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Izuku has always been kind of obsessed with Bakugou Katsuki. Not in a creepy way! No Mam. In a wholesome, super caring and overly analytical way. Completely healthy. No harm done.
Don’t get him wrong, Izuku is aware that he’s always adored Kacchan . He didn’t go around from the day he was old enough to form the word ‘Amazing’ using it on just anyone. No, that was reserved for those things which truly did amaze. And boy did Katsuki amaze Izuku.
When they were children it was his strength, his tenacity and no nonsense attitude. When Katsuki got his quirk, it was how strong his quirk was, how useful it could be, and how many ways it could be utilized for hero work. Even in middle school, when Izuku was at his lowest (mostly thanks to Katsuki) he still admired the blond. His whole life was structured around his goal; his schedule, his diet, his academic standing, his workout regime. It took Izuku a long time to admit it, but now he can honestly say that although he dreamed of being a hero with every fiber of his being he did none of the things necessary to achieve that goal, quirkless or not. All he did was fanboy and nerd out - although on the upside his analytical skills are definitely one of his best assets nowadays.
When they got into UA Izuku got to see Katsuki in his element, and then the amount of ‘Sugoi Kacchans’ he hurled the blond’s way suddenly held more meaning because damn was Katsuki intensely serious about his hero career. And now Izuku had a quirk that was strong, stronger than anyone knew, and he had to prove himself and keep up with the big leagues. Through lots of fighting, pain, sacrifice and revelations, they became more than friends or even rivals. They became more. The ying to the other’s yang, light and dark, ebbing and flowing in perfect harmony while the discord played on the B-side and spurred them on to be better, do better. Constant one-upmanship of a now friendly nature.
So yes, Izuku very obviously admired Kacchan. But when the heck did admiration become love? When did Izuku go from respecting Kacchan, being in awe of him, to loving him?
Izuku can’t exactly pinpoint when, but at some point he stopped just chasing after Katsuki, stopped just seeking approval of his strength, his tactics, his strategies. He and Katsuki had become close. They worked at the same agency, trained and sparred together weekly at minimum. They critiqued each other - even if Katsuki scoffed at Izuku’s feedback, he always saw his suggestions implemented, spent some of their downtime together, even discussing future plans for a joint agency while working out and sharing after work meals. They had become equals.
Yes, at some point Izuku looked across the table and stopped thinking that Kacchan was amazing and someone to be beaten, and started seeing him as a partner, a remarkable individual who just made the greenette’s days better by being in them.
Then Izuku started to notice other things too.
He noticed that he liked the way Katsuki smelled, even after a workout, or a rough sparring session. He noticed how the strong line of Katsuki’s jaw and the angle of his eyes added to the handsomeness of his face. Now don’t get him wrong, Katsuki was of course objectively handsome, but subjectively Izuku started to notice that he found even the blond’s imperfections wonderful. For instance, Katsuki couldn’t grow a beard if he tried and ended up with awful wiry rogue hairs on his chin. He won’t wear antiperspirant because of his quirk, and he has scars littering his body - much like Izuku, and many of them earned on each other's behalf. Just another reason for Izuku to love him.
Oh crap, there’s that word again.
When Izuku started noticing these things, and feeling the tightness in his chest everytime their bodies made physical contact - a hand on his shoulder, or ruffling his hair, or grasping of his bicep to lead him away from reporters after a fight - he began to analyse his own behaviour. When he realised his need for approval had morphed into his actively seeking opportunities to be with the blond, to gain his attention, he started to worry.
Then there was the fact that when you love someone, you love them despite their flaws, and you don’t seek to change them. Izuku had never sought to change Katsuki. Naturally people grow. Izuku had learned some backbone from Katsuki, and when not to break every bone in his body, when not to sacrifice. And Katsuki had matured some, emotionally especially, and learned when to allow others to help.
Damn, Izuku loved him. He liked him for who he was, he was physically and sexually attracted to him, and as he wrote a list of pros and cons in his new notebook, he though that Katsuki was the only one he’d ever felt this strongly for. It had just taken him a few years to see it.
So why was he worried about this new revelation? Why couldn’t he just ask his friend out? Get it over with, rip the bandaid off?
Well isn’t it obvious?
Now, Izuku thought it was unbelievably rude to number someone's attractiveness on a nonsense scale of one-to-ten, but if he absolutely had to to prove his point, then Izuku considered himself a four tops. Katsuki - He was a twenty even in a room full of tens.
Izuku never stood a chance.
And every week he heard about or saw all of those who did.
Every week without fail, Izuku would either witness or hear through the grapevine about Katsuki’s exploits.
The first time Izuku had really paid attention to the office gossip was not long after his romantic awakening. That’s probably why it all suddenly seemed very important to him.
A group of rookies were loitering around the coffee machine in the breakroom as Izuku brewed a cup of calming herbal tea nearby - He was having to redo a bunch of forms he’d incorrectly submitted, the kind that must be filled out by hand in black ink and block capitals, and boy was it ruining his day - when his ears picked up on Kacchan’s hero name amidst their conversation.
“...said he was brutal,” The first, a raven haired man continues, “really likes to dominate.”
The other two boys laughed slightly, blond ponytail guy chipping in with, “I mean it tracks right? He’s an amazing hero, but he’s definitely someone who has to be in charge at all times.”
Brunette, sweeping fringe; “Keito is such a gentleman though, like chivalrous through and through, never sinned a day in his life. How does someone like that end up hooking up with someone who likes it rough? I mean did he like it, or…?”
Oh god, Izuku had known immediately that he needed to get out, but some horribly morbid curiosity welded him in place.
Raven haired man barked a laugh, “I mean yeah, I think he was just excited to get dicked down by Dynamight honestly.”
Brunnette hummed in some form of agreement, “Will he get to see him again?”
“Uh, no.’ Raven haired man said curtly, “Apparently he insisted on going to Keito’s place, and left before the johnny had even hit the bottom of the trash can.”
“Poor guy”, Blondie snorted.
“Well at least he’ll always have the memories!” Brunette said, somewhat kindly as they all shuffled out past Izuku, coffees in hand.
Izuku had looked down at his tea, which he’d apparently been stirring the entire time if the whirlpool climbing the mug’s rim was anything to go by, and sighed slowly through his nose.
Damn it. He’d forgotten to consider that now he knew he loved Kacchan, he was going to have to stand by and watch him possibly love another.
But even without the emotional aspect, the idea of Kacchan being intimate with anyone else hurt worse than Izuku’s fingers after their first year Sports Festival - He may have been slightly exaggerating, but the point was it hurt really badly, okay!
In the months that followed Izuku really started to notice the blatantly obvious pulling that Kacchan was doing all the damn time.
It was all Izuku could do to not roll his eyes back until he was practically seizing, when Kacchan pulled a skinny little thing dressed as a slutty preacher at Mina and Kirishima’s Halloween party.
Now you may wonder, what could possibly constitute a ‘slutty’ preacher? And are those two descriptives together, at what amounts to a festival celebrating all things ooky-kooky evil and spooky, not an absolute blasphemous debasement of the uniform? The Answer to the latter is, yes, they damn well are!
And the answer to the former, not so creatively in Izuku’s opinion, is a cassock made entirely of flowing black mesh leaving nothing at all to the imagination. Izuku can see the guy's tiny black shorts riding up his ass crack from across the room! He’d gone to the effort of adding a blood red stole, which was at least hiding his nipples, and a pristine white collar biting into the tan flesh of his neck.
Izuku could see that he was attractive, sure, no doubt. But Izuku was- he was-!... He looked down at his outfit… He was a cute ghost! Of course he was, what else would he be? The only other costume he’d consider was All Might, but that level of fan-boy nerdism just felt wrong now that he was practically the greenette’s father.
He went to take another swig from his red plastic cup only to be left disappointed when there was barely a sip left to drown his sorrows in. Well heck, the booze was on the counter right by Kacchan and his preacher. Izuku resisted the urge to smash his cup into a tiny recyclable disc; He needed strong liquor to get through this. He’d faced next level villains, he could do this!
He wandered over to the other side of the counter, staying out of Kacchan’s direct line of sight.
Grabbing the first bottle he saw with a fifty percent alcohol content plastered on the label, he sloshed it into his cup, trying to listen to the music Jiro was mixing in and not the words leaving the preacher’s lips.
“...sure you don’t need to make any confessions?” He was purring, leaning into Kacchan’s side.
“It’s dangerous for up-and-comers like me to be going around confessing our sins, don’tcha think?” Kacchan’s voice is low, teasing.
“It’s all safe with me handsome, the sacramental seal and all that.” He brings his hand up to make a zipping motion across his lips, and although Izuku can only see the back of his head, he imagines there’s a wink involved.
Kacchan turns fully, leaning down to the preacher's ear, and… and locking eyes with Izuku over his shoulder.
Izuku freezes.
The blond's gaze burns through him. Something dark, almost exhausted passes over his features and he delays his response, for some unknown reason, before he lowers his gaze.
Izuku swallows hard , almost inhaling his own tongue.
“How about we go commit some new sins, really give me something to confess.” He growls lowly, a biting promise that Izuku can see rolls a shiver down the preacher’s body.
What the hecking-heck was that about!
Shouto finds Izuku five minutes later shotting tequila from the bottle.
The next day Izuku has the worst hangover of his entire life. He decides he has to be tougher, better at dealing with his thing for Kacchan, or else he’ll die from alcohol poisoning before the slow death from his broken heart can take him.
In the months that followed Kacchan never let up.
Izuku heard from Mina that Kacchan had had a few dates with a defense lawyer - Really Kacchan? A defense lawyer? Maybe Izuku didn’t know him as well as he thought - but he’d ultimately ended things with him when he couldn’t look past what he described to her as the ‘Sheer fucking scumminess’ of the man’s clientele. Okay, Izuku jumped the gun, he did know Kacchan that well. Point to Midoriya.
Then at a hangout at a local bar with a large group of their graduating class, Katsuki had simply sauntered off without so much as a ‘Later extras’ tossed over his shoulder. He left with a guy Izuku could only describe as a meathead, and when he’d said as much to Uraraka and Mina they’d cackled in agreement, so he didn’t feel so bad about insulting a random stranger. Katsuki had barely thrown the man a second glance across the dingy bar before he’d been making a beeline for the door with him in tow.
God, Izuku hoped he was practicing safe sex.
Not a weird thing to think! He just cares about his friend’s health - and also maybe any future ramifications for his own, if he ever builds up the courage and succeeds in romancing his hot-headed friend. Okay, okay, it’s a little weird. Let’s just forget about that thought, shall we.
After that, there was the one that Kacchan very strangely boasted about to anyone who so much as looked his way. Some high ranking international hero in Japan for some joint agency crap Izuku wasn’t involved in. Kacchan had spent one night with him and maintained that he’d ‘rocked the socks off the fucker’. Followed by further mumbles of something along the lines of, ‘I showed him what being the best fucking looks like’, but Izuku had tried to scrub that from his brain with vast amounts of cute animal videos - he was trying not to rely on booze, okay? He needs more wholesome outlets!
But, butter his butt and call him a biscuit, because when Izuku finally met the guy when he toured Endeavour's agency, he could barely contain his surprise.
Honestly he barely held it together! He felt like one of those wind up toys you coiled the spring in and he was just waiting to release all that tense energy in a private place, where he wouldn’t have to explain his ‘what the hecking-heck, Kacchan!’ fueled breakdown to anyone.
This guy was basically Kacchan. His looks were Kacchan-adjacent, locks brown instead of blond, eyes a fascinating opal white in a tanned face. He was actually taller than Kacchan, by quite a bit to Izuku’s reckoning, and he was a little politer - but he was a guest, so maybe that counted for something, although it wouldn’t to Kacchan.
Otherwise, his mannerism, brusk attitude, humour, and crap aptitude for remembering people’s names - Okay, Kacchan did that on purpose, but still - were freakishly close to Kacchan. To the point where both Todoroki and Shinsou were looking at Izuku during the tour with knowing ‘What the actual fuck’ expresions on their faces. Or as Shinsou so tactfully said afterwards, “Bakugou really does love himself that much, huh?”
And if Izuku joined in the laughing fit that followed, Kacchan needn’t ever know.
Now don’t get Izuku wrong, through all of these encounters the poor hero has been suffering almost crippling emotional hardship. Damn, did it hurt to see Kacchan with everyone but him.
But Izuku was not some crazy yandere! He knows that Kacchan is not his. And it’s very unlikely he ever will be.
So, even when Kacchan falls asleep mid movie with his head on Izuku’s lap, he marks it as Kacchan being extremely comfortable around his best friend. When he spends an inordinate amount of time bent over his entertainment center to plug in Izuku’s console for games night, even though he’s done this a hundred times before, Izuku waves it off and tries not to stare at his pert muscular backside. When his firm chest brushes Izuku’s back as he reaches to put the clean bowls away after their shared meal, he figures Kacchan just got impatient waiting for him to move out of the way.
No, Izuku can’t read into any of those things! He was just seeing things that didn’t actually carry any significance because of his stupid unrequited feelings and wishful longing heart.
When Izuku lay down to sleep at night he pushed all of the delusions away, straight up Detroit smashed them into smithereens and shook his head to disperse the dusty remains of those hopes from his foolish mind.
Months and months of stamping down his hopes, his feelings, and the heat that crept up his body when they sparred and Kacchan pressed down on his caught prey a little too hard into the mat, and Izuku was at the end of his tether.
They were at some new bar Mina wanted to visit where the cocktails were all served in weird ways, or as ‘smoke’ and other nonsense Izuku didn’t think was worth the money, when a chance encounter with Uraraka’s yoga instructor had the guy latching onto their group and getting all up in Kacchan’s space.
And of course Kacchan, much to Izuku’s heartache, did nothing to discourage it.
Izuku rolled his eyes and sucked the straw of his IV bag - he shit’s you not; when he ordered a strawberry daiquiri he did not expect it to come looking like he was sucking on a pint of blood, but here he is, slurping angrily and squeezing the living daylights out of his poor drink.
Todoroki pressed into his side and nodded towards Kacchan, who was standing at the opposite end of their long shared table.
“You’re still pining over Bakugou. I don’t want to have to carry you home and listen to you cry ‘Kacchan’ again until you pass out.” Todoroki deadpanned, grimacing as the liquid in his conical glass actively curdled before their eyes, before fixing Izuku with an unimpressed stare.
“If I remember correctly, you weren’t even drunk last time and you still managed to say ‘Kacchan’ in 32 different ways.” He frowned and pushed a stray curl behind Izuku’s ear, “How is that even possible?”
“I’m a very expressive person Shouto!” Isuku retorted, eyes flicking back to Kacchan, who was leaning in to hear Mr Tight-Yoga-Pants better- Okay, he needed a better nickname, it didn’t really roll off the tongue. Maybe he could abbreviate. Mr TYP? Maybe he could drop the Mr, no need for formalities with his now sworn enemy. Sure, he was probably a great guy-
“Izuku, enough already.” Shouto scolded, gripping his shoulder, “TYP isn’t at fault here. And despite my distaste for Bakugou-”
“Why can’t you guys just admit you’re friends-”
“-He can take who he want’s home.” Shouto concluded.
He leaned back into Izuku’s side and sighed.
“I think you should just get it over with and confess, you can’t do this forever.”
“I’ve repeatedly broken bones on broken bones, Shouto. I think I can handle this.” Izuku huffed, draining his IV bag and placing it on the table where it lay limply. “Anyway, he would never…”
But as Izuku was talking he’d looked over to Kacchan once more, and did thine eyes deceive him? Because Kacchan was staring straight at him, nodding every now and then as TYP talked into his ear. His crimson eyes were flashing in the glittering lights of the bar, and then one of them slid closed in a very purposefully obvious wink.
Kacchan winked at him!
Surely not! No way!
But when Izuku literally rubbed his eyes as if to free himself from some cruel enchantment, Kacchan was grinning wickedly at him, mirth written over all of his perfectly formed features.
“Izuku, I saw that.” Todoroki was saying, but Izuku was struggling to form a word from the strangled sounds that tumbled from his mouth.
His ever reserved friend couldn’t help but let the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.
“Izuku, please don’t let that break you. I don’t know what to do in a scenario where you can’t speak. It’s never happened to me before.” Todoroki says, and Izuku is almost angry that he can joke at a time like this!
“K-Kacchan- Did he- he just- And I-”
“Yes, yes, Izuku, Bakugou winked at you.” Todoroki huffed and glared at Katsuki across the length of the table, “And now he’s enjoying your suffering.”
He nudged Izuku’s shoulder harshly, causing the greenette’s eyes to snap to him.
“Are you really going to let him get one up on you like this? Let him taunt you? I thought you’d grown out of letting him beat you without a fight?”
And damn it if Todoroki didn’t know these two idiots too well.
Because wasn't it always the way with them? The constant one-upmanship; who can be the best at literally anything, who is the strongest, the fastest, the highest ranked…. why had Izuku thought that Katsuki’s choice of sexual partners would be anything different?
But… but if that was the case then none of these ‘extras’ deserved him! They hadn’t fought for him, with him. They hadn’t had to struggle for years to be by his side, to be seen as equal! And Katsuki still just took them home anyway.
Well then, heck, why the hecking-heck should Izuku not shoot his damn shot! He had to be at least more worthy than tonight's opponent, TYP. And if all Izuku got from this was one night, one night under Kacchan, he could live on that - at least that’s what he promised himself at that moment - for the rest of his life it would be enough, even if he had to ration it out and live on the crumbs.
Izuku waved down the nearest shot carrying waitress and downed three test tubes of luminescent fluid, one after the other for courage. Todoroki would cover the bill, he had something important he needed to do. Something he should have done a good while ago.
He stalked forward, seeing Kacchan’s eyes widen before his smirk returned, more vicious and predatory than ever. Then he looked back to TYP as if trying to ignore the oncoming storm approaching. The storm he’d ushered in when he heated the air around Izuku and sent it spiraling upwards into the atmosphere. He should have known better, after all, Izuku was all green lightning and burnt ozone, the heart of the storm.
“-known for being a little angry, ya’ know.” TYP was saying, jabbering away happily and completely unaware of the battle going on around him. Poor man. “So some meditation, or a mantra, could really help you calm down after a hard day. I’d be happy to teach-”
“I’m sorry to intrude,” Izuku cut in politely, but he was a dirty liar because he was not the slightest bit sorry, “but, Kacchan, I need to tell you something.”
TYP looked outright confused, then concerned when he noted the redness of Izuku’s face and the sweat beading his brow.
He leaned more into Kacchan’s side, “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.” He commented.
Well duh, TYP! Izuku thought, repressing the roll his eyes were trying to do, you try confessing to your best friend in a busy bar, while cockblocking him from your tight-yoga-pant wearing butt!
“Kacchan, I don’t know why you keep looking anywhere else but right in front of your face!” Izuku all but shrieked, his anxiety mocking him as it warped his voice, “But- but-”, No stuttering! Not today!, “My heart belongs to you!”
Oh god this was embarrassing, and so sappy, and Izuku could feel their friends' and strangers’ eyes alike boring holes into the back of his head.
TYP looked outright mortified, but Kacchan’s smug stupid grin had not moved an inch.
Well Izuku may as well just push on and then make a break for it before Kacchan could laugh in his face.
“I mean, that I really like you, and no one knows you like I do, or like you know me.” He squeezed his eyes shut, still seeing Kacchan’s sneer imprinted on his eyelids, “We know all of each other's problems and faults, and we still have each other's backs anyway. So please,” He opened his eyes, locking on to red irises with renewed determination, even as his heart and breath stuttered, “please do me the honour of letting me take you on a date?”
He stared at Kacchan, who stared back with TYP hanging off of him, and time seemed to stretch to a taught wire that was seconds from snapping. Everything was laid bare and exposed between them. And Izuku was acutely aware that he’d just changed everything between them, and the exposure under Kacchan’s heavy gaze was beginning to sting.
Izuku breathed in deeply and for a reason unknown even to himself, he held out his hand.
Kacchan looked from Izuku’s rough palm, to his soft sincere face, and with a hearty chuckle and a swift fluid motion he was pushing TYP away with a large tanned hand to the face.
TYP made an affronted gargled noise as he fell backwards towards Uraraka’s seemingly awaiting arms, and at any other time Izuku would have admonished Kacchan for the harsh treatment but the blond’s hand was sliding into his own and pulling him to fall against his chest. And time seemed to whir back into full speed.
“Waaa-chan!” Izuku was stunned, flummoxed, bamboozled…
But Katsuki simply leaned back enough for his face to fill Izuku’s line of sight and give him this look .
And well damn Izuku to hell and back, because that one look, that expression that settled on Kacchan’s face said: Really Deku, do you fucking get it now?.
“Oh…” Izuku said, as his mind reeled. Had Kacchan been actually, for real, trying to get Izuku to make the first move! And Izuku lost? Won? He didn’t even know at this point, but whatever the outcome he’d accept it with open arms.
“ Oh …” Kacchan mocked, audibly scoffing, “That’s all you’ve got to say, Deku?”
“Kacchan, I- Is this real?” He had to ask.
“Yeah, no shit it’s real, Nerd.” Kacchan shook his head, grabbing Izku’s wrist. “It’s about fucking time. Do you know how many guys I gotta go through to get your attention, huh?”
He started pulling one very confused, but very happy, Izuku away from their friends and towards the front of the bar.
“As if I was gonna ask you out first. No fucking way I’d be some sappy fucker, declaring love or some shit-”
Izuku dug in his heels, all engines set to stop.
“Kacchan?” He tugged on Kacchan’s sweater, “Kacchan, you love me?”
Red eyes whirled around to capture emeralds in his fiery gaze.
“You got a fucking problem with that, huh?” He barked.
“No, no problem Kacchan,” Izuku replied, his cheeks straining as they stretched wide in a smile that forced his eyes closed, until he remembered the guy they’d just left behind. “I just kinda wish you’d said something instead of seeing all these other guys.”
He blushed as Kacchan yanked him close, putting his lips to Izuku’s ear.
“I know it seems shitty Nerd, but I promise you I needed the experience so that I could be the damn best.” The ‘ for you ’ was silently implied. He drew back a little, an intense look on his face, “So, trust me when I say Izuku, I’ve got all of this experience and now, I have the only person that I’ve ever wanted to use it on.”
Well fuck .
When Izuku woke up the next morning in Kacchan’s bed, with a large tanned arm draped over his waist, and soft lips leaving wet breaths against his neck, Izuku wondered if maybe he should send all those other men ‘thank you’ cards.
He turned over and snuggled more closely into Kacchan’s chest, the other man squeezing him tighter. There’d be some talking to do when they were both fully awake, but if the words that slipped from Kacchan’s lips last night were any indication then they were going to be in this for the long haul. And Izuku could get used to this.