Chapter Text
Her lips pulled into a small frown as the split knuckles she was cleaning with a damp rag flinched away. Donella looked up, her eyes sharp as her partner fidgeted on the bench. There was dirt smudged on her freckled cheek but no other injuries besides her hand. She got lucky there, as in the taller pulled her from the scuffle before things could really escalate.
“Stop that.” She half-scolded half-ordered as she pulled the hand back and went to work. The skin was raw, dried blood already outlining the wounds in dark brown. Ulla flinched away again, making her sigh heavily before looking up. The woman was resting on one knee, her elbow propped up on the other. She tilted her head in question, voice softening as she spoke. “What’s up?”
When she was a kid she hated it when people tried to take care of her. She was wild Ulla who got caught out in the rain and tangled in the tall grass, who matted her hair beyond saving and skinned her knees on new excursions and she was not some baby. Some baby turned into little girl, little girl turned into damsel-in-distress, and so on. No matter the label, she was sure of one thing. She most definitely did not need saving.
But- there was something different about this, about how delicately Donella held her fingers in place- about how she would glare at her in mock-annoyance and tug her arm closer while cleaning with the most tender touch. She was mad at her, and she wanted Ulla to know, but she also helped her- stood by. And for the first time, she didn’t mind being taken care of. It was rotten work, to try and withstand her destructive flame- but there she stood, there she was.
Her blue eyes softened, she leaned forwards, resting her chin on her palm and elbow on her thigh. “Nothing.” She blinked, a small smile growing on her face.
“Don’t look at me like that,” But her cheeks were already growing pinker and her frown was fast fading. She melted her with one glance, it wasn’t fair. However, Ulla did bring her hand forwards and allowed her to work, a compromise. “You can’t keep getting into fights.”
She started, that mellow tone still interlacing with her words as she remembered a few hours ago. Some jerk made a passing comment about her, said her face would be so much nicer if she smiled more- Donella didn’t really hear the rest. She was pretty used to blocking out remarks like that. But Ulla, she was incredible… though she’d never tell her that to her face. The shorter jumped out of her seat without hesitation and after some heated words, well needless to say they were banned from that pub.
“It was cute when we were kids but now-” A heavy sigh as she started to wrap her wounds, “I just don’t want you getting hurt because of something stupid.”
Reaching forwards, she leaned down and lifted Donella’s chin up. Her fingers were soft against her skin, a touch that was there and also not. She tilted her head, blue eyes glistening in the light. When she spoke, it was a whisper- as if not even the birds in the trees around them or the bugs in the grass were allowed to hear. Though, as her tongue formed the unfamiliar sounds it seemed as if the very recipient of her words wasn’t allowed to understand them either. Because she couldn’t, she wasn’t strong nor brave enough to actually say it. So she’d hide behind veils of time, dead languages blanketing and obscuring her meaning.
“It’s not for something stupid. You are not stupid to me,” Ulla cooed, keeping her tone light as she spoke. The other didn’t get how much it infuriated her when people talked about her like that. “I’ll defend you no matter what, you deserve better.”
Her thumb started to trace up Donella’s jawbone, gaze twinkling as she watched how annoyed her friend looked, “I want to be what you deserve- but… what do I know? I don’t even know how I feel. But I know it’s cruel, to turn you into an experiment while I figure it out. So I won’t.”
A pause, she secured the bandage around her hand. “I have no idea what you just said. Flex,” She watched as Ulla did what she was told, forming a fist and then closing it before nodding with satisfaction at the tautness of the wrapping. Upon her satisfaction, Donella turned to put away their first aid kit. “You gonna tell me or what?”
“Fine fine,” She hopped up and helped gather their supplies, “I said ‘awe, you think I’m cute’.” Glancing over at her with a purposefully overexaggerated smirk, the woman yelped as she was hit jokingly with a rag- the fabric cracking a bit as it was shot through the air. She laughed, a melodic sound that softened the world around them- enough to dull the sharp edges of her longing as the two walked back to their wagon.
~~
Standing in front of the mirror, she pressed a hand to her stomach and stared down at the ocean of white fabric. She was fighting against the waves as they rose above her head- the storm was getting worse. Wind whipped against the insides of her mind and yet she felt dense, like a rock plummeting into the depths. The maids hurried around, struggling to keep her hair in the neat updo they had attempted. It wasn’t working- and watching the way they struggled to tame her mess only made Ulla’s bottom lip tremble. Was this what her future was going to be?
A click and the door opened, “Alright alright, it’s clearly not working!”
She turned, much to her helper’s protest, and hurried out of their busy hands as Donella entered the room. Running over to her friend, she took a second to glance down at her dress, a much simpler garment. Seeing her all dolled up, put together with not even a hair out of place- why couldn’t she be like that? “Donnie!” The waves died down a bit, she felt as if she could breathe again, like coming up for air.
Her face, usually so tense and forlorn, softened at her friend. She jumped a bit when she was pulled into a hug, one she sensed had a bit more desperation in how the shorter grabbed her middle and silently begged her to stay. Her green eyes passed over the helpers, “As Ulla’s maid of honor, I’ll take over from here.”
“But his Majesty and Quirin arranged-”
“Are they here right now?” She put her arms around her, gently rubbing at her shoulder as the women, with a sigh, headed out of the room.
“It’s my hair, Donnie,” The whine fell from her lips as she pulled away, sniffing to prevent any tears from smudging her makeup. “It can’t do what it’s supposed to do.”
“Then it’s not supposed to do it. Come here.” Stepping over, she brought out a chair from the side of the room, away from the set up of pedestal and mirrors- Demanitus they were putting her on display like she was a prized trophy. But she swallowed her comment and patted the seat.
Ulla happily obliged and settled down, making sure the skirt of her dress wasn’t being distressed. She sighed with contentment as those familiar cold fingers brushed against her temples once Donella went to work. “I’m so glad you’re here today.”
There was a heaviness to her words as she spoke, processing each syllable as it escaped from her lips. She was crossing a threshold and there was no going back- but maybe they could go through it together. She couldn’t survive the thought of being alone.
“I’m glad too,” Her hands worked quickly and skillfully to style the fiery red strands, a motion well-rehearsed from their childhood. She smiled to herself as she did this, breath leaving her lips in a sigh. Memories of that conversation just the night prior came back- Ulla’s hurried request to run away from it altogether, to go back to the way things were. “Yes. My answer is yes. Let’s go- We still have time… but will you be happy? I just want you to be happy,” Her fingers fluffed up her wild hair, “Would it be different if I told you sooner? Would I be where he is now?”
A giggle, it broke her from her thoughts- stopped the outdated sounds dancing off her lips. “What’s so funny?” Donella asked as she finished tucking the flowers and other Dark-Kingdom-provided accessories into place. Stepping back, Ulla hopped up and for a second she expected her to go look at herself in the mirror. But her friend turned around, beaming at her with those eyes that held galaxies.
“Remember when we were little and you’d hold me down to brush my hair?” She teased, remembering those fights that probably left them more disheveled than they started.
The taller snorted in response, “I should have given you a sedative and called it a day.” A small pause, “But we aren’t really kids anymore, are we?”
She nodded, feeling that pit in her stomach start to grow. It washed over both of them, the daunting fear that came from staring at an uncharted path. All she could do was hope there wasn’t a fork in the road. Standing, she had to do something- keep moving least she’d fall over.
Watching as Ulla smoothed down the skirt of her dress, she held out an arm which her friend took as she walked her over to the mirror. And for a moment, just for a second- Donella let herself imagine a different ending, another life.
Stepping up on the pedestal, her eyes widened slightly in surprise. That was not the style the maids had struggled to get her hair into, the locks fell over her shoulders and down her back with some strands pulled into a crown of sorts to keep them from falling too much into her face. Flowers and jewelry decorated the look, carefully placed and tucked into the strands. “That’s not what Quirin and I talked about, you know.”
“I know,” Donella stepped closer, putting her hands on both of the woman’s shoulders while she stood behind her, “I’m not saying that choice was bad,” It was just structured and neat and asked too much of her hair to hold. Especially since for their entire lives the most Ulla could get it to behave was in a simple bun, and even then flyaways loved to pop out within hours.
Her hand gently reached down, grabbing onto the other’s and interlacing their fingers. Her green gaze lingered a bit on their reflection- maybe if she tried a little harder. “It just wasn’t you.” Straightening, she stepped back and reached out a hand to help Ulla down, the corners of her eyes crinkling.
“What did you say to me earlier?” She asked upon seeing Donella hesitate. “You muttered and I don’t think you were speaking English.”
Opening her mouth, she allowed her lips to pull into a grin. “You look beautiful. And you make a lovely bride.” Judging by the sun, she’d have to find her place at the ceremony soon. They were running out of time.
“Thank you.”
“Oh and also-” She leaned forwards, dropped her voice to whisper into Ulla’s ear. “Don’t trip.”
~~
The music’s hum vibrated through all her bones as she walked down the aisle, eyes locked straight ahead at Quirin standing at the altar. The man looked perplexed for a moment at the change of plans before his face softened and he smiled at her. She grinned back, lifting her chin a bit and ignoring how a bead of sweat ran down the nape of her neck. He looked at her like she was something precious, he adored her. Her fingers squeezed the bouquet- almost there-
She never planned on getting married in the Dark Kingdom, so far from home. Her aisles were not filled with her family, but rather people she knew for maybe a few months since she arrived. She was alone. Oh, this was just like her- running off and doing something on a whim and now she drove herself into a dead end. How far had she walked? Where was she going? Forwards- there was nowhere else to go. There was no turning back. Her wedding march was playing but somehow it didn’t feel like it played for her.
A tightening of her throat, she pulled her smile wider and tried to keep her eyes from getting that nervous glint. Quirin didn’t seem to notice, or he didn’t show it on his face, that was good, that was- her line of sight shifted to the woman standing off to the side, still at the front but not center. Donella made a face at her, raising an eyebrow as if to ask ‘are you okay?’. She let out a breath, her shoulders relaxing a bit as she nodded and her expression became a bit more real- a bit more her. The taller’s green eyes darted to the man, then back to her, then back to him, urging her forwards. It occurred to Ulla that she had stopped just before the rise in the floor, as if hesitating.
Cool air pushed out from her lips, Donella’s voice in her mind telling her to go on. And it felt like she could do anything as long as she had her by her side. She stepped up to the altar and turned her back to her friend, facing her soon-to-be husband.
~~
The reception was alive and well. Adira and Hector sat down, both looking incredibly smug from their joint speech while Quirin sat at the newlywed table with his face almost as red as his new wife’s hair. Wife- that word still made Ulla’s stomach twist as she stared at her reflection in the plate and tried to assign that label to herself.
She was pulled from her thoughts by Donella standing and fumbling around with some notecards. While arranging her wedding she had asked the woman if she wanted the responsibility of being her maid of honor, which she had happily accepted. At that time Ulla asked if she’d like to sit the speech out since public speaking was one of her long-time fears. But the taller was insistent that she would do this- for her.
So many pairs of eyes were glued onto her, maybe this was a bad idea. Staring down at the cards, she gulped and held her breath for a second. The ink blurred together, her mouth ran dry. Glancing up, a quiet ‘pst’ caught her attention and drew it over to the table. Those blue eyes met her own, she flashed that award-winning smile, and Donella opened her mouth.
“I’ve known Ulla for well over a decade, and in those years I have never once seen her back down from an adventure.” A good start, she was still standing and hadn’t spilled anything, she glanced down at her cards. “While being here, under the hospitality of the Brotherhood, we heard stories of how this brave knight vanquished evil forces and completed daring quests. I remember Ulla pulling me aside one day and gushing about how he was… incredible.”
Her chest was growing tight, she stared at the rest of her speech- the letters themselves looked unsure, as if they didn’t believe their meanings either. It wasn’t her. And when she spoke she knew it was contrived and awful and- Her hand crumpled the card and tossed it aside. Quiet mutterings around her, Quirin gave her this look as if telling her to not do something brash. But Ulla just leaned in, her eyes sparkling as she waited. That gave her the strength to continue.
“I don’t know what the future may hold for you two, no one does, but I hope you both carry that same sense of adventure with you wherever you may go. Quirin, I don’t say this a lot, but you’re a great man,” He gave her a small nod, respectful and a little surprised, “I wish you all the best. And Ulla,”
Her voice softened as she stared at her, “The world won’t know what hit ‘em.” The woman grinned in understanding. Sometimes if a language was common enough they’d both gradually learn it- leading to little sayings meant only for each other.
She blinked away tears, contorting her started frown into a smile and tongue into sounds unfamiliar to Ulla this time as she raised a glass and continued. “And I’ll step back. Just let me stay by your side any way that I can because- as long as I have you I know I’ll be okay.”
A breath, allowing the what-ifs floating around her mind to fade away. That night of questions and delusional plans to run should have been lost to time. She’d never hold her closer than a friend, never press sweet kisses between her eyes after a long day. Those moments would be cast away to dreams- becoming the very things that kept her up at night, tethered to the harsh grasp of reality. “I’ll always be your best friend, thank you for being mine.”
Ulla stared at her, gripping the sides of her seat to keep herself from jumping up and running over. She didn’t know what she was feeling or what she planned to do. But she knew how her heartbeat raced in her chest and everything felt floaty inside.
She mouthed the words ‘thank you too’, what else could she say? There was so much she could- so much she wanted to and somehow they became nothing at all. It killed her inside to think that they’d stay that way, but maybe it was for the better. After all, she’d always have those green eyes in her life- that was enough.
Pushing her glass up higher, as if convincing herself to keep going, Donella’s hand shook, the liquid moving around in the container, “I raise a toast to the bride and groom, to your happy marriage and prosperous future under the light of the sun and the reflection of the moon.”
~~
At that point in the night, both members of the Brotherhood had enough booze in their system to loudly drag the groom onto the dance floor. Watching from the sidelines, she chuckled and downed the last of her champagne, a slight flush on her pale cheeks as she made her way over to the table and reached for the bottle.
“Donnie!” That voice, like a breeze in the hot summer, pulled her from her thoughts. Ulla ran over and giggled as she took both her hands, standing on her toes. Her hair was a bit messier but still styled and holding up much better than the original would have. “Come dance with me before you pour another glass!”
“Ha-” It was a sharp laugh, one that still made the shorter perk up to attention, “I’d need this extra glass to even get on the floor.” Despite her cynicism, she found herself being pulled towards the crowd and music, not that she was doing much to resist it.
Ulla beamed as Donella lifted her hand and spun her around. She put her weight back, throwing herself into rotation happily before she stood on her tip-toes and did the same for the taller who had to duck to complete the motion. It was the thought that counted. She was smiling, this grin that took over her face and shone like the stars to Ulla. While entranced, she let their fingers interlace.
The music was blaring as they danced, she laughed and for once allowed herself to loosen up just a touch. Maybe it was the alcohol- maybe it was her one last hurrah for the life they could have had. But whatever the reason, she was having a good time. Opening her eyes, they fixated on the woman in front of her, all dolled up in her white dress. She was enchanting, and when their gazes locked- it was as if the world was all their own.
Though she was out of breath and the fabric encasing her was much too heavy and warm for what she’d like to do, she felt free. Something in her stomach told her she was exactly where she belonged. Under the noise of stomping feet and violins, she spoke. “He’s a good guy. And he makes me happy! I love him! I think I do. He takes care of me- You said it yourself.” Panting, she stepped forwards and Donella moved back, keeping in time, “And now things won’t have to change between us. I like what we have- I’m scared to lose it if I want more. Which I don’t! I can’t- I can’t want that. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
While she was speaking, her voice had softened from a yell to a whisper, enough to make her friend notice and tilt her head in concern.
“What’s that mean?”
“Nothing much!” She shouted back breathlessly and gave her hands a tight squeeze, “Just that you’ll always be my best friend too!”