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You entered your potions class, you weren't late but it seemed like everyone else was already there huddling around the lesson written out on the blackboard. The class was no longer required now that you were a sixth-year student but you found yourself having a small knack for potions and without much direction for what else you wanted to do with your life, you stuck to what you were good at.
Students from all houses were discussing how the room smelt different to them today although each student identified something different that they were smelling. You shrug off the idea, unable to see the name of the potion, you think the students might be teasing one another.
“That is part of the magic of amortentia,” Professor Slughorn announces, appearing from behind a blackboard of instructions for making the potion.
“Can anyone tell me what this potion does?” he asks the now silent group of sixth year's.
“It’s a love potion, sir,” one of the Ravenclaws behind you answers.
“Correct, but this potion only mimics strong affection, love can never be created,” Slughorn explains.
The students nod, most of them knew that already. Looking around you had seen all of the students on a trip to Hogsmede at least once before, meaning they had most definitely stumbled into the Weasley’s shop and seen the love potions that were available for purchase there.
“Everyone to your stations, twenty-five points will be awarded to the house of the student that first successfully brews the potion!” Professor Slughorn announces and everyone goes to their stations and begins to prepare the ingredients.
You open your textbook to the page on amortentia and follow the directions closely as Slughorn gives you a piece of parchment to complete on the potion. You don't even look at the assignment yet, focusing on brewing a perfect potion. Amortentia isn't the hardest potion but would be very difficult if you weren't giving it your full attention.
A cauldron on the far side of the classroom erupts and a purple goop covers the Gryffindor students who were working with the cauldron. Professor Slughorn sends the pair off to the hospital wing just to make sure they're both okay.
You shake your head, you don't have time for these distractions. The potion in front of you is your priority. Another half hour must pass before anything pulls your attention.
“25 points to [Y/H],” Slughorn announces to the class and you look up across the lab bench to see your friend, Selena Putnam, smiling proudly with her perfectly brewed amortentia.
Selena puts her head down and starts to work on her assignment while you go back to your potion, if Selena can do it, you know you can.
Only a few minutes later, a pink puff of smoke shaped as a heart blooms from the potion, a perfect amortentia potion.
“Well done, Mx. [Y/L],” Slughorn says, “five points to [Y/H].”
You smile and take out your quill. Before beginning your assignment, you pull a stool next to Selena who isn't any very far ahead.
“I hate these assignments,” Selena groans, “I made the potion, I hope I know the ingredients I use.”
You chuckle noticing that it is the first question that Slughorn asked, it's also the only question Selena has completed.
“Can I join you two?” Martin Steele asks, sitting down next to you both. Despite being in [if you're in Slytherin/ Gryffindor, the other. Same with Hufflepuff/ Ravenclaw.], you three had the same charms class as first year's and had been inseparable ever since.
“You're such a cheater, Martin!” Selena insists, “you just want to copy [Y/N] and I’s hard work.”
“You two don't even have the first question done,” Martin counters.
Selena huffs, “fine, if you must join us.”
You smile at Selena’s teasing but elbow her gently to urge her to stop picking on Martin.
While the outcome was probably foreseen, the three of you don't get any more of the work done before the class period is over so you all decide to go to the library in hopes perhaps you all might work better.
Martin, Selena, and you all dislike actually having to focus on the potions paper but it doesn't take long once you all buckle down on the assignment. In less than twenty minutes, both Selena and Martin are done but you struggle with the last question.
“What does amortentia smell like to you?”
You close your eyes and try to picture yourself in the potions classroom again. What did the room smell like? You can remember the students chatting, mint and pine were common scents that students were smelling in the air. One of the girls mentioned a tropical beach, while one of the muggle-born boys said chlorine because his girlfriend was a muggle who was a competitive swimmer. You couldn't remember anything unique about the smell of the potion classroom.
You glance over at Selena’s paper, she had written down lavender and honey with a hint of freshly cut grass. Martin’s paper reads coffee, cinnamon, and freshly baked bread. You groan, did they seriously smell those things in the air while brewing amortentia, or were they just making it up to complete the assignment?
“Umm… [Y/N]!” Selena snaps her fingers in your face, “you're zoning out!”
“Sorry, I was just curious if you guys actually thought the classroom smelt differently today?”
“That's one of amortentia’s properties, it smells different to each person based on what they love,” Martin explains.
You groan, you knew that, it was written on the board, and Slughorn explained it in his previewing lecture, and you had read about it in your textbook but you couldn't recall what it smelled like to you.
“I just can't remember the room smelling any different than usual,” you complain.
“Maybe you're in love with Slughorn!” Selena laughs.
“I am not!” you object, even if that would explain the lack of a unique smell, you refused to believe that you would ever love a man who was at least four times your senior.
Martin shrugs, “if you don't remember, just lie. Slughorn won't know any different.”
“It’s not that I don't remember, it's that I really don't think I smelled anything! Isn't that impossible?”
“Come on, [Y/N], forget the assignment for a while and come eat with us,” Selena says and begins to put away her books.
Martin follows suit, “maybe you’ll smell something familiar in the great hall.”
“You two go on, I’m going to try and find a book,” you say, running a hand through your hair before letting your head fall onto the desk.
Selena looks at you with a frown but turns and leaves with Martin anyway even if she doesn't know if she should.
“I can't be the first, which means something has to be in this library about it,” you mumble to yourself.
A seventh-year Ravenclaw places a hand on your shoulder and you turn your neck around, looking up to face a girl you don't think you've ever seen before.
“Sorry, I’ll be quieter,” you say, assuming that's why the girl came over because you don't even remember her being that close to your table.
“You said you don't smell anything from amortentia,” the Ravenclaw student says.
“Yes,” you admit, although it's not really her business.
“You don't know what it means though, do you?”
You glare at the girl, “I don't need you to ridicule me.”
“You won't find the answer in any textbook, but I’m just like you. You clearly don't want to know the truth about it though,” she flips her hair and walks away.
“Wait!” you call out, “I do want to know. I just didn't realize someone else was like me.”
“You're aromantic,” the seventh-year explains, “think about it, you don't smell anything because you aren't romantically attracted to anyone.”
“You’re... And I… But…” you stutter, not being able to find words to describe how you feel right now.
“Go, ask your friends what love is, how they felt fawning over people they fancy, and you will conclude that you have never felt love the same way they have.”
“I don't… No, I had all these plans… I can't be…” you still don't know what to say but it feels as though your world has shattered because there were a lot of things you were expecting but being aromantic was not one of them.
“You're in denial, but my name is Lucy if you ever want to talk again.”
With that, Lucy disappears and you're left in the library maybe even more confused than you were to begin with.
You think it has to be impossible because people describe objects they love, like Treacle tart, when describing amortentia. Despite not feeling romantic attraction, you had to love something, so why didn't amortentia have any scent on you?
You decide to rush to the great hall and take a seat next to Selena and ask about her experiences with love and you find yourself more and more worried that Lucy was right. You don't recall your heart fluttering at the sight of someone like Selena tells you about, or the heat rushing to your cheeks when that special someone is complimenting you.
You still can't bring yourself to believe it so, despite Martin being at his house’s table, you take a seat. Everyone kind of glares at you because it's rare for the houses to mix during a meal but you ignore it as you ask him similar questions about what it means to love someone. He describes the warm feeling that just takes over your body and how everything falls second to that person's happiness.
You don't know why you can't stand the thought but you get up and sprint out of the great hall and turn a few corridors until you collapse against a wall. You can't slow down your rapid breathing, your vision is fuzzy, and you don't know what else to do because you feel more lost than you ever have.
“You understand it now, don't you?” a feminine voice calls and you recognize Lucy through a stream of tears that had begun to flow.
“I’m not supposed to be like this!” you shout.
Lucy sits down next to you and wraps her arm around you, “I know. I've been there. I promise you, it will be okay. You’ll embrace it one day, it's a part of who you are, and you have to be proud of it.”
“What about having a partner, a family…? There's so much that I wanted, am I just supposed to never have it, give it all up because this is who I am?”
“No, you don't give it up. You find someone who understands, you find someone who will give you want and respect your boundaries because I'm going to guess physical displays of affection aren't your thing.”
You think about it and you hate that Lucy is right, you didn't mind sharing affection with a person but it wasn't ever something you thought was necessary.
“It doesn't have to change,” Lucy swears.
You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand before she helps you stand up. Thankfully your breathing is back to normal and you take a deep breath. It's a part of you but that doesn't mean there has to be a change in who you are.