Work Text:
Fandom
: A Song of Ice and Fire
Main Pairing
: Ned Stark/Catelyn Stark
Warnings
: alternate universe; het; family drama; honorable Ned Stark; and Catelyn Stark is trying to be better
Prompt
: (Word) Knot
Summary : In which Lady Catelyn Stark tried to keep her word.
Honor in the Deed
285 AC
Three days after Maester Luwin proclaimed Jon Snow was recovered, Lady Catelyn Stark approached her husband’s solar with her shoulders straight and her head held high. She had a promise – a vow – to keep. Her own pride had delayed it a few days, but she would see it through.
She swore to the Seven – and the Old Gods – that she would see the boy raised with a name and a mother’s love if he survived. By the grace of the Gods, Jon Snow did life.
Catelyn’s stomach knotted at the thought of that boy becoming Jon Stark and being eligible for inheriting the North and Winterfell behind Robb – and ahead of her other sons’. For the last two days, she prayed in her Sept. If he became Jon Stark, there would be nothing stopping him from killing Robb to inherit everything . After all, bastards were born of sin, making them evil and taunted.
Those thoughts were chased away with memories of Jon, alone and crying as he approached the Stranger. Catelyn remembered the way Robb cried and begged, pleading for Jon to be better.
It wasn’t Jon’s fault he was born, and it wasn’t his fault that Ned betrayed her. Jon was only a reminder – a bitter reminder. Before Jon caught the pox, Catelyn was ashamed to admit that she prayed for his death. She changed her mind when he became sick with the pox. Instead, she prayed to save him, vowing to include him in her family and she would try to love her husband’s son.
Stopping outside her husband’s solar, Catelyn took a moment to collect her thoughts. How would she explain her change of heart regarding the boy? With a small shake of her head, she corrected herself. It was Jon , not the boy or the bastard. Jon was her husband’s son and her children’s brother.
The answer to her question was simple and it was a variation of the truth. Catelyn would never confess to praying for the death of Jon – not to anyone. She would keep it simple. It wasn’t until Jon caught the pox and Maester Luwin grimly explained that he might not last the night that Catelyn came to realize how much Jon meant to her children, and while she might not care for him, he was the brother of her children and they needed each other.
Before she could change her mind, Catelyn nodded on the door. She had briefly considered bringing up Jon’s legitimization early while they were breaking their fast, but she had decided against it. Jon was still sleeping in the maester’s chambers, and Catelyn knew Robb would rush to tell his brother.
“Come in,” called the voice of her lord husband.
Catelyn took a deep breath as she pushed the door open.
Ned Stark’s eyes lit up at the sight of her. His expression remained impassive. He was seated behind his desk with scrolls, parchment, and books laid out with his steward, Vayon Poole, and Maester Luwin. It was likely they were preparing for winter.
“My husband,” she greeted with a small smile, closing the door behind her, “we have much to discuss.”
He tilted his head slightly. “What do we have to discuss?” he asked.
“Jon,” she answered, forcing herself to use his name. It was proving to be very difficult.
Her husband frowned.
The expression on Vayon’s face darkened a little while Maester Luwin’s eyes narrowed.
“As I have told you,” her husband began, “I will not send the boy away. He is of my blood.”
Irritation filled Catelyn. She wasn’t going to ask that, just the opposite in fact, but she did understand her husband’s reaction. Before Jon caught the pox, she had regularly inquired about sending him away.
“I wish to have a different discussion,” she told him, her voice cold.
That caught Ned’s attention as well as Vayon’s and the maester’s.
Taking a deep breath, Catelyn declared, “I wish to legitimize him. Jon is your son, and he should carry your name.”
The dual expressions of shock on Vayon’s and Maester Luwin’s face filled her with pleasure and pride.
However those feelings disappeared as she looked upon her husband. Her husband was difficult to read, his solemn expression. She knew his eyes often held answers. At this moment, his eyes were narrowed and they were a darker shade of gray. He remained quiet.
Reaching into her pocket, Catelyn’s fingers curled around the folded piece parchment she had started writing a letter on. It was mostly ramblings on the Gods and miracles, and her realizing Jon deserved his father’s name and a proper place in their family.
Silence filled the solar as Catelyn stared down at her husband.
Vayon and Maester Luwin exchanged glances before they each busied themselves with a scroll.
As the silence continued, tension started to grow.
“Why now?” Ned asked, his voice neutral and steady. His eyes remained narrowed. “You don’t care for him.”
Catelyn flinched at his words. That was true, and it was something she hadn’t hid. She carefully considered her next words. “I still don’t,” she admitted.
Her husband took a deep breath.
Vayon frowned, peering at her from the overtop of his scroll. His eyes were narrowed.
Maester Luwin gazed at with narrowed eyes.
“But that doesn’t change what you and Robb feel,” she continued. “ My son loves his brother, and you love your son.” She shook her head. “I might never love him as my own, and that is your fault.”
Those guards caught everyone off guard, including herself. “How can I love if I don’t know who his mother is?” she demanded, pushing forward. “She would walk through those doors any day and demand her son. How can I love him if I don’t get to keep him?” It was half-truths. What she was most scared of was Jon’s mother returning and Ned loving another woman over her.
“Leave us,” Ned commended, his tone harsh.
Both Vayon and Maester Luwin left the solar without another word.
Catelyn and Ned stared at each other.
“Jon’s mother is dead,” Ned assured her. “I buried her myself.” The grief in words was clear, but it wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
“Where is she buried?” she demanded. Catelyn was unwilling to accept all of her husband’s vague answers. If she couldn’t have a name, then Catelyn would take everything else she could.
Ned remained quiet.
Shaking her head, she told him, “This is why I find it hard to love him! You clearly love this woman, and you refuse to speak of her.”
Catelyn closed her eyes as she tried to calm down. This wasn’t what she came to talk with her husband about. “Write the king,” she told him, “and have him legitimize Jon.”
Without another word, Catelyn turned and she left her husband’s solar. She ignored the lingering gaze of Vayon as she walked away, deciding to visit Jon.
Her idea of visiting Jon was discarded when she found Robb and Old Nan sitting with the boy. Jon looked sickly and tiny in the bed as he smiled at Robb, nodding. There were dark circles around his eyes, and he was paler than usual. Robb was curled around his brother.
From her position in the doorway, Catelyn watched as Robb and Jon listened to Old Nan’s stories. Looking at her son and his brother, Catelyn noticed the way they clung to each other.