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“Look, why don’t we just text Beard? I’m sure he would know—”
“No,” you groaned, dropping your head to the sticky table of the pub where you, Keeley, and Rebecca had gathered for emergency drinks. “Texting Beard about it just feels like passing notes in primary. If I’m getting dumped I should just go over there and face it like a grown-up.”
You and Ted had been seeing each other for a little over a month and you were convinced he was about to break up with you. It started with him requesting a rain check on your weekly movie night; no big deal, there were a couple of big matches coming up and it wouldn’t hurt for him to have more strategy time and for you to maybe clean your flat for once (you still didn’t clean, instead you sat around eating popcorn and wondering what Ted was doing). But then his texts were fewer and further between and overall less enthusiastic, which made you feel insane until you showed them to Rebecca and Keeley and they couldn’t help but agree.
“What right NOW,” Rebecca exclaimed, “I feel like you should at least sober up first.”
“What for?” You shrugged sadly, finishing off your cocktail in one big gulp, “At least now I’ll have a head start.” You weren’t drunk, just tipsy enough for subpar decision-making. You stood and put your coat on and Rebecca and Keeley made you promise to text them as soon as you got home and to call if you wanted them to come over. Just as you were about to step away, Keeley tugged you by the elbow so your eyes met hers.
“I guarantee you, Y/N,” her voice was incredibly serious, “this is all just a big misunderstanding. And if it's not, Rebecca will cheer you up with her topless yacht photos.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes and you couldn’t help but chuckle, even in your somber state. You blew them kisses as they got into the backseat of Rebecca’s car and then started on the short walk to Ted’s.
It felt strange walking to get broken up with; your stomach fluttered with the normal I’m-going-to-see-Ted butterflies, mixed with the the-love-of-my-life-is-going-to-dump-me anxiety. Woah, you thought as you stumbled on a cobblestone and caught your balance, I’ve never called Ted the love of my life before. And that thought made you a little weepy so by the time you knocked on Ted’s door you looked absolutely distraught: red-eyed and teary, off-balanced, and shivering slightly from the cold.
Ted opened the door ready for bed, which only made everything worse because that was your absolute favorite version of him. He was soft in every way possible—”#1 Dad” socks you knew Henry had sent him that past father’s day, soft navy and green pajama pants, a worn Kansas city barbecue t-shirt, and (the best part) his product-less hair, air-dried fresh from the shower and flopping over his forehead.
“Hey, Darlin’! To what do I owe…,” Ted trailed off as he took a closer look at you. His face fell into concern almost immediately. “Y/N? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” And it was him still caring about you even though you knew he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with you that caused you to immediately burst into tears.
“Oh Jesus, come here, Y/N,” Ted spoke to you like you were a spooked horse, which at this point wasn’t an incorrect comparison. He opened his arms and you fell into them, trying to stop your tears without much success. Ted didn’t stop holding you, instead walking you back slowly towards the couch, pulling away only slightly to help you sit, and to quickly look you over for injuries. Once he determined you were physically okay, he pulled you into his chest and just rocked, making a soft shushing sound and letting you soak his t-shirt without complaint.
His deep, even breathing calmed you enough for you to pull away and clean your face up a little.
“I’m so sorry, Ted, this wasn’t,” you cleared your throat mid-sentence, your voice thick with shed tears, “this wasn’t what I intended when I just…showed up here.” You crossed your arms in front of you, tucking into yourself, more than a little embarrassed about the mess of this you were making. If he wasn’t going to break up with you before, he certainly was now.
“Well, I can’t say you aren’t worrying me sweetheart but it’s nice to see you regardless,” Ted said softly, reaching a hand out like he was going to touch you but thinking better of it based on the way you were holding yourself. Instead, he reached for a hoodie he’d abandoned on the back of his couch and offered it to you, and you accepted with only the smallest sniffle. “Do you want to talk about what’s got you more upset than a pig in a drought?”
Leave it to Ted to break the tension with one of his entirely made-up sayings. You smiled slightly as you pulled the hoodie on. You took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“Full disclosure, I am not entirely sober.”
Ted smiled. “I gathered that. You smell a little like vanilla vodka.”
“Keeley and Rebecca and I had emergency drinks,” you picked at the drawstring on your borrowed hoodie, avoiding Ted’s curious gaze.
“And they were emergency because…”
“Because I needed to talk about you breaking up with me.”
You could feel Ted freeze next to you but you couldn’t bear to look at him. “I hate to disagree with you, sweetheart, mostly because so far you’ve always been right, but I don’t recall that happening,” Ted said, and you appreciated that he didn’t laugh it off.
“Not yet, no, but I was—am—convinced that it’s coming. I know we haven’t been together long, but it just…I don’t know, seems like you’ve been pulling away.”
Ted took a deep breath and that only made the tears start anew, but much softer this time a quiet trickle instead of a full-blown sob. “Oh darlin’, I’m so sorry. First things, first, no I absolutely do not want to break up with you. Not even a little bit.”
You looked at Ted finally, surprised, and found only remorse on his face. He reached a hand out for you, palm up, making it your choice if you wanted his touch and you took it gratefully, lacing your fingers together.
“I’m not gonna gaslight you or tell you you're crazy that it feels like I’ve been MIA. Truthfully, well, I found out Henry’s gonna come stay with me for a while—maybe indefinitely—and it's really thrown me for a loop. I wasn’t really sure how to talk about it with you and I did the dumb thing which was not talk at all.”
“Oh, Ted, that's fantastic! Did you think I wouldn’t be happy for you? I’d understand spending some time apart for you to get settled with your son.”
“See that’s the thing,” Ted rubbed a hand across his scruffy face and you could tell he looked a little embarrassed, “I didn’t want time apart. I DON’T want time apart, even while Henry’s here. But I didn’t want to scare you off so early in the relationship by bringing my kid into the mix. Obviously, if you don’t ever want to meet Henry that’s a problem, but it just seemed unfair of me to force you into it only a month into this thing. I didn’t…I didn’t want to be too much for you.”
You smiled, pulling Ted’s hand up to your lips and placing a kiss on his knuckles, and then you surprised him by getting up briefly to turn around and straddle his lap so your noses were nearly brushing, cupping his jaw in your hands. “Ted, I would love to meet Henry and spend time with the both of you, no matter how long he’s here. Even if it's forever—especially if it’s forever. You could never, ever be too much for me.”
Ted grinned, his turn to get a little teary, before leaning forward and catching your lips with his own.
You pulled back after a few moments, your hands falling to play with the hem of his shirt. “You know, on the way over here I thought to myself, ‘I can’t believe I’m going to get dumped by the love of my life,’ and yet I came over here anyway and you made it better. Like you always do. I don’t deserve you, Ted.”
The words were out of your mouth before you really realized what you had said, probably the effects of the alcohol and the heightened emotion making it easy to accidentally let it slip that you were in love with your boyfriend of one month. Ted’s eyes went wide and he was slack-jawed for just a moment before he smiled at you, and you tilted your head at him in confusion. “What are you lookin’ at me like that for?”
“I’m the love of your life,” he asked like he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.
“Oh fuck,” you laughed, your eyes going wide too. “That was supposed to be an inside thought. But now that it’s an outside thought…I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with you, Ted Lasso.”
“Y/N, you deserve the entire world. You deserve romance and passion and laughter. You deserve every bit of love I have for you in this ol’ heart of mine, and trust me when I say, it’s a whole lot. I love you, Y/N. I love you so much that I tried to love you less just in case I was loving you too much, too soon,” Ted chuckled. “And I’m so sorry that I made you worry. I’m so sorry I didn’t just talk it through with you.”
Ted leaned in to kiss you again and you couldn’t help but turn up the heat now that you knew the two of you felt the same, licking into his mouth and moaning as your tongues met, his hands snaking their way under your hoodie to hold you firm against him. You pressed your hands into Ted’s chest just slightly, hoping to move things to the bedroom, a smile on your face as he fell back into the couch.
“We can still have breakup sex though, right?”
Ted snorted a laugh and his only answer was to stand up with you still decidedly in his lap and make his way to the bedroom.