Work Text:
It's already late at night. The best time for people to rest, preparing enough energy for the next day's activities. But Jeonghan was still slumped over, not moving an inch from where he had been since this afternoon. Even to straighten his head for a few minutes, the man was reluctant.
This was the first time Jeonghan had ever felt such an overwhelming sense of despair. Faced with the biggest failure he had ever experienced in life. To make matters worse, Jeonghan failed at something that he was truly passionate about. The business that he had been working on for the past few years was forced to go out of business due to an increasing lack of commitment.
Yes, today is the last day Jeonghan's clothing boutique operates. After trying to maintain it for the past few months, with many heated discussions with the parties involved, Jeonghan finally gave up.
He is the one to blame indeed, Jeonghan's inability to divide his time between business and his academic journey made him have to accept the bitterness of failure and losses that were not cheap.
But he was sure, this decision was probably the best. Jeonghan did not want to let his journey to get a bachelor's degree be delayed, nor did he want to see his business continue to run but with minimal effort.
"Han Hyung, I'm going home first"
“Oh, yes Sa. Thank you so much Sa, i'm really sorry about everything,"
“It's okay Hyung, we all understand and we're all fine. See you tomorrow Hyung, we'll have a farewell lunch at my house,”
That's Eisa. One of Jeonghan's trusted subordinates who has worked with him since he started his business.
Actually, Jeonghan's guilt towards his employees, especially Eisa, is very big. But fortunately they could all understand Jeonghan's situation, after all they also agreed with Jeonghan's principle that it is better not to run at all than to force things that were unlikely to get maximum results.
Jeonghan also tried in such a way to be able to look strong in front of his men, even though deep inside he felt crushed. His heart and body seemed to be broken into pieces.
Too immersed in his sadness, Jeonghan even ignored his cell phone all day. There were so many messages from the closest people that Jeonghan ignored until now.
Like being struck by lightning, Jeonghan hurriedly opened his cell phone and tried to contact Seungcheol, the owner of Jeonghan's heart.
To no avail, he then opened the chat room between him and Seungcheol which was already filled with dozens of messages from his lover.
Jeonghan hurriedly tidied up his things as soon as he read the message from Seungcheol. Taking his car keys and immediately throwing himself into the driver's seat which was then followed by a sharp step on the gas by him.
-
"Seungcheol…"
Empty. Jeonghan thought Seungcheol would be in their room, resting his body and mind. But the gray room was empty without Seungcheol's presence.
"Here, baby"
The firm voice came from Seungcheol's workroom. The mahogany door with lotus carvings was opened slowly by Jeonghan, revealing the figure he had been looking for standing near his desk while smoking an imported cigarette from a colleague.
"Sorry, I didn't open my phone all day"
The person spoken to was silent. Seungcheol wasn't angry, he just felt empty.
"Cheol... do you want me to leave? You need some time with yourself, perhaps?"
"No, my dear"
Seungcheol moved to sit on the red velvet sofa in the center of the room after putting out his cigarette, which Jeonghan followed.
"I'm so sorry for the bad news... I should have come with you earlier, right?"
"No baby, you also have other stuff to do. I'm just confused for a bit, because maybe my team's expectations were too high"
Seungcheol was an accomplished lawyer. With an excellent reputation. His winning percentage was around 80 percent. The clients who had hired his services were not just anyone.
Artists, billionaires and even some politicians.
But today it seems like the goddess of fortune is not in favor of Seungcheol. He lost. Even though the case being handled is not a heavy case. Almost everyone who followed the trial from the beginning was sure that Seungcheol and his team would win.
"It's okay... you can feel angry, or sad. Life happens and we can't change the things that already happened,”
"But Han, my reputation feels like it's being stomped on. The case is so trivial, I feel sorry for my team,”
Oh Seungcheol, if only he understood that the lover in front of him had just experienced the same thing. Experienced a failure in the field that he loved so much and also disappointing the people under him who had trusted each other.
Jeonghan felt like screaming. To let Seungcheol and the world know that he was not okay. But Jeonghan is Jeonghan, swallowing all the bitterness.
"There will be another chance baby, there will be another case in the future that you can handle and you can win. Your team, they will definitely understand and be fully okay with this loss, after all you've worked together for years,"
Seungcheol was again silent. He closed his eyes for a while and then rested his head on Jeonghan's thigh.
"What if I fail? I feel that my performance lately has also not been the best. You must be really disappointed with me if one day I lose everything,"
"Cheol…"
"You wouldn't love me the same if that happened, right?"
Damn. Jeonghan felt like swearing. How could this man doubt the love and affection he has for him? Even in the midst of Jeonghan's anxiety and disappointment, he still put Seungcheol above everything else. Even when almost his entire world was destroyed, Jeonghan still tried to look okay in front of Seungcheol so that the man could at least feel the same way.
Even when his heart was broken into pieces, he still loved the man who had been with him for almost a decade.
Jeonghan sighed.
"You know that today is actually Blanche's last day of business,"
"What? Han…"
"Don't scold me, listen first"
Seungcheol got up from his sleep, he then sat up straight facing Jeonghan.
“What I want to say is, one thing you should know even when I'm messy like this, I still prioritize you, Cheol. Earlier when I read your chat, I rushed home because I knew you must be really disappointed. Even though I'm actually not doing so well,"
Jeonghan continued speaking after seeing Seungcheol's expression soften.
"So please, don't ever doubt my love and affection for you. I'm crushed, broken, wrecked or whatever the condition is, I will always love you. My love will not change. Even when you are in times like this, when it feels like the world is turning its back on you, or it feels like your body is being slammed many times, even when your heart is breaking into pieces. I will always love you. I will love you to those pieces that may be already out of shape. As long as it's you.'
Seungcheol was silent for a moment, holding back the tears that were already pooling under his eyes. Jeonghan just smiled softly seeing his lover so fragile at the moment.
"Han... thank you so much. I'm glad I have you in my life."
"You're welcome, baby"
The two people embraced. Warm and tight. Channeling all the burdens that had been carried alone.
Their lips then joined together, occasionally Seungcheol's tears fell down. Jeonghan could only smile a little while wiping his lover's tears and then continued the kissing session with a faster and more demanding tempo.
"Want you,"
"Really? You know you can't stop me once i start,"
Jeonghan chuckled amusedly.
"One hundred positive,"
Seungcheol immediately pulled Jeonghan onto his lap. Continuing their steamy activity until dawn.
That's how it should be. Having each other and being grateful for each other's presence in their lives.
It's scary for some people, the idea of loving so deeply and so much. Loving to the worst form of a person.
But not for Seungcheol and Jeonghan. It's not an easy thing, but they both promise to continue to love whatever, wherever, whenever, and however.
To continue to love as much and as deeply as possible.