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Like most mornings nowadays, Varian was woken up early after his sleep fell victim to a nightmare. Unlike the previous week, though, the boy did not immediately break down into uncontrolled sobs. Ruddiger purred from his place on Varian’s chest, and the boy focused his attention on the gentle sound.
The teenager took a few minutes to breath calmingly before he sat up to look around his room. It had been two days since the mindboggling meeting in the throne room. Varian could hardly believe what had happened; he could hardly believe that the monarchs would show him mercy after all that had happened between them. Their gentleness and understanding shocked him and made him question all of the assumptions he had made.
It was a bizarre sort of boredom that warred against the child for the past couple of days: he was endlessly grateful not to be in prison, but he wasn’t free either. The boy also hadn’t forgotten the reasons that led him to betray the kingdom in the first place. Varian’s mind was fraught with conflicting emotions and attempts to understand his current situation.
His surroundings were real enough, though, and the young alchemist used all his energy to stop thinking about how he felt towards the royals. Soon enough the guards would bring breakfast, and Varian could briefly distract himself with the interaction. An hour or so passed before a knock sounded from the door. Varian assumed that it was Pete, Stan, or one of the other guards carrying a tray. His expectations were completely shattered when the door opened wide to reveal the form of Queen Arianna herself.
Queen Arianna had meant to go to Varian’s room a day earlier, but she decided to give him some time to process. Having given him that day, she was now determined to go speak with him. It would do a lot of damage to her cause—the child’s healing—if he was left alone without guidance again. She was relieved to discover that Frederic had enough self-awareness to know that his presence was too much for this first visit. Thus, Corona’s Queen found herself standing outside a small bedroom. She was accompanied by two servants carrying trays.
“Your Majesty,” Pete greeted her with a respectful bow.
“Good morning,” the woman smiled, “Do you think he’s awake yet?”
“He was yesterday at this hour, Your Majesty,” Stan replied before pausing, “Are you going to go in there?”
“Yes. Varian and I are going to have breakfast together,” Queen Arianna stated.
“Your Majesty, he’s not restrained,” Stan immediately gasped while pulling a pair of cuffs from his belt, “We would have taken care of it earlier if we had known.” This caused the monarch’s reserved, yet friendly, demeanor to shatter.
“No!” Arianna ordered, “You will do no such thing.”
“But, Your Majesty, he’s dangerous…” Stan argued. His voice was free of malice towards the teenager but he clearly believed that he couldn’t be trusted. Every member of the Royal Guard felt humiliated after the boy had managed to kidnap the Queen from the palace. In their stunned panic they managed to overinflate the alchemist’s fearsome reputation.
Exhaling slowly to calm herself, the Queen responded: “I don’t think Varian is dangerous…anymore at least. He’s confused and he’s afraid of us. We aren’t going to give him any more justification for that fear.”
“The Queen’s right, Stan,” Pete stated, “Come on, you’ve seen the kid.” Despite his comrades’ feelings, Pete was thoroughly unimpressed by the ‘Terror of Old Corona.’ All that the thin guard saw when he looked at Varian was a child who had bitten off far more trouble than he could handle.
“Of course,” Stan bowed, conceding the issue gracefully. Smiling thankfully to Pete and giving Stan an understanding nod, Queen Arianna gestured for them to open the door.
As soon as the door swung open, Arianna looked inside to see a small figure laying on the bed in the corner of the room. Varian’s hair was messy from sleep, but his eyes were open. Her face melted into a soft smile when she noticed the furry creature still asleep atop the teenager’s torso. This happy expression was marred, though, when the boy noticed who was standing at his door. The teenager’s eyes widened and a look of fear passed over his face. The Queen felt her heart clench at the horrible realization that she had scared him.
He carefully moved the raccoon onto his pillow before throwing off the covers and scrambling to his feet. Varian nervously stuttered: “Y—Your Majesty!”
“Good morning,” Arianna replied gently. She took in the amusing sight of the young alchemist. He was wearing a set of ill-fitting sleep clothes that had been provided from the palace wardrobes. The garments hung off his small body comically, and the woman realized that the guards must have informed the maids about the boy’s age rather than his actual size. Now unarmed and distanced from his rage, it was hard to envision Varian as a threat.
She was less amused, however, with the fear that still lingered behind the child’s eyes. As the moments passed, Varian slowly pulled his arms up to wrap around himself. His shoulders were trembling, and he bit his bottom lip anxiously. In all her years as Corona’s consort, Arianna had never been on the receiving end of this kind of reaction. Before she could decide on an appropriate icebreaker, Varian suddenly dropped to his knees and bowed his head.
“I…I’m sorry, Your Majesty. If…If I had known you were coming I…” Varian stammered.
“It’s okay, Varian,” Queen Arianna interjected. She gestured for the servants to set their trays on the room’s desk. They complied and were dismissed. With a stern look from herself and Pete, Stan finally acquiesced to the unspoken order to leave her alone with Varian. The guard closed the door, causing the teenager to raise his head rapidly. Confusion took its place amidst the fear the boy’s expressive face displayed. Sighing, she tried to speak gently: “Please, Varian, stand up. In the throne room...well...Fred’s a bit traditional but I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“Oh,” the boy gaped at her while rising to his feet again.
“I thought we could have breakfast together,” Arianna said, drawing Varian’s attention to the trays her attendants had deposited on the desk.
“Breakfast?” Varian questioned, tilting his head in confusion.
“Yes,” Arianna smiled softly, “I thought you might like some company.” Her smile faded when she noticed tears pooling in the child’s eyes.
The first tear dropped onto Varian’s cheek as the boy stammered: “I—I… I’m s—sorry.”
“Varian…” the Queen gasped, shocked by the teenager’s sudden display of emotion. She had hoped to postpone more serious discussions until they had shared a meal together, but the gesture had apparently been enough to shatter his barriers.
“I—I’m sorry,” Varian exclaimed, “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I…I was just so angry…and so alone…I…I’m sorry.” The boy crumbled as he gripped the bedpost to stay upright. His limbs were trembling with emotion, but they quickly found themselves being supported. Without hesitation, Queen Arianna stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the teenager. Cooing softly, she placed one of her hands on the back of the boy’s head and pressed his face into her shoulder softly.
“Shh,” the Queen whispered, “I know. I know you’re sorry. I knew from the first few moments you spoke with me that night that you were confused…that you would regret everything when your head cleared.”
“That’s no excuse for what I did to you…I could have trapped you in amber…I took you from your family. I…I…I could have killed you!” Varian cried guiltily, “You didn’t do anything to me and I…I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did to you.”
“No, it’s not an excuse…” Arianna sighed, “It’s an explanation, though. You were scared…you had every right to be scared. And you had no one helping you…so you made a mistake.”
“I’m sorry!” Varian gasped while his trembling intensified.
“It’s okay…well not okay. But…” the Queen softly stated, “I know you’re sorry. I’m not angry at you.”
“W—what?” the teenager stammered while pulling away to look up into the woman’s eyes, “H—how? What? Y—you have to be angry at me!”
“Why should I be angry at you?” Arianna prompted gently, “Being angry wouldn’t help either of us.”
“B—but…I hurt you…” Varian rasped.
“You didn’t want to hurt me,” the middle-aged woman countered, “You were afraid and you were upset…but you wanted to be listened to…you needed our help. You lost your father and we ignored your suffering. Varian, you did bad things after bad things were done to you. If I chose to be angry at you, then the cycle will just continue. What good would that do anyone?”
“But…I…” the teenager’s words failed him. He pulled away from her suddenly, confused by the swirl of emotions in his mind.
“Varian, it’s okay,” Arianna said emphatically, “You’re not alone anymore. We—I—am going to help you get through this. I know what it’s like to lose a part of your heart…you never should have been forced to go through that alone.”
“I just…I miss him so much… I don’t know what to do without him. I need him. I need my dad back,” Varian wheezed sorrowfully. Arianna reeled him back into her embrace and felt the boy lean on her trustingly. Barriers weakened and feeling safe for the first time in months, the alchemist finally let himself sob. The Queen remained silent as she allowed her former kidnapper to cry into her dress. It was far from a joyous moment, but Arianna knew that this was Varian’s first step towards healing.
“I know, Varian. Better than anyone else…I know,” the Queen whispered while pressing a light kiss into the crown of the boy’s head. Several minutes passed quietly while Varian’s sobs slowly calmed. After the last tearful spasm, the teenager pulled out of her grip and took a couple of steps backwards. The boy crossed his arms across his torso once again and looked down at the floor bashfully. Suddenly his stomach grumbled, causing Arianna to remember her original intentions.
“S—sorry,” the boy stuttered awkwardly.
“Eat some breakfast with me,” Queen Arianna suggested again with a kind smile, “then we can talk.”
“O—okay,” Varian nodded in agreement.
“Everything is going to be alright,” Arianna asserted encouragingly. For the first time in months, Varian found himself starting to believe her.