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Being far from home had its melancholy beats but finding a new place to peruse in a busy city was charming to the senses.
Kunikuzushi was traveling abroad after getting kicked out by his mother and having just been dumped by his partner of 4 years. The accumulation of those events happening just made him wake up and decide he wanted to go somewhere far away. He didn’t care where; it just needed to be far. He went to a city much sadder than him— New York.
Of course, he didn’t think the major city was sad when he first picked it. The hubbub of this place circulated around the world, even to his little town in the countryside. But as he walked along the city’s streets, pushing past the claustrophobia of being between the distracted wanderers, he felt lonely. The city wrapped around him with its tall, glassed skyscrapers and constant noise for it too knew of loneliness. Loneliness did not always come in the form of silence but in drowned out voices.
On his third day, he strolled around just looking around at all the buildings. He carried his phone in his pocket at all times and held a paperback book underneath his arm. He took a subway and let it decide where he should be dropped off. He was good at finding his way back, thankfully, because it took him quite a ways. He half expected to see odd people on the subway but the worst he got was a man mumbling to himself about capitalism and flat Earthers. Kunikuzushi sat still the entire ride.
He was tired but he found a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant nearby just when he was about to turn back to go back to the hotel. All other buildings were faded white, beige and an old-timey, dusty hickory brown. This little restaurant descended down rather than have a little patio out front that Kunikuzushi was getting used to seeing. He only noticed it because the interior was an elegant cerulean slanted with a teal upon one glance. It contrasted heavily with the browns of his surroundings like a secret oasis below the Earth.
Kunikuzushi stopped, looked around and noticed not many people were around in this area. Behind him was an italian restaurant with a flowery patio where the flooring was fake grass and fake vines hung low over the makeshift ceiling. People had their privacy only by a thin veil of covering that hung down between each table. Kunikuzushi could hear the scraping of forks and knives. Light accents of romantic music wafted from below, to which Kunkuzushi assumed was the kitchen rather than the restaurant itself as a waiter walked up the steps with a tray full of entrees.
Kunikuzushi didn’t bother to look forward to seeing what was ahead of him. He walked down the steps towards the cerulean restaurant and entered inside. He was greeted by something much warmer than what he had expected. Its gloomy blues were actually therapeutic to the heart as he saw the decorations of household objects that created a happy home. The idea of this being someone’s small business was made evident because everything was placed with care. The room was displayed with authentic flowers, specifically forget-me-nots, and were placed anywhere you looked. There was a sweet aroma that prickled the nose with gentle curiosity. It made Kunikuzushi hungry.
“Hi there!” A man with tousled, ginger hair and sapphire blue eyes rushed to the counter next to the entry door and stood in front of the cash register. A large book full of names and dates was left open, to which the man leaned down to take a look at it. He looked up at Kunikuzushi then back down at his book. “I see you’re not a regular with me,” he said warmly. “Is this truly your first time or dare I say I have forgotten you?”
Kunikuzushi hesitated to answer. He wasn’t expecting this and didn’t know how to play around with small talk in this fashion. “I’m… not from New York.”
The man smiled. “That makes two of us, friend.” He jotted something down in the book and looked over the words again but a bit more carefully. “I know you didn’t book an appointment because I didn’t schedule anything for this time slot.”
Kunikuzushi flinched. “Ah. Should I have made one or what?” He was a little irritable about the thought of having to leave. He walked a long way and when finally presented with a choice to settle down, the last thing he wanted to do was take another hike to look for a place to eat. There was always the restaurant next door… but he wasn’t in the mood for it.
Luckily, the man shook his head and crossed his arms. Maybe he could read facial expressions because he calmly went to explain, “They’re recommended, yes, but today’s one of those days where business is slow. Kids are still in school. Workload is pushing to meet deadlines before the holidays hit. I’m not expecting serious business until next week. Consider this your lucky break.” The man winked, which made Kunikuzushi blush faintly. He’s… so bold.
It’s not that he was prude about flirtatious behavior, but this was just an everyday transaction. He didn’t come down here to meet up with anyone yet the man was looking at him with subtle curiosity. As if he came down here to meet him after work.
“Okay. Well. Just one table then.”
“Anyone else accompanying you so I can make the proper seating arrangement?”
“No.”
“You’re very straight-forward. I like that.”
The man jotted more stuff down but this time he wasn’t even looking at the page, and he was scribbling fast. Kunikuzushi glared at his hand, unsure of how to feel about what he’s writing. He then slashed a line through something on the page then picked up a menu before gesturing his hand outward towards the tables. “This way,” he said with the cool and collected smile he continued to have.
Kunikuzushi followed after him with a sigh, and sure enough, just like he said, it really was a slow day. There was no one else in here besides him. However, evidence of people having been here not too long ago was apparent as there was one other table nearby that still had plates and glass cups piled onto each other. Kunikuzushi could make a judgment of what to expect as far as eating since in the center of that table was a porcelain 3-tier serving tray commonly used for brunch and tea time. Bits of sandwiches were left on the tray still.
When the man finally stopped at his table, he pulled the chair out for Kunikuzushi to sit. He blinked with surprise. “Y’know, just because I’m the only one here doesn’t mean you have to give me special treatment.” The man shrugged and gestured down at the chair. “Just this once then, hm?”
Kunikuzushi rolled his eyes then politely took his seat. He scooted himself forward towards the table and felt slightly embarrassed at how tall the chair was. He couldn’t put his feet flat on the floor. He tried not to make his embarrassment noticeable by putting his elbow down on the table and resting his cheek against his hand. With his other hand, he held it out for the menu to which the man placed it into his hand.
“Let me guess… you’re also my server.”
“Ajax at your service.”
“Are you also… making my food?”
“The one and only!”
Kunikuzushi sighed. “Great.”
Ajax laughed. “I’m not that bad, I promise. You won’t regret coming here, I’ll make sure of it.”
Kunikuzushi crossed his arms and said nothing. It was probably better to save the insults for someone else. After all, he didn’t want this man’s spit in his food or beverage. Kunikuzushi tried to avoid the man’s gaze, though it lingered just a few seconds longer before going away. He heard a door open and close behind him.
Kunikuzushi looked around the room, enjoying the quietness that stilled the room. With or without Ajax, the place was still cozy to be in. It had been awhile since he could settle down and relax a bit in a busy city such as this one. He could feel himself in the present, feeling all the nerves and soreness in his legs from tirelessly walking. He could sleep in here. If only…
“Do you know what you’d like to start off with?”
He didn’t even realize he had his eyes closed until he heard Ajax’s voice right next to him. His head was slumped after his wrist, so when he opened his eyes, he jerked to the far other side of his chair and noticed him bent over to meet eye level with him. Ajax laughed softly and stood upright with his hands behind his back like a mischievous child.
“I can recommend something if you’re not able to decide.”
Kunikuzushi didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t looked over the menu yet because he dozed off, so he went back into place and looked up at him with a smug smile. “You know, you have a really outgoing personality to run a place like this. Feels too quiet and contained for someone like you.”
Ajax’s expression shifts between bright and happy to somewhat startled. “Aha… you think so? Well, I suppose that makes sense. Truthfully, I would’ve gone with an entirely different look, but this little joint isn’t for me. It’s for my little sister. She’s particularly charmed by the whole tea party setting with scones, sandwiches and tea. All that jazz.”
“Oh, does she work with you?”
Ajax smiles brightly. “No! She’s a bit too young right now, but I’m working here to get it all set up, so when she becomes of age she’ll take over.”
Kunikuzushi nods like this makes perfect sense. “So… you wouldn’t eat this stuff then? Since you said you would do something different?”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Ajax shakes his head and shifts his weight to one foot, letting his arm fall to his side. “I like all kinds of food really. I grew up moving around a lot, having no money to buy groceries for days, and was homeless for a while. It’s best to eat what you get and not think too much about what the taste will be like.” He grins as if his spirits were lifted. “You appreciate little blessings like that when you’ve been dealt a bad hand, y’know?”
This… wasn’t fair. Kunikuzushi could feel his eye twitch as he listened to this man. He had an urge to be rude but feigned his politeness. After all, this was just some stranger to him. He didn’t need to be hostile.
It bothered Kunikuzushi in more ways than one. He was so charming and stereotypically so sweet like a perfect protagonist in a movie. His smile was radiant, and his gaze was soothing enough to make the soul tender.
“So,” Ajax leaned in, placed his hand on the table to support himself up as he looked down at his customer with the gentlest, devilishly handsome smile imaginable. “If you’d like,” he shifts the menu a bit forward for Kunikuzushi to see as he taps one of the items. “I could let you try the afternoon tea special. Comes with any tea of your choosing, one scone, one sandwich and comes little pastries.”
Ajax’s mere presence being so close to him caused Kunikuzushi to feel intensely timid. He could feel his heart fluttering in his ribcage, whispering into his body of his sudden interest towards this stranger. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he wanted to rip out his heart and tell it to shut up. He wanted to tear it out and make it behave.
Their eyes met, and it wasn’t until Ajax laughed again that he realized he didn’t even answer what Ajax was saying. For that, he continued on without him. “I could… hm… I could make you a nice, warm ham and cheese scone. I’m thinking… Mm… Maybe I’ll make you a smoked salmon sandwich with that? Nice lemon-dill butter to accompany it.” Ajax looks over Kunikuzushi’s face with warm intent— practically, if not affectionately, tracing his eyes over his features. Kunikuzushi felt his face heat up, and he silently cursed himself for it. It’s just nerves… he’s really close… that’s all. He hopes he’s not blushing. Gods, it’s over if he really is.
“I can’t really get a reading on what you’d want for tea.” He turns his attention back to the menu and taps two different types of tea. He talks even lower as if the question is personal and deserves extra privacy. Not quite a whisper, but a tone so low that it was like a secret. The breathiness of Ajax’s voice drives Kunikuzushi’s crazy; he practically melts just listening to him talk. “How does Earl Grey sound? Or the Chamomile?” He smiles when he notices him losing his mind. “Or perhaps I misjudged you?”
“Earl Grey,” Kunikuzushi said quickly but flatly. There’s not a hint of weakness in his voice, and Ajax blinks in surprise. He doesn’t even say this because he likes that type of tea. He says it because it rolls off Ajax’s tongue the best. Ajax hums an affirmative sound, nodding over the decision as if it should’ve been obvious. “Earl Grey. Okay. Consider it done, my friend.” He seems proud of the rhyme as he picks up the menu and walks to the back of the room again, disappearing behind the door.
Kunikuzushi finds himself pushing his face into his hands and groaning. There’s just no way. No way he’s finding this guy attractive. Not like this. He tries to shove the thought away by opening up his phone and scrolling through his social media to pass the time. He can’t even process words, no matter how simple the sentences are. Reading his book now would be pointless.
Ajax comes out quickly, and before Kunikuzushi could whip his attention around to look at him, he is setting down a teapot and a little cup and plate in front of him. “Here you go. I didn’t forget to bring this out to you.”
Kunikuzushi didn’t say anything but he leaned in a little too quickly that when Ajax pulled away to walk back into the kitchen, he brushed against his arm. It was a small bump, but Kunikuzushi heard Ajax laugh a little then say, “Ah, sorry. Didn’t mean to hit you.”
“You’re okay,” he replied back. Then he heard the door open and close. It takes a while before Ajax comes back out again, so Kunikuzushi simply drank his tea in the meantime. He looked into the cup, swished it around sluggishly and felt himself getting drowsy. Just looking at the dark liquid swaying around in his fingers and the warm sensation poured down his throat was enough to melt off the nerves.
That feeling doesn’t stay long. Ajax walks up and begins setting the table with the food. He brings another teapot and sets it next to the 3 tier serving tray. It looks more pristine than the one that was previously used on another table with intricate patterns along the surface and a glossy shine. It makes the food look dantier as the scones look perfectly shaped, cut with no jaggedness on the sides. Each layer could be seen from a side-ways point of view, and the ham and cheese toppled onto each other beautifully. Little speckles of crumbs dotted the plates around the smoked salmon sandwich and made it look like a delicacy. Bits of the veggies poked out from the sides, and the salmon could be seen as having been rolled and carefully placed between the breads. The pastries at the bottom were an assortment of cookies and macaroons of varying colors, all picked perfect for a soft palette.
When Kunikuzushi went to look up to thank you, he was greeted with Ajax’s warm smile again. It was like he never faltered in being a source of warmth. “Hope everything looks good enough to your liking.”
“Thank you,” Kunikuzushi said with modesty. Ajax takes this as a sufficient response and turns to go, but then Kunikuzushi opens his mouth to say something. His words got caught in his throat, but he made a sound which brought Ajax back. “Hm?”
He doesn’t know what he’s thinking and somehow he doesn’t even feel in control anymore. He just blurts it out. “Come sit with me.” It comes out like a question rather than a request, and Ajax obliges him delightfully. “If you wish.”
The longer Kunikuzushi stays here, the more it feels surreal. Back home, the world felt intimate, sure. He knew everyone in the small village, and the world seemed a lot smaller there too. Even though the sky spreads out forever, there never came a thought in his mind, that it actually went on forever. But here, it feels so personal like he’s not sitting with a stranger or a friend but something more. And the world keeps moving farther and farther out into the distance. He doesn’t know where it’ll go, but he secretly hopes Ajax will take him there.
As Kunikuzushi picks up his scones, it crunches under the light weight of his fingers. It’s a soothing sound, enticing the senses to eat. He puts it up to his lips and takes a bite, moving it to one cheek to chew. When he looks at Ajax, he has his head resting on his hands, in which his elbows support him up.
“I take it you like it?” Ajax asks warmly, and Kunikuzushi already feels himself blushing again. “It’s good. Really good.” It comes out rushed as if he needed to get the words out before they melted on his tongue. It amused Ajax enough to get a wider grin out of him. “Glad I do them justice.”
“We don’t have anything like this back at home,” Kunikuzushi admitted as he turned the 3-tier tray around to look at everything in different angles.
“Yeah? So, just about everything is new to you, huh? Are you from the countryside?”
Kunikuzushi nods as he takes another bite of his scone. It tears right off and delights the senses. The moment is soft, and the warmth of the food brings him comfort that he hasn’t been able to capture since being here. It melts off a lingering coldness he had in his subconscious.
“Well, I hope this city has been treating you well. Especially if you’re by yourself. If you need anything once you leave, like directions or something, I’m more than happy to provide.”
Kunikuzushi gave him an impish smirk as he chewed. He wasn’t thinking of the consequences of what he was about to say, “Yeah? You don’t look busy. What if I asked you to come back to my place?” He finishes up his scone as he watches for Ajax’s face to shift in expression. Yet it doesn’t. In fact, a flicker of anticipation reaches his eyes and he keeps his smile. “Is that what you want?”
Kunikuzushi accidentally gulped audibly. He feels the last bits of his scone descend into his stomach. There’s a long pause between them before Kunikuzushi pushes his hands down between his legs and makes an awkward expression. “I-I didn’t mean to say that. Sorry.”
Ajax waves him off. “No worries, friend. I take no offense to it.”
They continued to chat while Kunikuzushi ate, and every now and then he’d look up at him from his food. He was very lax, taking up his space unapologetically as if he were at home. Kunikuzushi could feel his glances every time he looked away, and none of them felt intrusive. They made him feel like he was a painting.
When he was finished, he cleared his throat and looked directly at Ajax to speak properly. “Thank you for the meal.” Ajax holds up a hand humbly. “Of course.”
Kunikuzushi gets up and reaches into his back pocket. “How much do you—”
“No need.”
Kunikuzushi didn’t realize his other hand was on the table until Ajax placed his hand over it. Startled, he looked up only to be met with a little slip of paper. It had a phone number on it. “I feel like you’ll pay me back later,” Ajax winked with a soft smile. Kunikuzushi felt himself tense up and glared venomously. “W-What? Do you think I’m just going to— to— hook up with you or something?”
Ajax raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. “I didn’t think so, no.” Ajax took his hand, and for some reason, despite how angry Kunikuzushi’s face looked, he didn’t take his hand away. “But… I wouldn’t oppose hooking up with you if that’s what you wanted.” By the look on Kunikuzushi’s face, Ajax knew he was throwing him way off. He recovers the situation by patting his hand and chuckling lightly. “What I actually think, though,” he began, “Is that you’re cute. I’d like to know you. And let’s just say you don’t call me, then this meal is on the house.” Slowly Ajax gets up from his seat while still holding his hand. Kunikuzushi took a step back, wildly red in the face now with overwhelming timidness. “However, if you do call me, consider our date your payment.”
He doesn’t even remember if he answered. One minute he’s looking up at this stranger with the most baffled of expressions then the next thing he knows he hears the Italian music from next door. The sound of cars honking fills the air between them, and yet Kunikuzushi finds himself still staring. He doesn’t remember putting his book underneath his arm. He doesn’t remember taking the slip of paper.
“I get off at 11 tonight. So no pressure. I won’t even get mad at you if I don’t ever hear from you again.” Ajax lets go of Kunikuzushi’s hand. He rubs his hand, feeling weird from the lack of warmth Ajax’s hand gave him. “I hope you do call or I’ll think about you well into next week,” Ajax takes his steps back to go back inside, unable to keep his eyes off Kunikuzushi. “Be seeing you… uh…” Then he really laughed. Genuine and sprinkled with little glimmers of infatuation. “Jeez, I’m sorry. What was your name again?”
Kunikuzushi stands there on the sidewalk with both hands holding Ajax’s phone number. The music drifts their feelings together like watercolors on a canvas. Their hearts were beating, and any lover could see that outlined in their chest. For a second, Kunikuzushi really did wish he’d just tell Ajax to come home with him. Maybe then he could kiss that smirk right off his face. Maybe they could do more than that.
“Kunikuzushi,” he said firmly, as bold and deterred of feeling as he could get. But he couldn’t fool Ajax. He saw right through him.
“Look forward to seeing you again,” Ajax opens the door and walks halfway inside before saying, “Kunikuzushi.”
Then he was gone. The song that was playing comes to an end, and a new one begins. It sends him off like a new shift in the air. Kunikuzushi looks down at the paper. He never takes his eyes off it even when he was halfway back to the hotel room. He tried to take his mind off him for the rest of the day but couldn’t.
At some point, it got windy and the slip of paper blew out of his hand. Kunikuzushi went to reach for it, but it was long gone. He doesn’t remember where to go as far as going back to the restaurant if he wanted to, but that never crossed his mind as a problem.
In the hotel room, late in the night, he sat on the bed and stared down at his phone. Every number accounted for. Every number leads to him.
He presses the green button to call and listens to it ring in his ear. He sees the New York lights all around him. They know he’s not lonely anymore. His heart begins to swell when he hears it:
“Hello?”
Kunikuzushi smiles. “Hey.”
“Ooh~ Is that my Kunikuzushi that I’m hearing?”
“It is.” He doesn’t correct him. It felt natural to be called his. Was he going insane?
“Interested in that date?”
Kunikuzushi continues to stare out the window. He thinks briefly about back home and what everyone thinks about him. He wonders if anyone thinks he’s okay. But those questions he once asked before, that once were filled with dread, didn’t feel as heavy anymore. For once, that seemed okay. “Yeah,” he could hear him smiling on the other end. He just knows it. “Let’s go out together.”