Work Text:
"Wanted: Housemate.
Please be a student of the Akademiya at least. Rent will be 1,000 Mora a month, lenient if you're dedicated to your studies of course. If you're not bothered by one of us talking more than studying, this is the place for you. Residency is ________. Please have this ad with you when you come to apply - we will ask you additional questions.
Thank you for your time.
-Alhaitham and Kaveh
Augh! Alhaitham, is this really a way to bring in a new housemate? By the Archons! You're so bland and ice cold, nobody's going to take this home!
-Kaveh
Kaveh, stop editing the post.
-Alhaitham"
Now you're not going to open this up with some dramatic monologue about your hopes and dreams back in Fontaine. The basis of your story is, you preferred researching all things as opposed to just studying law in a nation of justice. Surely your Archon would forgive you for this, considering that when you'd finally collapsed after finishing a compilation stringing together what you'd learned about the stars and their alignment, the gods took notice of your dedication and climbing curiosity. When you woke up in 28 hours exactly, sitting loyally at your bedside was your Hydro vision. (You're still confused why it's Hydro.)
When you came to your father with your Vision in hand and your papers, he smiled and put a hand on your head. Then he told you that if you wanted to pursue knowledge and research as you have for so long, then he would happily send you to Sumeru to attend the Akademiya.
"You have talent, genius, [Name]," You remember he said, "I don't want to see you squander it with such a restrictive curriculum here."
And with that and your mother's blessing, you were put on a boat with your luggage and everything you'd require, and set due course for Sumeru.
Course... nobody really prepared you for what happens once you're in the Akademiya. After passing the entrance exam with flying colors, you did of course think for a moment you had dormitories to speak of, or something like that. Turns out, nope, and you've been panicking since you found out and just had to be spending your time exploring Sumeru City before finding a solution to your problem. Eventually you were told to just check the town billboard near where you can do reputation work and see what you can find.
Like an answer to your prayers, this ad is fresh and clean, smelling like fresh tree corpses, posted right at the front.
... Hm. With your allowance from your parents, you can definitely afford a monthly 1,000 Mora for a house split between three. And it definitely would be a tremendous weight of your shoulders, considering you can't be picky at this point. So you take the ad down, scan the address one more time, and roll it up and begin your trip.
Eventually your search, along a quick verification of the address, brings you to a nicer house closer by the Akademiya. It's a very decent size, having two stories and clearly being meant to have a lab, library, whatever a student could require, as though the architects in charge predicted Akademiya students would take the place up. Or even the sages themselves. Is it made to have multiple people?
...
Considering the two yelling voices inside, the answer might be yes.
Swallowing your innate anxiousness, you politely stride up to the door, knocking. In a moment the shouting becomes clearer, and your stomach henceforth twists and convulses into infinity.
"H-Hey, this isn't finished, Alhaitham!"
"Be quiet, it might be another tenant-to-be finally."
"ALHAITHAM!"
Before long, the door opens, and standing there with a cross, exasperated expression is a handsome man. Still not used to the Akasha terminal you give a soft nod, a polite smile on your face as you put on your best behavior so as to not cause him anymore trouble than he seems to be having.
"Hello, am I in the right place?" You ask.
He maintains that ice cold stare. "Depends. What place are you looking for?"
Feeling you may crack if you don't have it all down to the letter, you tug the ad from your inner pocket, placing it in his awaiting hand. "I saw this ad at the billboard near the Grand Bazaar. 1,000 Mora for a housemate. If I don't have the right house, I'm very sorry to bother you-" He stops you with a raised hand.
"Yes, this is the right house. I'm assuming you're here to interview, so no need to stand on ceremony." He moves into the house. "Wipe your feet, I just mopped."
With your life already flashing before your eyes you dare not provoke his ire, wiping your shoes on the rug. Once you're certain there's nothing left to wipe you follow him into the house, politely closing it behind you. There's a smell like old books and lotus flower - a popular scent for cleaning supplies around here - to accentuate the cleanliness of the place. Sure there's some mismanaged tchotchkes here and there, but you're not going to nitpick. As a matter of fact, you're much more at ease upon seeing them; it means you likely won't be expected to follow overtly stringent rules.
Not that you'd complain if you did, considering you have no choice if you want a roof over your head while you carry on your studies.
"Before we get started on the actual interview, what's your name?" His voice, as far as you understand, is generally harsh in that he's, just by the look of him, a no nonsense man. Business first, pleasure later. Along with importance practically radiating from his unique Akademiya clothes, his eyes are prepared to tear you inside out if you make trouble for him.
You clear your throat. "[Name]. [Name] [Last Name], from Fontaine."
He sticks a hand out in proper etiquette. "Alhaitham, Scribe of the Akademiya."
The Scribe?! Oh man, oh man...!
To sort of explain the flaring of your nerves, you've heard of the Scribe, yes, but you haven't actually seen the guy. If you were told he'd be about your age and... well, not some wrinkled and uppity old man, you'd have probably laughed. But he's... Alhaitham. You're used to the more important figures of your life being older, but if not the Grand Sage, he's probably one of the most important people in the Akademiya. Are you even qualified at all?
You pull yourself from your thoughts in time to note the creasing between his brow slowly deepening, and you sheepishly take his hand, shaking it firmly whilst maintaining eye contact.
"It's a pleasure." Shit, did your voice tremble?
With a satisfied hum and a relaxed expression, he makes a beckoning gesture and moves further into the house. Before you even blink he's led you to a living room - also able to be mistaken as a library. Comfy sofas and chairs are practically spotless, books on the shelves in order of relevance apart from numbered volumes, and a rug below them and a clean table to showcase the care put into keeping it clean.
In one of the seats, a beautiful man is sitting, arms crossed with pursed lips. He looks more like a wizard or something, moreso one with a moving castle and everything. Ornamentally dressed from chest to toes, showcasing his chest for no apparent reason, with just some of his clothes implying him being a student of the Akademiya as well. Light oak, almost amber eyes are narrowed in clear annoyance, and his temperament only relaxes upon seeing you. Moreover, he makes an 'oops' expression and sits straight up, clearing his throat and crossing one leg to look put together in a hurry, as though hoping you hadn't seen him being uncouth.
"Wonderful strategy, Kaveh: show her the worst of yourself so she knows what she's dealing with." You can practically hear Alhaitham rolling his eyes, before he sighs in exasperation. "[Name], this is Kaveh, my roommate. If you're lucky, you'll be his replacement."
Kaveh's face flip-flops to a mixture of betrayal and reignited irritation. "You insufferable-!"
"Shut up." Alhaitham pats a chair and sits in the one opposite it. "Let's begin, get this over with."
Nodding, you take a seat, keeping your knees together and sitting like a lady.
Tugging out a notepad of some kind, Alhaitham's mouth opens as though prepared to ask a question, until he pauses mid-breath, sighing and shaking his head. Without much context to it, he simply just tears the paper out and throws it over his shoulder, perfectly arced, straight onto Kaveh's head. Already taking this as a sign of things to come, you resign to whatever argument will come up.
Lo and behold...
"ALHAITHAM!" Kaveh yelps. "For the last time, would you stop throwing out the questions I have written down for candidates? They're perfectly reasonable!"
"And for the last time." Alhaitham turns his head to glare at him properly. "It doesn't matter right now what her goals are after the Akademiya. What matters is what kind of roommate she is and how well she'll fit here."
"Don't you act like you're innocent! Aren't you the one who wanted to know whether she'd want to become a sage, or even be an assistant to the Grand Sage? That kind of doubt has to mean something!" Kaveh cries, putting his hands on his hips.
A bit awkwardly, you look between the two. "Do I need to be here for this? I can come back-"
"No." Alhaitham's attention is back on you. "Excuse him, he's stupid." Looking back down at the notepad and ignoring Kaveh's expression of utter dismay, he hums in satisfaction and looks back up at you. "Now remember, you're not enlisting to be traveling to Inazuma, so you can relax. Are you ready?"
You nod.
"Alright." He glances down at the paper, then back up. "Are you a morning person, or are you more of a night owl?"
"I'm more of a morning person," You reply. "Staying up late just to study... doesn't agree with me."
"Do you consider yourself a neat freak?"
You make a balancing gesture with your hands. "Well, it depends. I prefer having a clean desk and everything, and I don't keep my dishes in my room long, but I'm not bothered by a few things in disarray."
"Alright then." He makes a few more quick glances. "What is your opinion on the Akademiya sages?"
That's... an odd one. "I feel... I dunno, they're really secretive about their work, especially in regards to the Akasha. It doesn't feel right for them to keep us, the citizens of Sumeru, in the dark about what's going on behind the curtain. I'd be more trusting of them if they talked about it more openly, and being accepting to petition."
An interested quirk of Alhaitham's brow. "Interesting. And Lesser Lord Kusanali?" The current god of Sumeru.
Taking a moment, you tighten the ribbon in your hair. "If it's true the sages are just holding her in the Sanctuary of Surasthana, to say she isn't a good god is an unfair statement - especially if she hasn't the chance to see or speak to her own people."
The lightest of smirks touches his lips, and he lowers the notepad to his lap for a moment. After surveying you - why this includes looking you up and down you'll never know - for a moment he makes a satisfied nod, Kaveh doing the same.
"I like you." Kaveh accompanies the statement with a smile of his own. "You're, bar none, one of the best candidates we've had... Alhaitham."
"I can appreciate someone with conscience; that's going to get you far in the Akademiya, regardless of what the sages tell you." Alhaitham's regular harsh tone has lightened, but retains its businesslike baritone. "You're also, from what I can tell, an honest, even if shaky, person."
"Not to mention, your manners are impeccable," Kaveh adds. "Would you like to replace him?"
"... I'm about to have her replace you, Kaveh." And they're back at it.
These guys sound just like an old married couple...
"Do you need some time to deliberate?" You ask. "If I need to come back-" Alhaitham stops you with a raised hand once more.
"No need." He circles around the table to you, reaching into his pocket. "Give me your hand."
Tilting your head, you put your hand in his, which he turns palm up and puts a set of keys in it. They have no signs of wear and tear, implying these aren't even spares - they were specifically made for a third roommate. Cold as they are, just feeling them in your hand puts a warmth inside your heart, to the point you can't even hide your smile.
"If you have luggage, we'll give you some help with it, and if you have any questions or concerns don't be shy." He gives the back of your hand a pat, and you graciously put the keys in your pocket, swearing that if you were an animal person your tail would be wagging so hard.
"Oh sure, we'll give you help..." Kaveh grumbles. "Alhaitham, the last time you said that, you mentioned going and getting food midway and then I went looking and you were off reading a book and leaving me to do all the work!"
"I got the food all the same, didn't I?" Alhaitham huffs. "And it wasn't anything heavy, anyway - you're only complaining because you are lazy."
"LAZY!" Kaveh's voice cracks. "And what do you call yourself? Oh, oh, 'studious', maybe? Or perhaps 'diligent' or 'meticulous'?"
You can only smile emptily at the unfolding chaos.
... Help me.
"No, no, your timeline is all wrong. The Stormterror happenings in Mondstadt were before the death of Rex Lapis." You point to another spot on your fellow student's thesis. "And Osial was killed by Lady Ningguang throwing the Jade Chamber, not in the crossfire between Liyue and the Fatui; the Fatui Harbinger Childe was directly responsible for Osial's reawakening."
"Er, yes." He quickly corrects his mistakes.
Since moving in with Alhaitham and Kaveh - it's been a solid few weeks now, a bit over a month - it's been an adventure. Contrary to what you were led to believe the arguments didn't start until they verified you were awake and in the headspace to deal with it. Though if they were already bickering and you asked Alhaitham a question he would cover Kaveh's face and engage like he wasn't even there. On the breaks you were allowed the three of you created some order in the house. Now, a normal person would think that three young adults in the same house was nothing but trouble. This is true of just Alhaitham and Kaveh - you've played mediator since you realized you could let your guard down around them.
"ALHAITHAAAAMMMMM!!!"
... Except for when that happens.
Sighing, you pat your schoolmate on the arm to assure him. "Just review the Liyue history books and you'll be just fine, but they also said to add some personal thoughts on the matter. This is a report on the events as well as how we view them - the words of us researchers will provide additional perspectives for those whom carry on our worm. Remember that."
"Thank you, [Name]!" He gives you a smile of joy and relief. "You're a saint! I don't know if I could ever..."
His gaze falls behind you, and just as you turn around- hi Kaveh.
"[Naaaaaame]! Who is this man?!" He cries theatrically, throwing his arms around your hips. Huh. "Has our special night meant nothing to you?! Do you not remember that night you toasted to my eyes?!"
"What are you on about, Kaveh?" You ask, growing increasingly concerned. "Have you been drinking?"
"There you are, sweetheart." ALHAITHAM? "I was wondering where you were." His arm goes around your shoulders, staring down the other student. "Ah, were you two studying?"
You try not to acknowledge your sanity tearing at the seams. "... Yes. We just finished."
"Ah, Scribe Alhaitham!" Your fellow student squeaks, backing up a few paces. "Ah, uh, thank you again, [Name], I'll come to you again if I need anything!"
"And don't forget about the Fatui this time!" You call after his retreating back. Once he's gone you turn your attention to Alhaitham and Kaveh, now standing in a line. Kaveh looks proud of himself, whilst Alhaitham just looks like he's having another day at the office. "Now what in Rukkhadevata's name has gotten into you?"
They offer no answer, for the most part, but then it's Alhaitham that opens his mouth for once.
"You said it yourself, we need to put the time aside to compile our knowledge and put it together for exams." Alhaitham doesn't even flippantly wave; it's not his style. "We agreed on five o'clock, I was just making sure you were free so you wouldn't miss it."
Your face maintains the annoyed contortions - and Kaveh talks next.
"... I just thought you were being hit on or something."
You slump.
You guys...