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Carol saw things. She saw things, and she knew things.
That applied to every single person in their family now.
But especially that applied with Daryl. She wasn’t blind to what was going on between Rick and him, because there was something going on.
But she knows Daryl well enough to know what isn’t going on, and that seems to be the part that the others weren’t understanding.
They’re walking on the road, exhausted. The sun is making it hard to see, and also hard to breathe, and also hard to get any chance to cool down at all.
She finds herself walking beside Glenn, with Maggie on his other side.
Glenn breaks the mutual silence. “Are Rick and Daryl… you know?” He asks her, turning his head to face her properly. It makes her realise that he’s being serious.
Carol gives him a look. “Why on earth do you say that?” She asks.
Glenn looks at her like it’s obvious. Like she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She does know, she just isn’t stupid. “They’ve been closer than normal. Sometimes they just disappear together for a while. You don’t remember that time that they both disappeared one night and didn’t come back until like, late morning? Is that not the assumption we’re supposed to make from that?” Glenn asks, arms thrown out in a defensive gesture, almost asking Maggie to back him up.
“I don’t think we’re supposed to be making any assumptions.” Carol supplies. She watches as Glenn thinks about it for a second.
“Okay, sure.” He agrees with a nod. “But like, you have to admit, it’s a little weird, right? Not like, that’s not, it wouldn’t be weird, I don’t mean it like that, I just mean-”
Maggie cuts him off. “Nobody thinks you’re homophobic, Glenn.” She says, rolling her eyes. A small smile has made its way onto her features and Carol is grateful for it. Maggie’s smiles have been incredibly few and far between, and she’s glad that Glenn can put one on her face. Even if it is out of his own rambling stupidity.
“Well for the record, no, I don’t think that Rick and Daryl are sneaking off to have sex.” Carol says, bringing them back to Glenn’s question.
She catches the slight blush on Glenn’s face. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again. Probably for the best.
Tara catches up to them not long after, and then the question is pushed to the back of everyone’s minds. Forgotten. How it should be.
-------
It’s probably just after midday. The group had stopped for a rest, with a couple of people going out as a group to look for supplies.
She approaches Daryl, who’s sitting and fiddling with his crossbow, once again.
“Daryl, can we talk?”
She gets no response. He’d been more quiet than usual today. She sighs, he won’t like what she has to say, but she needs to say it. Quietly, she starts talking to him.
“Beth told me something. At the hospital, not long before you all turned up.” He goes completely tense, still. Stunned in fear, she guesses. “I don’t know what I thought, I don’t know if I thought I dreamt the whole conversation, or if I thought she was lying, or that she didn’t know what she was talking about. I don’t know if I believed her or not.” She shrugs, even though Daryl can’t see it, staring at the ground.
She can see his hands shaking.
“I know what I think now though, and-” Before she gets the chance to say anything more, Daryl is standing up, quickly walking away from her, and snagging his crossbow on the way. He heads past trees, towards an open area that had already been scouted out.
“Daryl.” She calls as she follows him. She hadn’t seen this from him in a very long time. Actively running away from any of them, instead of just ignoring them.
She catches up to him, cutting him off as she stands directly in front of him. She sees the teary eyes and realises that it isn’t entirely anger that he’s feeling. In one way it’s almost a relief. The reaction only solidifies what she knows.
“What do you want me to say?” He asks, clearly trying to sound angry, threatening, but not pulling it off, not in the slightest. His voice cracks on the last word, as he shrugs.
“I don’t want you to say anything, I just.” She watches as he looks down at the ground, tugging his crossbow tighter against his shoulder. “I just want you to know that it’s okay.” She says, hoping he knows what she means by it.
“None of it’s okay.” He mumbles, brushing past her, and walking further away.
“Don’t do this.” She calls. He stops walking, but makes no move to go back towards Carol. She makes her way closer to him. Once she’s walked around to face him again, she can see how he’s biting his lip, and how his hands are shaking.
She sighs sympathetically, reaching up on her tip toes and gently pressing a kiss to his forehead. She keeps her hands resting on either side of his head after she drops back down to her normal height. His chin trembles, and he squeezes his eyes shut for a second, sniffling.
“Come sit with me?” She asks. He opens his eyes, glossy, but he clearly swallows down the urge to cry, because then he nods, still biting his lip but looking calmer.
Carol takes the lead, walking ahead of him. Eventually she finds a log and deems it a good enough spot. She’s sure that anywhere away from the others was a good enough spot for him, though.
They sit together in silence for a few minutes. Carol hopes that he might be able to get comfortable enough in the environment before talking. That it might help to calm his nerves a little. She thinks that it must be smarter to wait for him to make the first move.
“What-” He sighs, looking around, then down at the ground, then towards her. “What did she say?” He asks, voice barely holding back from cracking.
“She told me what she knew, but I have a feeling that she didn’t know a lot.” Carol answers, not unkindly. Factually. It gives him the choice to talk about it if he wants. She thinks that he wants to, but she isn’t completely sure. She doesn’t doubt that it’s a scary topic.
Daryl shrugs, shaking his head to try and get his hair out of his eyes. “What do you want me to say?” He asks again.
“Only what you want to.” She answers, hoping that he can tell that there isn’t any pressure on him. Not from her.
He looks down, staring at the ground, as he shuffles his feet. “Sometimes I feel like a little kid.” He says, like he’s admitting to a crime.
“Yeah?” She prompts. Now that she was actually thinking about it, none of it seemed hard to picture. It didn’t seem weird for him, certainly not in her eyes.
He nods, still staring at the ground. “Get into a headspace, jus’ feel little.” He mumbles, kicking at some sticks.
“That’s sweet, Daryl.” Carol says, smile tugging at her lips. She watches as his eyebrows furrow, and he blinks in confusion.
"Nah, don’t say that." He says, like he’s caught off guard by the words. It makes the whole thing a lot sweeter, from her perspective, but she doesn’t want to draw attention to that.
"it’s very sweet." She replies, smiling unapologetically. She doesn’t care if it makes him embarrassed.
Daryl sits awkwardly, clearly not knowing what to say next.
“How much does Rick know?” She asks softly, because she figures that he must know something. She wasn’t an idiot, and she wasn’t blind.
Daryl shrugs, his demeanour becoming more tense, anxious. “‘s hard to tell him.”
“How so?” Carol hums, trying to piece together the story, based on Daryl’s body language. Thankfully he’s never really been one to hide anything from her, especially if she was asking.
“I wanna talk to him, but-” He says, like he’s doing his best to convince her. She wouldn’t doubt the statement in the first place, which leads her to believe that there’s some clear guilt here. He looks around at their surroundings. “Maybe he only wants to help now ‘cause he doesn’t know what he’s getting in for. ‘s selfish to ask him to-” He scrunches up his nose, eyebrows furrowed. “-look after me.”
Carol thinks about what he’s saying. Softly, she asks, “Are you scared that he’s going to decide he doesn’t want to help you, the way he does now, if you tell him everything?” Daryl does something in between a shrug and a nod. It’s just about the closest thing to a ‘Yes’ that she’s ever going to get. She leans in closer to him, trying to make eye contact.
“I don’t think that there is anything that could stop him from caring about you.” She says earnestly. “And I don’t think that he could ever hold back if he knew that you wanted that.”
Daryl looks conflicted. “Don’ want him to do anythin’ ‘cause he thinks he has to, ‘cause of what I want. It’s-”
She stops him in his tracks. “You’re not selfish, Daryl. I think you’re the least selfish person I’ve met. And for the most part, I think that Rick wants whatever you want. Have you ever known him to do something that he hasn’t felt was right?” Daryl lets out a quiet exhale, reluctantly shaking his head a little.
“And besides, he’s never not a dad. He’s practically claimed Tara as a daughter. He likes looking after people, you know that.” She says, watching him closely. He fiddles anxiously.
He’s quiet for a few more minutes. “Had a fight.” He admits softly.
“With Rick?”
Daryl nods. “Told him I wish I’d never said anything to him, and he should just forget it all.”
Carol nods slowly, taking the information in. “Why did you say that?” Because she’s never going to believe that Daryl says things like that without a reason. There’s always a reason.
He turns to look at her, his eyes shiny with unshed tears, seemingly coming out of nowhere. “He just wants to help.” He shakes his head in an almost desperate sense. “He’s done everything right and I’ve been a dick to him.” He rushes out. “I’m ruining everything, and I don’t know how to fix any of it, and he doesn’t deserve any of this shit.” A tear finally falls down his cheek, and he breathes in unsteadily.
Carol moves closer, and hugs the archer tightly. She runs a hand up and down his back. “Hey.” She soothes quietly. “Slow down. You’re okay.” His breath hitches once more, and he shakes his head against her shoulder, mumbling something incoherent.
“Daryl.” She says, kind but firm, pushing him away from her to get his attention. “Slow down. What’s going on.”
“I keep making everythin’ worse, nothin’s working and I’m making him mad. But he should be mad because I’ve been a problem, but I can’t fix it.” Tears fall slowly down his cheeks. He starts picking at the skin on one of his fingers.
“Rick cares about you, a lot. If he’s mad, it’s probably because he doesn’t know what to do to help you, especially if he can tell that you’re not okay.” Carol states. “You said that you want to talk to him, right? I know that that must be scary to talk about, but trust me, he is never going to care any less about you, not for anything like this.”
“But what if I’m too much?” Daryl whispers.
“I don’t think you can be, Daryl. But if you are, then I’m sure that he would tell you, and he would take a break, until he felt like he could help you again. He’s never going to abandon you.” She says, then tilts her head, smiling a little. “Come on now, he loves you.”
Daryl bites his lip, slight blush making its way onto his face, and he ducks his head, hiding behind his hair.
She pulls him into another hug, while he’s being pliant enough to allow it.
“You need to talk to him, and he needs to talk to you, and you both need to sort this out because neither of you are going to be okay if you don’t.” Daryl nods. “And if, in the very, -” She squeezes him tighter. “-very off chance that he wants to be an asshole about it, then you tell me, and I’ll kick his ass, okay?” Daryl pulls away from her with a small, but genuine smile, and brings his thumbnail up to his mouth to chew on it.
She stands up, seeing him shyly watch her. She walks to the front of him, holding both her hands out, to pull him up.
He sits, tilting his head with a halfway amused, and sceptical look, before he rolls his eyes and grabs her hands. She doesn’t pull him up as much as he stands up on his own, but there’s some sort of unspoken gratefulness between them.
“You gonna come back with me, or stay out here?” She asks softly.
Daryl looks around at their surroundings before turning back to her. “Gonna see if there’s anything to track, first.”
“Okay. We’ll probably start moving again soon.”
He nods. “I’ll make sure I’m heading in the right direction.”
“Good,” She smiles. “I’m not coming back out here if you get lost, and you know that Rick can’t track.” She says, as she starts walking away, teasing a little.
“Yeah, very funny.” Daryl mumbles, but she catches his shy smile, as they part ways.
When she gets back to where they’d been resting, the first person who she makes eye contact with is Rick. It’s accidental, but it happens. He looks at her a little questioningly.
These two. She thinks, incredulously. Still, she walks towards Rick, and notifies him that Daryl’s doing his own thing, and Rick looks a little frustrated. It makes her a little frustrated at him, but she doesn’t let that show.
She’s always going to back Daryl, but she doesn’t doubt that he’s not been getting himself in a good situation with this.
They can sort it out themselves though, she’s sure. Even if Daryl needs a little push from her every now and then.