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Asmo chided himself for picking at his nails again.
He loved looking perfect.
He needed to look perfect.
The slightest mistake always ticked him off.
But being anxious didn’t help.
He felt stupid; Asmodeus, the avatar of lust, self-conscious of how he looks?
Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
And yet here he was, picking away at his nails, chipping his nail polish.
He decided enough is enough, and walked straight to Levi’s room, and entered without knocking.
“Wha- what the fuck? Can you knock at least? What if I was in the middle of a stream?” Levi asked, annoyed. He was sitting inside his bathtub, playing a game on his Devil Switch with headphones on.
“Levi, you crossdress, right?” Asmo asked deadpan.
Levi stared at him with a How-the-fuck-do-you-know-that face.
“...I cosplay female characters, there’s a difference-” Levi started saying but Asmo cut him off.
“Yeah yeah. I just want to ask,” Asmo fiddled with his fingers. Levi sat up straighter, noticing the anxiety Asmo was radiating, “how do you… go around… wearing a skirt with no… problems?”
Levi tilted his head, waiting for an explanation. Asmo picked at his nails again.
Levi simply stared at him till he cracked under the pressure.
“I want to wear a skirt to RAD ok? Jeez,” Asmo huffed and crossed his arms.
“...And…?”
“What do you mean “and”?”
“What’s the problem?”
“What’s the problem- what if I look weird?”
Levi’s eyes widened slightly.
“What if I don’t look good, or I look too good I get detention? Or what if Lucifer gets mad at me, or if the others will think that’s too strange! Ahhhh! I hate having the best outfits and not being able to wear them!” Asmo whined.
“Why don’t you wear skirts to clubs then?” Levi asked, confused.
“Because…” Asmo looked away.
“Go on…”
“...Ugh, because what if one of you thinks it’s wrong?” Asmo turned away, biting at his bottom lip.
“Who… do you think would say something like that-”
“I don’t know Levi! That’s why I am asking you how you do it!”
“Well, most times I imagine I’m someone else,” Levi scratched his head.
Asmo quirked his eyebrow. Levi sighed.
“I roleplay the character I’m cosplaying to embody that character more,” Levi explained.
“And how would that help me?”
“I don’t know, go…. roleplay as the version of yourself that doesn’t mind wearing a skirt in public… fucking normies and their normie problems,” Levi whispered the last part to himself.
But apparently that was the advice that Asmo needed.
“Be the version of myself that doesn’t mind wearing a skirt in public… Oh you’re a genius Levi!"
"Gah! Don't hug me out of nowhere!"
"Ah but, if I do this, then I would be too hot-“
“Get out.”
This renowned confidence in himself made him believe he could handle anything.
" Great! Now I just need to think about what to wear! Oh Asmo, you sexy devil! " Asmo thought to himself.
This renowned confidence didn't do much for when he was actually prepared to go out with a dress on.
He looked around the corners of the house, scurrying away at each noise.
He was mentally prepared for any looks the other demons could give him if he went to a club, but not if it were his brothers'.
The thought of them looking at him with disgust made him almost run away, but he stood his ground. He was going out whilst wearing a leather jacket, a cute dress, high heels and that was final.
"What are you doing?"
Asmo yelped and turned around looking for the voice.
Satan stood behind him with a quirked eyebrow, a book closed in his hand.
Asmo didn't hear him, he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to worry about someone sneaking up on him.
"O-oh hey Satan! Wha-what brings you here?" Asmo quickly took off his jacket and tried to cover himself as much as possible.
"... I live here Asmo," Satan said slowly, looking at Asmo confused.
"Ah… yeah… Well! This was fun! We should talk later! Bye-"
"What are you hiding?"
Asmo stopped dead in his tracks.
Satan walked closer to him, eyeing the leather jacket suspiciously.
Asmo gripped it tightly.
" Nonono, you weren't supposed to see me, please go away please go away " Asmo thought desperately.
"Well? Out with it," Satan looked down on him, waiting for an answer.
Asmo took in deep breaths, and accepted that what will happen, will happen.
He pulled away his leather jacket, revealing clearly that what he was wearing was a pink dress.
Satan stared at him. Asmo looked away with his eyes closed, prepared for any comment.
"... That's it?"
Asmo opened his eyes.
"What?" Asmo turned to look at him.
Satan was looking at his leather jacket, seemingly trying to inspect it by eye alone.
"I thought you were hiding something, you were holding that leather jacket too closely and acted very suspicious," Satan looked at Asmo directly, who was looking at him just as, if not even more, confused.
"What?" Satan asked after a moment of staring.
"You're not going to comment on what I'm wearing?" Asmo pulled at his dress.
"Why… should I?" Satan quirked an eyebrow.
"Because it's a dress."
"Yes, I can see that."
"I'm a guy."
"Yeah, I know that perfectly."
"I'm a guy wearing a dress."
"Why are you stating the obvious? What do you want me to do with that information? Tell you " Wow Asmo you look so good !" or what?" Satan asked, irritated.
“…You’re not going to say it’s weird?” Asmo stopped pulling at his dress.
Satan quirked his eyebrow.
“No? Why would I-“ in an instant Satan frowned, “did someone say something to you? Who was it? Do I know them? When I find them I fucking swe-“
"I thought you would say it's weird or wrong."
Satan stopped talking, and turned to look at Asmo with a blank expression.
He blinked. Then he blinked again. And again.
"Excuse me. Haha, I didn't hear you. What? "
Satan had an empty smile on his face, thinking it was a joke.
Asmo just looked away, smoothing out any wrinkles on his dress.
"Asmo," Satan dropped the smile, his face and tone serious, "what did you mean by say it's weird or wrong?"
"... You tend to make fun of Levi when he wears dresses…" Asmo whispered "I figured if I were to wear a dress, it would be the same."
"I-!" Satan almost yelled indignantly at the accusation, but realized he couldn't let his emotions get the best of him. "We don't make fun of Levi for wearing dresses, we make fun of him cosplaying, there's a difference."
"It's practically the same," Asmo refuted.
"No, it's not. I really don't give a flying fuck about what you wear, what any of you wear, for that matter. Well. Except if it's Lucifer."
Upon hearing the name, Asmo freezed.
Satan noticed, and his expression darkened.
"Was it him? Did he say something?" Satan said with venom in his tone.
"No, he didn't-"
"Like hell he didn't. That arrogant self-centered traditional apathetic asshole. I swear to Diavolo when I see him I will-"
"He never said anything!"
"Then?"
"I just…" Asmo looked at his foot, tapping the tip of his shoe.
"You just?"
"I'm just… afraid… to disappoint him."
Asmo isn't tall. He is the second smallest. Satan isn't that tall either. He didn't have to look down much to look at Asmo, nor did Asmo have to look up at Satan that much.
But at that moment, Asmo looked so small.
His not truly younger brother seemed fragile and vulnerable, ready to break at the slightest tone change.
Satan breathed deeply, calming himself down, and thought.
He had Lucifer's memories and feelings, even if he didn't want them.
Lucifer never had any discontent or discomfort around that sort of thing. Nor did he have any thoughts that showed he was against it.
He remembered back to when Lucifer had to crossdress, and he never held any particular ill will to it. He just hated having to wear something he didn't like to use.
"Asmodeus," Satan said slowly, "Lucifer wouldn't feel disappointed, disgusted or angry."
"But-!"
"No, listen to me. You know Lucifer, and I know Lucifer better than anyone," Satan suppressed his disgust at that fact, "and I know that he wouldn't feel any ounce of ill will towards you."
"And Mammon?"
"He dressed up as a maid just so Levi would have the guts to go to a maid cafe."
"Belphie?"
"He cosplayed Ruri Hana because Levi wanted to and he didn't mind."
"Beel?"
Satan gave him an "Are you serious?" face.
"You never know! Beel tends to say and do things that are surprising to us!"
"Beel cares about this family more than anything else in this world, he would never do anything to hurt or shame us."
"... And you?"
Satan rested a hand on Asmo's shoulder.
"I wouldn't be here comforting my brother now, would I?"
Without thinking about it, Asmo hugged Satan.
"Thank you Tanny," Asmo whispered, squeezing Satan closer.
"Now," Satan pulled Asmo back, "what club are you going to?"
"Oh? Do you want to come with?"
"I don't see why not, I haven't been to one in a while."
"Fufufu, Satan going to a club? Ah, but not with those clothes."
"But-"
"No buts! I won't have a brother of mine dress so unfavorably."
"Now hold on-"
"No time to waste! I already have the perfect color combination, I just need to test it!"
"Asmo-"
"Come on!"
The hallways filled with laughter as Asmo pushed Satan to his room to change.
"Leviathan… just what are you wearing?"
Asmo heard Lucifer say from the living room.
He stood up and went to look.
Levi was wearing a cosplay, a rather revealing one at that.
Thigh high stockings with a very short miniskirt and platform boots. A skin tight crop top with a cleavage hole. Asmo assumed Levi was using fake boobs because last time he checked, Levi wasn't a G cup. He wore a black cape with a very pretty design. It looked like a maid dress cut in half. In his hand laid a baby blue wig.
"Ah! Lucifer!" Levi jumped at his voice.
From the place Asmo was standing he couldn't see Lucifer's face, but could see clear as day Levi's.
A sense of dread filled Asmo.
Was this the confirmation Asmo needed?
Was his suspicion correct?
"Yo Lucife- Oh! Levi! What are you wearing?"
Mammon walked up behind Asmo, and went straight to Levi.
"I'm wearing Himeno-tan from SisterxServant Demonic Contract S ," Levi said with a deadpan tone.
"Oh…is that from one of your anime?" Mammon quirked an eyebrow.
"What? No," Levi looked properly appalled," it's from an eroge game."
"Eroge?" Lucifer and Mammon said at the same time.
Levi groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Eroge is a game where you get to see girls underwear and such."
"What!?" Lucifer sounded absolutely stunned.
"You play those sort of games?" Mammon sounded pretty intrigued by this new information.
"Well, yeah, I saw the great reviews and amazing outfits, I couldn't say no! Besides, Himeno-tan is the greatest example of gap-moe! Ahhh, everytime I remember her scenes it makes me blush! She goes from totally cold hearted to a softie! It's the absolute best! Not to mention her amazing backstory! When the game showed how her master basically used her boobs as-"
"It has sex scenes!?" Lucifer staggered a bit
"Yeah? Many eroges have that, anyway-"
"You into some weird shit Levi, " Mammon mumbled.
"Hey!" Levi didn't really deny it.
"And why are you dressing up as her?" To Asmo, Lucifer's tone sounded somewhat judgemental.
"Because I like her, why else?"
"Well, she does have good tits," Mammon poked Levi's fake boobs.
"Hey, no touching," Levi swatted his hand away, " but thanks, I worried they wouldn't look realistic enough."
"What are you-" Satan walked in and paused when he saw Levi, "nice tits."
"Thank you!"
Lucifer turned to look at Satan, an annoyed expression on his face.
Belphie and Beel walked up after Satan. Beel was carrying Belphie on his back while eating two cookies.
"Hm? Why is everyone here?" Beel asked between bites.
"Oh!" Belphie started. "Levi, I see you have decided to come out-"
" For the last time I'm not trans, I'm a crossdressing cosplayer ," Levi said.
"Hm, if you say so," Belphie yawned.
"Where are you going dressed up like that anyway?" Asmo spoke up.
"A video game convention, the seiyuus for the videogame are going to be there!" Levi jumped up and down in excitement.
"You are going out like that?" Asmo could hear what Lucifer left out in his question.
Going out like a girl? Aren't you a man?
"Uh, yeah?" Levi said as if he was stating an obvious fact.
"With a short miniskirt?"
"That's the cosplay, I can't change it."
"Isn't there another character you like?"
"They're all equally as revealing and girly Lucifer."
"Leviathan."
Levi glanced away and looked at Asmo for a bit. He looked back at Lucifer with a certain spark in his eyes.
Without breaking eye contact, he raised his skirt higher.
Satan sputtered into laughter alongside Belphie.
Mammon's eyes widened but snickered at the end.
Beel didn't care.
"Leviathan-"
"What?"
"... Did you have to do that?"
"Well Himeno-tan tends to have a more short skirt. I do have to check, are these real enough?" Levi grabbed his fake boobs and bounced them.
Mammon laughed alongside Satan and Belphie this time. Beel just chuckled at Lucifer's shocked expression.
Asmo couldn't help but chuckle too.
"Leviathan just what are you doing-"
"Practicing."
"Practicing?"
"Yeah! Himeno-tan has done similar things! Although if I really want to get in the headspace of her I have to act like her. Do you reckon I should scream "Oh master!" or the name of whoever is taking a picture with me-"
" Leviathan! "
Everyone was outright laughing. Levi looked at Asmo, and smiled to himself seeing his relaxed expression.
"What? What's the problem with me going out this way?" Levi asked whilst still playing with his boobs.
"Because… what if… something… STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR CHEST!"
Levi stopped immediately.
Lucifer sighed and continued.
"Because what if something happens to you? You're dressed too revealingly."
"I have cosplayed more revealing outfits than this."
"You… what?"
"Yeah! Man that one of Chika-"
"Leviathan."
"Y-yes?"
"This is not something to joke about. What if something happens to you?"
"Lucifer."
"Yes?"
"I know I'm weak and useless but come on."
"No that's not what I-"
"I think I'm capable of taking on a few humans."
"Levi- ah. Do whatever you want."
Lucifer walked away with an annoyed, defeated and concerned expression.
Everyone else was laughing their lungs out.
Levi grabbed a bag from the living room and walked out.
Asmo followed him, and saw how Levi fell to the ground.
"Haaaahh," Levi let out a shaky breath. Asmo could see him trembling, "I can't believe I stood up to Lucifer and did that, oh I am so dead. So very dead."
"Levi," Asmo called out. Levi shrieked. He turned towards him and relaxed when he saw who it was.
"Y-yeah?"
"...Thank you."
Levi stopped trembling.
A moment of silence passed.
Asmo couldn't decipher what Levi's expression meant.
He stood up and walked up to Asmo.
"You're welcome, but! Now you owe me going out in cosplay with me!"
Levi heel turned and walked away, grabbing from his bag a lipstick and applying it.
Asmo felt, for the first time in a long while, admiration for his older brother.
Asmo stared at the RAD skirt uniform on his bed.
He had thanked Solomon profusely for getting it for him.
Asmo hyped himself up for this.
He was going to wear a skirt to RAD.
Asmo changed clothes and slowly put on the skirt, in disbelief of what he was doing.
He was going to do it.
But first he had to get past his brothers.
He already knew that Levi and Satan wouldn't say anything. And would most likely defend him.
He was worried about everyone else.
He looked at himself in the mirror.
He was hot.
The skirt showed his long soft legs. It showed off his curves in a fitted and nice way. And when he twirled it followed him.
He loved it.
He loved how he looked.
He put on heels, breathed in, and walked towards the dining room.
With each step his gut felt heavier and heavier. He arrived at the doors for the dining room. He could hear all his brothers talking and eating.
He opened the doors slowly, his whole body shaking.
"You're late. Hurry up and eat," Lucifer's voice called out to him.
Asmo nodded and went over to the table, feeling a couple of looks his way.
He was about to sit down next to Satan, when Mammon spoke up.
"Hey, Asmo, what do you think you're doing?"
Asmo froze.
"What?" Asmo asked, gripping Satan's chair for support.
"It's cold, go wear some tights," Mammon said with a judgemental look as he shivered again.
"No one is as much as a bitch as you Mammon," Levi dismissed as he continued to play on his phone, "ah fuck I died again."
"Shut up!" Was the only thing Mammon could say in his defense.
"... So I have two sist-" Belphie started but got immediately cut off by Levi.
"Belphegor."
"Yeah?"
"My dear little brother."
"Yes?"
"Only because someone wears skirts does not mean they are a woman. Guys and non binary people can wear skirts too."
"... You two do tend to-"
"Drag queens act as women because it's their goddamn job, and I enjoy acting as the person I am cosplaying. Don't assume Asmo is a woman if he hasn't said so himself, either."
"Hm, " Belphie yawned and went back to sleep.
Asmo let go of his grip on Satan's chair, feeling somewhat better.
"Asmodeus," Lucifer's voice made Asmo jump.
"Y-yes?"
"Come here."
Slowly and slightly trembling he went over to Lucifer.
He glanced at Satan.
He looked ready to intervene.
"Don't you know the rules?" Lucifer asked, looking at Asmo.
"What do you-"
"Heels can only be two inches, not four."
Asmo blinked.
"...What?"
"You heard me already. Go and change," Lucifer went back to his food.
Asmo stood in shock for a few seconds, before going back to his room and changing shoes. He went back and ate his breakfast, unable to process what had just happened.
As he was about to leave, Beel spoke.
"Nice skirt," Beel complimented, a sweet smile on his face.
That's when it sunk in.
His brothers didn't care one bit that he wore a skirt.
They wouldn't think ill of him.
They loved him.
"Thank you!" Asmo beamed.
Lucifer knocked on Asmo's door.
"May I come in?"
"Yes!" Asmo sing-songed.
Lucifer entered Asmo's room.
Asmo was in front of his mirror touching up his makeup.
"What is it brother dear?" Asmo asked sweetly.
"I heard you thought I would have a problem with you wearing a dress or skirt."
Asmo stopped. He put down his makeup.
"Oh."
"Mind telling me why you thought that?"
Asmo fiddled with his brush.
Lucifer sat down on his bed, patiently waiting for Asmo to start.
“You tend to be… traditional… and judgemental,” Asmo said slowly, looking everywhere but at Lucifer or the mirror, “you sometimes… say mean things to us… about the things we like or… things we can’t control.”
Asmo couldn’t dare to look at Lucifer’s expression.
“And I thought… you wouldn’t like it that I dress differently from what a man would wear, I mean… you act that way towards Levi.
And sometimes… it’s hard… to know what you think. You are so supportive of us at times but then you hold these… unspoken expectations and get so disappointed in us for not meeting them when we had no idea about them.
And I love you, because you’re my big brother and I care about what you think. But I wish I knew how to make you proud, instead of guessing all the time because you don’t talk to us.
I want to be myself around you. I want you to love me for who I am. But… I don’t know if you will. And I hate thinking that. I hate it. I hate it so much.”
Asmo sniffled quietly to himself. His voice cracked with each sentence. Tears dripped down his cheeks more and more.
His body shook with each sob he failed to suppress.
Lucifer hugged Asmo from behind.
He let himself be held.
He let himself cry without holding back.
He let himself feel safe in the arms of his older brother.
He let himself be loved.
“I don’t want you to hate me,” Asmo wept, “I don’t want you to stop loving me.”
Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride, swallowed any instance of rejection towards his brother.
He might never understand him fully. He has never understood any of his brothers.
But as he gripped his hold on him tighter, closing his eyes in the process, he let the love he felt for them guide him.
And Asmo felt safe and loved, wearing what felt right for the first time in years.