Chapter Text
Maybe I am wrong?
I thought I wasn't as ill as they said I was, Mother and Father sent me here at 14, told me it was going to be better this way. Apparently it was to help me get better, they were only trying to help, right?
They dropped me off in summer of 2016 which they promised me this would be a sanctuary somewhere I would be safe. As I never felt safe at home, or more exactly the town I grew up in.
On the drive way there was iron fencing everywhere with a neat green, black and white sign with 'welcome to Pine Tree sanatarium'
Everyone was nice originally, Nurse Greyling was really kind and would check on my room every few hours. I did not realise originally why they did this, through my years here I have now realised. After a week this changed, people would shout and yell you would only be allowed out of your room or cell for 35 minutes for fresh air and half an hour for each meal. There were communal areas but these were neglected there was a clear film of dust over the furniture, personally I believe this was to give the impression that this castle would be a 'home' to us. This was a facade to all of us here, there was a darker more sinister side that anyone who knew anything about sanatariums knows.
Though this place has left me struggling more than anyone could imagine.
Stones tower to block out the sunlight, bars on the windows, a place they said we could 'relax'.
I can never relax here, they said its our home.
What kind of home, has a basement that houses cells were these 'doctors' give us injections, pills and infusions to try and help us.
My only home is when I am with them, my lovely Ethel.
They are the one that makes this place feel easier, I spend each day dreaming about the freedom we will have when we leave.
We planned to leave this place, it would be simple. My wonderful Ethel and I could run into the courtyard hide in the laurel bush and leave when the doctors do at 17:46 each day.
There is extensive woodland surrounding the 'castle', we would lay low for a while and try and get hold of Mother or Father then maybe our friends Alex and Mo.
That would be the plan run and escape as we have been here for 5 years each, Ethel is a year and a half older than I.
All we need is to feel safe and feel welcomed somewhere we can call home.
I leave a note after I leave for the afternoon 'treatments', at least these ones will be easier than the other days as it's alternative talking therapy today.
After an hour of being yelled at for my mental health problems then given a glass of orange juice, I was returned to my room.
A note in small neat handwriting was left under my door, stating '17:36 at the laurel bush, Babe I love you xx'
I pack my small worn canvas backpack and throw the backpack out the window, I stuff some pillows under the bedding and place an old hoodie underneath too.
As I eventually make it to the laurel bush all I hear is 'Maude, babe I am relieved you made it'.
A small shiny badge is held in Ethel's right hand, the name Dr Grizwald is written on it with the barcode.
'Apparently, he dropped it in the corridor, darling.'
Oh okay, lets go, they are gone.
We run faster, faster, faster - through the brambles, ferns and through the beech and oak trees.
The Master of that place cannot find us, otherwise there will be no way that this will ever end well.
We know we will be labelled as 'mentally deranged'.
Ethel stumbles down a foot path down the hill, we make it to the stream where there is an old bunker from World War Two, we are safe for now but time is a ticking bomb.
I pull them in and gently kiss their lips promising that they won't have to face this world alone anymore.
We had escaped the Sanitarium for now...