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Crowfeather let the wind on his whiskers guide him. He looked up at the starry sky, breathing in the pleasant scent of the moor during the night. The Clans were finally at peace, and he could afford to relax and reflect in solitude. His heart slowed down and his mind cleared of any unnecessary thoughts, worries and stress as he began losing himself in the sound of the breeze. His ears twitched as he thought of his life, his clan, and all of his past and future deeds.
As the dark smoky-gray tom was lost in his own world, a loud sound echoed throughout the moor. He stopped for a moment and looked towards the border. What was that sound? He asked himself. It sounded like hissing and clawing. Crowfeather was confused. Was the sound of a cat in pain? Was that a fight? In the middle of the night?
Crowfeather took a breath, as he stealthily crept forward across the ThunderClan border. Hiding in the long grass and shadows, he flattened his tail, moving from to cover to cover to where the sound was coming from. As he got closer, he looked into the distance, and noticed the source of the commotion. A black tom was yowling and clawing at a tree.
He was scratching at the beech with his sharp claws, ripping the bark from the tree. His yowls silenced, replaced by loud pantings. But his fur still bristled. There was anger in his amber eyes. The anger that would not go away.
He recognized the cat. Breezepelt. His fear. The bitterness. His anger and impulsiveness. How he lashed out against everything and everyone. He wanted someone close, but only pushed the others away. He screamed for help, but no one who loved him came. And the cats who did come only filled the hole in his heart with hatred. The guilt nagged at Crowfeather's heart.
Where were you, when Breezepelt needed you?.
This time, Crowfeather would not leave Breezepelt alone. Even if he was on ThunderClan's land.
***
You're not needed on this patrol.
Of course you succeedeed. You are Firestar's descendant.
It's not too late to go back to your real name.
Nightheart growled with another swipe at the tree. The fury was still throbbing beneath his pelt. He didn't understand why it made him feel better, but it did. His feelings were always being dismissed by his Clanmates and even though this was not the first time, it still hurt to see that his own family never understood him. No one wanted him, he didn't matter to anyone. He was angry and frustrated and hurt. They're all wrong. They don't even know me.
Nightheart let out a deep, painful sigh as he looked around the moonlit forest. He was alone, but he wanted that to be that way. His claws dug into the cold earth underneath.
I don't need anyone. I don't need the company. I don't need comfort. I don't need family. I don't need friends. He thought defiantly. I want to be alone.
As Nightheart's rage began to die down, his attention was suddenly brought to a dark cat that he noticed watching him. He narrowed his eyes and let out an aggressive hiss as his tail began bristling. He recognized the intruder. Crowfeather. Bad luck. Of course he had to run into an old Squirrelflight's friend. How long has he been watching me? Nightheart's fur was standing on end and he extended his claws.
"This is ThunderClan territory. You better have a good reason for being here," he said through gritted teeth.
Crowfeather met his gaze unflinching. "What is going on? It is dangerous to be out here by yourself at night. Why are you outside the camp?" Crowfeather asked.
"Don't act like it's your concern," Nightheart snapped. His fur bristled and his ears flattened against his head. Crowfeather was lying. He knew Crowfeather must be manipulating him. Nightheart felt a pang on his heart. Even this fake concern was more than he was used to.
"Nightheart," Crowfeather called. He took a cautious step closer "Tell me what's bothering you." His ears were twitching and his blue eyes were staring into Nightheart's.
Nightheart stood there silently. He felt his anger fleeing him, replaced with weariness.
"Nightheart, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong," he said, his voice soft but firm.
Nightheart looked up at the starry sky. What if he told Crowfeather about his feelings? What would happen then?
Nightheart exhaled as his guard began to lower. His body began to shake softly as he thought about how to respond.
He wanted to say it.
He wanted to share his pain.
But would Crowfeather care?
No one cared.
He knew what he wanted to admit, but the words were stuck deep inside him. The difficult words. The truth. A wave of exhaustion swept all over him. He didn't have strength to continue the struggle.
Something inside has broken out. "No one wants me in ThunderClan." he finally admitted. His voice was quiet.
Crowfeather took a step closer to Nightheart and sat down next to him, perking his ears.
"What makes you feel that way?" Crowfeather asked.
He didn't have strength for anger anymore.
"It's just... The name... They wanted my name to be Flameheart. But I don't feel like Flameheart. I never did." Nightheart hesitated, looking down at the cold, hard ground before looking back up at Crowfeather. "I am not Firestar and I never will be. But that's who they wanted. Not me... They never wanted the actual me." He scanned Crowfeather for any sign of irritation or anger, before closing his eyes and turning away from the dark tom. He felt ashamed.
"It takes courage to recognize who you are." Crowfeather meowed earnestly. "I think Nightheart suits you."
Nightheart was surprised. And a little confused. He didn't care for WindClan's deputy recognition, but... It felt nice being affirmed.
"I also chose my own name. I asked to be named Crowfeather in honor of a dear companion in a journey to Sun-drown-place." He mewed wistfully.
Nightheart's eyes were wide with surprise. The way the Clan reacted... He thought he was the first one - the only one - to choose his name. How many others were there?
"No one accepted your decision? Not even your parents? Littermates? Friends?" Crowfeather probed.
Nightheart felt his pelt burning. All the memories ran like fire through him, all the harsh words, all the insults, all the rejection.
He shook his head. "My sister supported me at first... Until Sparkpelt changed her mind. And no one hates me more for it than my mother." A jolt ran through him when speaking his mother's name. Even here, so far from ThunderClan's camp, her hostility still hurt him.
Crowfeather blinked slowly. "And your father?"
Larksong was a thin mist inside Nightheart's mind. Would he understand Nightheart? Would he support him? Nightheart tried to picture his father, imagine what he would tell him. He had a dark pelt, that Nightheart has inherited from him. It was like night, but emanated with warmth. And blue eyes, looking with understanding at him...
But that wasn't his father. It was only Crowfeather.
"I never knew him. He died before I was born." Nightheart stared into the distance.
Crowfeather nodded gently. "It must have been tough. I barely knew my father." Crowfeather confessed. "When I was a kit, he was too busy with deputy duties. And then he died before I could grow up and get to know him."
At least you did get to know him a bit. Nightheart thought, but didn't dare to say it out loud. Crowfeather seemed to have shared Nightheart's struggles at one point in life. That made him feel more kinship with WindClan's deputy than any warrior in his own Clan.
"But I can see you are a smart, courageous warrior. I think your father would be proud of you." Crowfeather mewed confidently.
Nightheart wished that was true. He looked up at the stars, trying to figure out which one was Larksong, but couldn't. I want to make you proud.
His claws itched. He wanted to go. Not sure where, but not back to the camp where he would only get disrespected and dishonored.
"Crowfeather." Nightheart mewed. That part came easily, but now he was feeling a growing lump in his throat.
He was angry at his Clanmates, but leaving them - perhaps forever? His throat tensed. He had some good memories in ThunderClan. He thought longingly of playing with Finchlight. Training with Lilyheart. Listening to Brightheart's stories. Sharing his worries with Bayshine. Getting encouraged by Finleap. Becoming a warrior.
He shook his head, trying to shake off negative emotions from that. No, that wasn't a good memory. And as good as the other were, they were deep in the past. His future lied elsewhere. He hated leaving his Clan on bad terms, knowing that they may never forgive him, but he may not get another opportunity. Determination flared through him.
"Could I move to WindClan?" He asked solemnly.
Crowfeather looked at his wide-eyed. Nightheart's heart skipped a beat. Maybe he overestimated how much in common he had with WindClan warrior. He was going to get disappointed yet again.
"There is always a place for skilled and dedicated warriors in WindClan." Crowfeather mewed proudly. "WindClan would be lucky to have you, Nightheart."
Nightheart felt a rush of appreciation flowing through him. He would feel wanted...
"But I know leaving your Clan is not a decision easily made." Crowfeather warned. "And there's no guarantee that ThunderClan would want you back if you ever change your mind."
Nightheart only half listened. His heart wasn't in the forest. It was never really there. Looking over the moonlit moor, the wind was calling out to him.
"I have no doubts. ThunderClan is my past." Nightheart affirmed. "WindClan will be my future."
Crowfeather ran up to Nightheart and rubbed his muzzle against his cheek. "The day will come when ThunderClan realises what it's lost and they will regret how they treated you. But you will not regret your choice. I will make sure of that," He mewed.
Nightheart did not understand the emotion that was rising inside him. But he knew it was what he longed for for a long time.
Crowfeather lead the way, staying two steps ahead of Nightheart. The forest was silent as they crossed the border together.
***
The star grew dimmer in the sky, as the sun was peeking out of the horizon. It wasn't dark anymore. The dawn was coming.
Nightheart felt free, liberated. He was on the new land, with no one to judge him. Here, no one would know about Flameheart. He would only ever be Nightheart.
The wind was blowing in Nightheart's face, and he embraced it. He wasn't used to coolness of the moor but it felt pleasant on his pelt. Nightheart and Crowfeather walked side-by-side without saying a word, listening only to the soothing whustling of the breeze.
They continued walking, slowly heading towards where the dens were. A few warriors were slowly trickling out - the morning patrols? Nightheart noticed another black cat leaving the den, and as he did, Crowfeather approached him.
"Breezepelt, could you come with me for a moment?" - Crowfeather asked.
"Of course, Crowfeather. What's the matter?" He asked. Only then he noticed Nightheart and gave him a warning glance. "A ThunderClan warrior in our camp? What's the meaning of this?" He growled.
"Everything's under control." Crowfeather answered calmly. "Nightheart came to join us. Could you keep our guest company for now? I'd like to speak with Harestar first." He asked.
"Of course." Breezepelt replied and approached Nightheart. His fur no longer bristled with hostility, but he still eyed Nightheart cautiously.
"Even ThunderClan cats get tired of being constantly ordered by their own?" Breezepelt mewed amused.
Nightheart didn't know many of the warriors of WindClan, but this was an opportunity to make new friends. And finally express how he felt about his Clan.
"It can get pretty bad, yes," he replied. "Is it any different here?"
Breezepelt puffed out his chest. "Of course! No Clan is as independent as we are. We don't get bossed around because Harestar trust his warriors to do what's right." His eyes shone.
Breezepelt turned around and watched as Crowfeather disappeared inside the leader's den.
"I was worried about that old furball." Breezepelt sniffled. "He wasn't in his nest when I woke up. Looks like you've kept my father up?" He purred with amusement.
Nightheart felt his pelt growing hot. He hoped Breezepelt didn't blame him. "You are lucky to have Crowfeather as your father." - Nightheart mewed awkwardly.
Breezepelt sat down and looked at Nightheart thoughtfully in silence for a long time. "You have no idea."
"Nightheart!" Crowfeather appeared in the entrance of the leader's den. He beckoned Nightheart with his tail. "Harestar wants to see you."
Nightheart breathed in heavily. His paws felt heavy, as if made of stone. The deciding moment has come.
"I'll be seeing you," Breezepelt mewed. Nightheart nodded in thanks and headed into Harestar's den located beneath the Tallrock. Crowfeather shot him a reassuring glance as they passed each other.
Nightheart felt his tail twitching. He had seen Harestar before, but standing so close to him felt differently. Harestar's presence filled the entire den and confidence radiated from him. The lithe WindClan leader seemed to tower over Nightheart in a way that Bramblestar never did.
"Nightheart." Harestar said, his voice drilling into Nightheart's ears. "Crowfeather told me you want to join WindClan?" He mewed, carefully observing Nightheart.
Nightheart closed his eyes for a moment, trying to muster as much composure as he could. "And you want to know why." He said, matter-of-factly.
"No, Nightheart, I don't." Harestar's response took him by surprise. "Many, many moons ago, I trained in the Dark Forest with evil cats. Many WindClan warriors did." He mewed unwaveringly. "And when the Dark Forest was defeated, we feared for our fate. We have made a grave mistake and one that we could never leave behind." He blinked slowly. "But when we returned to the camp, Onestar told us that he forgives us and trusts us to do the right thing from now on." He meowed slowly. "When we stray from the right path, the wind guides back. This is the way of WindClan. We are not bound by our past, for we run with the wind to the future." Harestar's words were reaching straight to Nightheart's sprit. He barely knew him, and yet Nightheart felt he would give his life for WindClan's leader. Is this what leadership feels like? Bramblestar's words had never moved Nightheart this way.
"I do not care what made you leave ThunderClan. It is gone, and will come back no longer. What I want to know is if you're going to dedicate your future to WindClan." As Harestar's words reached Nightheart, Nightheart's memories felt brittle, as if barely hanging on to his mind. His worries, his fears, his mistakes. His legacy no longer seemed important. It no longer held power over him And with that, for the first time he felt he wasn't carrying a burden anymore.
"If you pledge your allegiance to WindClan, I will give you my trust." Harestar mewed solemnly. "This both a reward and a responsibility. Think this through."
Nightheart didn't need to ponder. This is what Nightheart has wanted all his life. He was born in the wrong Clan. But now he could make it right.
His heart fluttered. "Thank you Harestar. All my life I have struggled, but destiny has brought me to where I need to be. I'll be proud to be a WindClan warrior." He mewed earnestly.
Harestar nodded slightly, accepting Nightheart's words. He padded out of the den, signalling with his tail for Nightheart to follow him. The sun was shining palely. The cool breeze felt welcoming on Nightheart's long whiskers. In two strong leaps, Harestar reached the top of the Tallrock.
Harestar’s voice rang out across the camp. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the Tallrock for a Clan meeting!"
Nightheart was standing exposed at the base of the Tallrock. Many of the cats were coming out of the dens following Harestar's call. There were many eyes observing him with a mix of wariness and curiosity. They would be Nightheart's Clanmates. He would prove himself to them.
"This sunup, Nightheart, a warrior of ThunderClan was guided by wind to our camp. After speaking with him, I believe he has the heart of a true warrior and I deem him worthy of joining our Clan." Harestar's pronounced confidently.
He turned his gaze to Nightheart. "Nightheart. Do you promise to uphold the warrior code, and to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"
Nightheart lifted his head, facing his new leader. "I do."
Harestar nodded. "Then we welcome you as a warrior of WindClan, Nightheart." Yowls of approval broke out from the group of WindClan warriors.
Nightheart looked around the camp. Many of the warriors were less enthusiastic than his leader and deputy were, and he could see many were skeptical of him. But no one contested it. There was no shock or defiance, no loud disapproval of him, like it happened during his ThunderClan ceremony. He was among strangers, yet he felt more welcome than among his kin. In the other side of the camp, he could spot Crowfeather, Breezepelt and Nightcloud, all walking in towards him. Support and welcome resonated from them.
Nightcloud nuzzled him warmly. "It's good to have you."
"You're in the best Clan now." Breezepelt meowed approvingly.
Crowfeather pressed his head against Nightheart's. He whispered, not into Nightheart's ears, but into his heart. "Welcome to WindClan. Welcome home, son."