Work Text:
Click-clack. Click-clack.
Her heels echo sharply against the silent walls, each step resonating with the nervous energy surging through her veins.
Today is the day. Ganyu inhales deeply, trying to steady her racing heart. Today is the day.
Her gaze shifts to the small, intricately decorated box resting on her desk. Inside lies a leather bracelet, dyed dark with the colour of padisarahs. Two polished gems dangle from the straps—soft purple and deep red. Their colours. And at the center, a delicate silver clasp shaped like a qingxin in bloom, symbolic of her quiet devotion.
She exhales shakily. Ganyu had carefully tailored this gift with Beidou's adventures in mind. The craftsman had promised that it was strong enough to endure even a Lawachurl's strike.
"T-this is definitely a suitable courting gift!" Ganyu mutters to herself, her voice trembling and louder than she intended. The words bounce off the walls of the once-quiet room, and she winces at her own unsteady declaration. Her hand reaches for the box, quickly tucking it away. It's almost time.
Today is the day. Today is the day she will confess to Beidou.
---
Her determination did not last long.
"I'm sorry?"
Ganyu stands frozen before the Tianquan in her study. Beidou, who has just arrived in Liyue Harbour to hand in The Crux's quarterly report, lounges carelessly on the seat next to her. The tension in Ganyu's chest tightens.
"There's been a change of plans," Ningguang announces coolly, gratefully accepting the meeting docket from Ganyu. "Beidou will be joining me for the stakeholders' meeting."
"But Lady Ningguang!" Ganyu protests, her voice shaking with urgency. "The meeting is in an hour. Adding someone at the last minute will disturb the stakeholders. We cannot—"
"It's a reasonable gamble," Ningguang interrupts, barely glancing up, her fingers flipping through the docket. "It will benefit us to, as Beidou would say, rock the boat."
"Ha! You just want me there to sway them to your proposal on Inazuma exports," Beidou chimes in, grinning broadly. "But a gamble, ey? Guess that's what I like about you."
Ganyu's gaze flicks to Beidou, who is decked out in a sleek red and gold qipao—an unexpected yet captivating sight. The way it complements Beidou's sharp features... It's clear this outfit was designed just for her, tailor-made with care. Ganyu's heart sinks. Ningguang and Beidou must've planned this together. The garments were not something that could be furnished within an hour.
And then, something catches her eye.
A familiar gold chain around Beidou's left ankle. It glints in the light, adorned with delicate, flawless ginkgo leaves, their craftsmanship so intricate that Ganyu and Baishi had marveled at it last month.
The very same bracelet Ninguang wears on her right wrist.
Ganyu's chest tightens painfully. The leather bracelet she had carefully prepared for Beidou seems laughably inadequate, a poor comparison to the rich gold Beidou now wears.
Almost as laughable as the gap between Ganyu and the others—how she pales in comparison to—
Beidou smiles, interpreting her gaze as curiosity and oblivious to Ganyu's turmoil. "Pretty, ain't it? Ning'er gave it to me, but I never had a chance to wear it. Thought I'd sport it for today's luncheon."
Ningguang, eyes still on her report, quips with a hint of color creeping into her cheeks. "Wear it properly, at least."
But Beidou brushes it off with a lazy chuckle. "Make me."
So this is how it is.
How could Ganyu have been so blind?
Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Ganyu manages to keep her voice steady. "I'll make the necessary arrangements," she says, forcing the words out. "I wish you the best in your meeting, Lady Ningguang, Beidou."
"Of course." Ningguang's voice is crisp and dismissive as she returns to her work.
Beidou flashes her a rueful smile as Ganyu turns to leave. "That's our reliable Ganyu! Sorry we had to cancel our plans today—don't worry, I'll make it up to you. Promise."
The smile falls from Ganyu's face as soon as the door closes behind her. Beidou is kind to everyone, even someone like her. She is not special. She is just another friend to Beidou. A colleague, even.
Her heart shatters at the realization.
A breath she hadn't realized she was holding slips out shakily.
Ganyu is nothing more than a secretary. A half-adeptus who will never be good enough for the likes of Beidou. She doesn't have a domain of her own, no remarkable talent that sets her apart from others. She is merely a shadow of the greatness others possess.
Her insecurities weigh on her, drowning her.
Right. There's work to do. The stakeholders need to be updated.
---
"Ganyu! Secretary Ganyu!" A frantic voice calls her name, pulling her out of her spiraling thoughts. "I-I finally found you."
Ganyu looks up, startled, to see Baixiao rushing toward her, breath coming in sharp gasps. The setting sun paints the hallway in warm hues of orange and red, casting a soft glow over Ganyu's wilted figure.
The meeting with the stakeholders must be over by now.
Mortal time slips like sand. Ganyu chastises herself. She had wasted precious daylight and burdened others with her absence. How long had she been lost in her thoughts?
"What are you doing here?" Baixiao asks between quavery breaths. They are outside the impressive doors of Ningguang's study. Ganyu looks small under the arch. Wilted, even.. "We have been looking for you all afternoon."
Ganyu doesn't answer right away, lost in her thoughts again. Had she been waiting to catch a glimpse of Beidou when she returns with Ningguang? She pretends she didn't hear Baixiao's question.
"You were looking for me?" Ganyu finally asks, her voice distant as she stands up, smoothing the wrinkles in her skirt. The weight of the box in her pocket feels like a burden. "Please, take a moment to steady yourself, Baixiao."
Baixiao takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself. The secretaries had been frantic when they couldn't reach Ganyu. The general secretary had seemingly disappeared from the compound after she went out to escort Lady Ningguang and Ms. Beidou to the stakeholder meeting. "We need your help with some accounts," she begins. "But… are you okay? You don't look well."
"My apologies. I had some reservations to cancel." Ganyu replies with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, "What do you need my help with?"
Baixiao hesitates, biting her lip. "We all know how Lady Ningguang can be sometimes. Her perfectionism can get to you, but—"
"What accounts?" Ganyu's voice is sharper than she intends.
Baixiao flinches. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… The accounts for Guishan Holdings—they need an urgent audit. We've prepared the documents and need your help to vet them."
"Lead the way."
Her voice is steady now. She is needed. There is work to do.
---
In the quiet of the night, the lone girl in the office buries herself in her mountainous work, the occasional sound of her pen scratching across paper disturbing the stillness of the room. Ganyu sits alone in her office, the weight of the evening pressing down on her. Baixiao may have passed by her office to bid her farewell, but she did not notice.
The lone candlelight by her desk provides just enough light for her work. It flickers. Once. Twice. And it flickers out.
Ganyu blinks, snapping out of her number crunching.
Ah, she can't continue her work like this.
As she searches for her matchbox, her unoccupied mind drifts. What is Beidou doing right now? Did she enjoy the meeting? Was she—
No.
Is Beidou with Ningguang now?
The gift Ganyu had so carefully crafted still sits on her desk. Unopened. Unused.
A tear falls onto her papers, blurring the ink beneath it.
She would have to redo that.
She sighs, closing her eyes as more tears slip down her cheeks.
"Beidou." The words come out in a whisper, followed by another. And another. Until her vision is a blur. "I love you. I really do."
In the stillness of the night, the lone girl in the office weeps—mourning the love that can never be hers.
For her unattainable love.