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Christmas to Edward Nashton was never as special as it was for everybody around him. All it did was spark painful memories of being cold in the orphanage and memories of being painfully alone as an adult.
This year was different. He didn’t know how to act.
Because there Bruce was, willing to give up his love and even, his life for the sake of Edward. A noble sort of man who valued everyone around him above himself. A man who looked like a model and could probably get anyone in Gotham he wanted and yet… he chose Edward.
Edward didn’t know what Bruce saw from him. Even in the beginning when he simply assumed Bruce only wanted him for sex- wanted to fuck a pathetic and worthless man just for the sake of it. He thought it was odd- Bruce knew how much Edward hated him. He supposed that was all apart of the charm of the act.
And then it became more than fucking. Bruce started saying things to him, started hanging around him more doing these painfully domestic acts, he introduced him to his butler, he invited him out to do these things that felt like dates. There had been a shift and even the way Bruce looked at him was different.
With so much love and care. Like Edward was sacred. But Bruce never handled him like he was fragile or treated him like some project he wanted to fix. He looked at Edward as if it was all real.
Edward didn’t know how to handle himself with it all. He had never felt that way before.
Previous Christmases, he slept with rats and mourned the children who froze to death. Previous Christmases, he spent the day curled up on his rotting bed and not receiving love or gifts from anyone. Previous Christmases, he failed to understand why everyone was so excited about it when it was just a day.
This Christmas it wasn’t just a day. In fact, it was a whole month.
Leading up to it, Bruce and him would get hot chocolates, go ice skating, visit Gotham’s markets, decorated the Christmas tree, watched old Christmas classics… you name it.
And it was the first time Edward really worried about gifts. Not only for Bruce but for Alfred too.
He’d leave the tower and wander Gotham, wondering what he could possibly get the two with the little money he had.
The worry would subside though, each morning when he’d wake up beside Bruce with the snow coming down from outside the window.
This Christmas would be different and this Christmas he was beginning to think he may just understand the meaning of it all.