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Shadow had been… Distant.
But maybe Sonic was going crazy, because he was sure that if he asked anyone else, they would disagree.
Shadow's like that, they would say. He's always quiet and reclusive. He just isn't social.
But that wasn't it.
Sonic knew Shadow! And he could tell that something was off! He didn't smirk anytime a challenge was presented to him like he usually would, with that ego of his that sometimes took over his demeanor. He loved showing off, especially if it was to Sonic. However, lately he had just accepted challenges quietly, a simple nod and that was all. There wasn't any excitement. The thrill he and Sonic would usually share during a sparring session or a race just hadn't been mutual for a little while, and the blue hedgehog noticed it.
He also didn't seem as passionate about the things he liked anymore. He didn't have a book he was reading at the moment, he didn't talk about flowers or constellations, he didn't defend his weird habit of eating coffee beans with a spoon, and the only thing that reminded Sonic that Shadow's favorite flower was lavender was his always present smell.
It's not like he hadn't gotten any opportunities to ask directly either, he did ask Shadow one time, however, the other simply brushed it off and insisted that it was nothing, that it didn't matter, and that he would get over it. No matter how clear Sonic made it that he wouldn't judge, Shadow refused to tell him.
And it would've ended there. Sonic couldn't force Shadow to tell him anything, and he chose to believe him when he said that it would be over soon.
He was wrong, though.
It only got worse with time.
Shadow almost disappeared completely, he probably would've had if it wasn't because of his job at GUN, and even then, he had been showing up to less and less fights as time went on. Sonic found those fights a tad less exciting than usual.
Usually when Sonic encountered Rouge it would also mean that Shadow was around there, somewhere close to them. But that also had changed.
Sonic asked Rouge about Shadow. She simply sighed and shrugged.
That was a red alarm. Rouge was Shadow's biggest confidant. She always knew everything first. He could just lean closer to her, whisper something, and it wouldn't escape that small bubble between the two. Rouge surely knew all of his biggest secrets.
If Shadow hadn't told Rouge, then he couldn't have told anyone else.
He knew Shadow had a tendency to bottle things up, in order to keep his mask on, but Rouge always knew the truth. Shadow would always end up telling her, Sonic was aware of this because of how many complaints he had heard from the hybrid.
If Shadow didn't tell Rouge, then he was the only one who knew about this problem that was bothering him so much. He was the only one who knew what was happening and the only one who could possibly come up with a solution, however, he apparently hadn't had any luck with that, given the situation they were in.
The last straw, however, was the one time Rouge called him, asking if he had seen Shadow.
It was common for him to simply walk out of the house unannounced, she had explained, but he had been out for too long now, and considering his strange mood recently, she had every right to be worried.
And Sonic couldn't just stay back watching with crossed arms.
So he went looking for Shadow, throwing the entire city upside down, not leaving even one rock flipped. And that made him realize.
He really should've known sooner that Shadow wouldn't even be in the city…
There was one place Shadow had shown him once -because they had that level of trust now, apparently-. It was outside the city, too far for anyone that didn't count with superspeed.
Shadow told him that, at night, he could spot the ARK perfectly from that place. Sonic assumed that was part of why Shadow liked that place so much. The other reason he could think of was because no one could find him there.
Except for Sonic, of course. Shadow explained that Rouge knew of this place, however, she had never been there. But Sonic had.
It wasn't exactly secret, but it wasn't popular either.
You had to follow the highway that would take you to the next city to the east, and when you see that old restaurant with the sign of an old lady cat, turn left, away from the restaurant. There, if you continue going straight, you will get there.
A valley.
It hadn't been cursed by technology, not even a trace of handmade tools. Just nature itself. There, at night, you could perfectly see all the stars in the universe -or at least that's what Sonic thought, he didn't bother to count-. As Shadow said, it usually would be covered in flowers and bugs, and life. However, it was fall, and the warm colors overpowered the greens.
Sonic stood there for a second. It wasn't night, or spring, but Shadow was still there.
Sitting on top of a fallen tree. It was old, the hybrid has explained, its oak couldn't hold its weight anymore. It had been standing tall the last time Sonic was there.
But whatever, he wasn't there for the tree.
He approached Shadow, and once the black hedgehog looked up to him, he shot him a warm smile.
"Hey, Shads." Sonic said as he stopped in front of the other, waving a friendly hand.
"What are you doing here?" Shadow asked quietly, no ill intent in his voice.
"I'm here to see you." The blue hedgehog answered casually. The other narrowed his eyes at him. "What?" Sonic asked.
"Why?"
The blue hedgehog sighed as he crossed his arms and looked down for a second, before looking back at the other, right to his red eyes that seemed so dark at that moment.
"Because I worry." He said, and at that, Shadow's gaze hardened.
"There is nothing to worry about. You can go."
"Why are you here, then?" Sonic quickly asked, and when Shadow didn't grant him an answer, he continued. "You're here, all by yourself- And you've been avoiding me, it's hard not to get worried about you, Shads."
The hybrid turned his eyes to the side, avoiding Sonic's own. He then sighed.
"I already told you, I'll be fine." He said, voice now firm and cold, however, Sonic could see past that. He was breaking down Shadow's walls while Shadow was trying his hardest to keep them up. The blue hedgehog had won many of their competitions before, and he knew he had to win this one as well.
"And after you told me that, you only got farther away from me. Don't go, I'm here to help you."
Shadow groaned as he closed his fists. "Well, I shouldn't need help." He stood up and took a step closer to the other hedgehog, who, instead of cowering, stood his ground firmly. "Everyone needs help from time to time, and that's okay." Sonic explained, his voice soft but his posture rigid. That didn't deter Shadow. "I should be over it by now." The hybrid said, voice volume increasing a bit.
And Sonic realized.
"Is this about María?" He asked quietly.
Shadow's breath got caught in his throat as he took a step back, eyes wide in surprise. The back of his legs hit the fallen tree, almost making him fall as well, however, Sonic reached his hand out to him, keeping him away from the ground.
They looked at each other for a second or two, the only sounds heard were the ones made by the wind rustling through the grass and trees, and Shadow's shaky breathing.
The blue hedgehog sighed.
"Shadow, what happened?" He asked softly. Shadow looked off to the side once again. He had chosen to step away from the competition.
"Why are you doing this to me?" The hybrid spoke softly, so quietly. The other had never heard him sound so… Small.
"I'm sorry." Sonic said, letting go of Shadow, providing him with his personal space, his safe bubble. "I just want to help you, Shadow, I really do. I can't stand to see you like this."
Shadow didn't answer.
"You can trust me." Sonic added.
The black hedgehog took a deep breath and closed his eyes before speaking.
"I lost one of María's photos." He said quietly.
Sonic's heart dropped to his stomach. "Oh…" He muttered quietly. "Don't worry, I lose stuff all the time-"
"It's not the same." Shadow spoke up, a bit louder this time, interrupting Sonic. "I don't have many photos of her…" He then added, once again more quietly. "How could I lose something so important?"
The blue hedgehog tried to think of something to say, however, Shadow continued speaking, and he just let him.
"I shouldn't feel sad anymore, though." He sighed. "What's the use of feeling sad? She's been dead for so long and I…" Shadow pressed his lips together. "I should be over it."
"No, no, no, Shadow, don't say things like that." Sonic said as he stepped back into Shadow's vision. The hybrid looked up at him through glossy eyes. "It's okay to feel sad, she was your sister, and you lost something that reminded you of her." He said gently, his hands itching to grab Shadow's.
"I mean, if it happened to me, I would be bawling my eyes out." Sonic then added, offering the other a gentle smile. "Listen, I'll help you find the photo, okay?"
"I can do it on my own." Shadow retorted, still stubborn.
"But it'll be easier with help." Sonic said as he gave a wink. The hybrid sighed and nodded with his head.
"Great! Now, about that other problem…"
"What other problem?"
The blue hedgehog smiled as he extended his arms to the sides. "You wanna cry a bit? You can, I won't judge ya." Shadow frowned.
"What's the use?" He asked as he waved a hand. "I shouldn't feel saddened."
Sonic sighed. He had a very similar problem to this, if he was being honest. That 'mask', that both of them kept on. However, Sonic had grown surrounded by supportive friends, a safe space, who allowed him to feel sad. On the other hand, Shadow had grown up surrounded by humans that kept forcing him to be perfect every second of his existence, and the only person that would be considered his safe space was ripped away from him.
"Emotions don't need a purpose, Shads." The blue hedgehog said as he sat down on the grass, patting next to him for Shadow to sit there. He didn't sit down immediately. "You should just feel them, that's all." He shrugged, and now that Shadow was sitting next to him, he turned to face him.
"You're allowed to cry. And to laugh, and to scream. And if you don't like doing it in public, you can always come here."
Shadow took a second to answer.
"Since when are you so 'emotionally intelligent'?" He asked quietly, and Sonic chuckled.
"Well, I've had my fair share of emotional trauma." He shrugged. "But this isn't about me." He waved a hand around. "You wanna hug?"
Shadow narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't make this awkward, hedgehog…" He muttered. "Hah, yeah, I'll try not to."
And those were the last words spoken before both hedgehogs finally hugged, and after a few seconds, Sonic started to hear Shadow sob. He decided not to comment on it. Instead, he focused on the sky, which was turning more and more dark as they sat there. He tried to remember where Shadow had shown him that the ARK was, but he couldn't quite distinguish it with all those other stars. Maybe he'll ask Shadow later, he seemed to get very excited when he talked about stars anyways, or at least he used to. He couldn't wait for that to be back to normal.
"I swear if you tell anyone about this, hedgehog…" Shadow spoke up after a few minutes, breaking the hug and rubbing his face with his hands.
Sonic chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, I'll know, you'll kick my butt." He said half jokingly. "Better?" He asked as he now got a good look at Shadow's face, who simply nodded in silence. "Okay." Sonic whispered.
They stayed there in silence for a little longer.
Shadow looked up at the sky, some stars now visible. His puffy and red eyes were the only thing that betrayed him and told what just happened. As Sonic stared at him quietly, he supposed that Shadow's super healing would take care of the swelling around his eyes, but for now, they could just stay there, he didn't have a problem with it.
"Hey, Shads?" Sonic called, and Shadow hummed. "Next time you feel sad, please don't avoid everyone, you know you can come to me." The hybrid once again hummed, this time not in question, but recognition.
The black hedgehog sighed.
"Okay, hedgehog, let's go before you get even more cheesy." He said as he stood up, looking down at the other hedgehog.
"Go where?" Sonic asked, and Shadow rolled his eyes.
"You said you would help me look for the photo, did you already forget?" Shadow spoke as he offered a hand to the other.
"Ah, right, yeah." Sonic said as he accepted Shadow's help. "But…" He started saying as he took a couple of steps back, a mischievous smile forming in his face. "Last one who gets to your house is a rotten egg!" He exclaimed before blasting off.
"Hey! Sonic, get back here!" Shadow exclaimed as he went right behind the other hedgehog.