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“What the fuck did you just say??” I hissed at the angel in front of me, my voice dangerously low.
His face remained expressionless, his tone emotionless. “I said I do not think you are fit to be a hunter.” He continued calmly. “You are impulsive and reckless, you will cause the Winchesters to get hurt. They trust you too much.“
"Fuck you.” I growled, slamming the book I had been studying shut and stalking out of the library.
I fumed as I walked angrily down the hallway to where the brothers kept all of their equipment.
I had been studying up on vampires, as we had found a nest of them nearby. We were going to head out as soon as they came back from their salt and burn on the other side of the state.
As soon as I entered the room, I started gathering the necessary things for killing vamps. I didn’t feel I had to prove my worth to him, no, I needed to let off some steam by myself and I couldn’t wait another day to for Sam and Dean to get back.
According to reports, it was just a handful of them anyways- strong but inexperienced newly-turned vamps. Nothing I couldn’t handle on my own. Most of them hadn’t even been bothered to try and hide the evidence of their kills, leaving them in plain sight to any passerby of the alleyway in which they had killed and fed.
I tossed the equipment in the backseat of my car, slamming the door shut with a little more force than necessary.
I arched and spun in a dance of anger and violence, slicing off vamps’ heads left and right as they took hesitant swipes and dives at me, unsure how a human was kicking their asses.
There had been a few more than I anticipated, but then, they were also a lot more inexperienced than I had thought too. They had been living an extremely sheltered life with a big, bustling city nearby as a food source- where it was easy to pick people off left and right and not sound too many alarms.
As I spun around to face the one I had sensed standing behind me, they flipped me over on my back, slamming me down hard into the ground. It winded me terribly and I thought I heard a sickening crack.
My eyes widened in surprise and pain as the vampire hovered over me, snarling. The others, the newborns, circled around, more of them appearing from the shadows.
Fuck. It had been a trap.
Another older vampire stepped out, the newborns parted to make way for him as I struggled to sit up.
I was met with a sharp kick to my chest, and this time I definitely heard something snap. I cried out, falling back down to the ground gasping and clutching at my chest.
I heard his footsteps draw near. I scrambled upright, barely ignoring the pain that blossomed in my chest, and shoved myself back until my back hit the wall. I uttered a low groan and squeezed my eyes shut.
I heard the vamp hiss right before I felt a light breeze in my face. I pried my eyes open to see her face inches from mine, her eyes blood red.
I held my ground, not shrinking back from her in fear. I met her gaze defiantly before spitting in her face. She grinned; a sick expression that twisted her features menacingly and showed off her fangs.
My stare was unwavering, as was hers, until the other vampire appeared behind her, snarling. Her grin grew even wider.
All of a sudden I felt a searing pain across my arm. I all but screamed out in agony. My arm was on fire. I felt hot blood run down onto my hand and drip off of my fingers.
I shakily reached for my concealed dagger with my other hand before she slashed my other arm, effectively rendering me helpless from pain alone. It felt like her nails were laced with some sort of venom, it burned so bad.
I heard the excited shrieks and snarls of the newborns, barely containing themselves at the smell of my blood. My vision wavered as I foggily evaluated my situation.
The chances I made it out of this alive were very..slim. Sam and Dean were on the other side of the state, there was no way they could get to me in time, and if I had to die I didn’t want them to know where I was or what had happened to me. They would feel guilty. I didn’t want that.
Being a hunter, I had accepted the fact that I would die much earlier than other people. I just didn’t think it would be like this. I had expected to go down fighting, at the very least, and not on some solo mission fueled by frustrations.
Another option suddenly appeared in my mind. Castiel. But was that really an option? Would he even listen to my prayer?
As my vision grew hazy and I felt my body fall limply to the side, I prayed to him. My desire to live, or at least not die in such a pathetic way, outweighed my distrust and ‘hatred’ towards the angel.
Truth be told, I had wanted to get to know him, after the Winchesters had first introduced us. We had even gotten along for the first few weeks. Then something in him just changed.
After coming back from a hunt with Sam and Dean, they had sustained some minor injuries. I, on the other hand, had gotten pretty badly beat up. All the demons had just seemed to focus on me.
Castiel had coldly healed up my injuries before turning away and not saying another word. “Cas?” I asked hesitantly. I had never seen the angel this pissed before, his jaw set as if he were stone.
He shook his head tensely before turning away from me. I heard a fluttering of wings and he was gone.
He had avoided me as much as he could after that. If we had to speak to each other, it was brisk and cold. A far contrast from how it was before.
A sharp hit to my ribs brought me back to my painful reality, my eyes flying open as I scrambled to press myself closer to the wall.
Even through the black dots that crowded my vision, I could see the newborns moving in closer and closer, barely containing their excitement.
The dots grew more prominent and my eyes fluttered shut. My body relaxed into the ground, accepting my fate as I desperately prayed to Cas one more time. My senses became muted.
I heard a faint screech from the female vamp followed by frantic steps and a whoosh.
She fell to the floor dead and her partner joined her soon after. The newborns scrambled away in a panic, darting off.
I flinched back into the wall as a figure approached me. My arms weakly found their way to my ribs as I clutched my middle as if that alone would protect my battered ribcage.I fought to keep my eyes open.
A large, warm hand rested lightly on my side. My eyes shot open as I gasped and struggled to push myself up with the last of my energy. My palms kept slipping in the pool of my own blood surrounding me on the floor. I whimpered when I fell back, jarring my ribs. My vision was too blurry to see who, or what, was in front of me.
I felt the hand on my side again but this time I didn’t fight them, I had no fight left in me. I felt them slip their arms underneath my limp form and I gasped in pain, weakly trying to push them away.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I heard a familiar deep voice reassure me. They held me close to their chest. I felt a tingling sensation dance across my skin, and soon they were striding forward. I didn’t remember much more than that before I blacked out completely.
I woke up, groaning as I propped myself up onto my forearms. As my vision came into focus, I found a very worried looking angel by my bedside.
“Cas?” I croaked out. I coughed.
He glanced up at me and I heard him utter something sarcastically in Enochian under his breath before he addressed me. “You’re awake.” He stated plainly.
So he was going to be like that. “No shit sherlock.” I growled out, propping myself up against the headboard. Although, I now realized, he had healed me, I was still incredibly weak. The small amount of movement drained me.
“No, it’s just- I-” He started.
“No, I get it.” I muttered. “I’m reckless. Sorry for calling on you, you shouldn’t have to clean up after my mistakes. I’ll just fucking die next time, yeah?” Fatigue forgotten, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, pushing myself to my feet.
I immediately swayed as I did so, a bout of dizziness hitting me like a brick wall. I stumbled.
Castiel immediately stood up and rushed to support me before I fell. I tore myself away from him, leaning unsteadily against the wall.
“I’m fine.” I snapped.
I sat back down on the bed, utterly exhausted from the small bit of exertion. I blinked hard to clear the dots in my sight, groaning as my head pounded. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I leaned sideways into the wall and groaned again, squeezing my eyes shut. Everything hurt and I felt like shit.
“Hey.” His voice was suddenly close, I forced my tired eyes open and almost jumped back when I realized his face was inches from mine.
He must have seen the surprise written across my face. He fell back into the chair by my bedside mumbling a “Sorry.”
I knew the apology was for more than just startling me.
I tiredly leaned back against the wall sighing. The room fell into a somewhat comfortable silence as my eyes drifted shut once again.
“I’m sorry.” He said again out of nowhere, breaking the quiet. I opened my eyes. He had a frown on his face as he stared down at the floor.
“I didn’t mean it. You’re a capable hunter, even more than that. That’s what..” He hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and continuing. “Scares me. It scares me.” He broke off with a sigh before glancing up to meet my eyes.
I saw nothing but concern in his icy gaze, along with something else I couldn’t quite place. No, it wasn’t that I couldn’t place it, it was just so foreign to see on his face, the heaviness of the emotion.
Affection.
“I think I care about you.” He frowned again, creasing his eyebrows and tearing his stare from me to direct it at where the wall met the floor. “No, I think I’m in love with you.” He said softly.
It surprised me, to say the least. Not because I didn’t return the feelings, no, because I had thought it was the other way around.
This time, I was the one who hesitated in shock. I saw the look on his face and before he could backpedal I asked, “Why this..now? After whatever I did to make you act like a dick to me these past few weeks."
"It wasn’t your fault.” He started hesitantly. “After that hunt, you remember?"
I nodded. "I realized how.. human you are. How fragile."
"I thought, by some poor judgment, if I could get you to believe you were a bad hunter, if I told you that you would eventually cause Sam and Dean to get hurt, that I could get you to quit.” I opened my mouth to say what a low blow that was, but before I could get any words out he shushed me.
“I now realize that was a terrible idea.” He raised his eyes to meet mine. They were full of genuine regret.
A heavy silence filled the room.
“I think I love you too.” I said quietly, eventually.
His gaze flickered up to mine.
“I forgive you, you know.” I added softly.
He leaned forward, taking me into his arms and giving me a gentle squeeze. It took me a second to process what was actually happening, but soon enough I wrapped my arms around him, clutching onto his trench coat for dear life as his large hand traced comforting circles on my back.
I sighed, relaxing into him as he pressed a timid kiss to my hair. I smiled up at him, leaning up to peck his lips.
A smile found its way onto his face as he leaned down to capture me back into another kiss, with so much affection it was almost overwhelming.
As we broke away, I leaned back into his chest as he rocked us back and forth. I shut my tired eyes. l sighed as his warmth surrounded me.
I heard him mumble the same Enochian phrase from earlier into my hair, but this time with a note of affection. I vaguely remember hearing him say that before, too. I had figured it was something of his version of a pet name, though I had never heard him call Sam or Dean that, or really anything in his language.
“What does that mean?” I asked sleepily.
He paused uncertainly for a second before responding. “It does not directly translate, but it means something similar to 'my love.’"