Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

> ALPHYS created a Chatroom. [10:35 AM]

> ALPHYS added 10 new contacts to the Chatroom. [10:38 AM]

ALPHYS: hello everyone !! ^__^

StrongFish91: Huh??

StrongFish91: What is this Alphy? A group chat with everyone?

ALPHYS: yep !!

StrongFish91: Gotcha! I was wondering when we’d make one

CoolSkeleton95: HELLO EVERYONE 

CoolSkeleton95: HOW ARE WE ALL DOING 

StrongFish91: Paps you have your caps lock on again

CoolSkeleton95: I KNOW

CoolSkeleton95: I LIKE HAVING IT ON

CoolSkeleton95: IT MAKES ME FEEL COOL 

CoolSkeleton95: AS THE NAME IMPLIES

sans: i agree

sans: you are the coolest one here

StrongFish91: Scuse me

sans: i said what i said

AsgoreDreemurr: Oh! Sorry for not noticing this chat was created sooner, I was in a meeting. Is this a professional chat room, or is it just for friends?

ALPHYS: just for friends !! 

ALPHYS: theres . such thing as professional group chats

ALPHYS: i thought youd just email people

FriskTheHooman: o cool 

CoolSkeleton95: HELLO HUMAN 

CoolSkeleton95: HAVE YOU NOTICED HUMAN IS SPELT INCORRECTLY IN YOUR NAME

CoolSkeleton95: OR IS IT ON PURPOSE

FriskTheHooman: it’s on purpose buddy :) 

CoolSkeleton95: AH. WHY 

FriskTheHooman: because yeah

CoolSkeleton95: MAKES SENSE!

ChocolateLoverChara: EYY GC LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

AsgoreDreemurr: Chara! Language!

ChocolateLoverChara: i hate it here.

FriskTheHooman: nono i agree. lets fucking go

AsgoreDreemurr: Frisk.

FriskTheHooman: :)

sans: u gotta put money in the swear jar now frisk

FriskTheHooman: what about chara??

sans: chara doesn’t live with me so i have no jurisdiction over them

ChocolateLoverChara: >:)

FriskTheHooman: :( 

CoolSkeleton95: SANS WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SHORTEN THINGS INTO ONE LETTER

CoolSkeleton95: JUST TYPE NORMALLY 

sans: yesn’t

CoolSkeleton95: WHAT 

CaretakerToriel: Greetings everyone!

FriskTheHooman: hello goat mother

ALPHYS: GOAT MOTHER HSDHFGFHD

AsgoreDreemurr: What. 

AsgoreDreemurr: What is that?

ALPHYS: the random letters ??

AsgoreDreemurr: Yes.

ALPHYS: its a keysmash !!

AsgoreDreemurr: How do I do it?

ALPHYS: u kinda just.

ALPHYS: type any letters

AsgoreDreemurr: e

ChocolateLoverChara: oh dad…

FriskTheHooman: an attempt was made

ALPHYS: 💀

sans: 💀

Asgore Dreemurr: Why are you posting Skulls???

ChocolateLoverChara: we gotta have a powerpoint night where we educate you on internet terms and culture old man

AsgoreDreemurr: Old man???

CaretakerToriel: She’s not wrong.

AsgoreDreemurr: We are the same age Tori.

CaretakerToriel: Do NOT “Tori” me, Dreemurr. Thought we discussed this.

ALPHYS: was it a good idea to add them both to the same gc 

sans: nah they’ll be civil i told tori to be easy on him

AsgoreDreemurr: :( 

W.DGaster: What. What is this.

sans: its a group chat old man

W.DGaster: I don’t even use Undernet, Alphys made me an account and I haven’t touched it since

sans: come on g. u gotta talk to other people outside of me, paps, alph and asgore

W.DGaster: I do not like socializing sans

sans: too bad so sad

FriskTheHooman: WHAT. NO WAY WTF IS GASTER DOING HERE

W.DGaster: What?

sans: ??

FriskTheHooman: sorry i just like never see u anywhere i legit thought u were a fever dream or smthn

W.DGaster: I tend to have that effect on people, to be fair.

W.DGaster: I’m going to get back to my work now, don’t cause too much chaos well i’m gone, Sans.

CoolSkeleton95: WAIT DAD BEFORE YOU GO

W.DGaster: What?

CoolSkeleton95: WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR DINNER TONIGHT

W.DGaster: Spaghetti, why?

CoolSkeleton95: LETS FUCKING GOOO

AsgoreDreemurr: OH MY GOD.

ChocolateLoverChara: WOAH WHY ARE U SWEARING BUDDY???

CoolSkeleton95: YOU DID EARLIER

ChocolateLoverChara: no i didn’t?

frisk the hooman: they never swore idk what ur talking abt 

CoolSkeleton95: I AM VERY CONFUSED

StrongFish91: SANS I SWEAR TO GOD 

sans: hehehehe

ALPHYS: what??? what happened??

StrongFish91: HE KEEPS STEALING MY DIAMONDS IN THE MINECRAFT SERVER

sans: first of all

sans: ur the one that chose to come mining with me in MY mineshaft

sans: second of all

sans: when its still ore its first come first serve

sans: lazybones

StrongFish91: i am going to kill every single one of your pet fish in ur lake

sans: u wouldnt.

StrongFish91: WANNA TEST THAT THEORY?

sans: you underestimate my power undyne

> sans kicked StrongFish91 from the Chatroom. [10:59 AM]

ALPHYS: WHAT

ALPHYS: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE ADMIN PERMS

AsgoreDreemurr: i give up

sans: never question my abilities alph

sans: if i put some diamonds in ur chest can i keep the admin perms though

ALPHYS: sure

FriskTheHooman: WHAT

FriskTheHooman: THATS NOT FAIR

sans: ratio + l + bozo + you snooze you lose

CaretakerToriel: What does ratio mean?

ChocolateLoverChara: ok. add mum to the powerpoint night as well

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> ALPHYS added StrongFish91 to the Chatroom. [11:02 AM]

StrongFish91: NGYAAAAAAAAAAAH

ALPHYS: ok sans. dont kick her anymore please

sans: what if i said pretty please

ALPHYS: STOP KICKING MY GF CHALLENGE !! (brutally failed)

StrongFish91: Sans are you homophobic or something

sans: i am literally bisexual undyne

StrongFish91: he’s dodging the question…

ALPHYS: yea. all bi-yo self

StrongFish91: LMAO

sans: i hate this fucking family

CaretakerToriel: That’s a dollar in the swear jar!

sans: god damn it

FriskTheHooman: WOAH HE’S BISEXUAL I DIDN’T KNOW THAT 

GODOFHYPERDEATH: Is that a sonic fandub reference???

ChocolateLoverChara: FINALLY AZZY WHERE WERE YOU

GODOFHYPERDEATH: I was in the middle of an overwatch match leave me alone

ChocolateLoverChara: ew. an overwatch kid :/

GODOFHYPERDEATH: What u got against overwatch ???

FriskTheHooman: YOU SHOULDVE PICKED MERCYYYYYYYY

sans: for the love of god do not get that stupid song stuck in my head again kid

FriskTheHooman: i have so much power in my hands right now.

CaretakerToriel: I agree with Sans, I kept singing the chorus well I was making dinner last night because of you. ]:(

sans: vouch

FriskTheHooman: i came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

CoolSkeleton95: Sans.

ALPHYS: what the hell he’s not typing in caps

CaretakerToriel: Must be serious.

StrongFish91: sans what did you do

sans: im scared

CoolSkeleton95: Please pick up your socks I thought you left that habit in the underground

sans: but i cant be bothered man

sans: im bone tired

CoolSkeleton95: I GIVE UP

ALPHYS: NOW hes back to normal lmao

sans: tibia honest i just keep forgetting to pick them up

CaretakerToriel: You could say you acted like quite a numskull.

sans: nah more of a bonehead

StrongFish91: You both are INSUFFERABLE

ALPHYS: when do you reckon they’ll figure it out

StrongFish91: I’m willing to bet money that they never will.

sans: what are yall talking about

FriskTheHooman: jesus christ. 

ChocolateLoverChara: HELP. THERE AINT NO WAY… 

CaretakerToriel: I am quite confused.

ALPHYS: STAY THAT WAY

AsgoreDreemurr: I cannot believe this.

StrongFish91: I’m sorry Asgore :( 

AsgoreDreemurr: What? No, I’m not talking about that. Just exhausted. Human politicians are so exhausting.

AsgoreDreemurr: Whatever they have going on is none of my business.

StrongFish91: Oh, yeesh, I've heard the meetings haven’t been going well???

AsgoreDreemurr: Not at all. They’re just being difficult about all the harassment that’s happening, saying it’s warranted after not being exposed to Monsters for so long.

AsgoreDreemurr: They’ve also been difficult with Monster run businesses, thinking they won’t get enough customers so it isn’t worth the investment. It’s why Grillby and Miss Muffet are having such a hard time getting permits.

sans: yeesh grillbs told me about that it sucks

FriskTheHooman: have they even bothered to speak to grillby or muffet directly?

AsgoreDreemurr: Not that i’m aware of, no.

StrongFish91: I don’t know what we expected, not every human is going to be as easy to talk to as Frisk and Chara are.

FriskTheHooman: yeah its really upsetting. a lot of people are fine with the change, yes, but a lot aren't as well, especially politicians. monsters being back removes the large amount of power they had, because monster politics are in the system now as well

ALPHYS: woah ur like 12 how do you know so much abt this

FriskTheHooman: i like politics. also im the ambassador, so i have to try and know these things. even tho its difficult

sans: ur doing more than i was when i was younger lmao

sans: all i did was lie around and eat chips and sleep

ALPHYS: u were living the dream wdym

sans: yeah now that u say it. it was awesomr actually

W.DGaster: It was not awesome for me. You were a nightmare when you were younger

StrongFish91: PLEASE GIVE US EMBARRASSING STORIES ABOUT SANS

sans: please dont gaster

W.DGaster: Sans used to try and eat sand. He wasn’t even really young or anything he just used to try it

sans: why

StrongFish91: WHAT?

W.DGaster: He thought it was sugar.

ALPHYS: wouldnt it just fall right through you. how tf does skeleton anatomy work

AsgoreDreemurr: Don’t get him started.

W.DGaster: Anything we eat is actually magically transformed into energy that our SOULS can use to keep us energized and provide important nutrients to us. Sand obviously has no nutrients, or well, anything important in it at all, so it disappears.

AsgoreDreemurr: You got him started.

W.DGaster: Come on Gorey you liked listening to me talk about it earlier.

sans: g

sans: gorey

W.DGaster: Yes. Ever since I found out his parents and Toriel used to call him Gorey I have been tormenting him with it ever since.

AsgoreDreemurr: Please stop.

W.DGaster: Make me.

ALPHYS: WHAT. IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

StrongFish91: Sans are you seeing what i’m seeing here

sans: please shut up never speak again

StrongFish91: Actual lesbiphobia

sans: i will actually steal all your diamonds this time

StrongFish91: Jokes on you Alphys gave me mod perms on the server so I can just spawn them back in.

sans: this isnt fair you have girlfriend privileges 

StrongFish91: Yeah. And

sans: this should be a crime

ALPHYS: yea. be gay do crime

W.DGaster: I agree with this notion.

ALPHYS: you’re so real gaster

W.DGaster: Of course I'm real. How would I be here if I'm not?

FriskTheHooman: thats real funny coming from u lmao

W.DGaster: What?

FriskTheHooman: dont worry bout it

ChocolateLoverChara: FRISK. LMAO

W.DGaster: Is there a joke i’m not getti

W.DGaster: Oh Nevermind. I get it now.

sans: what was it like in the void btw just curious

W.DGaster: Boring. Consistently felt like my soul was being ripped in two, so it was also excruciatingly painful.

W.DGaster: I was in there for quite awhile, but well I was in there, it felt like centuries had passed.

sans: damn that sucks

CoolSkeleton95: YOU COULD AT LEAST BE MORE EMPATHETIC BROTHER

sans: i am i said it sucks

sans: i am not good with emotional stuff u knew this by now

AsgoreDreemurr: That sounds awful. I wish I knew you were gone. I wish I just remembered you entirely. We all would’ve done everything to get you out of there.

W.DGaster: It isn’t your fault, it isn’t anyone’s fault. I thought falling into the Core would just kill me properly, I never knew it’d have an effect like that. It exceeded my calculations.

ChocolateLoverChara: There is only one positive that came out of you being in the void

ChocolateLoverChara: You met me :D 

W.DGaster: I guess so. Though babysitting my boss's kid for all eternity wasn’t on my to-do list for visiting the void.

ChocolateLoverChara: it was good we met anyways because sans trying to get you out of there is what got me out of there

W.DGaster: Is that the only reason why you liked meeting me?

ChocolateLoverChara: kind of yeah sorry old man. ur nice tho :) 

sans: wowwww harsh

ChocolateLoverChara: mum tells me to be honest!

CaretakerToriel: Sometimes there are times when you should lie, my child.

W.DGaster: It’s fine, I don’t mind lmao.

sans: what the hell

sans: g using internet slang

sans: this is revolutionary

W.DGaster: Am I really that old, Sans?

sans: arent u like . 50. or something. how old are you

W.DGaster: I am definitely not 50 Sans, I was a grown adult when we were still on the surface the first time.

sans: thats not what i meant i mean like mentally 50

W.DGaster: That’s a fair assumption I guess.

ALPHYS: this is literally the most i’ve ever seen gaster talk lol

W.DGaster: I’m not very social in person, it’s easier to type.

ALPHYS: OH HES JUST LIKE ME FRFR

FriskTheHooman: hold on a second. wait

CaretakerToriel: What is it, my child?

FriskTheHooman: if chara died, and my determination brought them back to some degree, and they were able to exist both in the void and somewhat here as well?? does that mean ur still a ghost bc ur still technically dead

ChocolateLoverChara: OMG 

ChocolateLoverChara: i need to tell napstablook we are ghost buddies

GODOFHYPERDEATH: YES WE CAN ALL BE GHOST BUDDIES

FriskTheHooman: no fair i wanna be ghost buddies with napstablook :( 

ChocolateLoverChara: L bozo just try dying next time

CaretakerToriel: Please don’t.

FriskTheHooman: no promises 

Chapter Text

ChocolateLoverChara: guys i need advice

StrongFish91: What’s up?

ChocolateLoverChara: ok so hypothetically

ChocolateLoverChara: what would i do if i put a bowl in the microwave to heat up smthn

ChocolateLoverChara: and maybe accidentally left my fork in the bowl and now it’s sparking and short circuiting 

ALPHYS: WHAT????? DID YOU DO???

ChocolateLoverChara: I SAID HYPOTHETICALLY it wasnt me who did it guys trust me on this

sans: your not the most trustworthy chara cter to be fair 

ChocolateLoverChara: first of all; *you’re 

ChocolateLoverChara: second; shut the hell up you stupid bag of bones

sans: ouch :( 

AsgoreDreemurr: WHAT

AsgoreDreemurr: I LEFT YOU AND ASRIEL ALONE AT HOME FOR ONE DAY. JUST ONE.

ChocolateLoverChara: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WHY WONT YALL BELIEVE MEE

ChocolateLoverChara: wait. do i smell smoke

ChocolateLoverChara: um brb

AsgoreDreemurr: I am coming home right now.

GODOFHYPERDEATH: NOT NECESSARY DAD WE HAVE THIS UNDER CONTROL

GODOFHYPERDEATH: IN A COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL WAY!!

AsgoreDreemurr: I can’t have anything in this house.

sans: do you mean

sans: you cant have shit in this house

AsgoreDreemurr: I’d rather not swear thank you very much.

CaretakerToriel: That’s another dollar in the swear jar, bonehead!

sans: COME ON TORI

CaretakerToriel: ];) 

sans: you are insufferable 

ALPHYS: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sans: alphys 

ALPHYS: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sans: please stop

FriskTheHooman: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sans: not you too i trusted you

ALPHYS: I MEAN COME ON DUDE ITS SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUSSS

sans: what are you talking about im so confused

ALPHYS: jesus christ you have such a thick skull

sans: i know that pun wasnt intended

sans: but im proud

ALPHYS: :) 

StrongFish91: NGYAHH Please don’t encourage them!!! Alphys and Mettaton have been making puns all day!!!

sans: good

StrongFish91: :( 

ChocolateLoverChara: UPDATE THE MICROWAVE IS HYPOTHETICALLY ON FIRE

sans: you dont have to use hypothetically we know its you that did it

ChocolateLoverChara: I DIDNT I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE LIT MY SLEEVE ON FIRE FOR A COMPLETELY UNRELATED REASON

ChocolateLoverChara: FHDSDUF6&^%^&8765^&*(&678ITYOPHGF;’SY^&^%$%^&*&ytrFDDV

sans: what

ALPHYS: idk if thats a keysmash or if smthn happened

AsgoreDreemurr: THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE

ALPHYS: THEN GO PUT IT OUT SOMEHOW?? CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT ?? DONT TEXT THE GC 😭

GODOFHYPERDEATH: id like to say for future reference that this was charas fault not mine

ChocolateLoverChara: shut up before i kill u absorb ur soul and pull a death part 2 electric boogaloo

W.DGaster: I leave my phone unattended for half an hour only to find out half of my house has burnt down. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

AsgoreDreemurr: Blame the kids. They are both grounded for a month. I was able to put out the fire but repairs will have to be made.

ChocolateLoverChara: this is what happens when u try to heat up ur mac and cheese :( 

sans: just dont heat it up then l + bozo

ChocolateLoverChara: i will literally hunt you down for sport don’t test me rn!

sans: are you sure you can do that when youre stuck being grounded 

FriskTheHooman: LMAOOOOOOOO

ChocolateLoverChara: count ur fucking days bonehead.

AsgoreDreemurr: Thats an extra day for swearing.

ChocolateLoverChara: DAMN IT

sans: ooh so sad 

W.DGaster: Chara is staring at their phone with murderous intent Sans.

sans: good glad to know i have that effect on people 

CaretakerToriel: You don’t have that effect on everyone.

sans: idk bout that tori

CaretakerToriel: You don’t! I believe you’re kind, funny, charismatic and you have a very positive effect on everyone around you. You light up a room as soon as you enter it.

sans: i was joking but 

sans: thank you i think

ALPHYS: HOLY SHIT ??

StrongFish91: I’m going to lose my fucking mind.

ALPHYS: can i back out of our bet undyne ur just gonna win at this rate

StrongFish91: NO BACKING OUT BE A GOOD LOSER!!!

sans: wtf are u guys talking about

ALPHYS: nothing my sweet summer child

FriskTheHooman: LMAOOSDFHH

CoolSkeleton95: YOU ARE SO PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS THAT IT’S MORE ANNOYING THAN YOUR PUNS!!!

sans: oblivious about what

CoolSkeleton95: ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FORUE76%^&*&^%^784UY4REH

sans: what

StrongFish91: HAAAHAAAAA NOTHING SANS YOU POOR LITTLE BONEGUY FELLA WHY DONT YOU JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING THAT HAS JUST HAPPENED OKAY

sans: boneguy fella

sans: new gender just dropped guys

Chapter Text

ALPHYS: happy valentines day everyone !! ^--^

FriskTheHooman: i legit forgot valentines day was a thing im ngl

FriskTheHooman: i am a lil baby child i don’t have any use for valentines shrug

StrongFish91: I woke up Alphys with breakfast in bed <3 !!!

ALPHYS: i gotta admit i was surprised by how much of a romantic u are :) <3

StrongFish91: Was it because of the way I look???

ALPHYS: NONONO

ALPHYS: well … maybe, u were so intimidating before i got to know you, you’ve helped bring me out of my shell though :) 

StrongFish91: i am going to SHOWER you in kisses cmere !!!

sans: gross

ALPHYS: homophobic sans strikes again !!

sans: i am a raving bisexual alphys i like men 

CaretakerToriel: Bi rights!

sans: thanks tori

sans: if no one got me i know tori got me 

W.DGaster: I received flowers addressed to me on the doorstep, but I don’t know who they were from.

CoolSkeleton95: DAD HAS A SECRET ADMIRER!!

W . DGaster: Oh, please. Someone must’ve gotten the wrong address. And wrote the wrong name.

AsgoreDreemurr: For a scientist, you’re acting very foolish. Someone got those flowers for you specifically.

ChocolateLoverChara: i think i know whooooooo ;)

ChocolateLoverChara: i won’t say who it is tho if they left it unnamed dont wanna embarrass anyone 

CaretakerToriel: That is very considerate, my child. 

sans: do not praise them for keeping one secret i told them i was scared of freddy fazfuck or whatever he was called and they made it everyone elses business

sans: wait shit

CaretakerToriel: Two dollars in the swear jar! ];) 

sans: i am going to leave this chat and yall will never see me again

ChocolateLoverChara: i see nothing but positives from that

sans: i will dropkick you

AsgoreDreemurr: 👁️ 👁️

sans: oh jesus

ALPHYS: never use emojis again

AsgoreDreemurr: :( 

CoolSkeleton95: GUYS I NEED ADIVCE!!!

StrongFish91: What’s up buddy??

CoolSkeleton95: PLEASE DO NOT BE MEAN OR MOCK ME I AM NEW TO THIS AND THIS VALENTINES DAY THING IVE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE

FriskTheHooman: we wont be mean whats up? :D 

CoolSkeleton95: OKAY

CoolSkeleton95: ME AND METTATON HAVE BEEN HANGING OUT A LOT OUTSIDE OF HIS CONCERTS RECENTLY AND I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO ASK HIM OUT ON A DATE BUT IM SCARED BECAUSE HE IS SUCH A BIG STAR AND DOESNT HAVE LOTS OF FREE TIME

CoolSkeleton95: I DO NOT KNOW IF HE SEES ME THE WAY I SEE HIM 

ALPHYS: THIS IS SO CUTE WHAT

ALPHYS: also i know for sure he feels the same way trust me on this papyrus

StrongFish91: YEAH lmao he was going THROUGH it last valentines!!

ALPHYS: he wouldnt shut up abt you last valentines he was going through the same thing he ended up giving you chocolates but said it was as a friend gift or something right???

CoolSkeleton95: HE DID. DID HE REALLY WANT TO ASK ME OUT ON A DATE????

CoolSkeleton95: OH MY GOSH

CoolSkeleton95: I WILL GO BUY FLOWERS AND 

CoolSkeleton95: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WILL SAY YET BUT I WILL FIGURE IT OUT

sans: you got this bro i believe in you

CaretakerToriel: We’re all rooting for you!!

ChocolateLoverChara: oh the people on undernet are gonna go crazy over this

GODOFHYPERDEATH: LOL! someone on undernet runs a papyrus and mettaton ship account

ChocolateLoverChara: im like 99.9% sure the person that runs that account is alphys

ALPHYS: 😭 

ALPHYS: I DO NOT,,, SHUT UP

StrongFish91: Don’t you??

ALPHYS: DONT BETRAY ME LIKE THIS ON VALENTINES UNDYNE !!

sans: ur so chronically online it hurts

ALPHYS: shut up sans you bully people on twitter over that squid shooter game thing 

sans: its called splatoon thank you very much

sans: and i must bully the kids for picking the wrong splatfest teams its my moral code

GODOFHYPERDEATH: sans we slayed at that splatfest btw im so upset we lost

sans: i have lost nearly every splatfest you could never understand how tired i am

ChocolateLoverChara: have u considered its because ur bad at the game

sans: i will

sans: im not gonna finish that sentence actually ur parents are watching my every move

AsgoreDreemurr: Wise choice bone man

ALPHYS: bone man is my new nickname for you from now on

sans: all i do in this chat is get attacked

CaretakerToriel: I never attack you.  ]:) 

sans: yeah but thats because ur the nicest person to ever exist 

ALPHYS: HJKLKJHGFDGHJKL:LKJHGFGHJKL:LKJHGCFDXFGHYJUKILO:P”{
ertyuj

sans: u okay

ALPHYS: YES I AM COMPLETELY FINE

sans: okay

ALPHYS: okay

FriskTheHooman: okay

ChocolateLoverChara: we are not starting this.

FriskTheHooman: party pooper

ChocolateLoverChara: teehee

W.DGaster: … I think I know who got these flowers for me.

ChocolateLoverChara: WHAT YOU DO?

W.DGaster: Call it a mild hunch, but I've only told one person what my favourite flowers are, from what I can remember.

ChocolateLoverChara: …. OH LMAO

FriskTheHooman: i’m loving this so much wheres the popcorn this is like a romcom movie

ALPHYS: i have some rn come over!!

FriskTheHooman: mum can i go

CaretakerToriel: Of course, my child.

FriskTheHooman: omw

W.DGaster: I am probably overthinking it, but i’ll keep it in the back of my head.

ChocolateLoverChara: a certain member of this chat has gone real quiet rn [ MESSAGE DELETED ]

ChocolateLoverChara: actually ima stay quiet for my own safety LMAO

GODOFHYPERDEATH: Chara u have GOT to tell me who u think it was

GODOFHYPERDEATH: Please

ChocolateLoverChara: i will consider it

ALPHYS: off topic but watching the notebook again was a mistake im already crying just thinking about the ending we’re 10 minutes in

StrongFish91: This was YOUR idea Alphy!!

ALPHYS: yes and it was a bad one!! 

FriskTheHooman: why are yall texting the chat you are both on the same couch sitting next to each other 

ALPHYS: now you are too

FriskTheHooman: oopsies

GODOFHYPERDEATH: I wish that was me I hate being alone on valentines

ChocolateLoverChara: l bozo just dont be alone next time

GODOFHYPERDEATH: Ur alone too !!

ChocolateLoverChara: that’s where ur wrong. i have my deluxe size chocolate bar with me <33

sans: god i wish that was me

sans: chocolate sound so good rn. 

CaretakerToriel: You were the one that ate all the chocolate kisses Sans! You do not need more chocolate! Too much sweet food can make you feel sick, even as a skeleton.

sans: yea ur right actually

sans: who needs any sweet food to keep me company

sans: when i have you here [ MESSAGE DELETED ]

sans: when i can sleep all day

ALPHYS: I SAW THAT

sans: UR SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THE NOTEBOOK

ALPHYS: i am always watching sans.

sans: fuck

FriskTheHooman: SWEAR JAR BOZO !!!

Chapter Text

ALPHYS: yknow ive been thinking !!

sans: thats dangerous

ALPHYS: shuddup you.

ALPHYS: ANYWAYS ive been thinking … like . ok . yk how theres the whole when ur surprised or whatever u say “jesus christ”

sans: ? yes

ALPHYS: who. who is that

ALPHYS: who is jesus christ

FriskTheHooman: oh my god am i rlly abt to introduce you to christianity

FriskTheHooman: i never actually thought abt how human religions may not carry over into monster kind, especially for monsters who were born underground 

ChocolateLoverChara: jesus christ was some carpenter guy who got nailed to a cross and they made an entire religion about it its kind of crazy actually

FriskTheHooman: that a huge oversimplification

FriskTheHooman: but yea i guess that works

ALPHYS: thats it? huh kinda funny that he causes such a fuss on the surface

ChocolateLoverChara: humans have the tendency to use words written hundreds of years ago to justify modern hatred

ChocolateLoverChara: thats why me and frisk dont go around telling people we don’t know that we’re non binary. we know sometimes we might say that to the wrong person :/

FriskTheHooman: … yeaaah :(

ALPHYS: yikes :( tbh religion in the underground isnt that deep either actually it was mostly just how people interpreted the deltarune or whatever, i wouldnt call it religious at all, though there were LOTS of interpretations

ALPHYS: there were even some deltarune fanatics who were convinced that judgement day was upon us or whatever and that the angel that was supposed to free us would be like … an angel of death or whatever LOLLL 

ALPHYS: how funny is that

sans: hm.

sans: very funny

sans: hilarious actually

FriskTheHooman: sans–

sans: what its a funny joke. laugh a bit kid

sans: oh relax buddy im just messing with you i know it wasn’t actually you who did all that

sans: OR chara

ALPHYS: what the hell are you guys yapping about

sans: nothing

FriskTheHooman: nothing important

ALPHYS: … okayy???

AsgoreDreemurr: Speaking of humans. Today’s meeting was rough once again.

CaretakerToriel: Are they still not cooperating with you and the monster council?

AsgoreDreemurr: Not exactly, we did make some progress, but they were not happy about it.

AsgoreDreemurr: Grillby and Miss Muffet should have their business permits from the bank soon enough, though.

sans: oh hell yeah

sans: cant wait for grillbys the sequel

sans: need to find a new song to loop on the jukebox so it breaks again. isnt a grillbys without a broken jukebox

COOLSKELETON95: YOU ARE A MENACE TO THE HUMAN SOCIETY

sans: i hope u know i wear that title like a badge of honor bro

COOLSKELETON95: I SHOULDVE KNOWN

ALPHYS: PAPYRUS NOW THAT UR HERE !!! U NEVER UPDATED US ON U GIVING FLOWERS TO METTATON !!!!!!!!

COOLSKELETON95: AH YES

COOLSKELETON95: IT WENT WELL

COOLSKELETON95: HE KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK AND CALLED ME HIS FAVOURITE SKELETON

COOLSKELETON95: IT MADE ME FEEL ALL LIGHT IN THE SKULL

ALPHYS: SGDHSJKDFGHDHSJAK AWWHHHH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU !!!!!!!!

STRONGFISH91: HELL YEAH A WIN FOR THE GAY PEOPLE ONCE AGAIN !!! NGYAAAH !!!!

sans: good for u bro

sans: if he does anything to hurt you ill make him wish he never got a physical body 

ALPHYS: JESUS CHRIST

FriskTheHooman: I love when a conversation goes full circle

sans: I dunno. dont trust that guy much. srry alph

sans: im not sure how much of his persona is just for the fame or what the guys actually like

ALPHYS: to be honest. i dont know either sometimes. but he is really sweet behind the scenes i know he’ll be a good match for pap

sans: alright

sans: im trusting u on this 

sans: bc for some reason ur ships always work

ALPHYS: I DIDNT SHIP THEM

STRONGFISH91: Alphy you ran a ship page for them!!!

ALPHYS: FAKE NEWS 

sans: at least the ship wasn’t shipwrecked 

ChocolateLoverChara: christ

ALPHYS: im not giving u the laughter u want 

AsgoreDreemurr: How is he supposed to know that you’re not lying?

sans: we’re in the lab with g right now and she’s death glaring me 

AsgoreDreemurr: Oh. Okay. Adds up.

StrongFish91: OHYEAH Sans, i’ve been meaning to ask

sans: shoot

StrongFish91: Papyrus calls Dr Gaster dad, why don’t you

sans: uh

StrongFish91: Sorry if it’s a personal question!! Was just curious I guess. Picked up on it

sans: no not personal in the slightest dont worry bout it

sans: it’s a bit hard to explain

. . . 

ALPHYS: he’s been typing for like 5 minutes what is happening

StrongFish91: I did NOT THINK this would earn such a long response HAHA

ChocolateLoverChara: its gonna be filled with poor grammer i know it

ALPHYS: grammar

ChocolateLoverChara: DAMN IT

sans: gaster aint actually our dad, not really at least also i feel weird calling the guy dad when were very close in age since he didnt age well he was in the void, and also because i dont see him as a father, but he did raise us i guess. we grew up in a group home but helped gaster in the lab a lot as a job of sorts so he kind of just took us in?? not rlly was official or anything though, heh. then he fell in the core and we forgot abt him and everyone we met through him, which was fun, but that all doesnt matter anymore

sans: uhhh long story short i dont call him dad because the age difference isnt that big so it feels weird and also because hes more like a mentor to me than a dad, its different with paps because hes younger than me, but even when i was working with gaster i was like 18. or 19. i dont know man that entire era is fuzzy and mixed in my head for obvious reasons. and tibia honest i rlly dont keep track of my age

StrongFish91: Woah. I can’t believe how little I know about you actually when I already knew WHOLE lot

ALPHYS: i aint reading all that 

ALPHYS: ok /j seriously i did NOT know all that what the hell you are such a strange little man

sans: thanks. i think

W.DGaster: You were such a nuisance in the lab when you worked for me back then. I cannot believe I paid you for slacking off as much as you did

sans: you snooze you lose fossil

W.DGaster: Fossil. That’s a new one. Creative.

CaretakerToriel: Sometimes I forget how excited Gaster was when he started working as a scientist. He was so career driven and so optimistic for us to make the Underground an amazing place. I know you weren’t here to see it, but the Core really did help us so much, Doctor. 

W.DGaster: I’m… glad to hear that. I really am. 

ALPHYS: Core helped us feel nice and toasty :)) 

STRONGFISH91: Still don’t know how you preferred the heat over Snowdin or Waterfall. Hotland SUUUCKED 

ALPHYS: You’re a damn fish of course you’d hate the heat (Meant affectionately)

ChocolateLoverChara: The little elaboration is so funny

ALPHYS: Gotta make sure she knows I don’t mean it in a harsh way (I’d rather die than insult her in any way)

ChocolateLoverChara: DOWN BAADDDD

FriskTheHooman: DOWN CRIMINALLY HORRENDOUS 

sans: simp 

ALPHYS: shut the fuck up sans thats rich coming from you 

AsgoreDreemurr: I’m not even going to try to censor you guys anymore.

FriskTheHooman: DOES THAT MEAN WE CAN SWEAR

AsgoreDreemurr: As far as i’m concerned, you have a swear jar to worry about.

FriskTheHooman: THE SWEAR JAR SUUUCKSSS WHY CANT I COME LIVE WITH YOU GUYS

ChocolateLoverChara: Dad and G don’t let me or Azzy swear over here either Frisk

FriskTheHooman: :( 

CaretakerToriel: Do you not like living with Sans and myself, my child?

FriskTheHooman: NO NO NO NO I DO

FriskTheHooman: I DO !!! I DO !!!!!!1

sans: i cant believe youd do this to your mother 

sans: and also myself

sans: but i dont care actually

CaretakerToriel: You really must get better at discipline, bonehead. 

sans: well theyre not my kid, they just live with me 

ALPHYS: ehhh thatll change eventually

sans: whats that supposed to mean

CaretakerToriel: ?

ALPHYS: nothing. it means nothing. LMAOOO

StrongFish91: 👁️ 👁️

FriskTheHooman: that emoji combo is terrifying never do that again

StrongFish91: 👁️ 👄 👁️

FriskTheHooman: im goingto frow up you know what you're doing

StrongFish91: What am I doing?? 👁️ 👁️

FriskTheHooman: mum come pick me up i'm scared

CaretakerToriel: I'm getting groceries my child. Ask Sans.

sans: what makes you think id help

sans: 👁️👄👁️

CaretakerToriel: Well I truely don't know what I expected.

FriskTheHooman: This rlly is a not safe for work environment this is child endangerment

CaretakerChara: simply just get good 

FriskTheHooman: broccoli. tomatoes. celery. capsicum. peas. 

ALPHYS: wh. what are you doing

FriskTheHooman: scaring them. chara doesn't like fruit or veggies

ALPHYS: with text???

GODOFHYPERDEATH: its working LOL

ChocolateLoverChara: LEAVE ME ALONE AZZY STOP EXPOSING ME

COOLSKELETON95: GUYS I HAVE GOOD NEWS

ChocolateLoverChara: YES PLEASE CHANGE THE SUBJECT WHAT IS THE AMAZING NEWS PAPYRUS

COOLSKELETON95: WELL

> COOLSKELETON95 added TheSexyRobot to the chatroom. [4:29 PM]

TheSexyRobot: OHHHHHHHH YESSS DARLINGS.

sans: sweet jesus