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Tim had a list. Something he had started back when he was little and as he grew, the list grew with him. It started off as just a mental list. Things that he had to remember. Such as
- Young Tim’s Mental List Of Things To Never Forget:
- Smile. Mother likes it when I smile.
- Be the perfect son they want me to be.
- Good grades are the expectation, being behind is beneath me.
There were a few other things, but those were the most important to Tim. And as Tim grew, the list grew so big that eventually, when out and about, he ran into a nearby craft store and bought a lined notebook. The notebook soon became Tim’s Lists. That’s what was written on the cover and to anyone else, it would look like the average teen’s list of things to do. No one would ever suspect that it was a neglected teen's list’s of things he thought he did right and what he thought he could improve on to get his parent’s approval.
By age thirteen, Tim’s List’s notebook had grown from the first few pages to nearly the whole one-hundred-page notebook of things he can do to improve and stay ahead of his parent’s wishes. The lists now included things like:
- Smile more. Mother and Father don’t like it when I frown.
- Don’t smile too wide, it shows off my imperfect teeth.
- Eat, but don’t eat too much.
- Be prepared to discuss their last dig with them.
- Never ask for anything.
- Never raise your voice.
- Always look them in the eyes
- Get the highest possible grades, failure is not an option.
- Expect anything.
- Never mention spending time with the Waynes.
The list was longer than that. That was a compiled list of Things To Do, Things To Improve, Things To Mention, Pros of Having Me In Their Lives, and Cons of Having Me In Their Lives. But Tim was happy with the lists and kept building the lists. When he felt he had mastered a skill, he would cross it off. He had only ever crossed off two things in the notebook. Everything else still needed work.
After his parent’s unfortunate demise a few months after he turned thirteen, Tim expected to be thrown into the foster care system. To his shock, Bruce volunteered to be his foster parent. Of course, Tim knew that was temporary. He couldn’t be Robin from an orphanage. He was simply needed until Bruce found a better replacement for the replacement Robin. After all, Bruce didn’t need Tim. He just got Jason back. There was no need for Tim to be around anymore.
So when Tim was given a few minutes to gather a single bag of things to take with him to the Wayne’s house, he made sure he stuffed his List’s notebook into his bag, along with a change of clothes next to his school supplies, since he needed his school stuff, so it only made sense that he brought his backpack with him. He was dumped at Bruce’s house and after excusing himself to the guest room where he was staying, TIm opened the journal and started a new list.
Things To Remember When With the Wayne Family:
- Look them in the eyes
- Don’t use first names
- Don’t intrude
- Be quiet
- Never make a fuss
- Figure things out on my own
The list grew as Tim grew further away from his foster family. Jason had just rejoined the family, so Bruce and Dick were thoroughly distracted and didn't notice when Tim left the house at 5:30 to walk to the bus stop to get to school. They didn’t notice when he didn’t join them at dinner. They didn’t notice when the holidays came around and Tim stayed cooped up in his room as the small family grew to include Damian, who Tim figured to soon be his replacement.
Do not bother anyone, they are being generous by letting you stay.
Do not retaliate against whatever anyone says. Nobody likes a backtalker.
Remember: you are not family.
Soon, Tim’s list grew to nearly the whole book and soon he was down to his last page. Tim used some of the money he had left since he still bought everyone presents even if his special one couldn’t be done until Christmas Eve, and bought himself another notebook. He labeled it Tim’s List’s pt. 2. And soon, the pages were being filled yet again with things that Tim had to remember and practice to make sure he remained Bruce’s foster child.
By Veteran’s Day, Tim had stopped joining the family for anything altogether, and they stopped making their pathetic attempts to get him to join them. Alfred would leave plates outside of Tim’s door, and the teen would pull them in only to dump the food down the toilet. His parents never wanted him to eat much anyway, so he always remained the same weight. But skipping meals came with losing weight, something that Tim had known would come sooner or later, but was surprisingly happy when the number on the scale started to slowly dip. For the first time in his life, Tim felt like he had control over something, and he loved it. Thanksgiving came with Tim not being thankful for much. He spent the day reviewing his lists and fixing a few so they were perfect like he was meant to be. He went to bed early and almost cried when someone dared knock on his door.
“Timothy? Our Brothers say that you do not enjoy social interaction, but I would much appreciate getting to know you. Would you care to join us for Thanksgiving dinner? I hear that Alfred makes a delectable chocolate pie for dessert.” Damian. It was Damian at his door. Tim hadn’t actually met the child yet. He had seen pictures online but he hadn’t dared venture out of his room in order to formally introduce himself. He could only imagine what Dick and Jason had told the kid about him.
Tim was about to reply back, having somehow walked over to the door without his knowledge, when there was a second and third voice at the door. “Dami! What are you doing? Tim doesn’t join us for anything, we told you this. Now come along and let’s go play a fun family game before dinner.” Dick ushered the kid away from Tim’s door. Jason hummed in agreement and moved them along. Tim felt like crying. He knew he wasn’t a part of the family, but he had been hoping that he could have been friends with Damian.
Looking around the small guest room that barely looked lived in, and nothing like home, Tim had a decision. He was going to wait until Christmas eve to give the Wayne’s his final gift, but he thinks that now will be a better time. An early Christmas gift if you will. After he had finished grabbing what he needed (not much. No tech because of trackers and he only owned two pairs of clothes that he cycled through every other day.) and took a breath. He sat down and opened up his laptop to write a goodbye note to his foster family when a news article caught his eye. ‘New Robin! A Holiday Miracle.’ Tim felt his body slowly shut down. He was no longer Robin. Sure he hadn’t been out in months because he knew that Damian was going to take over eventually, but still, to actually see the proof that he was no longer needed, hurt worse than a bunch from Bane. Tim shut the computer, no longer interested in writing a goodbye, and left.
He climbed down the drain spout and over the brick wall and was gone before anyone could even notice. The cold got to him quickly. Tim used a little of his cash to buy a thick winter jacket, before figuring out how to survive the upcoming winter. When he opened his backpack to pull out his journals, Tim realized that in his hurry, he had left them behind. They were sitting on his desk back at Wayne Manor. But there was no way he could go back for them. He would have to start fresh and move on.
Back at Wayne Manor, the house was rested from a night of easy patrol and delicious food. Bruce smiled down at three of these four sons and wished that he could build up the courage to talk to Tim. But the boy had shut them out completely, and Bruce was going to leave Tim alone if that was what he wanted. Alfred came downstairs with a full plate from the night before. Bruce recognized it as the one that he had filled to set outside of Tim’s door the night before. The note that he had written and placed on top since he did much better with written rather than spoken words, was unopened.
“Alfred? Is everything ok?” Dick asked the family Butler with concern since Tim never once neglected a meal in his whole time living there. But then again, none of them had seen Tim in person in nearly a month and a half. They figured that Tim was grieving, and grieving hard since he lost both his parents at once. So they gave him space and figured that the boy would eventually emerge from his room. They always left food outside the door, and like clockwork, fifteen minutes later, the door would creak open and a pale hand would slide in the plate. Fifteen minutes later, the plate was returned scraped clean. The family had learned that if they waited outside the door, trying to steal a glimpse of Tim, the boy wouldn’t take the food.
“I fear that something is wrong with Master Tim. His plate of food has gone untouched and there was no reply when I knocked on his door. Normally he gives me the courtesy of at least confirming that he is alive. When I tried to open the door, it was locked. I fear that there is something wrong.” Bruce was up and making his way toward Tim’s room by the time Alfred had finished speaking. As he walked at a near jog, he sorted through a massive key ring that was kept in his office that he had picked up on the way to find the key that went to TIm’s room. As Bruce tried a few different keys that looked far too similar, the rest of the family gathered behind him and waited anxiously to see what was behind the locked door. Finally, the lock clicked open and Bruce barged in, looking around frantically for his son.
There was no sign of Tim. In fact, it looked like no one had lived there at all. The bed was made, and there were no wall decorations, no pictures, blankets, or stuffed animals. There were just a few papers on the desk and Tim’s laptop and phone. The only thing that actually told Bruce that Tim had lived there was two little notebooks next to the laptop. The top one was open like someone had dropped it in a hurry. The other had a small piece of paper being used as a bookmark where the next blank page lay.
The open book didn’t read like a diary or a journal. It was a list. And when Bruce looked at more pages, he saw that the book was actually entirely a list. At the front of the book was a little index. Bruce read through it and felt his face grow green and his stomach turn with horror at what he was reading.
Index of Tim’s Lists:
list of Things To Do: Pg. 1-25
Things To Improve: Pg. 26-50
Things To Mention: Pg. 51-53
Things To Never Mention: Pg. 54-70
Pros of Having Me In Their Lives: Pg. 70
Cons of Having Me In Their Lives: Pg. 71-100
The second book started off the same. Only there were a few differences. The first book was filled with things Tim needed to do or not do around Jack or Janet Drake. The second book was all things to do with the Waynes, written in the same manner as the first book.
Bruce set down the ghastly words and threw up into the little trash can on the side of the desk, that from the looks of it, had never even been touched. His throwing up, gave the others a chance to read what was in the books.
Soon everyone was gasping or crying at the things that Tim had written in his notebooks.
“Father, what does Timothy mean by ‘out of sight, out of mind?’” Damian asked innocently. Bruce shot up from where he was slumped against the desk leg and demanded Damian give him the books. If anything, the nine-year-old, should not have to read these. “Father! I demand to know what it means. If Jason or Richard can know then I can know!” Bruce took a breath and talked to Damian.
“Dami, Jason is eighteen, and Dick is twenty-two. It is their own decision whether or not they want to read these or not. You are young and should not have to read about the things that happen in your big brother's head. But I will explain what you asked about since that is fair and may give you an understanding of where Tim’s mental health is at. As a kid, TIm was encouraged to be quiet, and hidden. Never seen, never heard, and not acknowledged as a kid. He was forced to grow up to fast. Like you, but he wasn’t trained to take over the world. He was trained to be the perfect child. No faults, errors, or cracks in the mask. I didn't realize until now just how badly Tim’s parent’s ruined his mental health. He now believes that in order to be loved, he has to have a purpose and a reason for existing. If anything, it’s probably why he spends all his time in his room instead of with the family. I just didn’t realize how badly he was hurting. But we will find him and help him get better. I promise.”
On the other side of Gotham, Tim Drake sat in the cold, waiting for the bus to arrive. “You all alone kid? Where’s your mommy and daddy?” A big man with easily a foot on Tim’s measly five-foot-nothing, and easily a hundred and fifty pounds on Tim’s hundred pounds soaking wet, came out of the shadows and walked towards Tim. The blood inside Tim ran cold when he recognized the man from a cold case a few months back. The guy had no name but wrote his letters in the blood of his victims. They managed to get a picture of the guy, but running his face through every ID came up with nothing. He went after teens that were all alone, usually homeless ones. The bodies would wind up floating in the Gotham river about three days after they went missing. Tim knew that the only way he was going to survive was if he ushered the last of his strength into running and getting to the rooftops he knew well.
“My parents just went to the bathroom real quick. I’m fine thank you.”
“You see kiddo, I watch who enters with who at this station and you entered alone-” Tim took off without waiting to hear the rest. Down the boardwalk and towards the city where Tim knew he could get to the rooftops. But right behind him was the creepy dude. And for a big dude, he ran fast. So Tim ushered the last of his strength and ran towards the nearest ally that he knew had a fire escape ladder that was mostly rusted over but could hold someone of his weight and size. Once he made it to the top, Tim took a moment to breathe before seeing a meaty hand reach up over the rooftop. How the guy made it up, Tim had no idea, but he wasn’t sticking around to find out.
The game of cat and mouse continued for a while, and TIm began to run out of stamina when he saw a familiar black cat costume up ahead. “CATWOMAN! HELP!!” TIm screamed. He saw the lady look up, and was surprised to see both Ivy and Harley Quinn there too. The girls ran over, recognizing the old Robin since Ivy had long figured out Bruce Wayne was Batman and had told Ivy, and Selina had figured it out since Bruce and Selina had dated for a while.
The three badass women pulled TIm close and a look of wrath came over their faces when they realized that Tim was lacking in weight and color on his cheeks. He quickly explained who the guy chasing him was and let them do their thing. Within moments, the goon was tangled up in vines, hanging upside down, and sporting a major concussion from several kicks to the head and Harel’y baseball bat. TIm called 911 and explained the situation before hanging up and starting to walk off, hoping the three ladies wouldn’t see him take off.
“AND just WHERE do you think you’re going, Timothy Jackson Drake?” Selina asked as she put a hand on the kid's far too bony shoulder.
“Ummmm.” replied Tim. If only his mother could see him now. She would have strangled him with her finely manicured nails and not broken a fingernail with how angry she would have been to hear him reply with ‘ummmm.’
Harley and Ivy surrounded the boy along with Selina and refused to let him go anywhere. “Kitten, I don’t know what is going on, but you are not doing so well. You’ve lost weight, and muscle mass, you pale even though you just ran several miles, and last I checked there hasn't been a robin sighting in months before last night, and the new kid is too short, even to be you. Come back to my place and get some rest. We’ll help you figure out everything after you eat and sleep. OK?” Tim couldn’t help but nod as tears streamed down his cheeks.
“Don’t cry birdie! Everything will be ok.” Harley picked up Tim and frowned at her girlfriend and Selina with concern at how easy it was to pick the kid up. Within a few moments, the girls were back at Selina’s apartment, and the kid was already asleep in Harley’s arms.
Jason, Dick, Bruce, and Damian were all suited up and preparing to head out into Gotham to search for Tim. Just as they were about to leave, Bruce called them back to the Batcomputer to look at a police report that had come in just a few minutes ago, while they were still getting ready.
“Guys! Come look at this!” Bruce yelled to his gaggle of kids all hovering by the Batmobile for their father. The three boys meandered over and looked at the screen. On the giant Batcomputer, was a copy of the GCPD report on the murder that had been eluding both Batman and the police, what was confusing was who took him down.
“Since when do Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and Catwoman fight crime?” Jason asked with puzzlement. Dick shrugged and frowned at the case file.
“It says here that there was a note left at the scene. ‘For GCPD. This Douche bag was chasing down a kid. Do better. Love, Catwoman, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy.’ Now that makes sense. All three ladies hate people who hurt kids. I’ll check in with Selina while looking for Tim since my patrol routes pass by her apartment. Maybe she’ll have seen something earlier tonight.” Dick left the computer and got on his motorcycle and took off. Jason did the same, and Damian got into the Batmobile while Bruce shut down the Batcomputer.
Back in Gotham, Tim had somehow managed to stay asleep while the trio jumped from rooftop to rooftop. Once Selina had opened up her apartment window and the three ladies and small boy were in, was Ivy making a nest of blankets for Harley to Lay Tim into in the spare bedroom. Once the teen was comfy, the girls shed their costumes and donned normal clothes, and moved out into the kitchen.
While Selina was dating Bruce, she picked up a few habits. Picking up strays (the teen sleeping in her guest room), fighting some crime, and occasionally brooding. But she managed to pick up her favorite habit from Alfred: Stress baking. Selina got out all the necessary supplies and got to work on peanut butter chocolate chip cookies while she ranted to Pam and Harley about neglectful parents and how some people don’t deserve kids.
Halfway through her bake/rant, a knock on her window snapped her out of her anger. There, perched on the fire escape, was Nightwing. He waved and timidly smiled before pointing at the lock on the window, asking to be let in. But Selina was currently pissed at all Bats, but she opened the window just so she could yell at him.
But the moment Nightwing was through the window, his story from earlier that night came pouring out of his mouth. Everything from Tim’s behavior over the last few months, to him becoming isolated, and withdrawn, to just a few hours ago, when they discovered that Tim was gone and what they had discovered in his journal. By the end of the tale, Nightwing was a sobbing mess on the floor of Selina’s apartment. Pamela and Harley watched, but Selina knew that the pair couldn’t wait to cheer up the young adult.
The problem with all the crying was that it woke up Tim. The sleeping teen stumbled out of the guest room, sweatshirt practically drowning the small boy and black bags prominent under Tim’s pale face. Harley and Ivy watch as Tim looked around the room to see where the noise was coming from, stopping when he reached where Dick had collapsed on the ground, clinging to Selina, and sobbing as the woman hugged him.
“Dick?” Tim asked in a quiet voice. Dick’s red, blotchy face shot up, looking for the voice of his little brother. Once he spotted Tim, he was up and out of Selina’s arms and checking over Tim faster than anyone could believe.
“Are you alright? Are you hurt? Why did you leave? I love you so much, but holy shit babybird you scared the hell out of me!” Dick pulled Tim into a tight hug. The three ladies watched as the two brothers connected.
Finally, Tim pulled away and stammered out an answer. “I’ll be out of your hair soon, I promise. You don’t get your family involved, I promise!”
Dick pulled tim back into a hug. “You aren’t going anywhere Babybird. You are a part of this family. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise. But you are so loved and so adored. We thought that you were mourning your parents still and needed time to yourself. I never meant to make you think we had abandoned you. But…Tim, we saw the journals. Please know, you never have to act like that around us. We do want you with us, making noise and having fun, and acting like a normal teen. We’ll work on it together, alright kiddo?” Tim nodded, still blissed out from being in a hug. “Now I am going to figure out a way to get you home on my bike. And then I am going to keep hugging you because you are a severely touch-starved kid. And I need my Timmy hugs.” Selina could not let two of her favorite birds attempt to ride home on a bike designed for one while one was emotionally unstable and the other had the strength of a newborn kitten. That’s when she got a genius idea.
“How about this? You both stay here. Dick, I have some of Bruce’s clothes in the closet. Get changed into something comfy and you can snuggle Timmy while us five have a movie night. I’m a little pissed with your father at the moment for not noticing just how much his son was hurting, and I want him to notice just what happens when a bird is caught by a cat.” She smiled darkly and the boys thought it over. Tim was just excited to get more hugs, and Dick just wanted to keep hugging Timmy, so both boys readily agreed.
Within minutes, Dick was out of his costume and in sweats and a T-shirt that were far too big on the adult man. By the time the first Disney movie was over, Tim was snuggled into Dick’s side and not intending on going anywhere. Pamela and Harley were snuggled on the loveseat and making fun of the people in the movies. Selina reached over and kissed Tim’s forehead from where she sat on the teen's other side. The sleepy boy hummed in his sleep and burrowed deeper into his nearly asleep brother's side, seeking out warmth even though he was practically wrapped in about five blankets.
By movie two, Jason joined the group. Once he saw that everyone was safe and not actually dead and that Tim definitely needed more meat on his bones, he turned around and left to find their last missing brother. By the end of movie two, Jason returned with a scowling Damian, whose unhappy frown softened when he saw his two sleeping brothers.
The boys left to raid Bruce’s clothes and Damian borrowed some of Tim’s clothes that he took with them. He made sure to never give them back so Tim had an excuse to stay. And by the start of movie three, the two sleeping boys on the couch, protected by three female ex-villains became four.
Selina looked over her charges and sent a picture to Alfred, because of course Alfred was in on the plan, hell, he practically encouraged the plan! She looked towards the window and waited for her ex to jump in, Batarangs blazing, demanding his kids back safely, or pleading for any source of information to their whereabouts, anything to prove to Selina that he actually cared to the kids that he called his own.
And she got her to wish. Sort of. By the time sunlight was peaking through the smog, everyone was asleep by Selina. She was startled by a quiet knock at the door. There Bruce was, on his knees, crying.
“Selina, I need your help. Please. Tim ran away and I can’t get ahold of anyone else, please I need your help.” Bruce cried and begged for a few seconds longer before Selina took pity on the man and pulled him into the house. She drew him into the spare room which was right before the living room where the boys were sleeping.
“Did you get any sleep last night? You’re a mess.” the lady asked with concern. Bruce shook his head.
“After Tim ran away, I knew I had to find him. I screwed up big time. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving him space. But I screwed up by not supporting him during one of the hardest times of his life, and instead of comforting him, I made him think that he had to get over his feelings before being Robin again, and then when Damian came along, he thought I had replaced him. I need help Selina, please.” Bruce continued to cry and beg for help before Selina gently shushed him and pulled her ex to his feet.
“I want you to see something before you keep insisting that you are such a bad father and don’t deserve those amazing boys. Because every parent makes mistakes, including I would bet, yours. But we learn from our mistakes and we move on. And I want to show you just how you haven’t screwed up. Follow me.” She picked up Bruce’s rough hand and dragged him to the living room where the sun was just starting to peak in through a crack in the curtains and shine on all four sleeping boys.
“There ok. Pam, Harls, and I found Tim and brought him here. Dick showed up freaking out about missing little brothers and just about had a mental breakdown when he saw that Tim was safe. Both were missing each other's hugs so we let them stay here for the night. Then Jay showed up, saw that his brothers were safe, and left. He showed up about an hour later with Damian. They changed into civies and fell asleep with their brothers. The fact that you raised them to care about each other and respect each other to the point where they would even go to ex-villains to find their baby brother, means that you raised those boys right. That behavior isn’t just taught, it is learned. They learned it from you. From all the times that you would run back into a building to save one person or would work yourself nearly to death to bring them all home safely. You may have made a mistake, but you thought you were doing the right thing. Now hit the reset button and take your kids home before Pam and Harley adopt them.” Selina finished her speech by pushing Bruce towards his kids and motioning for him to move forward. Bruce got close and kneeled down in front of Tim and brushed the long hair out of his son’s face. Tim stirred and woke up, accidentally kicking Jay who woke up, and headbutted Damian who then also woke up, who screeched and woke up Dick. All the boys looked around and then one after the other, landed on their father's face, to find him smiling and crying, the latter something that none of them had ever seen.
“B? You ok?” Dick asked. Bruce nodded and pulled all of his sons in close.
“I’m so sorry Timmy. I should have checked in more or helped you get used to living at the manor. I did a terrible job of welcoming you. But I will do better. Alfred saved dinner and tonight we are going to have a real family dinner. We will pick up Aunt Kate, and Selina, and Aunt Harley and Aunt Ivy can come if they want, but tonight I’ll have all four of my sons with me at dinner. And tomorrow or Sunday, Timmy, we can redo your room to fit your wants and style. It still looks far too much like a guest room. I want you to be happy living with us, and I want you to experience what it’s like to be able to live around people and not follow a list of rules, and just be yourself. Well, there will still be rules, Alfred would probably skin me alive if I would ever dare tell him, no, but I don’t want you to worry about those rules that your parents made up. There is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect, just the way you are. And I'm so proud of all my kids coming together to comfort each other. I couldn’t be prouder.” Bruce pulled his boys in for one more tight hug before ushering them toward the room to grab their things. Selina went with them to help, and Bruce got up to warm up the car. Harley stopped him, and when he turned around he was surprised to see her look so nervous.
“Bruce, I hate to tell you this, but Timmy needs more help than what you can give him. When I picked him up to get him here, he was far lighter than he should have been, and even while buried under blankets and his brothers, I could still see him shaking in cold. Pam and I will be over later. But talk to Timmy.”
Bruce could tell that Tim had lost weight, but he hadn’t thought it was serious. Now he was worried and wanted nothing more than to comfort his son. But Bruce plastered on a smile, gathered up his group of children, and drove home. Alfred was waiting to wish them a late Happy Thanksgiving and serve them a small breakfast. It didn’t escape either man’s watchful gaze that Tim didn’t finish his plate and that he was very quiet. After breakfast, Tim excused himself to his room and left without another word.
After helping clean up and promptly being banned from the kitchen again (he didn’t mean to set the oven mitt on fire), Bruce took a few hours to plan out what he was going to say to Tim and the best way to do it, then he made his way upstairs to talk to Tim, only to see his other three children had already beaten him to it. So instead of bargaining in on their bonding time, he sat outside and listened to his boys connect. It warmed his heart and Bruce wished that his parents were alive to meet their grandkids.
Bruce listened as the four brothers talked and caught up with one another, and from the sounds of it, Damian had taken to Tim’s presence like a fish to water, eager to have another older brother. Jason was the loudest, doing stupid things to try and get Tim to laugh, and then there would be a burst of laughter, and then silence, as Jason quietly asked Tim if he wanted anything to eat.
“I’m fine Jay. Harley was just being overdramatic. I’m just not all that hungry. But I promise I’ll eat something at dinner.” From the sounds of it, Jason had dropped the subject, and Bruce used that as a good time to knock on the door and make his presence known.
After being granted permission to enter, Bruce cracked open the door and peeked in. “Hey! Alfred said dinner will be ready in about ten minutes and he wanted me to send Jason down to have him help with prepping the last of the food. And He asked me to tell Dick and Damian to set the table for ten since Pam, Harley, Selina, and Kate are all coming for dinner.” The boys all got up and quickly left the room, knowing better than to put off doing Alfred’s tasks.
Tim remind sitting on the bed, staring at his feet. After a second, Bruce walked over and sat by the boy, but didn’t look at Tim, not wanting to make the teen uncomfortable. “I wanted to talk to you about something before dinner,” Bruce stated quietly. Tim nodded solemnly like he was being taken to the gallows. “Harley told me that when she picked you up, you felt way too light and that even under all the blankets, you were still cold. If I had to guess, you haven’t been eating that great since your parents died huh?”
Tim shook his head no. “My parents liked it when I was small, made it easier to reuse old clothes so they didn’t have to waste time with me. And a Drake heir has to be perfect and ready. They had so many rules, that eventually I had to start writing them down. Once I felt like I had perfected them to the point where my parents didn’t have to correct me every time, I would cross off that item. Then when I moved here, I didn’t know the rules so I reused some of the ones from when I lived with my parents, and then I made new ones. I thought you would want me to stay small as well, so that way you didn’t have to waste your money on frivolous things like clothes for me when I have perfectly good ones already.”
Bruce wanted to cry. Or scream. Or both. Because the Drake’s had gotten it in Tim’s head that he needed to be small to be loved. Be whatever to be loved. And it simply wasn’t true, but to Tim, that was all he knew. But instead of crying or screaming, Bruce just pulled Tim into a hug, nearly crying when he was able to feel Tim’s spine and collarbone protruding through his skin.
“You are perfect just the way you are, no matter what bullshit your parent’s told you, you are perfect. You don’t need to starve yourself or hide away to get my approval. I want you just how you are. Now, how about we go get some dinner? You don't have to force yourself to eat a huge portion, and we can start out small, but you do need to eat. No more secrets, and no more of this negative self-talk. OK?”
Tim, who had started crying, stifled and nodded. “Ok.” Tim made it through dinner, under the watchful eye of everyone to make sure he had finished his plate. And for the first time ever, Tim tried chocolate pie and deemed it the best thing ever.
The next morning, Tim tossed his notebooks and started a new one. He titled it one thing. “Pros Of My Life” The first item in his notebook was his family.
The second was chocolate pie.