Work Text:
Kunikida felt like he was walking through treacle.
He was old enough he should know what to do, how to react.
He wondered if anyone else ever felt like this.
Those others like him that did nothing in the right order.
That never saw the point in things like this until, that is, he met him.
Dazai was handsome, pretty, beautiful.
Odd words came to mind when he took in his face.
Even odder, the man wanted him.
This man, who was confidence personified, wanted him.
Even with the knowledge that Kunikida was asexual, it wasn’t a problem.
It was strange.
Kunikida wanted to be optimistic, about what could be in his future with Dazai.
Yet the pessimistic side yelled louder.
He didn’t know how relationships worked.
Was it just a more touchy feely version of friendship?
He felt like he would never find out the answer.
He had no experience.
Well, he had plenty in his imagination but that wouldn’t help him in the real world.
Why would Dazai want that, want him?
When he could have literally anyone else out there.
Kunikida knew it was stupid, Dazai had explicitly told him he wanted him.
It should have been enough, but Kunikida had no success in his dating life to fall back on.
To give himself the confidence to believe the pretty words Dazai showered him with.
He couldn’t stop the overthinking spiral that not even his notebook could contain.
Dazai fit more of his ideals than anyone he’d met before. He’d long given up the hope of finding anyone who matched them.
He hadn’t realised just how low his standards had dropped through desperation, frustration, and the lack of words to describe his own feelings, a strange sadness tinged with relief.
Yet, Kunikida was starting realise, and admit to himself that for the first time, in a long, long time.
He might.
Actually.
Genuinely.
Like Dazai back.