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“We’re heading out. Don’t stay up too late.”
“Mhm. Bye mom,” Sapnap said, shooting a small wave his mom’s way.
“Bye honey, love you.”
“Love you too.”
He hears the door close, taking one headphone off of his ear to listen as she walks down the stairs, out the front door.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
He sees the lights of the car pass through his window and the second they disappear, he practically jumps over his bed to where his phone is charging (Sapnap’s mom doesn’t think it’s healthy for him to have two screens staring at him at once) and quickly goes to Karl’s contact.
sapnap
My parents are at some fancy business thing
Wanna come over
I have candy
Karl <3
Oh, freaky now are we?? ;)))
sapnap
Stfu i did not say ANYTHNG about fucking
Karl <3
Jkjkjk yes ofc bb
Do you have spicy grass
sapnap
Yeah
Karl <3
Omw
sapnap
Yay
window is open
He moves his phone to sit by him on the desk, making sure to see any texts that come through. But as he waits for his boy, a couple of mindless games of Valorant will do.
And after a couple of minutes, he feels his headphones slowly slip off of his ears to sit on his shoulders, fingers suddenly running through his hair and a soft voice flowing through his head, “Hey honey.”
“Hi baby girl,” he says, a smile crossing his face, unashamed as he leans into his touch.
“What’cha doin'?”
“Valorant.”
“Mm. You winnin’?”
“‘M tryin’”
He feels a cheek on his head, then a long kiss to his hairline.
“You work on that, what kinda candy you got?” His voice flows, moving further away from him.
“I have uhh… Fruit Roll-Ups, Sour Patch Kids, gummy bears I think,” he says, turning and pointing to his nightstand drawer. “Should probably have some suckers in there too. Like the little blow pops.”
“You ever think about how sexual both of those names are?”
“Um, no?” he grimaces, not wanting to think too deeply about Karl’s statement, so he returns his gazeto his monitor.
He notices the lights turn from his signature intense scarlet to a hazy purple, a signal that Karl is here and ready to dominate Sapnap’s every thought for the next twelve hours (most likely more). He then hears a harsh gasp come out of the boy, making him turn again. “What?”
He brings the sugary fabric over to him and practically jumps with excitement. “They have the little tattoos on them!” he whispers.
He pauses for a second, enamored by the boy in front of him.
He has that giggly smile on his face, the one that he had when he saw that stray orange tabby, or when Sapnap had bought him that dumb little flame necklace (Karl never thought it was dumb. He’s been wearing it ever since.)
A large white shirt hangs off of his figure, the dumb Guns ‘n Roses one he’d stolen from Sapnap years ago- he’d liked it because the neckline could hang low, showcasing his perfectly sculpted collarbones.
Sapnap liked it because it was easier to suck hickeys into the planes of his chest without it being too obvious.
But he snaps out of his trance, humming a small “ mhm” with a fond smile and turning back to his monitor.
Out of his peripheral, he sees the boy move closer. After a moment, he speaks, right into his ear, “...You think if I put it on my tongue and then lick your cheek it’ll stick?”
He jumps back, hands rising to his ears. “What the fuck? You haven’t even started smoking yet!” he said, a quick laugh lacing his words.
He shifts from left to right, perfect lips quirked to one side like he always does when he’s disappointed. “Yeah, but do you think it'll work?”
Sapnap rolls his eyes, nothing but fondness for the boy next to him. “...probably,” he spoke, playing along with the bit.
He paused for a second. “Can I try?”
He knew he was whipped for this boy, but he wasn’t quite sure if he was that whipped.
So he breathes out a laugh again, shaking his head “You’re really something, Jacobs, you know that?”
“Mhm. You love it,” Karl taunts, returning behind Sapnap’s chair. He wraps his arms around the boy’s neck and places a kiss on his temple, making the other slowly lose focus in the game and let his character get shot.
He’s not mad.
“I sure do,” Sapnap breathes out, going to hold Karl’s hands, running his thumb across the backs of them. As usual, there are rings, clunky and cold- he’s wearing the one that Sapnap had given him, the cheap promise ring that was probably plastic but never left his finger.
“You gonna be done soon?” He asks, the soft tone never wavering.
“Mhm. I don’t think I’ll win.” He took his hands off Karl’s reluctantly, focusing back on the game in front of him as he respawned.
“Don’t give up.” The boy places his chin on top of Sapnap’s head, hands migrating down to his chest to stroke up and down it. No sexual intent of course, just feeling- drinking in every bit of him, solidifying the fact that he’s sitting in front of him, that he’s there, all for Karl to have.
So he plays for a couple minutes longer, not completely opposed to the idea of dying because Karl Jacobs is right for his taking, and he’s sitting there like an idiot playing Valorant.
“Shit,” he breathes out after he does exactly that, the losing screen now displayed on the monitor.
Karl’s arms tighten around his chest, lips landing on his forehead. “Aw, I’m sorry.”
Sapnap’s hands quickly return to Karl’s, squeezing as his shoulders instantly relax at the touch. “Eh. Already won enough today. Besides, I’ve got you now,” he says, going to look up at him.
It’s the first time that night that Sapnap could get a good look at his lover, taking in the boy’s face that’s free of bright makeup, just simple and plain but still so authentically him.
Same clear blue eyes framed with long lashes, freckles that Sapnap loves to trace so much scattered across his cheeks.
They stare at each other for a moment, eyes locking with the pair across from the other. Neither wants to say anything, nor want to ruin the moment.
But after a minute, Sapnap mumbles, “Hi there.”
“Hi baby.”
Karl moves to stand next to his chair and brings the boy closer, guiding his head to his chest like an angel to heaven. Sapnap lets himself go, releasing all the tension and stress from the last week because now Karl’s here- it doesn’t matter.
“Do I ever tell you how much I love you?” Karl asks, and Sapnap’s pretty sure he’s the one that should be asking.
“Yeah. Doesn’t hurt to say it more, though,” he says with a small smirk.
Karl shifts to hold Sapnap’s face in his hands, angling his jaw so that he’s looking up at him, cheek to chest.
In only about ten minutes of being together that night, Karl has already become his oxygen.
He looks down at him with a nurturing look, a hand cradling the side of his face, legs standing static between his own knees.
At this moment, Sapnap is simply a weak man and Karl is a goddess. Sapnap is a lost soul and Karl is a grim reaper with a lantern, guiding his way back home.
“I love you so much. Wouldn’t trade you for the world, sunshine,” he says simply, but to Sapnap it sounds like a psalm.
“Same to you Jacobs.” It’s all he can bring himself to say as Karl’s lips land on his own, soft cherry red against chapped pink. It’s a heavenly feeling as it always is, hands reaching up under his shirt to spread across his back.
But before Sapnap can get too excited, Karl pulls away with a smirk, knowing he has this boy wrapped around his finger.
And they return to their original position, taking their time tonight because they have time. They don’t need to rush into things mindlessly or do things just to do them- they can simply relish in each other’s touch, living life in slow motion.
“You wanna smoke?” Sapnap asks after a minute (he almost dozes off), eyes closed, basking in the cool touch of Karl’s hands from the outside air that is now running through his hair and down his back.
“Yeah, you wanna watch a movie?”
“Mhm. I was thinking Sixth Sense ?”
“Sure. Never seen it.”
So Karl removes his hands from Sapnap’s jaw- not before trailing fingers down his hairline and to his jaw, damn that perfect boy - and slips into his bed, arranging the panda squishmallow he’d gotten him for his birthday last year so that he can sit against it, sinking into the plush fabric.
And if Sapnap gets a good look at Karl’s ass while he’s doing that, well- no one has to know. Karl sure wouldn’t care.
He looks so cozy over there, cuddled up in Sapnap’s blankets adorned in the dumb color block hoodie they always tended to share- at this point, he isn’t sure who had it first.
The purple LED lights prompt Sapnap to stop and stare, a little kid with a stupid crush on the boy across the playground. The color bounces off of his high cheekbones making him look angelic, the colors of the candy in his hand and the fabric of the sweater covering his figure catching his eyes like a cat to a laser beam.
“You good there, pretty boy?” he taunts, cocking his head to the side and raising a brow.
It took Sapnap a second longer than he’d wished to snap out of the trance Karl always loved to put him in, letting out an embarrassed laugh and raising a hand to the back of his neck.
“You uh- entranced me with your heavenly glow, that’s all, gorgeous.” He starts to walk over to the bed.
“You haven't started smoking yet either, what’s with all this?”
“Just love you.”
“Love you too, baby”
He goes over to join him on the bed, sitting with his back to the boy and grabbing a small baggie out from under his lamp.
A large weight of warmth falls onto his back, Karl’s face appearing next to his and arms appearing around his waist. Sapnap let himself sit there, leaning his body against him and just letting himself be held, eyes closing for a minute until Karl removes his hand, opening his eyes slightly.
There were a few sour patch kids in his soft hand, colors looking even brighter under the violet glow from the lights. “You want one?”
“Sure.” He opens his mouth and turns slightly, letting Karl’s delicate hands place the candy on his tongue and letting it melt, lips puckering at the taste.
After a certain point of rolling his blunt, he’d expected Karl to move and start rolling his own- but he simply sat with his body against him, eating candy and dotting sugary kisses along Sapnap’s jaw. Not that he minded, of course- an ideal scenario if you asked him.
“Are you expecting me to roll your blunt for you?”
“Mhm. You’re a simp,” he says matter-of-factly, popping another piece of candy into his mouth.
Sapnap sighs, shoulders dropping. “You know me so well.”
So he takes the plant out of the small bag, grabs a paper and starts to roll as Karl watches silently, seemingly entranced by the movement of his fingers.
“Your hands are so pretty,” he mutters, words seemingly echoing in the silent room.
“Why thank you, Jacobs.”
He continues softly, words written in a fancy script as they drift through the air. “They’re my favorite. I think if I was blind that’d be okay because I could still hold them. I’d still be able to trace all the veins ‘n shit and feel your rings.”
It takes a second to regain his focus. He’s sure his face is as red as the fruit roll-up between Karl’s lips, biting back a smile. “A waxing poet tonight, now are we?”
“Only with you, baby.”
“Here you go.” He turns slightly and hands the blunt to the boy, admiring how it fell between his brightly painted nails.
“Why thank you, my love,” he says, quickly kissing his cheek and pulling away from him, back to his original position leaning against the pillows.
He looks like a woman from one of those old movies, draped across silk pillows in a sheer robe that seemed more for show than for practicality.
He draws him in like a drug.
So Sapnap grabs the lighter he’d stolen from Dream years ago and moves over to Karl, not being able to resist his bedroom eyes any longer (well- not in a sexual sense. Just in an intimate way, asking that they could be as close as possible in mind and body)
He flicks it, letting it set fire to the drug in his hand. He then holds it out to Karl, who shakes his head and cuddles closer to Sapnap, fitting himself into his side.
And because he knows all of Sapnap’s pressure points, he ever so gently rests his cheek on his shoulder, looking up at him with heavenly sapphire eyes, batting his long eyelashes.
“Shotgun?” He asks, softly.
“Sure babygirl.”
So he takes a deep inhale, soaking in the scent that would live in the room for the rest of the night.
And as he holds the smoke in his lungs, Karl reaches up to wrap his arm around his head, placing a hand on the cheek furthest away from him. He starts to scratch lightly behind his ear, releasing all the breath and smoke from his lungs and letting it enter Karl’s, the two boys looking at each other with heavily lidded eyes.
“You’re an angel, Karl Jacobs, you know that?” he mumbles, mind completely numbed by euphoria.
“You’re my angel,” he mutters, going in to place another kiss on his lips, Sapnap breathing more smoke into his mouth.
Now he’s sure there’s no going back.
Karl already has him wrapped around his finger, pulling back from the kiss slowly, making sure to hold the other’s bottom lip between his own for a second longer than Sapnap thought was necessary. Not that he minded.
“You wanna watch the movie now?”
“Yeah…” Karl breathes out, body sluggish and leaning against him as the high slowly spread throughout the two boy’s bodies.
So Sapnap retrieves his laptop- which was luckily on the floor within reach; he doesn’t t think Karl would let him move- and set up the movie.
Nights like this are his favorite. Nothing stressful or overdone, no forced fun or PDA.
They simply live as they are supposed to, two high school boys in love getting high and cuddling under a lilac sky.
At one point, Karl moves his legs across Sapnap’s, cheek to shoulder and arms around his waist. It takes him a while to realize that Karl had turned his head away from the computer and jumped at every noise, body curling up to Sapnap as close as possible.
“You scared, sunshine?” He jokes.
“...Maybe…” the other whispers weakly.
Something about the tone feels like a hand reaching into his brain and saying, ‘knock knock, fucker! Stop being high, your boyfriend is freaking out!’
“Oh wait- shit, sorry,” he says, going to stop the movie and reaching up to cradle Karl’s head on his shoulder, carding a hand through his soft hair.
“‘S fine.” He mumbles sleepily.
“You wanna watch somethin’ else?”
“Can we watch Totoro?”
“Of course, love.”
So he places a couple of kisses across his cheek, bringing a small giggle out of the boy. He in turn places quick kisses on Sapnap’s jaw, moving his head back to its rightful resting place on Sapnap's shoulder.
And there the two boys sit, too high to think coherent thoughts and leaning their full weight on each other, letting the surreal but comforting animation numb the world around them.
At one point throughout the movie, Karl starts to press soft, slow kisses to Sapnap’s jaw. The up to his temple, then to his cheek and his nose.
Sapnap pulls away, eyebrows knotting. “What’re you doin?”
“Kisses,” Karl says simply, bringing the other’s face right back to him and laying more kisses across it, a hand holding the side of his head and lightly scratching through auburn hair.
“I can see that,” he mutters, focusing more on Karl’s lips than the words coming out of his mouth.
“I’m your boyfriend, do I need a reason to kiss you?”
“Mm. Guess not.”
So Sapnap accepts the kisses as they cover almost every inch of his face, from his cheek to forehead, to the small divot where his brow bone intersected with his nose.
Somehow, Karl managed to get him higher on kisses than he could ever be with weed.
The gentle press of flower petal-like lips to his skin, the warmth coming and going from his face like a steady tide.
He doesn’t understand how anyone could possibly think sex was better than being kissed by Karl Jacobs.
Being slowly unraveled by the candy-colored boy would always beat sweatily rolling around with someone all to just clean it up the next morning- too much work.
So just being able to get high and let Karl place a million little ‘i love you’s’ all over Sapnap’s face feels like heaven, the scent of weed and cherry chapstick filling his lungs and silencing the world around him.
He’s only broken out of his purple haze when the kisses stop for just one moment- that’s all it took- and there is Karl’s soft voice next to his ear. “C’n I leave a bruise?” He mumbles, kisses coming back and moving down to his neck, Sapnap stretching so that he could reach more of it.
“Sure,” Sapnap responds, a smile crossing his face and hands coming to rest in Karl’s hair, mindlessly playing with the strands.
So he let himself melt into Karl’s touch as he feels his teeth on his neck, slowly and gently biting a hickey into it. Somehow, he takes all of the soreness out of it, placing kisses around it and starting on another one.
Until there’s a sharp pain that made him jump. “Ow-”
The boy pulls away quickly, looking up with worried eyes. “What?”
“You bit me. And not in a cute way,” Sapnap whines, jutting out his bottom lip in a pout.
“I’m always cute.”
“Well- yeah… but it kinda hurt,” he continues, suddenly an embarrassed boy with a schoolyard crush.
“Sounds like a you problem,” he quips, starting on another hickey near his collarbone.
He remembers the first time Karl had given him a hickey- he doesn’t think he’d ever been more embarrassed, his mom catching the marks on his neck and the two boys having to explain.
But it ended up being fine- his mom understood and accepted that Karl was ace and that there was physically no way either of them could be pregnant.
“I love you more than anything, Jacobs. You know that?” The words seem to tumble out of his mouth, with no control over if they should’ve or not.
“Mhm. Love you too, angel,”
And that’s the rotation they stayed with for the next couple of hours. The movie is long forgotten as they lay soft kisses on each other’s faces and necks, Karl sliding his hands under the hem of Sapnap’s shirt.
“What’re you doing?” He says, squinting at nothing.
“My hands are cold,” the other says offhandedly.
“Well now I’m cold.”
“You’re my human heater, that’s not possible.” He’d stopped the kisses for now, hands running lazily across his bare sides as his head lay on Sapnap’s soft chest.
“You’re lucky I love you so much.”
“Love you too, babygirl.”
Time is lost to him- he can’t remember when they’d started, what movie they were watching, whether they’d smoked or not- all he really cares about is Karl, Karl , Karl , wanting to just take him fully in his arms, the whole world there just for him to have.
And he can’t remember where he’d started placing kisses or when Sapnap had shifted to laying down, or when Karl had positioned himself on top of the boy.
“You’re not even watchin’ the movie,” he mumbles, words barely audible through his body that was high off of weed, sleep, and kisses.
“The movie ended fifteen minutes ago, baby,” he explains, leaning back to get a better look at Sapnap’s face, taking it in his hand.
He looks like a god, the violet glow of the room creating a halo around his body. His lips are slightly swollen from all the kisses, a sharp white highlight from the moisture making them look painted on his face. “Oh…” he breathes out, not being able to pay attention to anything else except for the angel in front of him.
“I distract you too much?”
“Mhm,” he hums, letting his eyes close as he brings Karl closer to him, arms hanging lazily around his neck and a hand enveloping his cheek as he kisses him softly.
“Sorry,” he adds with a small giggle, never sorry for making his boyfriend blush.
“You’re better than the movie anyway.”
And for what is probably the hundredth time that night, they descend back into their heaven of lazy kisses and the stinging scent of weed being the only thing they’re able to smell.
If it wasn’t obvious, Sapnap is endlessly, overwhelmingly, and so hopelessly in love with Karl Jacobs.
There isn’t a flaw in this boy. His soft lips, soft touch that never fails to make him melt, and soft skin that he so sweetly liked to show off in his lacy tank tops and short shorts.
Kissing him feels like a supernova.
A million stars between their lips explode, dissolving into a beautiful feeling that nothing else could possibly compare to.
So he lets himself be taken by Karl’s touch again, lips pliant under his, and hands lazily playing with his hair.
“You wanna sleep now?” He mumbles, lips brushing Karl’s.
“Your parents won’t be mad?”
“Only that I didn’t tell them, ‘cause now they can’t make some big fancy breakfast for you.”
“They don’t have to worry. I know you’ll do it for me,” he taunts.
“So I just do everything for you know? Roll your blunt, make you breakfast?”
“Mhm. Like I said, you’re a simp.” He kisses his lips. He’s right.
“I prefer hopelessly in love, thank you.” He tries aimlessly to save the small shred of dignity he still has, not caring in the slightest that he’s taking it from him without remorse.
“I don’t know how you survived this crush.”
“I didn’t. Look where I am now.”
“I thought you said we were goin’ to sleep?”
“Well we were, but then you had to remind me that I’m a s-“ he’s cut off by the boy’s lips to his, a small smirk gracing them. Fuck you for being so damn wonderful, Jacobs.
It almost puts him to sleep right then and there. His eyes flutter shut and a smile graces his lips, savoring the sweet taste that still lingers on his lips.
“Go to sleep. I’ll be here in the morning,” he mumbles against Sapnap’s lips. He repositioned his body so that he’s laying on top of him, head laid in the crook of his lover’s neck, hand slug across his chest, and legs intertwined under the sheets.
It’s just the two of them, high fading out and sugar numbing their brains.
“Goodnight baby. I love you."
“Love you too, darling,” he mumbles, a slight southern twang dripping off his tongue.
Words can’t describe how much he loves that boy.
Words are a fickle thing, said and forgotten, written and erased, carved and eroded. They never tend to last long, their meaning stripped by time.
But as weak as they are, Sapnap needs Karl to know how much he loves him, how wonderful he feels with him.
With Karl, Sapnap feels peace.
He feels calm, he feels safe. Everything seems to stop in a world moving 1,000 miles per hour, and he feels better than he’s ever remembered.
Every good grade on a test, every winning football game, and every successful code is nothing compared to Karl Jacobs, the soulmate chosen by the gods themselves.
He’s his sun, his moon, his stars, the only thing he wants to see when he wakes up, and the only person he wants to fall asleep next to.
In all honesty, he wants to spend the rest of his life with this boy.
He thinks it’s a little silly that he daydreams about their domestic life in a shitty little studio apartment while doing football drills, thinking about how wonderful it’s gonna be when they go to prom while all his other classmates complain about how nitpicky their girlfriends are about dresses and suits.
(He loves it. He loves hearing him ramble about contrast and how textures and materials affect the shade of the color.)
All is well because he has Karl in his arms, and he makes Sapnap feel what he thought was only described in old poems and 19th-century art.
He lays peacefully on top of him- they fit together like puzzle pieces, as they always have. Karl breathes softly, little noises escaping from him every once and a while. Sapnap doesn’t know where they come from, but he loves them. They’re endearing.
His head lays gently on Sapnap’s right pectoral, both hands under him and spread out across his shoulder blades. He doesn’t understand how it’s comfortable, but he’s not complaining.
And he holds him- he’d gladly hold him forever- and a hand brushes across his back no matter how tired his arm is.
He wants to give Karl the sun. His brain is for the most part too tired to think, but he knows one thing for sure-
He’s endlessly, hopelessly, wonderfully, perfectly, and proudly in love with Karl Jacobs.
He wouldn’t have it any other way.