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The room was dark. Roach could turn on the light, but he didn’t have the heart to do it. He didn’t want anyone to find him. On the other hand, he felt like the room should grieve with him, so he felt less alone. That he could share this pain with the darkness that engulf him. Like a cold, empty hug for the pain.
You may be wondering what brought this sadness upon him. The simplest answer – a cat.
A few hours before Roach return back to base, he discovers his oldest family cat, Paws, passed away. The poor girl was cold before he could do anything to help. The best answer for her death could have been natural case, considering her age, it was mostly likely, but that didn’t help with the grief. Right now, Roach feels devastated.
Paws is his baby girl. She’s family. . . was family.
Roach took a deep breath and tried to hold back the tears. He was going to get a headache if he didn’t stop crying.
When Roach first met Paws, he found her and her sister in an old tool shed in the middle of winter. Unlike her sister, she was clinging to life despite being a tiny kitten. Her breaths were shallow and slow. Her body was cold as ice. If Roach wasn’t paying attention, he would have assumed that they both died. Roach did everything in his power to keep her alive – gave her warm milk, wrapped her in a blanket and held her all night. Roach was just a kid, but that didn’t stop him from feeling the responsibility to take care of a life. You could say at this moment, he became her new family. He thanks whoever was listening because the next morning, the kitten was full of life and already begging for food. Like she wasn’t on death’s doorstep.
Paws was a sudden addition to the family, but she got to stay. The only problem, he had with her was that he didn’t know what to name her. As dumb kid, he thought about giving her a cool name like Thunder, Razer, Sasha, or Alex. Thinking back on it, Roach dodges a bullet, it would have been weird to have a cat with Russian name, considering the work he does now.
Anyway, the name was given by his late grandmother. She based her name on her appearance. Paws was a gray cat with clean, white paws and the yellowest eyes he’s ever seen. Compared to other cats, she wasn’t special looking, but to him, she was perfect.
Roach started to rub his eyes as he could feel the tears forming again. He felt like a mess, probably looked like one too. He didn’t care, he lost his baby, and he wasn’t handling the lose too well.
“You know, I’m going to miss her too,” someone whispered. Roach didn’t look up, but he knew his Lieutenant’s voice. Roach didn’t hear him come in or notice the light coming in from the doorway. At this point, he wouldn’t have been surprised if he misses an invasion.
“You didn’t know her,” Roach stated. He rubs his eyes again.
“I knew she made you happy,” Ghost whispered. He closes the door, washing the room back in the darkness. Ghost walks over to Roach and sat next to him on the floor. Now, they were shoulder to shoulder in the dark.
“With the amount of photos, I showed you, she did,” Roach chuckled. Ghost didn’t say anything but grabbed Roach’s hand and held onto it. Roach took that as permission as he leans on his shoulder. “Are you really going to miss her?”
Ghost squeezes his hand before answering, “Yes. I’m going to miss the way she made you smile. The cute photos you took together.” Ghost chuckled before continuing, “Or, the trouble she put you through like the tiny scratches on your hands.”
“Putting alcohol on those scratches hurt like a bitch,” Roach said as he scrunched up his nose.
“Or the constant attitude, she loves to give you.”
“Honestly, I have no idea where she got that from.”
Ghost smirks before saying, “Yah, mate. It’s certainly a mystery.”
“Hey!” Both men were chuckling together as it began to settle into a comfortable silence. Roach is glad Ghost is here. It made him wonder how he knew about Paws.
“Your mother called me. She told me about Paws,” Ghost explains, like he heard Roach’s thoughts.
“I’m not going to ask how she got your number,” Roach said, “But I’m glad she did. I needed the company.”
“She said, you would,” Ghost turned his head to give Roach a kiss on top of his head.
“I miss Paws, Simon,” Roach said as he voices began to crack. Simon let’s go of Gary’s hand so he could turn to hug him. Hold him as he began to cry again.
“It’s okay, love. Let it all out,” Simon whispers, “Paws is worth all the love you gave her.”