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The portal closed with a powerful whooshing sound, and with it, its blinding gold hue and swirling heat, too. As soon as it was shut tight- and gone for good- he turned on his heel to take in his older brother, needing to see for himself that he did it. That he saved him.
It was at that moment when Michelangelo felt...everything.
His mind was a blur, still reeling on the misplaced grief of almost losing someone near and dear to him, immense adrenaline and all-over exhaustion. His body also definitely felt the affects of all that too. His heart was pounding, his head aching and his arms...his arms wouldn't stop trembling and weeping blood, an intense, searing pain making itself known deep in the crevices of his torn apart flesh, making him have to inhale between his clenched teeth slowly to deal with it all without crying. He had never been in so much pain before in his life.
He tried to clench his fingers. His fingers barely twitched in response.
Even still, he was nothing if not selfless, so he swallowed the pain and dizzying confusion the best he could and stumbled on heavy legs towards his frantic brothers. Towards stupid, selfless yet somehow also selfish Leo. Selfish because he almost took himself from them. From him. Selfless because he almost took himself to save the world.
He collapsed by his older Brothers, holding back tears as his eyes trailed over the mauled and wrecked form of his hero- of his near and dear brother. His brother in question just rasped past what seemed to be blood welling up in his horribly bruised throat...and smiled at him. Like nothing was wrong. Like he couldn't have been more proud of him in that very moment.
He starts bawling, wailing like a little kid. But maybe being babied is alright sometimes, because Raphael just sniffles himself and wraps a firm arm around him and Leo, pulling them close to his body as Donatello frantically looks over the three of them, gaze intent and focused on his task.
It was at this moment the pain and grief became too much for him, and he passed out to a concerned looking Donatello waving a hand in front of his face.
The next time he wakes up, it's to the ceiling of the med bay in their home.
It takes him a few moments to collect his thoughts and when he does he slowly blinks and does his best to sit up, using his hands as support. But all he gets for his efforts is an intense pain flaring up in both his arms, making him collapse once more with a pained yelp. There's footsteps quickly heading his way before he opens his eyes- when had they closed?- to see a tight lipped Donatello looking down at him.
Michelangelo gives them an awkward smile and tries to wave. His wince makes his brother's gaze harden for a mere moment before all the sternness falls from their face, leaving something vulnerable and concerned in its wake. He feels guilty at his brothers soft sigh.
Donatello clenches their fists and grits their teeth before lifting their head to look him in the eye.
"You...Draxum came by earlier. He examined your arms...by his words, you are most certainly lucky to have them at all, as you...Angelo, you used immense power, and by doing so you could have- by d-doing so y-you-"
Michelangelo feels their gaze soften as he understands. He remembers the all-encompassing pain, the way he was quite literally disintegrating...he knew what would have happened if his brothers haven't come to his aid.
"I don't regret it. I'd still...if I had to once more for any of you-"
He doesn't know why he said it. He thinks a "I'm so sorry for being reckless, Dee. Like, Leo reckless. I won't ever do such a stupid think again." Would be a much more comforting thing to say. But...it would have been a lie. He doesn't think they need those at the moment.
Donatello just breathes in shakily, biting their lip as they look to the floor with distant eyes. They nod after a moment and holds up a hand, cutting him off.
"...I know. I...I would be a hypocrite to say I would not have done the very same. Just-"
Donatello pauses for a moment before looking at him once more, eyes misty yet set in a more familiar and teasing light.
"Let's not do anything so foolish again, yeah? I don't think my brilliant form could handle another crisis. Especially so soon."
Michelangelo gives them a warm smile and giggles.
"Okay, Dee. I promise."
It's then that Michelangelo realizes it was just the two of them and feels a bout of what he knows is irrational fear...but-
Donatello. Sweet, kind and understanding Donatello just had to give him one more glance before sighing in mock annoyance, already haven caught on to his thoughts. They look towards the door behind them.
"Raph is talking with everyone, and I have already given him a brief check up. He's mostly fine, the real issue was convincing him to actually leave our side but..."
The silence is tense, and Michelangelo starts to get the horrible sense that...
"W...Will he..."
He clenches his fists, pulling the thin white sheet closer to him as his voice wobbles with his emotions.
"Be able to ever...?"
Donatello sighs. It's answer enough.
"...unlikely. He most likely will never be able to see out of his left eye ever again. His shell is also cracked, but I already gave him pain medication for that. That, as well, will never fully heal, but... he'll be alright. For the most part."
Michelangelo closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, mourning for his brother's sight for him before nodding once.
"And Leo?"
"...He'll live. But...well-"
Michelangelo opens his eyes to a whooshing sound, biting back a whimper as his sight catches on the med bed next to him, haven been hidden by the white cloth beforehand. There his older brother lies, most certainly alive but...wrapped nearly head to toe in bandages and hooked up to a heart monitor.
He glances at Donatello to see their reaction but only sees a faraway look in their eyes as they stare down at their twin.
"...Is it...really bad?"
And, smart as they are, Donatello understands.
"He'll recover. Just has a mild concussion, cracked carapace, few cracked ribs, lots of bruises and a broken leg-"
The scientist stops their ramble when they hear a whimper, immediately looking to their youngest brother and feeling guilt and sympathy for him when they noticed the way his eyes unfocused and how he clenched the sheets in a trembling grip.
They clear their throat and release the curtain, not realizing they was still holding onto them...and so tight.
"Anyway, I also took some nerve damage to my shell and will have deep scars, possible seizures and chronic pain. You..."
Michelangelo waits for his verdict, wondering why he felt like he was waiting on his deathbed.
"You have intense nerve damage throughout your arms. You will most likely have those golden scars for the rest of your life and suffer from recurrent aches and tremors for quite some time as your nerves heal. You also used an immense amount of mystic energy, essentially draining your body and leaving you exhausted and weak. You are to be kept on bed rest, as well as Leo, for at least week while you both gather your strength and heal."
He closes his eyes in defeat, and just nods.
He knew he wouldn't be able to pass time by drawing or playing video games or...really using his hands for anything. But as long as he could heal with his brother still safe and sound next to him, he'd gladly give up his arms and the ability to use them forever.
The days pass on slowly, though that is to be expected. Following the first day where he woke up and talked to Donatello, Raphael had rushed in with Splinter not too long after, both practically dripping with concern as they questioned him about every little ache and pain he may be feeling. He did his best to assure them that he was as fine as he was going to be at the moment and had to bite back tears once more as his father took him by the hands and placed his forehead on them, face set in a mix of deep relief and regret, most likely blaming himself for not doing enough. He made sure to accept all of Splint's apologizes and affection throughout the day. After Splinter reluctantly left him to rest, Raphael sat by him on his bed, being so so cautious, as if he'd break if he so as much nudged him. It would have annoyed him any other day, but he can see the hallowed look in his big brother's eyes clear as day...he knew how deeply he cared for all of them and how he felt as if he needed to shoulder all of their burdens. He almost lost two of them in one day- one hour.
He'd let him baby him for a bit. As a treat.
He waits patiently as Donatello walks about the room, checking on their medical supplies and on Leo almost obsessively, most likely needing to keep himself busy so as not to lose his mind. He lets Raphael hold his hand gently and firmly, giving his a squeeze whenever the look in his eyes starts to go too deep. The only sound being the steady beeping of Leo's heart monitor and Donatello's footsteps...until Raphael takes a ragged, deep breath. Michelangelo gives him a concerned look.
"Onii-san-"
"Is it...because of me?"
Donatello stops his pacing instantly. He turns slightly to face the both of him, eyes concerned and lips thinned. Michelangelo feels his breath catch in his throat and squeezes his brother's limp hand. Raphael just sniffs, expression frustrated as he gets lost in thought.
"Leo...you. Both of you, h-hurting yourselves for the s-sake of everyone else...did I..."
Raphael takes a ragged breath in, sounding as if he was about to break at any moment. It crushes both Michelangelo and Donatello. Raphael looks Michelangelo in the eye, expression desperate and full of regret.
"Was it m-me who taught ya that..?"
It's quiet for a tense minute before Donatello sighs deeply and walks over, taking a seat beside their eldest brother and taking his free hand reluctantly.
"Do not blame yourself for our stupidity, Raphael. We know better. It is just that..."
Donatello trails off, gaze slowly turning to Leo.
"...you are not the only one who would give their all to those they care deeply for. Regardless of consequence."
Raphael is crying now, softly. Michelangelo just smiles sadly at him.
"We love you, Onii-san. We also love each other! That's why..."
Raphael lets go of both of their hands and wipes the tears from his face, nodding as he does.
"Y-Yeah...yeah I got ya, big man..."
The quiet is more comfortable this time and the three of them sit there, relishing in the fact that they could.
It's the next day that Leo wakes up. He's disoriented and confused- but awake. He even cracks a lame joke making everyone nearly burst into tears once more. He manages to reassure them that he's fine before passing out once more.
Donatello was right about the possibility of seizures, as they have one the next day, but recovers and reluctantly stays in one of the med bay beds for monitoring due to Raphael and Splinter pushing them to. Michelangelo happily distracts them with retellings of the many Jupiter Jim movies they've watched.
It was today when Draxum and Casey came to visit him.
Casey held back near the door entrance as Draxum approached his beside steadily. The only hint that he was feeling any concern was the slight furrowing of his brows and the thinness of his lips. He gives him a small, welcoming smile and sits up the best he could.
"Hey, Draxy. How is everything? Are the kids okay?"
Draxum tilts his head briefly in confusion before realizing. He sighs softly as he sits beside him.
"Yes...the school was unharmed. Miraculously. I would have come sooner if not for that and..."
He waits patiently. Draxum blushes slightly, ducking his head.
"...I did not wish to intrude. Surprisingly, though, it was your father who practically dragged me by the ear here."
Michelangelo noticed the small huff of laughter his second father let out and briefly wondered how close he and Splinter were at this point. Regardless, he chuckles and lifts a trembling hand to poke him between the eyes, making Draxum cross said-eyes to stare at the scarred hand.
"Well duh, Draxy. Your family. We need you durin this!"
He lets his father take his hand gently, allowing the silence to fill the room as he was carefully examined. He winces when a claw delicately trails over one of his scars, making Draxum pause before gently laying his hand down to the bed with a small sigh.
"...It is a miracle you survived. I hope you know this."
Michelangelo giggles at the petulant tone his father gave, feeling warm inside at the fact this meant he cared for him. Well, one way or another.
"I know...I'm sorry, Okaa-chan. I swear to not be so selfless in the future."
Draxum's ears perk up and his face becomes a bit more red, but he remains quiet, simply giving a nod in reply as he looked elsewhere. After a while his father stands up, flustered still, and leaves to go help the rest of the family with the promise of returning later. Michelangelo wishes him farewell. It's then, while watching his father leave, that he is reminded of Casey who still remains by the door, eyes facing the floor as he remains in a solemn silence.
"..."
"...you wanna come sit by us? I think Leo would appreciate it."
"...Yeah, alright."
Michelangelo gives the boy an encouraging smile as he sits beside him, still avoiding his eyes as he fiddled with his fingers. It's a minute later the boy breathes in deeply and lifts his head to look at him, expression torn yet determined.
"Draxum is right, Mast-...Michelangelo. You could have died."
No one has outright said it till then and the fact makes Michelangelo shudder slightly. He sighs softly and keeps the smile on his face.
"Yeah...I know."
"...You...knew?"
"I died in your future, right?"
Casey's eyes fill with surprise and...something a little darker- more sad. It's answer enough. His voice wobbles when he speaks next.
"Y-You...knew, yet still...w-why didn't you s-stop-"
Michelangelo ignores the burning in his hands and tilts his head, smile soft as he reaches over and grasps one of the boy's hands in his own, scarred ones.
"I still would...that's just who I am."
Beside them, Leo lies awake, tears in his eyes as he clenches his fist in his sheets and does his best to remain quiet.
"Regardless of what timeline I'm in...I don't think that'd change, really."