Work Text:
While Terry never liked Shlorp, watching the planet he once called home explode into stardust felt like something of a nightmare. Trying to ignore the immense feeling of dread in his stomach he forced himself to look away, surveying the rest of the ship to distract himself. It was where he would be staying for the foreseeable future, stuck with his team members who he had only met briefly before leaving their home planet. The other adult on the ship, Korvotron, watched the scene behind them, his eyes reflecting the explosion of shattered terrain. He was holding the Pupa in his lap tightly, making sure the small creature was turned away from the collision. The replicants were in the seats at the back; Terry’s replicant stared off into the distance, fidgeting with the hem of her robe anxiously, while Korvo’s replicant seemed as though he was trying to hold back tears, his face contorted and tense. The team sat in traumatized silence, nobody willing to acknowledge the terror stirring inside of them.
Once they were far enough away that what was once Shlorp could no longer be seen, Terry decided to pace around the ship to keep his mind busy. If he kept himself occupied, he wouldn’t have to think too hard about the fact that he had a mission now, and was meant to raise two replicants and a pupa with a boring stranger and dear god that could have been him still on that planet, he was lucky to be alive, everybody he has ever met was now dead—
Breathing heavily, his eyes met with his replicant. She was watching him curiously, tears stained on her cheeks. Terry hadn’t even noticed she was crying silently and the older alien offered a shaky smile, hoping to provide some reassurance. She returned the gesture weakly before tucking her knees to her chest, hugging herself and staring at the inky blackness outside the ship. The other replicant, who had also been watching Terry, flinched when the green alien made eye contact with him. He wiped his tears on his sleeve quickly as he looked away, embarrassed at having been caught crying. The attempts from both the children to stifle their sniffles were the only sounds to be heard in the ship.
After the initial feelings of fear settled, the tense emotions gave way to exhaustion as time blended together and hours stretched to eons. The majority of space was empty, and Terry needed something tangible to keep him from thinking about the gravity of their situation. He found himself trying to chat with the replicants, who had contrasting temperaments.
Terry and his offspring warmed up to each other quite easily — she was sweet and intelligent, and it wasn’t long before they began chatting about their lives on Shlorp. They discussed their old friends, complaints about school, and grievances about the strict society. Terry recounted stories of lovers past, careful not to mention anything about his lifemate, which was a relatively easy task considering he didn’t have trouble getting around. The smaller alien was delighted, eager to gossip about every juicy detail and sordid affair.
The other replicant, who Terry learned was named Yumyulack, initially eyed Terry’s attempts at camaraderie suspiciously, but his sullen expression grew bored the longer the pair talked. After an hour of the two aliens gossiping about romance he groaned loudly, interrupting their discussion to beg for them to talk about something, anything else. Yumyulack was a bit odd and not that friendly, but Terry was able to coax a small smile out of him not long after.
As the days progressed, Terry found himself getting to learn more about the members of the crew. His offspring was a mirror to him in many ways, and liked to tease her co-replicant mercilessly. Yumyulack had a sarcastic sense of humor, and delighted in beating everybody in whatever games they came up with, or bragging about his weaponry expertise.
The only alien who successfully kept himself at a distance was the team leader. After passing Terry the Pupa on the first day, he made little interaction with his partner outside of what was necessary. He was introverted and standoffish, spending most of his time preoccupied with the ship controls. Korvo only spoke to announce updates about their journey or murmur coordinates to himself as he methodically pressed buttons. Terry suppressed the urge to slam his hand on every single shiny glowing knob that seemed to call his name.
Terry tried a few times to ask him about his old life on Shlorp, but Korvo waved him off, claiming it was no longer important or relevant. The green alien wondered if perhaps the truth was the leader wouldn’t be able to contain his emotions when talking about their home planet.
Whatever. If Korvo wanted to be an asshole then fine, Terry didn’t need him. Regardless, something about the mission leader was compelling. Terry felt a desperate urge to make Korvo smile, or laugh, or even yell at him -- anything to prove he was capable of provoking some kind of reaction. Terry kept most of his focus on the replicants and the Pupa, only occasionally sneaking glances at the mission leader.
A topic of conversation that seemed to come up frequently was daydreaming about what their new home could look like. Over one of their meals Terry and the replicants tried to one-up each other, describing fantastical planets of their dreams.
“I think our planet’s gonna be a tropical paradise. We could hang out with the Pupa all day and go swimming and eat fruit!” Terry smiled at the thought, leaning his back against his seat casually.
“No way.” Yumyulack shook his head, swinging his legs slowly as he spoke. “Our planet will have lots of kick-ass lower life forms that we can study. It’s going to have a rocky terrain, and we can climb mountains and claim it as our own!”
“That’s lame. I’d rather live on a low-gravity bouncy planet,” the other replicant mused. She cocked her head, smiling nervously before speaking again.
“Um, Korvotron… what do you hope our new planet is like?”
The three aliens watched the team leader expectantly. He frowned, looking at their anticipating faces before sighing.
“As team leader it’s not my job to hope for anything outside the scope of our mission. Besides… it won’t really matter what the planet looks like when the Pupa is finished terraforming.”
Terry glanced around, realizing that the Pupa had disappeared from his line of sight, before spotting it on the floor underneath the table, searching for loose crumbs. Terry let out a small sigh of relief before noticing Korvo’s disapproving frown.
“Let’s stay focused on the mission so we don’t fail it before it begins,” the team leader reprimanded. The replicants glanced at Terry, who slinked back further in his seat. Instead of responding, Terry stared out the ship’s window.
“I hope in the new planet, we can forget about how shitty Shlorp was,” he said under his breath.
—
Of course, the conversation topics dwindled as their time in the ship stretched on, until there was nothing to do but stare at the surroundings and pray for the sighting of a planet of any type of terrain.
Terry was beginning to go stir-crazy. He wasn’t built to stay in a confined space for this long. He knew their mission was important, but did it also need to be so boring? He tried his best to come up with new ways to pass time with the replicants, but after the pair started yelling at him for ruining another game of I Spy with the clue “something black,” Terry resigned to sulking in his chair. It wasn’t his fault all they could see around them was space! Oh, but somehow it was sooo funny when Yumyulack said he spied with his little eyes “an eject passenger button I really want to press.”
Terry spent a lot of his free time thinking about Korvo. The team leader mostly ignored him, but he broke his silence at one point to talk to Terry again, when the replicants were asleep.
“Why is your collar like that?”
Terry’s head jerked up at the sound of his team leader’s voice, before looking down at his robe. He preferred to keep the last button undone, but Korvo’s sudden attention to it made him a bit self-conscious. Terry brushed those emotions aside, opting to smile at his partner.
“Oh, this? I just thought it made me look cool.”
There was a beat as the leader looked him up and down. “I see.”
It returned to silence as Korvo resumed monitoring the controls. Terry’s smile faltered and he let out a sigh. Why was it so difficult to get a read on this guy? While it was reassuring to have a leader who knew what he was doing, Korvo seemed uninterested in things that defied rigid Shlorpian protocols. Didn’t he know there was more to life than living up to those standards? In a way, Terry felt sorry for the other alien. It wasn’t as though individuality or emotions were encouraged on their home planet. Terry felt a sense of relief in leaving, but he knew Korvo had to be completely miserable.
Terry absentmindedly tapped his fingers against the armrest of his seat, lost in thought. Korvo stayed silent, but in the corner of Terry’s eyes his lips seemed to tighten in annoyance at the sound of his fidgeting.
A realization dawned on him. The only times the team leader seemed to indicate any thought outside the mission was when he was annoyed. Maybe to get Korvo to open up, Terry could keep doing things that frustrated him. Was it a stupid plan? Perhaps, which only made Terry want to do it even more. Eventually Korvo would crack, and the stoic leader would be forced to express himself in ways other than restrained disapproval. Terry’s face lit up with a wide, goofy smile as the various ways he could annoy Korvo came to mind, and in his excitement tapped the armrest faster. Korvo glanced at Terry in irritation before realizing that Terry was already watching him and smiling. The team leader seemed a bit embarrassed by this, looking away quickly before mumbling another update of their journey.
—-
Earth was nothing like Shlorp. Korvo hated it.
In Earth’s Gregorian calendar (because, for some reason, Earthlings had multiple ways to count time) it had been three weeks, four days, two hours and twenty-five minutes since they landed on the already overpopulated planet. In that time, the team leader struggled to become acclimated, as all the responsibility to settle his team rested on his shoulders.
Filling out paperwork in a language he barely understood, Korvo had purchased a family home, hoping to have a stable base in order to reassess the mission. The stress was getting to him, but Korvo had resolved long ago not to express those emotions. He was the mission leader, after all — he needed to be a guide. Who would respect a leader prone to fits of panic? It was better to pretend that those feelings weren’t there, which grew more and more difficult the longer they stayed on Earth.
The rest of the family took to their new environment like ducks to water — ducks, apparently, were a semi-aquatic creature of Earth, according to some nature documentary that the replicants had been engrossed in. The smaller replicant, fascinated by everything human, declared that she wanted to be called Jesse, after several characters in shows and movies the replicants had been rotting their minds with: Jesse from Breaking Bad, which inspired a brief stint from Yumyulack attempting to become a drug lord, and Jessie from Toy Story. Korvo had no idea Earth children kept sentient beings locked in their rooms to play with, which only deepened his distaste for the planet. Yumyulack, on the other hand, seemed to hold humans to a lower esteem than Jesse but still found his own niche, raving about Marvel movies and WWE wrestling or whatever new piece of media caught his attention for the day.
Terrence, for whatever reason, seemed hellbent on trying everything Earth had to offer while completely neglecting his duties. Worse, he tried to rope Korvo into his chaotic ventures, no matter how much he voiced his disapproval. The more Korvo resisted, the stronger his teammate urged him to check out this cool new thing, much to the leader’s annoyance. No, he didn’t want to try a McRib, or buy a season pass to Six Flags, or listen to an album by Lana del Rey. He just wanted to fix the ship and get the fuck out of this shithole planet.
The previous evening while sitting in bed, Terry insisted Korvo watch a video with him on the laptop that Terry had purchased. The team leader watched in scandalized horror as he realized humans even recorded their gross mating rituals, which didn’t look different than the wrestling matches Yumyulack was obsessed with. Apparently it was normal for groups of adult males to regularly go to “Pound Town,” whatever that meant. What, so Shlorpian life partner standards aren’t cool anymore? Whatever happened to finding the one Shlorpian you want to commit to? When Korvo voiced these thoughts Terry just brushed it aside.
“Not everyone wants to be tied down, Korv. I mean, look at them go! They look happy to me. Well, except maybe not that one, he looks kinda overwhelmed. Damn, he’s good at multitasking.”
It figures the lazy bastard didn’t see a problem with a lack of commitment. The entire time they had been on Earth Terry had abandoned any semblance of responsibility in favor of Doritos and trashy magazines. Though, if Korvo was being honest with himself, he saw the red flags from the beginning. Distracting the replicants with fantasies of adventure, ignoring the Pupa, constantly staring at him with that stupid grin on his face — yes, Terry was quite useless, which made it all the more frustrating that he was acclimating to the new environment so easily. Despite the initial language barrier, Terry managed to become completely immersed in Earthly activities, learning English with little effort. Korvo, meanwhile, had purchased various guides to learn grammar and phonics, frustrated that this primitive language had so many arbitrary inconsistencies. Korvo thrived in structure and clarity, and he felt himself being punished for it every step of the way. It felt like he was being driven to insanity while his entire team was distracted by the grimy, inferior planet.
That afternoon, Korvo found himself watching yet another movie with the replicants — he didn’t mind this one, about a lady in a yellow jumpsuit driven by pure rage and a desire for revenge. He was feeling close to that these days, always on the edge of a panic attack that would betray his restraint.
Terry loudly slammed the front door open to announce his presence. “Hey guys, who wants ice cream?”
Of course, the replicants and the Pupa jumped at the chance, grabbing the pint and plastic spoons from Terry’s arms and sitting in a semicircle on the floor before ripping the container open, shoving each other out of the way to dig for large scoops. Korvo frowned at the scene before pinching the center of his face.
“Terry, we haven’t even had lunch yet, you’re just spoiling their appetites. Where have you been all day? I needed your help with the ship.”
Terry shrugged carelessly, evoking a huff of annoyance from the leader. The green alien hummed some excuse about needing to check out something-or-other in town, and visiting the Mall, and how Hot Topic was the shit and they needed a team outing to explore more stores. He was carrying shopping bags full of garbage he would no doubt clutter the house with.
Korvo frowned, unimpressed. Sensing his disapproval, Terry took a step closer with a mischievous grin.
“Hey Korvo, you’ve been getting pretty good at reading English. Check out what my new shirt says!”
Korvo squinted to read his shirt, taking a moment to decipher the characters, before reading the printed text out loud.
I LOVE FORESKIN!
He stared at him incredulously, which only caused Terry to smile wider, smoothing out the wrinkles and staring at his top proudly.
“I got it for free! I thought some guy spilled ketchup all over his pants but he was protesting against something called a circumcision.”
“What did you just say? Circumference?” Yumyulack asked, his question muffled by the spoon in his mouth.
“No, no, circumcision. Apparently it’s some ritual where humans cut their dicks off. Isn’t that crazy?”
“Oooo, but what do they do with it after its detached? I hope that’s not what hot dogs are made out of.” Jesse shuddered.
“You know, it’s funny,” Terry began, placing a finger on his chin. “I did see a documentary that said hot dogs were made from mystery meat. I guess maybe that’s why the back of the shirt says this.”
Terry turned around, revealing the text I WANT MY FORESKIN BACK!
Korvo had had it. He tried to bite his tongue about his partner’s laziness but the brazen display of idiocy was what finally got to him. His hands were shaking, and he let out a grunt of frustration that caused everyone in the room
to flinch.
“Terry,” he began, glaring at his evacuation partner. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Terry opened his mouth, likely to say a lot, actually, but the team leader continued without a beat.
“I didn’t think there was anything stupider than the way you wore your robe, but these shirts are just — just— how does that entertain you, huh? Foreskin? You’d rather be thinking about — chopped cocks or some shit when we’re stuck in probably the shittiest, stupidest planet on this side of the quadrant!”
Korvo was becoming unraveled, tiny purple creatures popping out of his head and dancing around the room. The Pupa abandoned the pint of ice cream in an attempt to shovel the gooblers into its mouth, but was apprehended by Jesse, holding the creature tightly in her arms.
“I should have picked the red planet to land on, it has the same amount of intelligent life. Do you know what someone said to me yesterday? ‘How about all this weather we’re having, huh?’ How is that my fault! I don’t control the weather! What am I supposed to say to that?”
Yumyulack and Jesse exchanged a glance as Korvo continued to pace, frantically getting every bottled-up frustration out in one anxiety-induced ramble. Korvo pointed a trembling finger at the pair.
“The replicants are out of control. The other day Yumyulack said I had ‘dry pussy energy.’ What the fuck does that even mean!”
Turning his attention back to his partner, Korvo stammered unintelligibly before continuing. “And you know what? I can handle all this Earth stuff from the replicants, but you’re supposed to be helping me, Terry!” He cried. “But instead, you’ve been making my life so much more difficult! You fucking slacker!”
By this point, Korvo was fully in tears, completely overwhelmed. He attempted to breathe to calm down, but instead choked out more sobs. The other aliens sat awkwardly for a moment, before Jesse spoke.
“Wow, Terry, you were right. He does have a sensitive heart.”
Realizing that everyone was staring at him, Korvo’s face darkened in embarrassment before storming upstairs dramatically.
—
Terry felt he had maybe pushed Korvo a bit too far.
Okay, maybe it was more than a bit too far. It had started out as a plan just to bother Korvo, but Terry genuinely had a deep fondness for the planet. He wanted to share this love with the guy! It had become a bit of a game with the replicants and Terry to push Korvo out of his comfort zone. The team leader seemed more forgiving of the replicants for their childish antics, but he could tell Korvo found him especially annoying.
He had gotten close a few times before at pushing Korvo to his limit: Once on the ship, when he leaned in next to Korvo, asking what thiiiiis button did? His fingers feathered over the panel as he pretended to contemplate which one he would push.
Korvo stammered, grabbing the other alien’s hands and sharply pushing them away.
“Are you crazy? Don’t press anything, you could get us killed.”
“Oh, I know that. But it’s nice of you to hold my hand, Korvo.”
His expression faltered, tightening up in frustration. He let go of Terry’s hand briskly before putting the ship on autopilot and exiting to his quarters.
Terry found Korvo’s reactions incredibly endearing. There was something about the way the mission leader just cared so much about stupid bullshit that amused him. It was fun to see how wound up he could get over something inconsequential, pouting and being a drama queen over petty grievances. Every day it was “You can’t fill a gas tank with root beer, Terrence” or “You’re not supposed to mix ammonia and bleach, Terry!”
Selfishly, Terry enjoyed the dynamic because it made him feel better about himself. He wasn’t a fuck up because he failed to conform, but rather he chose to be lazy because he belonged somewhere new. Every eye twitch or scoff of annoyance from Korvo confirmed that not only did he impact other people, but that Terry was living a new, Shlorp-Unapproved lifestyle. Additionally, he was helping the team leader come out of his shell. Korvo needed someone to push him out of those boundaries; he needed someone like Terry. After all, they were partners!
Regardless of how he justified it to himself, Terry felt guilty. Korvo spent the rest of the day repairing the ship and ignoring any knocks at the door. Finally, in the evening he came into the living room, his face somber. Terry smiled at him sheepishly.
“Hey there, Korvy.” He held out a wine glass in his hand as a peace offering. Korvo glared at him, irritation shining through his eyes. Silently, he grabbed the drink, sipping it angrily.
“Look, Korvo, about earlier— “
“Don’t,” the leader interrupted, taking another sip. “Not until I’ve had at least two glasses.”
Terry nodded, sitting patiently and sipping. He tried staying silent at first but opted to ramble about his day. Korvo indulged him, quietly listening to a dramatic retelling of his trip to the mall laced with pop-culture references that the team leader did not understand. After more than several glasses, Korvo seemed to relax, loosely swirling the glass of wine. Terry was now ranking his favorite mall foods and concocting a plan of mashing soft pretzels and cinnamon buns into one sandwich (a Pretzamon) but he wasn’t sure if the name was too close to the word Pokémon and he didn’t want another cease-and-desist from Nintendo. Korvo laughed inwardly, shaking his head slowly.
“You’re a fuckin’… idiot, you know that? Dumb, dummy, stupid. You’re lucky you’re cute.”
“I am?” Terry smiled, ignoring the insults.
“Don’t think you’re getting anywhere under my robes. I know the little game you’re playing at, trying to make me angry. Well, it’s working!”
“Yeah duh. I’ve been doing that since we were in space. I wanted you to talk to us!”
“I talked to you guys plenty! I gave you hourly status updates on the mission!”
“Oh, well then excuse me captain,” Terry replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I guess knowing our ship’s trajectory doesn’t really count as conversation to me.”
Korvo glared at him. “What, you’d— you’d rather I cry about how I feel? Or let my guard down and lovingly open up to everyone?”
“Yes!”
“W-why would I embarrass myself like that? That’s stupid.”
Terry stared at him in disbelief. “Um, because it’s unhealthy to bottle that shit up until you explode? Don’t you know it’s good to express what you’re feeling? Or are you always this emotionally repressed?”
“This is your fault,” Korvo reminded him. “You keep stressing me out with your weird antics. I already told you, I don’t want to download Grindr! We have a perfectly good espresso machine at home!”
“Okay, okay, I get it” Terry held his palms out. “Look, I’m stupid so I like all this dumb shit, but even if you don’t you can’t just shut us all out. We never know what’s on your mind.”
Korvo considered this, his face wracked with guilt. He slunk further into the couch. “I bet you hate me. I keep letting you all down.” he stated solemnly.
“Hey, hey, don’t say that buddy. It’s not your fault. As soon as you fix that ship, we can find some other planet, right?”
“The ship is a lot more damaged than I anticipated,” Korvo admitted. “It’s going to take a lot of work to fix it. If I can at least get the ship semi-operational, maybe we could move base somewhere remote on Earth to focus on the remaining repairs.”
Terry let out a whine of disapproval, prompting a glare from his partner.
“I don’t have the luxury of doing nothing,” Korvo explained defensively. “While we’re stuck in this shitty town everybody has been focused on everything but the mission. You haven’t exactly been helpful.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s fair,” Terry sighed. “I know I’m pretty useless. My mind can’t focus on one thing at a time. Guess that’s why I’m such a second-rate Shlorpian, huh?”
Korvo frowned. Ironically it was the first time the team leader had seen a semblance of true vulnerability from his partner. Terry, in a roundabout way, also had inhibitions; Perhaps his carelessness was partially a mask for his insecurities. It would certainly explain why he relished the opportunity to live on such a chaotic, messy planet instead of recreating their homeworld. Korvo contemplated this for a moment before speaking again.
“We can stay here for now,” he decided, eliciting a gasp of joy from Terry. “But I don’t have to like it! I want to keep complaining about it the entire time we’re here!”
“Deal,” Terry agreed, placing an arm around his partner. “You won’t regret it!”
“Somehow, I already do.”
“We can celebrate tomorrow! You pick dinner. Anywhere you want!” Terry poked Korvo’s side. Instead of getting upset, Korvo gave him a soft smile.
“I enjoyed the flatbread.”
“Oh, what, pizza? Pizza is fucking awesome!”
Korvo nodded in agreement. “Cheesy bread with more cheese stuffed inside the bread. I have to admit, it’s pretty clever.”
“Uh-huh. Well now I’m excited. I’m going to go upstairs and dream about that stuffed crust. Hopefully I won’t start chewing on my pillow again.”
The green alien stood up, making his way to the stairs. He paused for a moment, considering something. He looked at Korvo and smiled.
“For the record, I think you’re cute too.”
Before Korvo could respond, Terry made his way up the steps quickly, learning over his shoulder to yell.
“By the way, I want half of the pizza to be pineapple!”