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Toudou Jinpachi is a lot of things. Loud, annoying, talks way too much and likes to brag about everything, a tumultuous combination of Arakita’s best friend and most likely the very literal bane of his existence.
Toudou Jinpachi is also standing over his bed, with his hands on his hips and a completely serious look in his eyes, asking Arakita to be his fake boyfriend.
At first, he thinks he’s dreaming, that he flopped onto his bed after practice that day and just crashed. This is too weird to be real. It has to be a dream.
But it’s not.
“You want me to what?”
Toudou looks exasperated, tapping his foot impatiently as he leans over Arakita’s bed. “I said I needed a small favor from you, and then asked you to be my fake boyfriend.”
“That’s not a small favor!” Arakita finally sits up now that his nap is completely interrupted, and he’s at least mostly sure he’s not dreaming. “A small favor is like… asking me to help you with homework! Not pretending to date you!”
“You’re the last person I’d go to for help with homework, so that’s completely out of the question anyway.” Toudou rolls his eyes overdramatically. “Besides, you should be honored I’m even asking you in the first place!”
“I’m not honored. Go ask someone else. Let me go back to sleep.”
He rolls over, hoping that by some miracle Toudou will drop the ridiculous idea and just leave. Although, knowing Toudou, that’s probably the least likely outcome of ignoring him.
“Arakita!”
The mattress sinks under the weight of Toudou kneeling on it, leaning over Arakita. He lets out a loud groan as Toudou, predictable and annoying per the usual, shakes his shoulder and pokes at his back.
“Arakita! You can’t just say no without even listening. I thought you were better than that, but apparently I was wrong.”
He’s going to regret it. He knows he’s going to regret it. Yet despite that glaringly obvious fact, despite the warning sirens’ deafening blares in his head—the caution to absolutely 100% avoid indulging Toudou’s ridiculous requests, especially one that involves pretending to date of all things—Arakita ignores any bit of rational thought he may have and rolls over. “Explain it, then.”
The smug smile on Toudou’s lips and the triumphant gleam in his eyes that are commonplace when he thinks he’s won anything against Arakita are there, and Arakita really does regret even asking.
This isn’t winning, though. Definitely not. It’s just annoying someone who after a long day of school and practice is willing to pay any price in order to get one annoying teammate to stop shaking his shoulder and let him sleep.
“I’m glad you asked!”
…
Apparently, it all started with a phone call.
Which really isn’t that surprising, considering that Toudou constantly has his phone in hand—or, more accurately, glued to his damn ear.
Toudou apparently has some sort of family party to go to next weekend. According to him, he wouldn’t care about going dateless until he got a phone call from his cousin earlier.
“Miyako’s great, but she’s always trying to one-up me. It’s been that way since we were kids,” Toudou explains as they eat dinner together at the nearby diner—Toudou’s suggestion, and although Arakita had wanted to sleep, why turn down a free meal even if it means listening to Toudou’s crazy plan.
“So you need a date to prove a point to your cousin? Lame.”
Toudou makes an annoyed face at him, swings his leg to kick at Arakita’s shin lightly for interrupting. “Anyway, she’s bringing her boyfriend, and was bragging, saying how I’m not dating anyone yet and she got a date before I did. So I just kind of… said I had a boyfriend.”
Arakita doesn’t mean to start laughing, but it’s impossible not to. It’s just funny to think about Toudou, of all people, being driven into a corner so that he’d blurt out a lie about having a boyfriend. All to be better than his cousin. It’s hilarious.
“Don’t laugh, Arakita! This is a serious matter. I have to show up with a date now or she’ll never let me hear the end of it!”
For a moment, Arakita thinks it’d be funny to have Toudou constantly mocked by his cousin for lying about having a date, and he’s about to say so too, until he sees the pleading look on Toudou’s face, the one asking him to please consider doing this one thing for him. He sighs. “Why me, though? Aren’t there plenty of other people you could ask?”
Toudou shrugs. “Not really. I think Fuku and Shinkai are like a thing, and Maki-chan—”
“Wait, what?” Toudou is not a credible source at all, but the words make him curious. “Fuku-chan and Shinkai?”
He smacks Toudou’s hand away when the other reaches across the table to knock on his head—a mocking gesture Toudou does way too often for Arakita’s liking. “You mean you can’t tell? I knew you weren’t the brightest, Arakita, but sometimes I think you don’t have a brain in your head. You’re too oblivious.”
“And you’re always getting into everyone’s damn business!” Arakita slaps at Toudou’s arm again.
“Your insults need serious work. Are you struggling to think of new ones in your old age?”
“You’re a moron!”
“Try again next time.”
“Fuck you.” This time, in payback for the words and for the kick from earlier, Arakita sends a kick to Toudou’s shin. “Wait, are they really?”
“I said I think so, but I’d say my suspicions about this kind of thing are generally correct.”
“Says the one who needs a fake boyfriend.”
Toudou opens his mouth, raises his finger, but then quickly lowers his hand and closes his mouth. Like he doesn’t have a comeback. Good. “Incredible.”
“I try.”
Toudou waves his hands dismissively. “Well, anyway, will you do it or not? I hate to say it… really hate to say it, but you’re my last hope, Arakita.”
“Why should I?”
“Because I’m your best friend and you obviously love me a lot.”
“Gross. Don’t flatter yourself.” He leans back in his seat, unable to believe that he’s actually even considering the offer. Normally, he’d flat out say no to something like this given Toudou’s history of bad ideas that Arakita has gotten sucked into. But despite all of that and how much they constantly bicker, they have become good friends throughout high school. And he’s not completely horrible that he’d leave a friend hanging like this.
But… pretending to be Toudou’s boyfriend is a whole new level of insanity. Something he’s sure could end in disaster.
“It’s one weekend. I’ll buy you Bepsi! And dinner again. Whatever you want.”
Okay, he’s definitely considering it a little more now. “Whatever I want without you nagging me about it?”
“I suppose I can try.”
That means he’ll still get nagged, but it’s a victory enough that Toudou will at least try not to, to say the least.
It’s one weekend. One weekend that he can probably, most likely survive. He’s become pretty adept at dealing with Toudou-related situations by now anyway, no matter how annoyed he gets. “Yeah, fine, I guess.”
“Wow, you really aren’t so horrible. I’m shocked!”
“Toudou…”
He laughs. “Thank you, Arakita. I owe you one.”
“Yeah, you do. Remember this the next time you complain about me.”
“Maybe…”
“I can take it back and say no at any time!” Arakita shoots back, which earns him a laugh from Toudou.
“Fine, fine. I mean it, though. Thank you. Just… try not to make me look too bad this weekend.”
Arakita rolls his eyes, and throws a crumpled up napkin at Toudou’s face, hitting him right in the forehead as he says in a mocking tone to imitate Toudou, “Maybe…”
“Arakita!”
They’re both laughing, though, even as Toudou picks up the napkin and throws it back at Arakita’s face. There’s the possibility that this pretend dating scheme could go completely wrong and end in disaster, but even if there is that chance, Arakita still will do it. Regret and complain about it, maybe. But since Toudou is his friend—one very loud and obnoxious friend, but still a good one, his best—he’ll take the chance at least for one weekend.
…
At least once a week Toudou ends up in Arakita’s room late afternoons after practice to do homework together. Arakita complains about having him there, of course, because who would he be if he didn’t complain at Toudou, but he doesn’t mind the company. Toudou is actually quiet when he’s focused on his homework, forehead crinkled in concentration, one hand gripping his pen, the other sometimes twirling a strand of hair or his fingers drumming lightly against his notebook or textbook.
(It’s not like Arakita knows that from going out of his way to watch Toudou or anything. He just happens to notice when he gets too frustrated and shoves the half-done work aside in his annoyance.)
Wednesday is their day this week. It’s been mostly quiet since Toudou welcomed himself into Arakita’s room, save for the scratching of their pens against paper, the turning of pages in their books, the occasional words they say to each other, and the very annoying buzzing of Toudou’s phone that he seems to have been avoiding ever since he got here.
“Can you shut your damn phone up?” Arakita finally asks, feeling a weird combination of annoyance at the noise and relief for the excuse to look away from the work laid out in front of him for so long that he’s tired of looking at it. “I’m trying to concentrate.”
Toudou looks up at him from where he’s sprawled out at the bottom of Arakita’s bed. “Fine, fine.”
Arakita glances down at his book again, flipping the page disinterestedly and doesn’t even bother reading the words. He jumps when he hears a loud groan and looks up just in time to see Toudou toss his phone to the other side of the bed.
“What?”
Toudou pushes his books aside, rolls over onto his back so he’s closer to Arakita. “We have a problem!”
“Whatever it is, the answer is no. I’m not on fake boyfriend or whatever duty until Saturday.” He lightly prods at Toudou’s shoulder with his foot in an effort to move him, but Toudou doesn’t budge, only slaps his ankle playfully.
“My cousin keeps texting me asking to see a picture of us!” Toudou waves his hands around as he speaks, like he’s flustered. “I ignored her at first, but she won’t stop! Help.”
Arakita scowls, absentmindedly flipping a page in his book. That’s all Toudou wants? It’s nothing to get all bent out of shape about. “Haven’t we taken pictures together before? You’re always using your damn phone, after all. Send her one of those, dumbass.”
Toudou sighs, giving Arakita that look he always does—the one that usually says he can’t believe Arakita isn’t picking up on whatever it is Toudou is saying. “Arakita, all you do is try to mess up my selfies. I want a good one! Well… any picture of me is automatically good. You, on the other hand…”
“You’re not making me want to help you.” He finally shuts his textbook, happy to toss it out of his sight and onto the floor.
“She already thinks that I’m lying to her, so if I say no, she’s never going to believe me.”
“Yeah, yeah. Fine. Get it over with, I guess.” He gives an exaggerated roll of his eyes as Toudou moves to grab his phone. “And only one, got it? I’m not gonna sit here and pose while you have to make it meet your standards or whatever. I have better things to do than this!”
“Keep telling yourself that and maybe it will be true.” Toudou smirks at Arakita once he has his phone and flops down next to him. “How else would you spend your time if it wasn’t with me?”
“I’ve spent too much time with you, I need to get the hell away.”
“Liar. You love me.”
“Keep telling yourself that and maybe it will be true.”
Toudou places a hand over his heart, feigning sadness. “You wound me, Arakita.”
“Then I’m doing something right.”
“Jackass.”
“Take the damn picture, Toudou.”
“I have to make sure I look okay first, hang on!”
Arakita groans, grabs the phone from him, and takes the picture before Toudou can even try to get the phone from him. “Here.” He tosses the phone back.
Toudou scowls, studying the picture. “It’s not completely horrible, but it’s blurry.”
“Who cares? She wants a picture, right? Just send her the damn thing. That should be enough until Saturday, right?”
“Fine, fine.” Toudou taps at his phone and tosses it aside after texting his cousin back. He looks up at Arakita. “I’m all done with my homework.”
“I’m quitting on mine for now.”
There’s a scoff and a light smack to his shoulder—Toudou’s way of chiding him for slacking off on it. “You’re so irresponsible.” But he grins. “Want to watch a movie until dinner?”
“Only if you promise not to talk the whole damn time.”
“I’ll make a conscious effort.”
That means it likely won’t happen, but Arakita still doesn’t refuse the offer, reaches over to grab the laptop off the bedside table. “Yeah.”
“Also, about Saturday...” Toudou settles down next to Arakita, leans his head against his shoulder. Arakita always makes an over-exaggerated effort to push him away, but lets it go in the end, doesn’t really mind.
“What now?”
“Well… we have to travel a bit.”
Oh no. This was not part of the deal. “What do you mean by a bit?”
“It’s two hours away.”
Toudou says two hours like it’s nothing, but it’s definitely something. The two of them in the car together for more than five minutes could bring about the damn apocalypse or something just as bad. “Why didn’t you say that before? I’m going to shove you off this bed, you fucking liar. I can never trust you again.”
“Maybe where you went wrong was trusting me in the first place.” Toudou laughs like it’s a joke. Asshole.
“This is the last time I do anything for you!”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
Even though he says he means it and starts protesting about having to do this in the first place, Arakita knows he’s still going to end up in a car bright and early Saturday morning with Toudou, taking a two hour trip to go and act like his fake boyfriend for a weekend.
When did he become so fucking weak?
…
“If you touch the radio one more time, I swear I’ll throw you out of this car!”
Toudou blatantly ignores the threat, pressing the button one more time and cranking up the already loud volume. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.”
Ten minutes. They’ve been in the car together for ten minutes and Arakita already wants to slam his head against the steering wheel. They still have a two hour drive to go. Two hours of actual, very real hell.
Toudou slaps his hand away when Arakita goes to turn down the radio. “No way! Focus on the road. I value my life, thank you.”
“Clearly you don’t because I’m going to kick you out of a moving car in about a minute.”
Toudou isn’t fazed by the threat at all, and leans back in the seat instead. “Please, Arakita, come up with a better plan. It’s impossible for you to kick me out of the car and drive at the same time.”
“Wanna bet?”
“I’ll take my chances.” At the very least, Toudou does turn down the radio. It doesn’t stop the annoying shitty music Toudou likes from playing, but it’s not blasting in Arakita’s ears anymore, at least.
They had borrowed Arakita’s father’s car to go on this trip, and honestly, Arakita can’t even believe he’s subjecting himself to this type of hell so early in the morning anyway. He deserves some sort of award for this, or acknowledgment at the very least.
Ha, there should be an award for it—the “I survived a two hour road trip with Toudou Jinpachi” award.
Although, he actually has to make it through the full two hours before he could even consider getting an award…
…
“You drive a car like you ride a bike,” Toudou huffs after about twenty minutes of bickering over the radio and the windows and whether or not he’s allowed to put his feet on the dashboard.
“The hell is that supposed to mean?!” Is it possible to break your fingers from gripping a steering wheel too tightly because that does not seem too far off from happening at this point.
“It means that you should let me drive because I’d rather not die at the hands of your speeding and recklessness!”
“Like hell I’d trust you driving my dad’s car. Tolerate my driving or walk!”
“Walking is beginning to seem like a better option every minute, honestly.”
“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
A fake laugh slips past Toudou’s lips as he leans back in the seat again, crossing his arms over his chest sullenly—pouting. “You’re hilarious.” After a brief pause, a golden moment of silence that ends way too quickly, he sits up straight again, gripping the seat tightly. “You’re driving way too fast, slow down!”
“I want to get there and out of this hell as soon as possible.”
The explanation is ignored, is followed by more complaints instead. “And you’re driving way too close to the car in front of us!”
“I know how to drive, mother. Quit telling me what to do!”
“Arakita, if I wasn’t fearing for my life and well-being right now, I’d kick your ass!”
“Ha! Like you could! I’d end you in less than two seconds.”
“The minute we get out of this car, I swear…”
“Bring it on!”
Toudou glares at him for a moment before he starts laughing. Then, Arakita is laughing too, and they’re both just sitting there, trapped in a car together for way longer than should ever be necessary, laughing at the threat of fighting each other.
When their laughter dies down, things do actually get a considerable amount calmer. Arakita slows down the car a little bit, and Toudou claims he’s going to try and sleep because it’s only eight in the morning and too early to be at each other’s throats.
In the end, Toudou’s nap, otherwise known as peace and quiet, only ends up lasting around half an hour at most until he wakes up and starts talking again. It’s not anything that perpetuates an actual fight, though. Just normal conversation, and of course, their usual back-and-forth, but there’s no anger or annoyance to it. Unlike the first bit of the trip, it seems they’ve gotten most of the yelling at each other out of the way.
Or not. Eventually, they end up bickering again over the radio, Arakita’s driving, basically anything that warrants a snide or petty comment gets one as a result, which starts up another round of bickering and driving each other crazy.
“Don’t touch my phone!” He reaches over to grab his phone from Toudou, but Toudou pulls it away before Arakita can grab it.
“Focus on the road, Arakita, not the phone!”
“I don’t want your gross hands on it.”
“Really mature. I didn’t know I was in the presence of a five year old. Hm, suddenly your driving makes sense.”
“Toudou, I swear I’ll…”
The unfinished threat is only met with a dismissive wave of Toudou’s hand. “Relax. I’m just checking directions. We’re almost there, and since you’re driving, messing up and missing a turn is very possible.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That directions are eternally more trustworthy than you. So keep your eyes on the road and I’ll tell you when to turn.”
He groans, but listens because if it gets them out of this car sooner, then it’s something worth listening to even if it is Toudou telling him what to do.
As they take the last few turns into the parking lot of a small hotel, Toudou begins fiddling with the button to open and close the window, continuously keeps pressing it. Maybe he’s anxious about doing this, about trying to outsmart his cousin, or maybe he’s just completely inconsiderate and annoying. Arakita doesn’t even really know anymore, and frankly, doesn’t give a shit either. He just wants to be out of the damn car.
“Well, we survived,” Toudou says with a smirk when Arakita finally parks the car. Who ever thought he would feel such overwhelming gratefulness for the existence of lines painted on the ground if they mean he can be free of being stuck in such close proximity with Toudou? “Shocking.”
“Shut up, pain in the ass. You’re the one who asked me to do this in the first place. Dig your grave and lie in it.” He opens the door and climbs out of the car, relieved to breathe in the late summer air and stretch his legs. Freedom.
“Wow. You have such a way with words, Arakita.” Toudou follows, getting out of the car as well. “How do you manage?”
“I have so much practice from dealing with your lame ass for the past three years.”
“Me? Lame? There’s no way.”
“There is. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
Toudou laughs, but stops, practically freezes when he sees someone walking toward him. “Oh…”
“Jinpachi!” The girl runs over and throws her arms around Toudou, hugging him tightly. “You’re here, finally.”
“Hi Miyako.” Toudou grins when he hugs her back, and Arakita feels out of place just standing there watching. Like he doesn’t belong. “It’s great to see you again.”
She nods, pushing her hair out of her eyes when she pulls away. “It’s been way too long! You need to visit more often.” The bright smile on her lips seems to transform into a smirk the moment she looks at Arakita, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she studies him. He looks away, fidgets slightly, unsure of what to do with her staring at him like that. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”
Toudou, suddenly at Arakita’s side, nudges his shoulder lightly—code for, “she’s talking to you. Answer now.”
“Uh… no, you’re fine.” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly, unsure of what to say. “Don’t worry about it.”
Miyako smiles again, maybe seems a little suspicious of everything, but looks otherwise content. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Arakita-kun. I hope you’ve been treating my cousin well.”
“Oh yeah. He’s… great.” Toudou looks like he wants to laugh, and Arakita considers kicking him in the shin and giving this whole thing away right now. But then that would make the road trip from hell a waste, so he’ll stick it out. “Nice to meet you too, uh…”
“Just Miyako is fine.” The way she dismissively waves her hand looks so similar to when Toudou does it, it’s scary. “Well, let’s go inside. You both are probably tired.”
They grab their things from the car, and follow her. It’s a relief to have that over and hopefully he’ll be able to sleep for at least a little bit without incident now. At least, that’s what Arakita thinks until Toudou starts nudging his shoulder. “Arakita,” he whispers, trying to avoid drawing Miyako’s attention.
“What?”
“Shouldn’t you hold my hand or something?”
He makes a face at the suggestion. “No way! That’s gross. I’m not doing it.”
“You’re supposed to be my boyfriend now. Act like it.”
After a little more grumbling he reluctantly reaches over and grabs Toudou’s hand. It feels weird, not like he’s expecting. Toudou’s hand is soft, maybe a little clammy from the summer heat, but the touch isn’t completely unpleasant. Annoying to have to do, but not something he absolutely has to get away from as soon as possible.
Toudou frowns, squeezing Arakita’s hand in what’s likely an effort to draw his attention. “You’re holding too tightly, idiot! And your hands are sweaty.”
“Quit complaining. You’re lucky I even agreed.” Still, he loosens his grip on Toudou’s hand a bit.
“Are you both alright?” Miyako doesn’t stop walking, but turns to look at them, a small smirk on her lips when she notices their hands. “Oh. Cute.”
Toudou switches the subject quickly, in an effort to draw attention away from them. “Anyway, when do we get to meet your boyfriend, Miyako?”
“He should be here by tonight. For dinner, hopefully. If not, then you’ll meet him tomorrow for sure.” The smirk that had been on her lips a moment before is now a faint smile accompanied by a soft look in her eyes. It’s like her whole expression changed at the mere mention of her boyfriend.
Is that what it’s like being in love? That look of fondness and the smile? Of being so enamored with someone that just the mention of them can make your whole demeanor change.
Arakita can’t imagine feeling like that about someone, or what it even would be like in the first place.
“Here’s your key.” Miyako says when they get inside the hotel. “My parents took care of everything, of course. Get some rest, and I’ll see you both later.”
“Sure. Thanks Miyako.”
“Of course.” Arakita can’t help but notice the mischievous glint in her eye, only there for a moment, but still hard to miss. Kind of like she’s planning something.
That can’t be good…
“It was nice to meet you, Arakita-kun!” She waves at them one last time. “I can’t wait to talk with you some more!”
“Uh… yeah, nice to meet you too.”
“Bye Miyako. See you later.” Toudou tugs on Arakita’s hand, pulls him toward the direction of their room.
It’s a relief to have that brief interaction over with. Of course, there will be more he’ll have to deal with the rest of the weekend, but hopefully by then he’ll be more on his toes and not exhausted from getting up so early and spending two hours in the car with Toudou.
As soon as they’re out of sight, Arakita moves to pull his hand away from Toudou’s, but Toudou won’t let go. “What the fuck? Let go.”
“She could be watching,” Toudou hisses, looking behind him like he’s afraid someone’s following. “Trust me, she seemed suspicious still. And besides, something like that is not beyond her. Wait until we get to the room.”
He groans. “Fine.”
The moment they do get inside the hotel room and the door is closed behind them, Arakita yanks his hand away from Toudou’s. That’s enough of that for one day. He needs to get away from everything for at least a little bit and sleep off that hell of a car ride.
(Actually, sleeping through the whole weekend would be ideal. Maybe there’s some way he can pull that off.)
When he walks further into the room, ready to flop on the bed immediately and sleep, the last thing he’s expecting is to see one bed instead of two.
One bed. One—
“Oh fuck no!”
“What are you yelling about now?” Toudou follows close behind him to the main part of the room, but stops short, nearly crashing into Arakita’s back when he notices that there’s only one double bed at the center of the room. “Oh…”
“Don’t just say oh! Fix it or something, moron!”
“I didn’t make the reservations! Miyako’s parents did and—” He trails off, looks as if he realized something. “Oh.”
Arakita is torn between laughing and wanting to slam his head against the wall. It’s like a bad joke. Not funny at all, yet he can’t stop laughing. “You know, I don’t know whether I should love your cousin for messing with you like this or if I should be pissed because it’s at my expense. You kind of deserve someone like that in your life, though. I’m fucking glad.”
“I have you. That should be enough.” Toudou nudges his shoulder, pushes past him to walk over to the bed. “I’ll try and take care of it, I guess. Maybe we can switch rooms.”
“Yeah. Do that.” Arakita flops onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow. “Meanwhile, I’m sleeping. Goodbye.”
“Um, excuse you. If we can’t get a room change, the bed is mine.”
As if.
Arakita lifts his head from the comfort of the pillow, turns to look at Toudou, who has made himself right at home sitting down cross-legged next to him on the bed. “Really Toudou? Really?”
“Do I look like I’m lying?”
“I don’t know. I’d rather not look at your face to find out.”
Toudou huffs in annoyance. “Please, everyone wants to look at my face. Keep lying to yourself, Arakita. Besides, I’m the one who’s had to suffer looking at your face for the past three years.”
He groans, rolling his eyes at the petty argument even though he knows it’s a dumb and overused joke by now. “Not this again. That argument is two years old. Leave it and get a new one.”
“Absolutely not. This is me forever getting revenge for you calling my headband lame way back when we first met.”
Toudou says it like he’s proud of his ‘revenge’ plot, and Arakita can’t help but laugh at how fucking stupid he sounds. “It’s only revenge if it actually hurts me, idiot. I don’t give a damn about your shitty opinion. Good try, but I don’t think revenge is gonna work out for you. Try getting a real hobby or something.”
“If I didn’t have to make this phone call right now, I’d probably punch you,” Toudou says with a laugh.
“Do it. I dare you. You can also watch me get up and leave you stranded here alone for the rest of the weekend.”
There’s no reply to that, but not because Toudou’s scared of the threat or angry. Because he’s laughing—an obvious sign that he doesn’t take Arakita’s threats seriously. A sign that maybe Arakita needs to stop making empty threats in the first place. “Go take your nap,” Toudou says, still laughing slightly when he pushes at Arakita’s shoulder. “I’ll call and see what I can do about the room.”
“Yeah, thanks.” He rolls over in the bed, away from Toudou and shuts his eyes, trying not to think about the possibility of sharing a bed.
…
Turns out, no surprise here, they can’t get a room change. The hotel is booked and a room change this late would be impossible. Cue bickering about who gets the bed that night that there really is no clear winner of.
Also turns out that the thought of getting to avoid everything for a while and not have to stress about pretending to be Toudou’s boyfriend by sleeping instead is also something that the universe won’t let Arakita have. Toudou explains that it’s only for a little bit, it will be fine, nothing to worry about.
He doesn’t mention that he can’t seem to let his cousin one-up him ever, and has to drink the alcohol she somehow manages to sneak over at dinner, a challenge in her eyes as she holds one out to Toudou.
It actually is funny to see Toudou get so riled up by Miyako, to see him so competitive and unwilling to let her beat him at anything. It’s just not as funny for Arakita and Miyako’s boyfriend, who sit there awkwardly watching their partners get tipsy and basically make fools of themselves.
Arakita considers dropping the whole act right then and there because Miyako is already suspicious of them, even more so when she’s drinking, and Toudou isn’t the best at keeping any secrets when he’s under any influence of alcohol.
This whole game could end in one instant, no matter what Arakita does, and no thanks to Toudou, who’s the one who started this all in the first place.
But it all ends up being okay. They manage to make it through the night, albeit after suffering through an extremely awkward dinner and being nearly discovered a few times, but if this is the worst they’ll face, maybe they can do this after all. Maybe they can pull it off.
“Okay. We’re back. Get changed, go to sleep. I don’t know.” Arakita moves to let go of Toudou, who he supported the whole way to their shitty hotel room with only one bed, but is suddenly pulled back in, Toudou’s arms wrapped securely around his neck in a hug, their chests pressed closely together. There’s barely any space between them at all, and Arakita isn’t sure what to do. Doesn’t—
“No. Don’t leave.” Toudou rests his forehead against Arakita’s shoulder, hugs him even tighter. “I’ll miss you.”
He rolls his eyes at the words because the way Toudou says it makes it seem like he’s leaving forever rather than just telling him to go to bed is overdramatic, but then again, a lot of what Toudou says is. Arakita doesn’t have the heart to push Toudou away, anyway. Maybe because Toudou’s tipsy and not completely in his right mind or coherent now.
Maybe he wouldn’t push Toudou away anyway, drunk or sober.
The hands he had put on Toudou’s waist to move him, suddenly are no longer gripping his hips tightly. Instead, he moves to return the hug, at least for a moment, sighing a little in practiced exaggeration that is so common at this point in their friendship. “I’m not going anywhere, stupid. I need to sleep too.”
Toudou has never handled alcohol well. It doesn’t take much to get him to the state of louder than normal, giggly, clingy, and overly honest. Arakita’s only ever experienced this a few times, but it’s funny, slightly annoying, and kind of endearing all at the same time when Toudou’s like this.
At least Toudou only seems a little tipsy tonight, nothing Arakita hasn’t seen before. It’s not even remotely close to the times Toudou has gotten really drunk.
Toudou finally lets go of him and goes to get ready for bed, a long and drawn out sigh accompanying the moment he let go of Arakita. “Fine, fine.”
It’s surprisingly silent while they get ready, which is unexpected because Toudou is always chatty, but especially so when he’s like this. The few moments of silence don’t last long, though, and Arakita is almost glad that they don’t because it feels so out of place.
“You’re not so bad, you know?” Toudou says once he’s changed and climbs into bed—falls into bed is actually probably the more accurate description, considering he tripped over a stray shoe lying on the floor and sort of face planted on the bed.
“I don’t know whether I should be angry or accept it as a compliment and call it a night.” This day has been way too long.
“No, no! I mean it!” Toudou sits up, grabs Arakita’s hand and yanks him onto the bed next to him. “You’re kind of cute when you sleep, Arakita… like more relaxed and calm. You should look like that more. You know, smile or something more often. Oh, that’s a good idea. Why didn’t I think of it sooner?”
He can’t help but laugh at Toudou’s non-stop musings, even though his face feels a little warm. Maybe because of the words, maybe because they’re lying so close together—Arakita just barely avoided falling on top of Toudou when the other had pulled him down onto the bed. “Wow, thanks, genius. I’ll have to remember to keep that in mind.”
“Please do. I definitely know what I’m talking about.”
He laughs and rolls over onto his back, vaguely noticing that Toudou hasn’t let go of his hand yet. “Sure you do. And because I’m ‘not so bad,’ here’s some advice for you. Take off the headband once in a while.”
“But it’s my trademark! I could never—”
“You’re so fucking weird!” Arakita has to clutch his stomach because he’s laughing so hard. Toudou is ridiculous to begin with, but give him any amount of alcohol and it’s ten times worse yet eternally funnier.
“I’m honest with you, and this is what I get in return? Wow.” Toudou hiccups before he laughs again—louder than normal, almost way too loud, but not angry at all. Genuine. “I meant what I said, you know. You’re not bad at all, really. You’re a good friend… my best friend. Thanks for doing this.”
“Toudou…” He turns to look at him, propping his head up on his elbow so he can see better. There’s a smile on Toudou’s lips. Not a stupid grin or a smirk, but a smile. A happy, content one. Arakita finds it impossible not to smile back. “Yeah, same goes for you. I guess.”
The I guess he tacks on at the end as a joke is completely ignored, as expected. “I know. You’re very lucky to have me.”
“Don’t push it.” He rolls his eyes, but is still smiling as he shoves Toudou’s shoulder gently. “Sleep. Dealing with you is enough of a pain in my ass, I don’t want to have to go through tomorrow with you and your family alone while you’re fucking hungover.”
Even though there had been no clear victor in their earlier fight over who would get the bed, Arakita moves to get up. One night on the floor isn’t going to kill him. At least, hopefully not.
But Toudou doesn’t let him leave, grabs onto his wrist tightly, a whiny lilt in his voice as he pleads, “No, stay!”
“I’m not sharing a bed with you. Let go.” He tries to pull his wrist away, but Toudou’s grip is tight.
“Arakita. Stay. Don’t sleep on the floor. That’s dumb.”
He groans, but lies back down next to Toudou. “This is a horrible idea.”
Another hiccup from Toudou. “Maybe, but we’ll still do it anyway, right?”
That makes him laugh because it’s true. Any horrible idea they think of always tends to end with them right in the middle of it, no matter how bad it is. And no matter how bad it does end up being, they have a good time. Usually.
This is kind of different, though. Especially considering that Arakita has a feeling Toudou would be the worst bed hog ever. He’d get little sleep regardless.
But still…
“Fine. Don’t blame me if I kick you off the bed for hogging it, though.”
Toudou starts laughing when he pulls Arakita down next to him, their shoulders brushing. “You wouldn’t. You love me too much to do that.”
“I really don’t,” he says, pushing at Toudou’s shoulder before he yanks the blankets Toudou had completely taken over, bringing them to his side of the bed.
Toudou hiccups, trying to pull the blankets back over to him. “I’m offended. What kind of boyfriend are you?”
“A fake one.” Arakita tugs at the blankets again. “Go to sleep already!”
“Oh. Yeah…” Toudou’s grip on the blankets isn’t as strong all of a sudden, but after the momentary lapse in their fight, he pulls them again.
It’s silent this time, though. Toudou rolls over onto his side, suddenly seeming satisfied with the amount of blankets he has covering him now, and faces away from Arakita. “Goodnight Arakita.”
Something sounds a little off with his voice, but Arakita doesn’t think much of it besides it being the exhaustion from the long day and maybe the lingering effects of the alcohol Toudou had at dinner.
It’s nothing more than that.
Toudou falls asleep almost immediately, which is slightly surprising because Arakita has been on the receiving end of hours long conversations in the middle of the night when he’s trying to sleep—Toudou barging into his room late on weekends, talking about whatever he needs to, Arakita usually too tired to do anything but listen and shoot back the occasional comment or piece of advice until they both end up falling asleep sprawled out on the floor or bed together.
He rolls his eyes, carefully pulling at the blankets one last time so Toudou doesn’t have all of them again. As he’s about to turn the lights off, though, he notices that Toudou left the headband in his hair. With a sigh, Arakita reaches over and pulls it off, tossing it onto the bedside table. It can’t be comfortable to sleep in.
He wasn’t lying before… when he said Toudou would look better without it. Toudou may never take his advice, especially about trivial matters like that, but Arakita never lies to him. At least in sincere moments like that.
“Idiot,” he murmurs quietly, still slightly unable to believe they’re in this situation in the first place. “Goodnight.”
He flips off the lights before facing away from Toudou and settling down to sleep.
…
“So, how long have you two been dating again?” Miyako’s smirk, while funny when it’s focused on Toudou and teasing him, is starting to annoy Arakita. It’s almost like he’s looking for way too much time at an even more mischievous version of her cousin. He’s used to Toudou, knows his quirks, knows what he can get away with and genuinely enjoys being around him despite the complaints.
Miyako is another story. Arakita only just met her, hasn’t had three years of practice and growing used to reading her. It’s unnerving, especially because she keeps glancing at them suspiciously, has been eyeing their every move since they got here.
“I told you, a few months,” Toudou explains, leaning closer and brushing his shoulder against Arakita’s like the gesture makes the lie true. “We’ve been teammates and friends since first year, though.”
Arakita wants to correct him and say that they definitely were not friends at first. That took time and a lot of bickering—and not the joking and playful harmless kind they do know—to find a level of trust and mutual understanding between them. But he keeps his mouth shut, not wanting to blow their cover.
“I’m just curious,” Miyako continues, tapping her chin, the thoughtfulness she’s trying to portray seeming fake and put on. “Because Jinpachi, you never shut up, especially when it’s something you’ve beaten me at. Why would you never say anything? It’s strange.”
“Well… Miyako…”
“I told him to keep it a secret,” Arakita cuts in. As much as he doesn’t want to sacrifice himself for this, of all things, it’s a game—and one he doesn’t want to lose, for that matter. He’ll take one for the team.
Toudou recovers quickly, thanks to Arakita’s save. He’d better thank him for all of this later. “Yeah, Arakita wasn’t ready for the whole world to know yet. We’ve only told a few people. He gets embarrassed easily, and me, being the great boyfriend I am, agreed to keep it quiet until we were both ready.”
That asshole. Still, Arakita forces what he hopes is a believable smile and grabs onto Toudou’s hand, squeezing it way too tightly—a message that he’ll pay for this later. “Yeah. What he said.”
Toudou looks at him, and the desire to tell Arakita off or step on his foot or rip his hand away is so obvious in his eyes, but he can’t do any of that unless he wants to give the whole lie away, so he forces a smile too. It’s accompanied with a gleam in his eye that Arakita recognizes as a look Toudou has whenever he’s planning something.
“I mean, I’m really popular with the girls at school, too. I wouldn’t want them taking out their disappointment that I’m off the market on my poor, unsuspecting boyfriend.”
“They probably wouldn’t have cared that much,” Arakita adds in, squeezing Toudou’s hand again. “They’d get over you soon enough. Maybe they’d even move onto Manami. He’s pretty popular too.”
Toudou laughs. “Yeah, maybe. But you know, you’re not that popular as it is, Arakita, they might have been offended that someone like you even had a chance with someone like me.”
Oh, it’s on now.
“Those aren’t my thoughts, of course,” Toudou continues. “It’s just what some petty high schoolers might think.”
Miyako doesn’t seem satisfied by their story, and takes a moment to smile at them. “Aw, that’s sweet. I wish I would have known sooner, though. We’re all friends here, after all.” She pauses. “So, how’d you get together?”
Dammit, they hadn’t discussed that.
But… revenge. This is the time.
“It was after a race,” Arakita says before Toudou can cut in. “He just came right over to me after we crossed the finish line and pulled me aside and kissed me.”
“Well… how could I resist, Arakita?” Toudou doesn’t even seem like he’s struggling that much to keep this up. What the fuck? “You’re just… so talented.”
Arakita tries not to laugh. “About time you acknowledged it.”
“Yes, well… let’s not forget about the time that you told me I’m the most beautiful and talented in the whole school… no, prefecture. No, country. Or was it universe?” Toudou smiles at him.
“I did—!” Toudou digs his nails into the back of Arakita’s palm, reminding him that they’re trying to beat Miyako right now, not each other. “I didn’t… want you to talk about that in front of your cousin.”
Miyako seems to be a mix of confusion, surprise, and amusement, her eyebrows furrowed as she looks between the two of them. She shakes her head, recovers. “No, no. It’s fine, Arakita-kun. I think it’s cute.”
It’s quiet for a moment, a heavy instance of awkward silence until she speaks again. “But like I said, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, you could even kiss in front of me, and I wouldn’t mind at all. Believe me.”
The way she emphasizes it, the statement laced with the suggestion, the implicit threat to do it, to prove that they really are a couple is obvious. So very obvious.
Toudou immediately turns red, lets go of Arakita’s hand and walks toward his cousin. “Miyako! You can’t just—”
She’s smirking while Toudou scolds her, a knowing look in her eyes. Like she doesn’t believe any of what they’ve said, any of this act. Like she never will.
Unless…
Arakita grabs Toudou’s face and kisses him.
That one moment of impulsivity feels like it drags on forever. Arakita notices every little thing—that Toudou tenses before he relaxes and returns the kiss, fingers curled into the back of Arakita’s shirt to hold him closer; the choked sound Miyako makes, one of surprise; how soft Toudou’s lips are, how kissing him isn’t really unpleasant at all.
The thought of what the fuck did I just do slowly fades away to nothing, a moment of clarity and rightness where he realizes this isn’t that bad. Isn’t bad at all.
But this is just a game. A game Arakita wants to win. He’s competitive, he likes to prove himself, to win. Victory—selling this lie of being a couple—to Miyako is the goal and Arakita always wants to reach the goal no matter what.
It’s nothing he needs to get used to. Once he’s won, the game is over. Once he’s won there’s no going back.
The tiny prick of What if I don’t want it to be? is easy enough to push away. It’s just the rush that comes with winning, something he’s always felt burning in his chest and ready to burst when he’s achieved something. This is no different.
It’s just not sending their ace across the finish line this time. This time, it’s making sure his weekend didn’t go to waste if their act, Toudou’s stupid stunt, is discovered.
When they pull apart, Toudou is looking at him, surprised, but he’s also smiling. “Arakita, you—”
“It’s fine.” He smiles too, and he can’t even say it’s a little bit forced because that would be a lie. “I’m your boyfriend, right?”
“Right.” Toudou nods, turns his head to look at Miyako, who is standing before them with a look of disbelief on her face. Like everything she’d thought had been shattered in one instant. “Satisfied now?”
She closes her mouth and nods. “Yes. I told you there was nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Yeah, guess you’re right.” Toudou nudges Arakita’s shoulder, smiling brightly.
It feels nice. Right. Like he really has won something.
“Well… I’ll leave you two alone. I wouldn’t want to intrude anymore. Bye!” She waves, and is off with a smile.
The way Toudou looks at him is strange, like he’s trying to figure something out yet simultaneously knows it all. It’s freaking him out. “What?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t think…”
“Yeah, well. Neither did I.” Arakita shrugs, finally taking a step away from Toudou, eliminating the once nonexistent distance. “You owe me big time. Like, for the rest of your life.”
“Yeah…”
Arakita turns away, maybe because he doesn’t understand the sudden falter in Toudou’s smile, maybe because he doesn’t want to see that in the first place. “Come on, let’s eat something. I’m starving.”
When Toudou doesn’t follow, he looks back. “Hey, Toudou, are you—?”
“I’m fine!” he says quickly, moving to Arakita’s side again like everything is fine. Like it’s normal to kiss your best friend and have this sort of awkward exchange after. “I’m still trying to get over what a horrible kisser you are.”
Arakita scoffs and pushes his shoulder. “Asshole. Next time, don’t ask for my help, then.”
Toudou laughs, and their arms bump against each other as they walk away together. “You never change, Arakita.”
“Like you do?”
Relief settles, calm and comfortable in his chest. This doesn’t change anything. They’re still the same. Nothing will change.
It doesn’t have to.
…
“I have to admit, I was wrong.”
Arakita looks next to him to find Miyako standing there, arms crossed over her chest and a little too close for his liking. He’s torn between feeling safer since Toudou has left him alone for a few minutes to talk to another relative, or vulnerable without him to stand by him throughout this lie.
“About what?” It’s kind of obvious what she’s referring to, but he’ll play dumb. That’s a better plan so he doesn’t give anything away.
“You. Or… you and my cousin, I should say.” She laughs. “I honestly thought this was all a lie since he never once mentioned having a boyfriend before. I was waiting for either of you to mess up so I could catch you, but you proved me wrong.”
Hell yeah we did, he thinks triumphantly back to Miyako’s shocked expression when they kissed. It made this whole weekend worth it, especially since she’s been convinced they’re lying and trying to out them.
She’s right, of course, but no one has to know that. No one should know that.
“Yeah, well… we’ve got no reason to.” He looks over at Toudou, not far away and laughing with who he’s talking to. He looks bright, per the usual. Toudou’s always like that. He commands attention without really having to try, so much so that it’s difficult to avoid being pulled in.
Look what had happened with them. One day Arakita’s insulting Toudou only to be his best friend two years later. There’s no leaving now—not that he’d want to, no matter how much he may say otherwise.
“You’re smiling.”
Arakita looks at Miyako again, surprised by the sudden statement. “What?”
“At my cousin. You’re smiling at my cousin.”
He hadn’t even realized he had been. “Is that surprising?”
“No. I just… you really do like him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do… he’s my boyfriend.”
(When had that become so easy to say? When did the lie become so effortless?)
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
She rolls her eyes, heaves a dramatic sigh. “If only everyone weren’t so inept and could pick up on things as quickly as I do, the world would be a better place.”
“The hell is that supposed to mean?”
“There’s no fun in it if I tell you.” She smiles, that glint Arakita’s grown used to seeing back in her eyes. It reminds him so much of Toudou, it’s scary.
How the hell had he gotten stuck dealing with this?
“Half of the game is figuring it out yourself, Arakita-kun.”
“Okay?” Her words don’t really make sense to him, but he’ll just play along. That’s really all he can do at this point.
“I suppose I don’t really need to say this, but…” She takes a step closer to him, the smile on her face gone now. It’s replaced with a fierce look in her eyes, a serious one, as she grabs his sleeve and holds on tight. “Don’t hurt Jinpachi. I’m horrible about holding grudges, and I won’t be so forgiving if you break his heart.”
He just nods, not needing to say that he’ll probably never see her again after this. The game is over once they leave. All they need is a story about a fake breakup sometime after, a mutual decision they came to, and the whole heist will have been completely successful. Goal met. They win.
“Miyako, what are you doing?”
Both of them turn to see Toudou, looking at them confused.
“We were just talking, Jinpachi.” She smiles again, finally letting go of Arakita’s sleeve and stepping back. “Right, Arakita-kun?”
What the fuck, her whole demeanor had changed in one instant.
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
Toudou doesn’t look convinced, but nods, moving to stand by Arakita’s side. “Maybe don’t scare my boyfriend away, Miyako. I don’t know if I’d forgive you for that.”
She laughs. “You don’t have to worry about me, Jinpachi. I’ll behave myself.”
It’s quiet for a moment before she finally says, “I’m glad you’re happy. Really, I am.”
Happiness… is that what this is? The comfort, the easiness of it all?
Of course it is, Arakita reminds himself, wanting to kick himself in the ass for thinking anything otherwise. Toudou is his friend. His best friend. He’s grown so used to his presence and spending time together, and it’s something he enjoys.
Maybe not at first, but Toudou has slotted right into his life like he belongs. And that’s something Arakita likes about him, about them. Toudou may be high maintenance and dramatic and sometimes annoys him to no end, but he’s still someone Arakita can’t imagine his life without.
He doesn’t know what these three years would have been like without Toudou bickering with him, barging into his room like it’s his own, dragging him along on rides he claims he doesn’t want to go on, nagging him to eat right and do his homework and take care of himself.
And he doesn’t want that to change. He doesn’t want it to end.
Of course he’d be happy, content, comfortable around Toudou, even when they’re trying to pull off a lie like this. That’s what they’ve built between them.
That’s what will remain, no matter what.
…
“Did you see her face? That was perfect!” Toudou’s smiling, laughing about his cousin’s reaction to their kiss at the party. “I was trying not to laugh at her and give it away!”
“Yeah.” Arakita’s laughing too, thinking back to a few hours ago. It had been a very sudden decision to grab Toudou and kiss him after Miyako had, in so many words, asked them to. It was stupid, but it wasn’t bad—not like anything Arakita had ever imagined kissing Toudou would be like.
(Of course, he’s never considered it, though. There had been no reason to until now.)
And besides, the look on Miyako’s face—the smug smile and mischievous glint in her eyes faltering to surprise and then, defeat, as she realized that her suspicions that the whole being a couple story was a lie, were proven wrong.
Maybe he’d even kiss Toudou again—at the very least for a reaction like that. For that overpowering feeling of triumph in his bones and rushing through his veins, like it was a victory.
Wait, what?
“You’re a horrible kisser, though, Arakita!” Toudou continues. “Who taught you? Or, don’t tell me, you’ve never been kissed before?”
He can feel his face burning, knows Toudou sees it too as he catches the smile on his lips out of the corner of his eye. But he’s not going to give Toudou any satisfaction of getting under his skin, and scoffs.
“Me? What about you? It’s not like you’re the first person I’d choose to kiss!”
“Ah, but I was. Don’t lie to make yourself feel better, Arakita. I know it’s hard for you to admit that I’m a good kisser, but—”
“You’re not. Don’t flatter yourself.” He looks away from Toudou and back at the road, gripping the steering wheel tightly, his heart racing for some unknown reason—from the adrenaline rush, maybe.
“Someone’s touchy. Did I hit a sore spot?”
“Yeah, right. You think you’re any better than I am?”
“I know I am!”
“Sure, keep telling yourself—”
The words die in the space between them, and Arakita doesn’t even really know what’s happening besides that Toudou is grabbing onto his shirt, pulling him in closer, closer.
He kisses him.
There’s a few things Arakita thinks of doing, all within that split second.
One is shoving Toudou away and yelling at him.
Another is slamming on the brakes to the car, halting it completely, kind of like his heart has stopped pounding the instant Toudou kissed him.
The third is kissing him back.
Being the epitome of logic and famous for making decisions he may regret later, Arakita chooses the third.
It doesn’t last long. They break apart only a few seconds later, Arakita looking back at the road and narrowly avoids veering off of it in the moment he hadn’t been focused on anything but Toudou.
“What the fuck. Toudou?! Do you want me to crash the damn car?”
“Arakita—”
“I kind of don’t want to die right now! What the hell were you thinking, you moron?!”
“Arakita!”
He stops yelling, noticing the seriousness of Toudou’s tone. “What?”
“Pull the car over.”
“What the hell? Why would I—?”
Toudou leans in closer, so close that Arakita can feel his breath on his face. “Arakita. Pull the car over.”
This is a horrible idea, he thinks, but does it anyway.
This is the worst idea I’ve ever had, he thinks, but looks at Toudou who is suddenly leaning over in his seat, closer and closer to Arakita, who grabs him by the face with a mutter of “You’re wrong,” and kisses him again.
This is normal. This is what we always do, except with kissing. This is the same, he thinks, but kisses Toudou back with a fervor of someone motivated by something other than the competitiveness of proving their best friend wrong.
This doesn’t mean anything, he thinks, but doesn’t realize how wrong the words feel when they’re not spoken aloud, when they’re only left to stew in the contents of his mind.
…
“So this is it.”
“What do you mean?” Toudou looks surprised when Arakita parks the car in his driveway, doesn’t seem like he’s expecting the inevitable words that they both knew were coming the moment this scheme ended.
“I mean that it’s over. We’re breaking up now, aren’t we?” He leans back against the seat, still a little thrown off by Toudou’s confusion. “Uh… fake breaking up, I guess?”
“Oh.” Toudou looks down at his lap. “Yeah, of course.”
“I’m surprised you’re not cheering. It’s over, we’re free. We survived.”
Toudou looks up again, and he’s smiling. But it feels wrong.
Why does it feel wrong? Why isn’t he laughing or teasing Arakita like usual? They’re supposed to bicker back and forth about it, maybe laugh a little until Toudou gets out of the car and goes inside.
So why is he sitting here in the car still, so subdued?
“Don’t tell me, you’re going to say my kissing was so bad that you can’t fucking move or even think of a way to insult me.” He barks out a laugh, waiting for Toudou’s confirmation. “You’re so predictable!”
“What would I do if you didn’t have me all figured out?” Toudou moves to open the car door. “Well… I doubt I’ll ever be kissing you again, Arakita.”
“Yeah, same goes to you.”
Toudou laughs, but it sounds strangled almost. He brushes against Arakita’s arm for a brief moment right before he gets out of the car. “Thanks for doing this.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t that bad. Don’t forget you owe me, though!”
Toudou doesn’t laugh like Arakita expects him to, or pretend like they never made that deal in the first place. “You’re so oblivious. I swear, you have no brain, Arakita.” He grabs his bag, only sparing Arakita a quick wave and a smile that seems more forced than anything else as he turns to go inside. “I’ll see around.”
He doesn’t argue about Toudou insulting him. “Yeah. See you.”
Toudou walks inside, and Arakita frowns, not sure why that exchange turned out the way it did.
Whatever, it was a long weekend. Everything will be fine. Toudou will be calling or texting him within a few hours. They’ll be back to normal at school next week.
Like always.
…
Toudou doesn’t call or text him.
In fact, Arakita doesn’t hear from him until he sees him in the hallway at school Monday morning, surrounded by a small group of girls.
Even then, when they talk it feels different than before. Like Toudou is forcing himself to smile or laugh, like he’s acting like they’re strangers rather than best friends.
Arakita doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand why Toudou is suddenly avoiding him like he’s contagious or something. It’s not like he’s done anything different.
Toudou barely talks to him more than he has to, doesn’t show up to Arakita’s room unannounced, doesn’t call him or text him.
And as much as Arakita doesn’t want to admit that to Toudou, to cave in and tell him that he’s won and that Arakita doesn’t like whatever game he’s playing or the point he’s trying to prove and that he misses him, he feels weird, empty almost, without Toudou around like usual.
It’s not the same, spending time with Shinkai and Fukutomi—who he has started to notice do act like a couple ever since Toudou mentioned it—without Toudou there too. It feels incomplete. It doesn’t feel right.
After about four days of whatever this is, Arakita decides he’s tired of it and is going to tell Toudou off. He finds Toudou alone during their lunch break, leaning against the wall by the club room and on the phone. Of course.
“Maki-chan, I’m just saying that—” Toudou stops midsentence when he turns and sees Arakita standing in front of him. He looks upset. “Oh… Arakita…”
“Don’t act so surprised!” He feels anxious all of a sudden, not sure where this is going to go. “We need to talk.”
“It’s rude to interrupt someone’s phone calls,” Toudou murmurs distastefully, and it almost, almost feels like they’re back to normal again, that the level of familiarity is back rather than this unknown and confusion of the past few days. “But fine.”
He talks quietly—which is a rarity in itself—with Makishima for a moment longer, quiet enough that it’s difficult for Arakita to hear him and what he does pick up on doesn’t make any sense to him, before he says goodbye and promises to call again later.
Once he hangs up the phone, Arakita doesn’t wait. “What did I do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve been ignoring me and acting fucking weird ever since we got back. It’s annoying! What did I do to piss you off?”
“You actually care?” Toudou laughs, bitter. “Shocking.”
That pisses Arakita off. “What the hell, Toudou? You know I care. I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t!”
“Thanks for your consideration, Arakita. I feel honored.”
He throws his hands up, frustrated now. “I’m your fucking friend, moron. Quit acting like something’s changed!”
“Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I want it to.”
What? What the hell is that supposed to—?
“Oh, I get it. You use me for a weekend to play pretend and then I’m suddenly not good enough?” He scoffs, turning away from Toudou, not wanting to let him see how much that, the thought of no longer being friends, hurts. “You should have just fucking said so instead of—”
Toudou grabs his wrist, turns him back to face him. “Arakita, I know it’s really hard for you to understand anything that’s not explicitly said to you, but come on! Think about it!”
He frowns, trying to do that. The only thing he can think of is last weekend. “Is this about last weekend?”
Toudou gasps. “A correct answer? Who would have thought?”
“Fuck you, Toudou. You’re the one playing games here, not me!” He sighs angrily, runs a hand through his hair. “Why the fuck did you ask me anyway? If I knew you’d act like this, I would’ve said no.”
“What makes you think anything but the initial story is true?” Toudou asks bitterly. “I needed a date. You were available.”
“Yeah, fine. I’ve got that. But any of us would have done it for you, even if they were busy or it’s the last thing they wanted to do. We’re all your friends. Why me out of everyone?”
Toudou shrugs, looks down at his feet like he doesn’t want to answer that.
Arakita feels so out of his element right now, is unsure of how to act when Toudou isn’t loud and confident and filling moments of silence like this, when he isn’t falling into their usual, comfortable routine of banter and laughter. Being ignored these past few days has been annoying; he misses Toudou. He may not ever say it aloud, but Toudou is important to him. Arakita enjoys his presence and company and friendship. If they no longer have that, Arakita won’t know what to do.
“We’re graduating soon, you know?” Toudou finally mutters after a moment, quiet, voice barely there. “I never really thought about it until after Interhigh and Maki-chan left, but we’ll all be going our separate ways these next few months and I don’t want…”
When Toudou looks up, Arakita thinks his eyes might be a little watery… like there are tears in them.
“I’ll miss you. I’ll miss all of you, but… but I’m really going to miss you, Arakita.”
He frowns. That’s what this is about? Their impending graduation? “Toudou, don’t be stupid. Just because we graduate doesn’t mean I’m going to stop caring about you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily! Hell, even if I wanted to get away, you’d probably never let me.”
Toudou laughs a little at that, wiping his eyes. But he freezes when Arakita steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder. “Arakita—”
“Is that all that’s wrong?”
Silence.
And then:
“I wanted to spend more time together. And… when the opportunity presented itself, I thought that maybe I’d get over this… this stupid feeling. I didn’t expect to make it worse by…”
“By what? What feeling?”
“You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?” He pulls away from Arakita, anxious. “I like you, okay? I thought that if I had a weekend to get the idea of it out of my head by living it, I’d be fine. I’d get over you. Maybe I’d even realize what a bad boyfriend you’d be and stop feeling this way. But I only made it worse.”
“W-what?”
Toudou likes him?
Toudou likes him.
Oh. Oh.
There’s a sniffle, and Toudou wipes his eyes with his sleeve again, murmurs, “Sometimes when you looked at me, or when you smiled, or held my hand, or kissed me… I thought it was real. I wanted that. I wanted more of it.”
“Why would you—?” He still doesn’t know what to say, his mind moving way faster than he can process. “Me? Why do you like—?”
Toudou waves his hand dismissively. “Somewhere down the line it happened, and I decided to chase after it. It’s fine. I don’t expect you to feel the same, Arakita. It’s just a dumb crush anyway, I’ll manage. I hope this won’t change anything, can you at least tell me that?”
But this changes everything.
He wants to say something more than the, “It’s fine. Of course nothing will change, idiot,” that feels like a response someone selected for him, like he’s a mindless character in a videogame rather than someone in full control of this thoughts and actions, making the choice on his own. “You’re still my best friend.”
The nod Toudou gives him, the smile of relief, before they separate to go back to their classes, should be the end. There should be no weight on Arakita’s shoulders after that. They’ll still be friends, they still have a few months together before they’re no longer by each other’s side every single day.
The game hasn’t changed.
But why does it feel like it has?
…
“Are you okay, Yasutomo?”
“What?” He looks up at Shinkai, sitting across from him at the table they’ve chosen to work at a few days later, confused by the sudden question. “Why would you think I’m not?”
Shinkai shrugs. “You seem… on edge, I guess.”
Arakita frowns. “Well, I’m not! Mind your own business.”
They’re quiet, then, until Arakita can no longer bear it anymore and figures that asking someone about the confusion and conflicted feelings he’s had ever since speaking with Toudou the other day is a good idea. Shinkai is good at this stuff, anyway—advice and feelings and understanding people.
“Hey… hypothetically speaking, say your friend told you something that’s kind of a big deal.”
“Which friend?” Shinkai is smiling like he knows where Arakita is going with this, and Arakita seriously considers throwing his pen right at his forehead. “And what did they tell me?”
Okay, fine. He’ll play along that way, then. “Fine, say Fuku-chan told you he liked you. As in… ‘want to date you’ like you.”
“He already has.”
“Oh my god.” Arakita bangs his forehead on the table, laying there for a moment and thinking that maybe if he never gets up everything will be okay. Or maybe if he hits his head hard enough he’ll end up back in the universe he belongs. One where Toudou doesn’t throw love confessions at him like a brick to the face, perhaps?
He finally looks up, though, knowing that’s not possible, but still directs a glare at Shinkai. “Hey, Shinkai, has anyone maybe told you that you’re kind of an ass?”
“Just you, Yasutomo,” he answers with a laugh.
“Great. Wow. I’m glad.”
“Are we still going to be hypothetical, then?”
“Fuck, I don’t know.” He sighs, resting his head on his hands. “Fine, what did you… uh, would you do when you started—” Arakita waves his hand around, not sure of how to finish it.
“Dating?”
“Yeah. That.” He bites his lip, thinking of what he wants to ask, why he’s even asking this in the first place. “How did you know you liked each other?”
Shinkai smiles, happy, fond, and looks like he’s reminiscing about it. Is this what being old is like? One moment your whole life is ahead of you and the next you’re just remembering the past before you move on? “It just sort of happened naturally.”
“Helpful.”
“That is what happened, though. We’ve always enjoyed being around each other, and have for years, and it just felt right, I guess. You know, like feeling happy and comfortable with someone and it just shifts to being more than friends.”
“You’re boring.” Arakita sighs. “Why did I expect anything more than that?”
“I can’t answer that.” Shinkai pauses for a moment, before adding, “So, is this about you and Jinpachi?”
“What?!” Arakita shoots up in his seat, suddenly feeling way more embarrassed than he’d like to admit. “Why would you think that?”
He laughs at Arakita’s reaction, but there’s a smile on his lips like he knows, like he understands. “He told me about what happened between you two the other day. But even if he hadn’t, it’s not hard to figure out. You’re happy when you’re around each other, aren’t you? It doesn’t seem like that sometimes, but anyone who knows the two of you knows better than that.”
“So, what does that have to do with anything?”
“Nothing. I’m just saying that sometimes I don’t even think you notice how much you and Jinpachi smile and laugh when you’re together.”
“Do we?”
“You do. All the time.”
He hasn’t realized. Yeah, he’s felt it, has known he feels comfortable and happy and like he’s having fun when he’s around Toudou, but he’s never really thought of it as so obvious to everyone around them.
Of course he cares about Toudou. Toudou is his best friend. And he can’t really imagine anything but that. He can’t picture himself doing stupid things that are dumb and maybe not the best decisions, with anyone but Toudou. Things like racing around campus to just settle an argument even though a bad storm was about to start; choosing to work together on a science project back in second year; that time they bickered about who could stay up later and ended up awake all night when they had early practice the next morning; pulling a car over to have a competition over who’s a better kisser; pretending to be dating—all, in theory, horrible ideas, yet all things Arakita doesn’t forget or regret.
They’ve had a wild run together these past three years. And honestly, he never would have thought that upon meeting Toudou the two of them would become such good friends, that he’d enjoy his presence and would feel slightly lost if he didn’t have Toudou to bicker with or do homework with or just spend time with. Exist with.
He’ll miss this. He’ll really miss this once they no longer will be able to see each other every day, when their friendship will suddenly be not limited to, but characterized by phone calls and texts.
Text banter, while fun, isn’t the same as watching the annoyed look on Toudou’s face when they shoot insults back and forth. It isn’t the same as seeing him get way too hung up in their heat of the moment bickering, his hands on his hips, trademark grin on his lips.
Fuck. He never really thought about how much he’d miss Toudou. Of course, he’s known he would. He’ll miss them all. Toudou, Fukutomi, Shinkai, all of Hakone really. High school has been a good run, and moving on seems both surreal and daunting.
And maybe that’s something he doesn’t want to lose. Maybe he’s afraid of what it will be like without it. Maybe he always wants to have Toudou by his side. Maybe he wants to continue getting into trouble and laughing about it until they can’t laugh anymore. Feeling comfortable. Feeling happy, feeling right. Together.
Does he like Toudou Jinapchi? Does he want to kiss him again? Does that feeling he’s felt bits and pieces of all last weekend something he wants to feel again? Wants to feel always?
Somehow, things always fall into place when they’re together. Arakita likes that. He likes that there’s never a dull moment with Toudou, that no matter how much they bicker or disagree they’ll always find their way back to each other.
“You don’t have to rush into anything, Yasutomo,” Shinkai says when he doesn’t answer after a moment. “Just take the time to think about what you want, and you’ll figure everything out.”
What if that’s Toudou? What if that’s the smiles and laughs and fondness he feels with Toudou? Because when he thinks about it, really thinks about it, he likes those feelings. He likes feeling that way with Toudou, because of Toudou. He’s just never really attributed those things, has never attributed feeling right, or fitting so perfectly to Toudou. Not until recently.
But he thinks that’s a feeling he wouldn’t want to trade. One that he could easily welcome now that he’s open to it and has considered it.
Half of the game is figuring it out yourself, huh? That’s what Miyako had said. Maybe this is what it’s like to figure it out. Maybe his heart is supposed to pound like he’s just raced for miles even though he hasn’t done anything besides thinking. Maybe that’s what happens when you pretend to date your best friend for a weekend and actually end up realizing you may like them beyond the friendship you have.
“And if you think you know what you want you should do something about it, right?”
“That’s the advice I’d give.” Shinkai smiles, as if he’s realized what Arakita is getting at. “And I’d also say good luck.”
Arakita grabs his things and stands up. “Who says I’m going to do anything? We’re being hypothetical, remember?”
He laughs as Arakita turns to leave. “Right. How could I forget?”
“That’s not as surprising as you make it seem.” He waves at Shinkai. “See you later. And thanks.”
“Any time, Yasutomo. Good luck!”
“Hypothetical!” he calls over his shoulder as he walks away, but can’t stop himself from smiling, even as he hears Shinkai laughing at him.
…
“Hey.”
Toudou jumps, and for a moment it seems like he’s going to fall of his bike until he regains his balance. He meets Arakita’s eyes with a glare. “Who taught you to sneak up on someone like that, Arakita?!”
“I have this friend, you know? Pretty loud and annoying, always going on and on about how his climbing is so quiet it can take anyone by surprise.” He grins. “You probably know him pretty well.”
Toudou scoffs. “Your friend sounds pretty amazing. You should probably appreciate him more.”
Arakita rolls his eyes. “Maybe I’ll think about it. Anyway, do you care if I join you?”
“If you can keep up!” Toudou races ahead of him without warning.
“Asshole!” Arakita pedals to catch up with him, grumbling loudly about the Toudou’s head start while the other laughs.
The smile is impossible to hold back, especially as he thinks about how this, them, does feel natural. How it feels right and always has. How he realizes that now.
They stop later to take a break, Toudou bragging about how he won, while Arakita just leans against the railing on the edge of the mountain overlooking the view before them.
“This was nice,” Toudou says after a moment, standing close enough that their shoulders brush. “I wasn’t sure that everything would be okay the other day after… well, after… you know.”
“Yeah…” I missed you, he wants to say, but doesn’t. There are more important things to move forward with than dwelling on that. “So you meant all of that? About liking me? It wasn’t a joke?”
“Does that really seem like a type of joke I’d play, Arakita? Who do you think I am?”
“I’m just checking, jeez.” He turns to face Toudou, looking at the ground for a moment before he looks at his face. “I didn’t mind it.”
“What?”
“Last weekend. Pretending. I didn’t mind it. Liked it even, I guess. It just… took some time to admit that to myself.”
“That’s really not all that surprising,” Toudou says with a laugh. “You’re not the best at realizing what’s going on even if it’s right in front of your face. Oblivious.”
Arakita rolls his eyes, pushes Toudou’s shoulder gently. “What if I told you I wanted to start over?”
“I might play along, depending on what you had in mind.”
There are a lot of things Arakita could do here, decisions he could make all in this one moment.
One is stumbling through an apology and a confession.
Another is simply forgetting all of this and walk away now, avoiding complicating things further despite the revelation that yeah, he likes Toudou too.
The third is kissing Toudou. Right here, right now.
Driven by everything he knows now, everything that feels right, everything he wants and knows he won’t regret, he chooses the third, takes Toudou’s face in his hands and kisses him.
It’s pleasant, right, fits exactly into place, and Arakita thinks he could easily get used to this—kissing Toudou—and falling into this new routine.
“Arakita?” Toudou seems surprised when they break apart. Happy, but surprised, as if this was the last thing he’d been expecting. “Are you—?”
“I like you too, idiot. I guess it just took some time to figure that out.”
Toudou laughs, holds onto Arakita tightly, like he doesn’t want to let go. “I’m glad there’s some hope for you after all, Arakita.”
“I can turn around and pretend this never happened, Toudou.”
“Sure you can. Good luck.” He laughs, smiles brightly. Arakita finds it impossible not to do the same. “Your kissing still needs major work.”
“Yeah? So does yours.”
“Good thing we’ve got plenty of time to practice.”
Arakita grins, leans forward to kiss him again, but stops when he realizes something he’s forgotten about after being caught up in all the drama this week. “Hey! You still owe me dinner! Was this your plan to make me forget that—?”
“Always thinking of your stomach.” Toudou rolls his eyes but leans forward, kisses him again. “I’ll buy you your dinner, but only if you agree that it’s a date.”
A date. Yeah, that doesn’t sound so bad. Not at all.
“Yeah, I think I can live with that.”
When he kisses Toudou again, it feels just as good as crossing any finish line, as winning something.
Maybe he has won.
Maybe they both have.