishiro?
He hasn’t been here for a while I’m surprised he was here
I’ll ask him if Tsukasa’s here yet
“Hey Kamishiro? Can I ask you something?”
“Oh yes Toya! And by the way you can call me Rui, we’re close enough!”
“Right.. Rui, is Tsukasa here yet?”
His face went blank
He just stared at me
Is something wrong?
“He didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what!?”
Is he okay?
Did something happen to him?
Is Saki okay?
Is she sick again?!
“He tried to kill himself on Saturday”
“What…?”
“I guess he didn’t want to tell you because you get really panicked and over think things and- Toya are you okay?”
“I was.. there Saturday. Why didn’t I notice, I could have helped…”
“Toya hey don’t blame yourself, he’s okay I promise you- Toya.. he.. To.. can… hea.. m.. Toya!”
Everything got blurry and fuzzy
I couldn’t hear what Rui was saying
My head hurt
I blocked and I was in my first class
‘What the hell?…’
┖┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┚
I got up to the roof
The breeze was nice
I put my back against the door to prevent my legs from giving out due to panic
I was used to having to hide these in class but today
It was way too much
I tried walking over to one of the benches but after 2 steps I collapsed
I started crying once my body hit the floor
Everything was so blurry
My head hurt
I couldn’t hear anything
The sound of the wind was gone
All I could hear were my thoughts
‘This is your fault. Tsukasa isn’t happy. You could have helped. Your dad was always right about you, now you have no where to stay because you couldn’t listen. See how absolutely pathetic you are?’
I felt a hand on my back
I turned my head to try and see who it was but I wasn’t able to
I could barely see
I could make out a light pink blob and purple blob
“..oya! Can you hear me? Toya?”
“Toya! Are you okay?”
Rui and Mizuki?
I tried responding but I couldn’t get out a sound
I started crying more because I couldn’t speak
“Hey hey it’s okay you don’t have to respond”
“Here,” Mizuki handed me their phone that had a notepad open, “are you able to type out what’s wrong?”
I nodded and tried to sit up but wasn’t able to
Rui sat down next to me and helped me sit up
I grabbed Mizuki’s phone and they sat down too. My hands were shaking but I managed to start typing
‘ My dad kicked me out this morning and slapped me in the face to make a point. Everyone has been asking about it today and it’s just been stressing me out, and the news about Tsukasa has just been making me spiral. I saw him Saturday I don’t know why I didn’t notice something was wrong I feel so bad for not noticing. I couuld havw hellped I feel sk bsf’
My hands started shaking more towards the end, causing the typing to get messy
I shakily handed Mizuki their phone back and they read it with Rui
Both of their faces switched to something horrified
“You.. don’t have anywhere to go?”
I shook my head
“What about Akito’s place?”
“I-I was.. but I-I d-didn’t wan-nt to worry h-him..”
God I hope my stutter doesn’t come back because of this..
“He’s already worried about you, he texted us that something felt off because he saw you going up to the roof during a class. He wasn’t able to come because he had a test and didn’t want it to look like he was following you”
“Oh…”
“He’s coming up here for lunch, so he’ll be here after this class. We’ll stay with you until then”
Rui started rubbing my back to calm me down
I stopped crying at this point but I was hyperventilating still
———————————-
Mizuki was showing me a video on their phone when Akito came bursting through the door
“Toya! Are you okay?”
He came running over to where we were sitting
“Kind of.. I still feel really bad…”
“It’s okay.. Mizuki texted me what you told them, you’re staying with me, please I promise I won’t be upset of mad if you do”
“Ah… alright, I don’t have any of my clothes though… I wasn’t able to get them..”
“That’s fine, I’llet you borrow some of mine until you wanna get more”
He sat in front of me and hugged me
“You know you can come to me with your problems, I know how hard it is for you and don’t think you’re a burden for needing to let out your emotions”
“I.. I just feel like a big baby right now.. I acted like I was 19 when I was 12 because of my dad.. now I cry like a baby at any minor inconvenience because I’m not able to process it..”
“Toya it’s okay, hey we get over come this together alright?”
I put my arms around him too, but we kinda lot balance and fell to the floor
“Hah… alright”
“Awww little bro and his boyfriend are being cute!”
“Mizuki! Shut up!!”