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It had taken Carlitos weeks of hustling to save up another three hundred caps and he'd returned to the Wrangler, intent on paying for Joana to have a night "off" again-- assuming she still worked there.
Of course she'd remain stuck at the Wrangler for her shift, but she'd be able to spend it however she liked instead of seeing clients.
At least Carlitos hoped that's what would happen; he'd felt so embarrassed last time that he hadn't actually stuck around to find out. For all he knew, she'd just pocketed the money and kept working for extra. Oh well, that was her choice to make right?
This time Joana was nowhere to be found in the lobby. Carlitos wondered for a moment if she'd gotten out of here like she'd wanted to. But no, when he asked Francine Garrett she informed him that Joana was still with a client but would probably be done soon.
So Carlitos waited, getting himself a beer and sitting at a slot machine he was almost too distracted to play. He kept trying to think of something suave to say when he greeted Joana, and kept coming up empty-handed.
A gentle touch on his shoulder startled him so bad he nearly jumped out of his seat. There was soft laughter behind him.
"Sorry sugar, didn't mean to scare you."
It was Joana, and Carlitos's heart skipped a beat as he noticed she was smiling at him-- he'd thought she was beautiful before, but now?
Her smile was more radiant than the sun itself.
"Y-you didn't," he lied, and she laughed again, in a better mood than he'd ever seen her before.
"You're a terrible liar," she said, adding "Francine already told me about you paying me off again tonight. You sure you don't want to stick around this time?"
"I'll stay," Carlitos said, feeling his face get hot even as he nodded.
"What d'you like to do around here in your free time?"
"Sleep," was Joana's honest answer, and now Carlitos noticed that her under-eyes were a bit puffy.
"I wouldn't mind that," he said, as it was already nearing midnight.
She led him by the hand up to her room, and though she was in a good mood it soon became apparent to Carlitos just how exhausted she was as she slowly climbed the stairs.
After locking the door behind them Joana flopped down onto her bed, sighing long and loud.
"Fuck, but it's good to be done working for the night," she groaned. "You keep spoiling me like this and I'm gonna think I deserve two nights off a week."
"You do." Carlitos perched on the edge of the bed, unsure of what to do with himself.
"Sweetie, no one gets two nights off a week in New Vegas. Not you, not your bosses, not the Garretts, not anyone," Joana chuckled, her eyes sparkling with mirth as she looked up at Carlitos.
And it was true of course-- Carlitos was only able to come out here after his own shifts at Gomorrah were over, anywhere between nine and ten-thirty depending on whether the night shift decided to show up on time or not... and they usually didn't.
"You're right, but the girls at Gomorrah get to pick their own hours so long as they make their quotas," Carlitos said, then kicked himself-- what was he doing talking shop with her?
But Joana just laughed, the throaty sound making Carlitos's insides flutter.
"Must be nice. Maybe you ought to put in a good word for me over there," she cooed, crawling up behind Carlitos on the bed and putting her hands on his shoulders.
"Now are you gonna come to bed with me or not?" she asked while massaging Carlitos's shoulders, and he couldn't help the soft noise that escaped him.
"That... feels good," he said with a profound lack of eloquence; it had been a long time since he'd been touched with such tenderness and his brain was short-circuiting a little.
"Mmm, I'll bet it does. You're so tense you could crack a Pinyon nut between your shoulder blades," Joana murmured as she worked out a knot, making Carlitos hiss from the pleasure-pain.
"You know, I could rub you down proper if you want to take this off," she said, plucking at his shirt, and Carlitos inhaled sharply.
It occurred to him-- not for the first time, but for the first time in a while-- that he hadn't had sex or even romantic intimacy with anyone since starting to transition five years ago, and Carlitos panicked.
He was kicking himself for letting it get to this point; his anxiety was going to ruin this. Shouldn't he have tried something by this time? Was he just going to be celibate forever, or what??
"I-I... thought y'were tired?" he asked, trying not to sound as insecure as he felt.
"I am, but are you sure you don't want any attention? I gotta admit, if I don't give you something I'm gonna feel like I owe you," Joana said frankly as Carlitos turned his head to look at her.
"That's why I left before," Carlitos said, doing his best to hold her gaze even at this awkward angle so she could see his sincerity.
"The last thing I want is for you to feel like you owe me. I'm giving you this money of my own free will, to do with what you will."
"But why?" Joana asked, sounding so baffled.
"Why me? Why’d you come back with that Med-X that first night?"
"You were hurt and I wanted to help you," Carlitos said, as if it were that simple.
He shifted, turning his body towards her on the bed and continuing to speak when her expression made it clear that answer wasn't enough.
"I'm sorry if that comes off as me thinkin' I know what's best for you, I don't, but I just-- wanted to give you some of your time back, since whoever hurt you probably made you feel... unsafe working here."
He'd heard about girls at Gomorrah getting the shit beat out of them all the time; too often, it was the Omertas themselves responsible. Anyone who confronted them about it who wasn't a high-ranking blood relative wound up dead. Even members of the extended familia like him had been banned from the Strip for calling it out.
Carlitos figured all the casinos had similar cultures of hushed-up misogynist violence... somehow it was easier to stick up for someone tethered to a different Family than his own. Messed up, but that was reality.
"Hm. It was an NCR soldier, for what it's worth," Joana said after a few tense moments of silence, her gaze dropping to her hands in her lap.
"And a woman too, if you can believe it," she added, quieter. "I feel unsafe working here every single night, Carlitos, and there's nothing you can do to help with that."
"I'm so sorry," Carlitos said, his disgust at the Republic only intensifying.
"That goddamned NCR is a menace to society."
"He says, like he doesn't work for the Omertas," Joana shot back, and despite his wounded ego Carlitos nodded.
"Yeah, you've got a point. Least Gomorrah ain't branding itself to the world as a functional democracy though."
"That's true." Joana sighed as she pulled the covers back on the bed, shucking out of her stockings and heels but leaving her bralette and underwear on.
"Well then, you ready to sleep?" she asked, and Carlitos nodded in relief.
"Definitely."
He also stripped down to his boxers; the light in here was so dim that he doubted Joana would even notice his top surgery scars under each nipple. They'd healed up very well in the past four years and were so pale they were almost invisible in low light.
"Want me to get this?" he asked, referring to the lamp, but Joana shook her head.
"I'd... prefer if you left it on," she said with only a brief hesitation, and Carlitos understood.
"No problem," he murmured as he got into bed with her and laid down.
At first they both lay on their backs staring up at the ceiling, neither one knowing what to say.
"I don't know if I've ever done this before," Joana remarked to break the silence.
"What, slept with a client without--" Carlitos trailed off awkwardly.
"Without fucking them? Yeah," Joana finished, sighing.
"This is a new thing for me... think I could get used to it though."
Carlitos rolled over onto his side to look at her. "Does that mean you'd want me to keep doing this?"
"I still don't know why you even want to, but... yes," Joana admitted, turning her head to meet his gaze.
"That night you paid me off and left, I had the best night's sleep I've had in months."
"That's good to hear," Carlitos said with a small smile, and when he looked up at Joana's face she smiled too.
Her smile was so precious to him that he vowed to do whatever it took to keep making her want to.
"You're so sweet, Carlitos. What's a sweet guy like you doing in New Vegas anyway?" Joana asked.
"Same thing we all are. Just trying to survive."
Carlitos had almost felt candid enough to say that he was staying close by the Medical Clinic because that's where he got his testosterone shots from, but Joana hadn't seemed to notice his chest scars and he hadn't outed himself to anyone in so long. It was a bit terrifying to do that, even years after visibly transitioning.
"Yeah..." Joana hummed as she closed her eyes, still facing Carlitos on the bed. "Me too."
Silence fell between them again, but it was more companionable this time. Carlitos began to drift.
"Wake me up b'fore you go in the morning," Joana murmured, and Carlitos smiled.
"Claro," he sighed sleepily before translating, "Of course. Sleep well, Joana."
"G'night, Carlitos."
Despite being tired, Carlitos found himself wanting to make sure that Joana was resting first. And he didn't mind that she said his name like a gabacha, or that she thought he was a prude or sexually inexperienced because of his hesitation.
As he watched Joana fall asleep, her breaths slowing and evening out as her face relaxed on the pillow, Carlitos knew he was already smitten.
He'd do anything for the privilege of loving this woman. Soon enough he'd be able to tell her this.
But for now he let his eyes droop closed, succumbing to the warm pull of sleep.