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It was supposed to be easy.
They have done so many more dangerous missions. This one wasn't even risky! It was an in and out job, practically a walk in the park. No one was supposed to get hurt.
But suddenly Zack hears a cry and turns around. And the noble- not a mage hunter, someone with no training, no experience, a panicking rich man woken in the dead of night- is thrusting an elegant rapier right into Cavendish’s chest.
"No!" Zack launches forwards, shoving the man away. Disarming him is another thing that should be easy, but it takes too long, too long. They're alone, so while he is using his limited combat knowledge to get rid of the threat, Cavendish is bleeding out.
The tug gets stronger and stronger as he fights the man. It distracts him, makes him stumble. Makes him make stupid, stupid mistakes that take precious time.
And then the golden string snaps.
It snaps with such force that he recoils backwards. He gasps, hand flying to his mouth. The noble tries to back away, tries to run now that Zack is distracted. Zack lets him. He will soon run into one of his accomplices, someone who can fight much better.
Zack flies to Cavendish, drops to his knees. He puts his hands on him and tries to heal him, focuses with all of his might, pushes his magic out. But there is nothing to heal. Nothing he can do.
He sobs, a loud, wounded sob. He lowers his head, wrapping his arms around himself. The cold emptiness in front of him, a wound that he can't heal. That he was too late to heal. What use is he?
A healer can't heal the dead. But a necromancer can.
Dakota can save him. Dakota was forced to admit his shameful secret to Zack, and only to Zack. So Zack knows that Cavendish isn't gone. Dakota can fix this, can save him. He'll be ok.
He murmurs a choked apology to the body in front of him as he staggers to his feet, rushes for the door. He needs Dakota. He needs to find Dakota.
He slams open the door to the ballroom. Milo, Melissa and Dakota are all already there, talking amongst themselves while they sort through the stolen goods. They look up when Zack enters. "Did you find i- Zack, what's wrong?" Milo rushes to him, grabs his shoulders.
Zack shakes him off, as much as he wants to collapse against Milo and pretend that the evening was as easy as he swore it would be. He runs to Dakota, who looks down at his tear stained face with concern. "Cav... Cavendish."
That's all that he needs to say. Dakota nods, his face contorting with both fear and guilt. "Ok. Thanks, kid. You stay here, let me-"
"No, I need to help! I can heal him after!" Zack insists.
"You shouldn't have had to see-"
"I'm coming." He stiffens with resolve. Dakota nods, not wanting to argue anymore. They run back upstairs, leaving Milo and Melissa baffled. They look at each other and nod before following.
———
Dakota crouches next to Cavendish and lays his hands onto him. Zack watches as his eyes glow an eerie grey. He shivers. It is like the strange feeling he always gets around Cavendish, except ten times worse. It feels like clammy, cold wrongness. It doesn't feel like the kind of magic you would expect someone like Dakota to use. Someone warm and full of life.
The golden cord reaches out tentatively again, and now finds something to latch onto. Zack breathes a shaky, shuddering sigh of relief, although one edged with cold droplets of fear. He was dead, and now he isn't.
He places his hands on Cavendish, and shivers run through him. Even the warmth of his own magic can't overcome it. It is like he is painting over it, but the wrongness is still underneath his sloppy paint job.
Cavendish makes a little gasping sound as he wakes up. "Oh, that stung."
Zack can't help it. He gasps, presses his hands to his face. Tears sneak out of his eyes as he stares at Cavendish. He should act calmly, to keep the secret, but he watched his friend die. And now his friend is awake, stretching and complaining.
"My boy, what is wrong?" Cavendish asks, watching the extremely distressed child with concern. "Did something happen?"
"You... stabbed..." Zack can hardly speak, he is so overcome. How has Dakota dealt with this so often, by himself? How is he still alright, able to carry on?
Cavendish puts his hand on his shoulder. "I'm alright now, see? You healed me. I'm alright." He is soothing, reassuring. But when he touches Zack, the clamminess makes him shudder.
"You're alright." Zack mumbles, pressing his hands to his eyes. "You're alright."
"Yes, that's it." Cavendish smiles encouragingly. But Zack notices him wince, notices the pain that he can't heal, pain from a source that Cavendish can't understand. "You saved me."
Zack didn't save him. Zack failed him.
———
Dakota doesn't like how withdrawn Zack is for the rest of the day. He still jokes with his friends, but it's almost like he has to remind himself to do that. Like he is going through the motions, while his head is wandering to unpleasant places.
Dakota remembers the first time that he saved Cavendish. It was awful- he cried himself to sleep, could barely look him in the eye for days. Zack must be feeling the same, but even worse. Because Zack is a child. Zack is a child who watched someone he cares about die, was unable to save him alone. And now, like Dakota, he has to carry that. Because he can't tell Cavendish. All because of Dakota.
“Zack, can you go get more firewood?” Melissa asks, busily stoking the flames with her magic. “Cavendish, you’re exempt because you got stabbed again.”
“Again?” Cavendish frowns at her.
“You do get stabbed a lot.” Milo concedes. “More than even me, and the universe is trying really hard to get me stabbed.”
Zack flinches roughly as he gets to his feet. Dakota rises too. “I’ll help, Zack. Since Cavendish is convalescing.” He shoots Cavendish a teasing grin as he walks away, ignoring both the annoyed response and his own heavy feeling.
Once they are away, Dakota puts a hand on Zack’s shoulder. “You wanna talk about it, kid?”
Zack looks up. Dakota hates the look in his eyes- almost haunted. “He died. I… I saw him die, I watched him die, and now he’s here. He’s alive. But also not. I… I… how do you cope with this?! How do you cope with knowing?! With seeing him dead, over and over again, and then having to pretend that everything’s ok?!”
“Kid. Kid, breathe.” Dakota’s hand shoots out to grab his. “In and out. Yeah, that’s it.”
Zack takes a shuddering breath. “Thanks. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologise. You’ve got good reason to freak out.” Dakota laughs dryly. “I just try not to think about it. I don’t really cope much better than you, I just hide it better. And that doesn’t mean that you should hide it, that’s bad for you.”
Zack wipes his eyes with a shaky hand. “If I don’t hide it, he’ll figure it out.”
“I’d rather have to tell him than have you destroying yourself to keep the secret.” Dakota says, from far too much experience. It has destroyed him already. He can’t let it do that to Zack, this innocent child who has already gone through far too much. “Sit here for as long as you need. I’ll tell them you’re relieving yourself.”
“Should I thank you?” The sarcasm is shaky, but present. That makes him relieved. He was scared that the incident might truly have broken Zack. It has shaken him, but he’s a strong kid. He’ll be ok.
He shouldn’t have to be. If Dakota was a better person, then Zack wouldn’t be in this situation. If Dakota could just come clean, Zack wouldn’t be suffering without even being able to tell his closest friends.
“Can you stay with me for a bit? I keep seeing… stuff when I’m alone.” Zack admits. Immediately, Dakota nods.
“Of course I can.”